- Member Since 24th Oct, 2015
- offline last seen January 27th
FaultyScrewdriver
You know, for a smart pony, I do some really stupid things.
FaultyScrewdriver
Joined 24th Oct, 2015 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- AutumnShy_88 · 18k words · 175 views
- Megaskullmon · 54k words · 25 4 · 680 views
- XenoPony · 3k words · 30 2 · 716 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.086 seconds
Total duration
643 users online
752,673 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Yes, almost as important as using proper grammar so you don't sound like caveman. Get an editor. As minor as they are, these little grammar gems appear quite a few times in the story...like in the first sentence
As to the rest, well...it's not all that bad. There's a few wonky bits here and there, but this could turn out to be a decent story with some editing.
I'd suggest posting on FoE groups since ones like Looking for Editors are all s
t.
Also, strength of 1? That's, like, a baby's strength. If you want her below average strength, give her 4, same goes for endurance (and you are aware that usually SPECIALs add up to 40, right?
)
6576539
Thank you for your advice. I've been looking for an editor for a while now, but no one is biting.
And I am aware that the normal S.P.E.C.I.A.L. adds up to around 40, but I'm playing this one by Fallout 4 rules, where they've revealed that you only start with 21 points to invest into it. I'll wait until after Fallout 4 comes out before I release ethereal next chapter so I can see how they do the leveling.
Again, thank up for your advice and input, and I hope you'll check my story out again AFTER I get ahold of an editor.
6577555 I'll do it, but first I have to know what the main cast sounds like, if they were voiced. What do they sound like?
6634142
-Yay!
I'm confused.
Are you offering to do a reading of my story?
Cause if so, that's great!
6634142
Alright. I'll just list down everyone important that's spoken so far. (In order)
I imagined Vanilla Cream having a pretty average voice. Nothing too deep, or too high. Kinda like Twilight Sparkle's voice.
Butterscotch Candy's voice is sweet and soft. It's high pitched but not too high.
The Overmare has the 'everyday businesswoman' voice.
Igloo has a deep voice, with a little bit of a Canadian accent.
Fix Ser has the voice of a middle aged man going through a mid life crisis.
Fresh Gardens voice is soft, and somewhat quiet.
Crackerjack's voice is deep, gruff, and it carries.
Cinnamon Sweet's first personality has the voice of a mad mare and it always has a sarcastic tone to it, while her second peronality has a kinder tone.
Scented Candle (when she does speak for the first time) has a voice similar to Vanilla's.
and Runner has the same voice of an Italian mobster.
I love it ! Everywhere in stable is full of love lol
poor those...i have no idea what will happen ! I will absolutly follow this story 
7034392
Glad my story peaks your curiosity. And trust me, it only goes downhill from here for Vanilla!
Well, that was an interesting fanfnic so far, I look forward to seeing more of it.
7036392
Gracias senorita. I appreciate it. Positive comments are always appreciated.
7036456 You're welcome.
I'm guessing based on some things like the Mr. Handy and Crystal City you where partially inspired by Fallout 4? Nothing wrong with that of course, my fanfic was partially inspired by New Vegas... only without Vegas.
7036523
Nice eye. Indeed, I mas tremendously inspired by Fallout 4. In fact, the announcement of Fallout 4 spurred my to write this story. But, those inspirations are about where it stops. The rest of my story is going to be completely unique. I hope you enjoy it.
As for your story. I definitely noticed that it was based off of New Vegas. You aren't exactly subtle about it. But hey, to each their own. After all, I find your story completely enjoyable.
In fact, our stories take place at nearly the same time. Mine three years after the events of FoE, Yours five years. I also plan to have my story take place on a long stretch of time (3-5 years) Which means my story will be quite long. And if you don't have a problem against it, there's something I've always wanted to do. Wanna do a combination chapter?
7036584 Yeah, the use of the NCR and the Crimson Empire conflict drawing comparisons to the NCR and Caesar's Legion probably was a dead giveaway.
I'd love to sometime, sure.
FaultyScrewdriver
Just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I enjoy your story so far.
You ALMOST lost me when the Overmare agreed to use the Stable door to repair the water purifier.... personally, I just couldn't believe that decision was actually made... I mean, what sane pony would voluntarily destroy the only thing keeping the supposedly dangerous outside world outside.....
However, I suspended my disbelief, kept reading, and am now enjoying the characters and the plot so far, so you definitely grabbed my attention. Keep it up!
Alright, back to editing my story and planning out the few chapters for me!
7040318
I appreciate you enjoying my story. I actually have a counter argument to your reasoning, but as I don't want to anger you and lose you as a faithful reader, it will not be presented forth.
Furthermore, the missing Stable door will bring some interesting plot points into the future, trust me. And when those times do come, I hope you very much enjoy them.
So again, thank you for the positive comments, and personal feedback.
7040342
You don't have to worry about angering me.... maybe before I tried writing my own story I would get angry about it.. but now I know that sometimes there is more to it.
If you don't mind sharing it in public, I am quite interested in hearing the counter argument... it may help me to see what the thought process was... if you want to PM is, you can do that as well.
Anyway, keep it up!
Good chapter, nice cameo for Bluesky, if I didn't have integrity I'd use this as an excuse to advertise.
Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter, keep it up.
7042691
You gave Crystal City a short cameo. Figured I owed it to ya to give something of yours a cameo.
You give some ya get some.
7042699 Of course, and we should discuss that idea of co-writing a chapter sometime.
I'm kinda confused as to why Divinity said Hydra wouldn't heal Orange's leg considering that's exactly what Hydra is for. As listed in the fallout equestrian wiki on drugs "Hydra is an advanced form of super healing potions that boast enhanced effects. Hydra increases cell growth in ponies and allows their bodies to rapidly regenerate tissue while simultaneously setting broken bones and removing any foreign objects. While not addictive, Hydra can be dangerous if the cells begin to grow and reproduce too rapidly, forming cancerous tumors and disfiguring growths (because of flux). It is usually used only as a last resort."