Clean Burning and Efficient Propane

"Wait, what?" Twilight muttered in disbelief. Here she was, sitting on her desk, reading her books and such. All of a sudden, she received a visit from her friend. A visit she had not anticipated.

Standing in front of the befuddled alicorn was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and sad blue eye shining at the princess. Twilight already knew this is her friend, Fluttershy, the shyest among her seven friends, Spike included, and Ponyville's greatest animal lover.

However, while Twilight might have been happy to see her, two things have happened since she visited. Two things that turned this happy visit into a confusing interaction.

One, on her back were three cylinder objects, both of the tanks had some slight rust on the silver-looking exterior. Each had a bronze value on the top of them. A slightly ripped gray label was glued to each side of the tank, saying the words "C3H8." Twilight, proud of her chemistry knowledge, knew this is the chemical formula for propane.

Two, the question Fluttershy has asked that left Twilight with her jaw sticking out from her mouth.

"Come again?" Twilight asked one more time as she shook her head a bit.

"Would it matter?" Fluttershy calmly replied as she put down the three tanks on the floor. "If I...you know..."

"Would it matter if you sold propane and propane accessories to...me?" Twilight repeated, her mind clouded with disbelief. The alicorn would not mind if Fluttershy asked for some books about animals. She wouldn't even mind if Fluttershy asked for books about red farm stallions and how to win a stallion's hearts. But asking her to buy propane?

"And no." Fluttershy said, breaking Twilight out of her thoughts. "I'm not a changeling. If I was a changeling, then how would I know the exact words to your love letter to Big Macintosh are: Eeyup. Oh handso-"

"STOP." A blushing Twilight commanded the pegasus as she lifted her hoof up to silence the pegasus. "I'm convinced."

"Okay, so should I put you down for one or two? You want the thirty gallon? It's 25% off. It's the 'Don't Come Any Closer: I'm Insane for Propane' deal. Pinkie came up with that idea."

"Fluttershy, wait." Twilight interrupted bluntly at the happy pegasus. "Is...this some kind of joke or something?"

Fluttershy hid behind her mane as her the irises on her eyes enlarged. "Why should I be joking about this? You think this is meant to be funny? Um...no offense, but I'm not trying to be funny, Twilight."

She trotted next to Twilight's side with a calm look on her face. "Twilight, let me give you fourteen compelling good reasons why you should switch to propane."

"At least tell me one or two good reasons." Twilight grumbled a bit, still befuddled at the pegasus.

"Very well." Fluttershy replied as she let out a sweet smile. "Unlike your other ordinary heating supplies, like charcoal, ugh, propane is clean-burning and efficient. Other sources of fuel give off that smoky smell that smells like you kiss a pony who smokes. Also, there are many uses for propane. It can be used to power up your kitchen supplies, including your stove. You could save bits by powering your stove with propane instead of electric! Propane can be used to power hot air balloons! Think of the savings!"

"Uh." Twilight mumbled as she scratched the back of her head with confusion. "I'm not sure...uh..."

"Twilight." Fluttershy said firmly, glaring slightly at the alicorn. "Let me say some things. Imagine a world...of propane. The mares warming up their stoves with propane. The stallions cooking on their propane-fueled grills. All the colts and fillies doing something productive with their lives by becoming propane tank wipes."

Like a giant moth, Fluttershy fluttered to the window, looking out at the peaceful town. "A world without coldness. A world without fuel shortage. A world without butane. That's a fatherless gas. I close my eyes and see the peaceful world there is."

She gently flew to the silent Twilight, the princess's muzzle almost touching the pegasus's muzzle. "Can you imagine it, Twilight?" She said, her eyes not blinking despite the fact that she spent many minutes up to Twilight's face. The alicorn's face started to produce sweat. The uncomfortable silence made her more nervous.

"A world...of propane...and propane accessories..."

"Okay, okay!" Twilight shouted as she backed away from the calm pegasus. "I'll have that 30 gallon tank."

