From the Flames in the Firelight

by Snowybee

1 - Always The Same

The Tantabus itself was a work of art. Nay, the creature itself was the artist. I created it to catalogue pressing or unique nightmares. To create reminders of the despair my subjects faced. The younger princess tried to understand the forces at work behind the Tantabus the weeks following its… rogue episode. The thing dressed itself up in the canvases which it created, then continued to leech energy from its victims, including myself, until it nearly destroyed all of Equestria.

So, Twilight Sparkle asked: how? How could it be so powerful? She thought it strange that a mere magical construct could stray so drastically. It was no mere construct. It was simply another piece of my shattered mind. A part of me, given a single purpose by me.

Punishment.

Though I dearly, desperately wished for release, I could not bring myself to allow even the smallest chance that I could turn my head from all the ugliness in the world. All the pain my selfishness caused. All the suffering in my absence. The guilt would have driven an intact mind to insanity. Fortunately, my mind had already fallen to pieces, and I could use those pieces as I saw fit.

One does not simply attain a mastery of dream magic by being healthy in the head.

This leads me to an odd occurrence that happened late last night. I perhaps felt segregated from my mortal subjects because of my bizarre mind. To be able to peel away the complex layers of an equine mind subconsciously made me a frightening companion. Only foals, in their ignorance, had a chance to overcome or oversee this fear. That, and my fellow alicorns.

My sister’s mental fortitude is such that I cannot see what she is thinking. She wears her heart on her sleeve by choice. Not one to unnerve her subjects. Twilight is still a fledgling. While I can read her like, dare I say, a book, she has her moments.

I adored my niece’s company. She had more shades of my sister than shades Twilight. I was truly surprised at the steely guise she put on at all times. Steely may seem ill-fitting of a word; a prissy, airheaded optimist surely does not carry such connotations about herself.

But I know better. I know that my sister is also aware. That mare is hiding something, just as I have in the past.

She excused herself from Shining’s birthday party early. That act alone alarmed many of her close friends. My suspicions aroused further when my sister nodded me to follow her, alone. Oh, Shining was far from pleased. I’m sure whatever distraction Celestia cooked up for him did nothing to take his focus off the issue.

As anticipated, my niece loomed over her kingdom from the bedroom balcony.

I spoke first. “Tell me what ails you, child.”

Her tail lashed. Tension ruled her shoulders. “I’m no child, auntie.”

The bite in her voice caused me to pale. The mare was the sort to build up her atmosphere; a sense of what to expect from her, in other words. The mare’s smile alone could put a room of soldiers at ease. I, as well, fell victim to her charm. The desire to experience it. The bite felt as a grievous stain on an otherwise beautiful piece.

“Do not forget the years between us.” I chuckle softly after a moment; a small smile came to mind first, but my niece refused to face me yet. “I mean no insult by it, anyways. Do you not recall our past conversations?”

She huffed. “I do, auntie.”

I stay silent in expectancy. She offers me nothing.

“Ca—”

“Why did you come here?”

“Pardon me, but that’s a very silly question. If it wasn’t me, it would have been him.”

Her feathers ruffled next. Impatience. The tension was unpleasant, and an invader threatened her tranquility. “Shining can’t fly. Celestia can’t fly faster than me. You were the only one they could send after me, and you know it. So why did you agree?”

My brow narrowed. I saw now that this was a serious issue. And with that, I readied my cards.

“I am aware of your mental state, my niece,” I uttered. Her wings flared, prompting immediate clarification. “I need not even enter your dreams to see the shadows dancing about them.”

My effort to assuage her had come too late. The boil in her chest forced her to face me, to betray her puffy eyes and trembling lip. “How can I be sure you didn't invade my privacy, dear Aunt?”

Ignorant foal. I could speak my truths to her all day and night, yet she would abandon her trust of me the moment she had reason to fear for herself. I rubbed my temples. She stuck her jaw out further. Annoyance. Bah!

My sister spoke of her and my niece’s first meeting. T’was the one and only time she said a word on the subject to me.

‘I don’t believe I’ve ever had another pony buck me in the face upon our first meeting. You know well my pride as a former earth pony, so believe me when I say I could still feel that, two weeks after. Our niece is… she’s quite the hellcat if you press her.’

“Do you mean to insult the esteem I hold for my fellow pony, my fellow alicorn and my friend?”

Her ears fold back a tad. “N-not at all. But I know Auntie Celestia has been wanting me to… and with you here, I—”

I stomped forward, prompting her to step away. “And do you mean to imply that Celestia would use me to spy on her own niece?” I gave a bitter chuckle. “Heh, and I suppose the reason you don’t trust anyone is because you just assume we’re all horrible ponies out to get you. This secret of yours surely must be more important than reason, isn’t it? You hide it like the graze on a foal’s knee. Even the open air stings it. More worried about getting into trouble with your parents than having it bandaged.”

