What the Heck

by Zytharros

Wherein The Author Realizes He's Already Passed His Fourth Five Thousand Word Marker and Argues With Himself Furiously for Missing Out on the Usual "And The nth Five Thousand Words" Chapter Conclusion

"What happened?"

I don't know. One minute, I was narrating a meta story about an author and his OCs, and the next, I broke the Seventh Wall by breaking the fourth five thousand word barrier without the obligatory reference. These cracks suddenly appeared Iin the fabric of my imagination, and I've been traveling around in my TURDIS ever since.

"TURDIS? You mean TARDIS, right?"

Oh, not another friggin' Doctor Who reference. No! Not TARDIS! Thoughts Undulating Resonance Dissonance in Schtroumpfs!

"That doesn't even make sense."

My seventh wall is broken! How the heck am I supposed to make any sense when my seventh wall's cracked and spilling particles of psychosis all over my normal thought circuitry! Ah, frick. There goes a Twilight Spar-cow mooing and getting slapped with a parcheesi board by Mega Goku Jeice GX. Not again...

"What can I do to help?"

Oh, go sod off somewhere.

"No, you!"

Seriously, are we going to- k-how!

"Amy Pond. Why do you have Amy Pond in your head?"

"My wife and I have been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately."

"Ow! Stupid scum-sucking... another one!? With a Poké Ball? Why is she holding a Poké Ball, and how can I see that it contains the beginnings of a new self-insert?"

It's my imagination. I do what I want.

"Self-absorbed prick. Like, seriously. You're a self-absorbed prick.I don't know why I put up with you."

You're a manifestation of my personality in the form of a Mettaur with a giant scythe. You don't have much of a choice.

"Damn you, you Hitler's dream Aryan race German Russian arsehole."

I may have blue eyes white dragon, but my hair isn't quite blonde ditz enough.

"Oh, you're so beyond a blonde ditz, you're like Fry when he's starving a brain slug - you actually consume the slug with your thought-nothingness."

Pickles.

"Exactly! You have the.. screeeeech ...what the pig do PICKLES have to do with anything!?"

I haven't had a pickle in so long I'm craving the juice.

"Man-pickle?"

Fffffuuuu... No, you sick trick prick lick stick flick! I'm not gay!

"Homophobe."

Oh for... what, just because I don't fancy the thought of kissing a guy I'm suddenly a gay-hater?

"Homophobe."

...Okay, are you just saying that word to annoy me?

"Homophobe."

...Seriously. Immature, much?

"You called everyone who's gay a 'sick trick prick lick stick flick.' That makes you pretty homophobic."

...Okay, did I call everyone that, or was it just you? Seriously. Check your facts some time.

"Homophobe."

Okay, you Internet troll. You're almost as bad as [NAME REDACTED]. Seriously, if you used 'homophobe' like [NAME REDACTED] did, it would be the newest word to be on the not-fad list.

"...Okay, that was lame."

*sigh*

"I think I've won."

What?! You honestly come in here, rip me like some two-bunk hotshot, and then expect to waltz out claiming victory?

"Your Seventh Wall is down. I can do whatever I want."

Wait! Don't... aw, frick. Sevarros is loose...

*cackling in the distance*

I hope no one tries to write a story about a psychotic yellow Mettaur with a giant scythe... y'know, the yellow construction-hat bot with round feet and a black body from Mega Man?

Those dudes. Except imagine him with a scythe like this.

And a rather crazy look in his eyes.

...

Oh shit. He just lopped off Scootareader's head... I'm off to mitigate any damages with the real Scootaread-aw fudge buckets. He's dead, too.

Well, at least the harem of Rainbow Dash he acquired is going strong...

...

Nope, they're dead, too.

Comments

[KillerSteel]

The harem of Rainbow Dash will live on in our hearts forever.

[Ssendam the Masked]

Yee.