Without warning, Pinkie crashed into Twilight's room through a window, wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a siren horn on her hooves. "SOMEPONY'S INSANE!" She sang as she jumped around and played the siren horn. "LOOK OUT! SOMEPONY'S INSANE!"

She then took out a large 30-gallon tank out of nowhere and placed it in front of the wide-eye Twilight. "I got my eye on you, nutcase!" Pinkie gigged before she jumped out of the same window.

Twilight just stood there, unable to think of a single thing to say. Fluttershy just smiled innocently. "Oh, um, if it's okay with you...whenever you buy a 30-gallon tank, you get a free tank of propane." She carefully placed one of her one tanks in front of Twilight. "It's to help the fire ants."

"FIRE ANTS!" Pinkie cheered as she blasted herself to the same broken window, this time covered in a huge amount of fire ants swarming her pink body. She started to jump around, repeatedly yelling, "FIRE ANTS!" Her shouting suddenly stopped as her body froze.

"Yeouch."

Pinkie Pie dropped to floor, shaking a bit as fire ants continued to swarm around her, all biting at the same time. Her shaking stopped as fire ants left her body and swarmed to the window and into the town. Pinkie continued to lie down with closed eyes and a silly grin with her tongue out.

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight yelled in concern as she fell to the ground, checking Pinkie's pulse.

"She's okay, Twilight." Fluttershy assured Twilight, putting a hoof on the purple pony's shoulder. "She's done this many times."

She flew up to Twilight and gave her a gentle hug. "You did a great thing, Twilight. Just keep on imagining Equestria, run on propane. Propane is love. Propane is life."

"Are you sure you're not a changeling?" Twilight accused, glaring slightly at the yellow pegasus who broke the hug. "You don't usually seem calm about all this."

"Propane has changed my life, Twilight." Fluttershy calmly replied, putting her pair of propane tanks on her back. "It changed my point of view of the world and the future of society. Propane is the answer. And if you still believe I'm a changeling, may I remind you of that picture of Big Macintosh you drew yourself? The one with the thick gorgeous yellow mane and finely-toned muscl-"

"OKAY! OKAY! STOP! I GET IT!" Twilight shouted, shoving her hoof on Fluttershy's mouth. "Just don't say it out loud, I don't want Rarity or Applejack finding out about this."

"Thank you again, Twilight!" Fluttershy squeed as she trotted down the stairs with a careless smile, "For choosing Strickland Propane! I'll be back to collect the payment...if that's alright with you."

Twilight remained silent as soon as Fluttershy was out of sight. "I'm so confused, I can't even blink." She mumbled, her eyes not moving a muscle.

Pinkie Pie continued to lie down before coughing a few fire ants out of her mouth as she slowly got up in slight pain. "While I was blacked out, was anything inserted into me?"

Fluttershy trotted down the stairs with a jolly grin on her face. As she happily hummed to herself, she stopped when she saw Spike nearby, sitting on a chair while reading his Power Ponies comic.

"Hey Spike. Wanna buy a propane tank?" She asked, grabbing a propane tank and hoofing it to the confused dragon.

"Why do I need one?" He asked, scratching the back of his head with his talon.

"Rarity loves a dragon who has a propane tank!"

"Sold!" Spike squeed as he threw a handful of gems at the pegasus's face, causing her to drop to the floor and scatter her two propane tanks. Spike paid no attention to Fluttershy and merely grabbed a propane tank and ran off to his room, giggling like a madman, as he sprinted to his closet where he kept his Rarity plushies.

Author's Note:

I return bros. Ltmajordude lives on! The hell with MajorDude!!! HA HA HA AHA HA HA AH AH AH AHAHA HAH!!!

See how many King of the Hill references I made!

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AstraLee

AstraLee #1 · Nov 2nd, 2015 · · ·

I've literally never read a single one of your stories before.
I accidentally clicked on this trying to get to the bottom of the page on mobile.
Thank the stars for this masterpiece.

The Cynical Brony