Well I felt like adding another chapter. I'm bad at dialogue. Ponies say too much. Or rather, one pony says very little and another says too much.

Please give me useful criticism! I appreciate that it's terribad, but I would like some identification as to why. Poor story? Poor writing? Been done before? Difficult to read? Maybe I spend too much time writing things that aren't exactly clop? Maybe I spend too much time writing things that are exactly clop? Help me out here! But thanks for the comments!

Not that I understand any of them in relation to my story except for Syne's. 679346

Also, I have no pre-reader, and the second one was longer so it's likely there is spelling or grammar mistakes in there somewhere. I didn't find any glaring ones, but... yeah. It's likely. Please point those out to me if you happen across any. I'll fix them in a jiffy.

The two horns that had been jammed into her pulsed... <-- First thing that made me go "What the fuck"

Panting, Queen Chrysalis stepped back and admired her handiwork. <-- Well shit.

I knew it was Queen Chrysalis the whole time, and yet, through the whole thing, I really wanted all "Celestia" said to be true. I wanted poor Luna to have saved the day (night), and for Twi to have hope... I also knew better... Poor Twilight

At least she went out with a bang! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Queen_Chrysalis.png

Awesome! Keep the chapters coming!

Huh aorta wierd

This is my fetish!!
Lol, not too keen on the gore though.

But still a good read.

This fic is unnecessary, no offense. Chrysalis was ALREADY being competent.

She created the note of attack to get Canterlot on guard, then snuck in and took Cadance's form. She threw Cadance in a place nobody knew about to make sure nobody would find her (she would most likely die of starvation). The only thing she didn't expect is Twilight's persistence (she didn't seem to surprised by Twilight's appearance, just went "what the fuck" at the 'Sunshine' dance). After fooling all Twilight's friends AND EVEN all of Canterlot ("What they don't know is that I have fooled them all"), she goes to place the previous bridesmaids to guard the entrance to the caverns. When Twilight had flipped out and blatantly called Fake!Cadance evil (ousting herself from Shining, her friends AND EVEN Celestia) Chrysalis knew she had to make the unicorn disappear (Again, the caverns prove their worth). She didn't expect them to survive, and since her cover was blown, it seemed appropriate to lose the disguise. She luckily beat Celestia, one of the most powerful beings in the world (cockiness x100). With Shining incapacitated, the shield broken, and the Mane6 defeated, Canterlot was hers. She didn't think that a starved and weary Cadance could muster the magical charge to free and power Shining's shield spell (which is really how the Changeling were defeated , NOT by "the power of love").

She made only two big mistakes.

-Abducting Twilight (keeping her around or asking Shining to allow her to stay in the wedding would have kept Twi from finding Cadance).
-Keeping Cadance and Shining in the same room (for obvious reasons)

But both of those are obvious with HINDSIGHT.

And why does every 'Changeling win" fic mean death and horror? Chrysalis just wanted to feed her people. Conquering Equestria was just the aggressive version. Conversion pods, feeding = slow death, and all that jazz is just blech and meh.

/my two cents

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I completely agree.

I really just wanted to write something evil in the MLP universe. I looked at possible characters and situations to use, and this one seemed to press just a few of the right buttons. So I wrote this up. Sorry if it's not what you want in a changelings win fic. I'd love to read one where they win and it's not all terrible like everybody had thought. That would be a bunch of fun in a different way.

I think most of the "changelings win" stories are dark and death and stuff because the authors are people like me who want to write that sort of thing. Then they look at possible situations. "Well, I could have Celestia being evil already, but it would be so much more fun to have changelings corrupt things. Discord would be good, but how the heck am I going to write him? Let's go with changelings for now and maybe tackle that later..."

My story is not plausible if you're going with 100% cannon. Most fan stories aren't except a select few that read like an episode. Certainly not any "clop" story.

So yeah. I wanted to write a bad thing and I picked Chrysalis to convey it. That's why it's what it is. Maybe I picked a bad name for it. I'm definitely regretting it as I go because I have more story I want to write and it's not as fun if Chrysalis never messes up.

I do honestly appreciate criticism though. Thanks for taking the time to type that out. When I'm done playing with this maybe I'll write a clean one. I'm currently fascinated by changelings.

I was seriously tempted to just write "I completely agree" and leave it at that, but I figured you'd think I was messing with you if I did that.

*Edited for grammar and spelling.

Now you made me want to write a fic of Badass Luna saving the day.

"You'd you know a pony after an eon of being Goddesses together." < Add think in there? Oh well. Just saw that error. Now to continue reading!

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If she were competent she would have won and there would be no series three.
but i do agree she was the most competent of the villains. and the leaderboard looks like this...

Chrysalis
Discord
Nightmare Moon
Trixie [antagonist not villain]
The parasprites
Diamond dogs
Diamond Tiara - Silver spoon [evil Sh**`s]
King Sombre

Did i miss anypony?

EDIT maybe to say she`s incompetant is too mean but still pretty dumb. a good quality for a villain is paranoia, suspect EVERYONE of being dangerous! dont even let sweetie bell in the kitchen near the knives in case she leads a coup

hmmm, seems kinda believable, not totally convinced but...

"Princess, I think my headache is coming back, I'm sorry."

"Shh... It's O.K. Twilight. I told you I was here to help you heal as much as you're here for me. Relax, I'm going to cast another healing spell on you. It'll make you feel all better again."

Twilight felt the mare bend her head down and put her horn on Twilight's forehead. She quickly felt the now familiar magic coursing through her.

CHRYSALIS YOU LYING BITCH!

"This ones a bit longer dear, it was a gift from Cadence. She's secretly a dirty mare. Are you ready?"

Why did you have to put it like that?! EVIL!

Well, not as bad as the last one. I ran away to the safer climbs of FIMfiction after that one for about 2 weeks. There was no cruelty greater than that infliction.

This is brilliant.

I used to like you, Chrysalis D:

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Cozy glow
Tirek