Boy and His Box: The Lucky Block

by Jake Witt

Chapter 1 Part 3

Author's Note:

Trigger Warning: There might be offensive or boring dialogue. You can skip this.

-Anybody that is white, ginger, freckled, or anything close to that should not be offended for I have those traits... though, I don't have blue eyes. Don't hate me, please.
-If I add something accidentally offensive: get 5 fimfiction accounts and hate the crap out of this... or just comment. That's original.
-I am only doing this hopefully one time for a better reason for Lego Craft to be in a dungeon. The chocolate cow murder was a dumb idea that I'm not transferring.

I sat on the couch in Box's kitchen, sinking until I was sure I was stuck. The place was odd, especially the door leaning on a wall with a picture of the window behind me.

After setting aside some food for the pokemon, he stared at the picture as if it was a real window. I could tell Box was in no mood nor prepared for my arrival. Was he trying to remember a speech he made up? Nobody could tell.

The oven made a honking noise, prompting Box to take the microwave out of the oven and take out some soup he made from the microwave. He tossed a couple sliced of toast into a hanging wooden toaster that caught on fire, burning a trip wire that caused a disco ball to fall into place as the replacement fixture. The disco ball "kicked" an oncoming golf ball that collided with a steel chest above my head; opening the chest and dropped an exercise ball with two boards duct taped to it, which fell in front of me.

Box lowered the steaming soup as two bread slices shot out from the burning toaster, magically returning it to its wooden pony look. The bread hung to the chest, grabbing its partner before diving into the soup. Box chuckled, "Magic bread. 'I Am Bread'... hehe..."

I finally got into a standing position, not questioning why half of my body was deep within a couch with no legs on tile floors. The couch itself could be described as the texture of a quilt if it had silk and firm textures. Half of it was bigger than the other and if you sat on the left side you'd sink while those on the right were tilted. The middle section had a pony-shaped form which Box filled in.

In his telekinetic grip; he changed a rather dapper dolphin into a princess, causing an unseen but easily heard chain reaction as fine china teleported onto the table with a rose petal themed salad and sandwich dish with a tiny cube of red velvet cake with a yellow fondant rose on top. The plate was the most elegant thing you would see in this house of inventive yet fashion-wise horror.

Box tossed a marble into a coned devise that sent it down some tubes and into a jar on the other end of the room that tapped a button lightly before a door opened up to catch the marble. Next to the button, a traffic light changed from red to yellow to-

"One minute, Sir Box!" Luna called from Box's 'closet' or should I say 'Timelord Arcade'.

"Alright, just headshot some grunts!"

"We will do that!"

I slowly turned my head to Box, "Halo: Reach: Arcade version?"

Box smirked, "With magic and/or wings; yes. So, remind me why you were captured? Last time I saw you, you were kicking and screaming as guards took you away and the rest is a blur from trying to forget you. ...if you don't mind?"

"It's fine. You know how I mentioned...

...and how it would never happen in Equestria? Well, Equestria changed like us but backwards and more magical."

"Ok, and...?"

"I accidentally offended a blue pony, who hired an assassin to kill Celestia and pin that crap on me. Assassination failed, but the guy was a good actor... or something."

"What did you even say?!"

"I heard him crying in an alleyway. There was no light so I didn't know who he is until I was imprisoned-"

"Please answer me."

I let out a sigh before responding, "'Why the long face, you don't have to blue; I think I know how to clear your skies!' It was dumb, but I'm not one for speeches. I got punched in the gut and he ran off before taking flight."

"Hold on... there was a pegasus in a unicorn town?"

"There were earth ponies, too, but I don't see the problem," I gave a shrug.

"The unicorns were using earth ponies as slaves. The pegasi were willing to make peace with them except for that fact." He rubbed his chin, "Its sort of like your 'Merican Civil War with the penny guy and all that, but it was air against ground. I'm partially glad you weren't there but also wished you saw how that allowed the princesses to rise in their power; all while liberating the earth ponies."

I looked at the weird mush Box made for himself and the tomato soup on an animal plate in front of me, "So... is this a history lesson?"

"Not unless you want it to be."

"I'm good but I did have some good times underground."

"Really?" Box ate the soggy mush, gaining a loud crunching sound that should not be there. He leaned closer for my elaboration.

"Among my countless visitors and now-dead friends there was an earth pony filly that gave me company until she died of old age. She mentioned a few things going on, but it gave me some thought along with the fact of my imprisonment."

"Yeah...?"

"With the different pony colors and three races; it's easier to offend! I learned blue jokes, blonde jokes, misaligned eyes jokes, and so on; making me think of the simplicity of Earth... then a thought formed. What was Adam and Eve's race?"

Box's face fell, "I don't think you should continue."

"I'm serious! Who decided what race was superior? For all I know: a certain hair color could be below anybody or people with specific features could've been enslaved."

"Dude, stop. ...nice weather we're having?"

"Yeah, its nice. Very sunny. Though, it could've been freckled, blue eyed, gingers burning over those crops on a hot summer day. 'Gingers have no souls' after all."

Box slowly backed away with his empty plate, his wings flaring, "Lego Craft, stop this now!"

"Sorry but I'm not a fan of being stuck in a cell and forgotten; just because I offended a small horse," I said evenly.

There was a sound of plastic being dropped on the tile floor as Luna stood there, wearing a blue Spartan helmet with her horn sticking out. We stared at her as she slowly asked, "Is this a bad time?"

Box waved his hooves, while his summoned horn pulled a lever that beamed in a small throne for Luna with a matching moon pillow falling onto it from nowhere as a cushion, "I- its fine! We were just talking about sports," He turned to me, "...right?"

"You do know how much I hate sports, right? Anyway, it was a one-sided about sports and video games until we started talking about Madden."

Luna tilted her head as Box groaned, "Madden?"

Box nervously took over, "It's an idea of turning hoofball into an arcade game with its own console version-"

"There's consoles here, too?!"

"XBON ONE, PONY PlayStable systems, and Neightendo WiiniiU and JoyBoy 3DS XL with magic crystal adaption interface. Capatable with JoyBoy Advanced." Box said faster and better than any advertisements. He leaned in close to me, "There is no social media somehow."

I nodded then took in a spoonful of my soup... it wasn't tomato; it burned hotter than fire.