She blinked at me. Her jaw hung open.

“Am I wrong, my niece? You tell me.”

She ground her teeth. Her eyes searched the floor. No malice was to be found there. At last, she heaved a sigh. “I'm sorry. I wanted to believe you were trivializing this, but if you knew, you never would. I guess… you didn't see anything?”

I matched those hopeful eyes with my curiosity. “To be honest, I tried to tread your dreams once. And yet, there were none.” I waved her off, at least to allow my explanation. “Only an empty nest of gross negativity, with your unconscious mind in it. Though there was nothing I could enter, I have seen the phenomenon before.”

The information proved troublesome to parse for her. I sigh. This sort of bluntness wasn’t the best course in this situation.

“You're suppressing it. Your conscious mind is doing it’s best to protect itself. What I see when I approach your sleeping soul is the result of it.”

Immediately, my niece shook her head. “Impossible. I'm just… just…”

I pressed on. “Why did you retreat from his birthday party? What reminded you?”

Her posture betrayed fear upon the utterance of that word. “I-It’s his special day. The day he was born.” A tiny little sob escaped her lips. Her eyes became distant. At that moment, my heart sank. Within that little moment, every fibre of her being felt mortal. Simple. Wonderful, yet stark. “You're g-going to outlive him, and then you'll be, you'll be—”

She clasped her mouth shut with both forehooves. The mare gagged, stumbled backwards.

My motion was quick. Both my wings braced her against my chest. I shushed her, stroked her mane. “Speak no further, my niece. Relax.”

Her compliance came muffled by my coat. Her erratic breath flowed as if she were speaking, but I could hear nothing.

Mortal. It made perfect sense, until that sensation came back to mind. I understood her fear of outlasting her loved ones. Truly, I did. I closed my eyes, then nuzzled the poor creature. I spoke slowly and softly.

“My niece. I know you are frightened. I know today only serves as a reminder.”

Before I could form my next thought, her hoarse voice interrupted. “B-but I must face it. I can't hide from my fears.”

I nodded eagerly. “This is the truth.”

Her wings shifted once more. “It’s the way of Perfection. All pegasus warriors of the past sought perfection in themselves, even if it was impossible.”

I blinked. I could not help my confusion. Perhaps she derived inspiration from that bit of history? Or, perhaps…

“Tell me, were you—”

“Yes,” she answered. The bite from before returned for that single word, and soon faded for the last time. “”Yes, I was. I wasn’t raised by pegasi, however. I dove into our history soon after Auntie Celestia took me under her wing. I needed to know of our people, more than anything else in the world.”

Her situation began to clear up. I dreaded delving deeper. What I thought of this mare turned on its head in a matter of moments. Speech eluded me. I could feel her eyes scanning my face. Perhaps she saw a question that was not there.

“Why did I become obsessed? Is that what you’re wondering?” Her silken locks swayed with each motion of her head as she reached for my emotions. I merely watched, hypnotized by her mane almost.

“Yes,” I whispered. Perhaps it was best to parrot what she wanted. I feared forcing such a delicate matter.

To my disappointment, she tossed her mane back. Her throat bobbed. Her lips puckered. Fear itself crept into the mare, sly enough to elude all detection. “I c-can’t remember it, Auntie Luna. I don’t want to.”

I closed my eyes and hummed out. “I understand now. I only have one solution to offer.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Spit it out. Don’t string me along.”

Despite myself, I winced. “Of course. The only method I have felt safe in applying in such situations was to ‘compress’ the afflicted’s mind. To force the conscious and unconscious to meet, so that dreams could no longer be obscured by any mental blocks.”

She cocked her head. Yet, her eyes didn’t lose any edge. “I’m going to trust that this would work. What’s the catch then?”

“I cannot see into the dream. Should anything go wrong, I would have no way of helping, and you could not tell me to stop. Your dreams could permanently edge on being invasive, for their vividness would become excessive.” Her internal deliberations battled across her face. I took a deep breath. “And that is all I know. It’s all I have seen thus far, in any case. The risks are effectively unknown.”

After a good few minutes, my niece stood up. Her eyes danced in a frenzy all the while, and she paced back and forth. I kept still, as a bystander. It cast helplessness upon me. Necessary, but still aggravating. She whipped about to face me. Uncertainty was all that rolled off her. The mare eyed me from down her snout. Power in those eyes… I had never seen such a look on the mare before. Though her legs trembled, she held her head high.

Clearly, this mare was deluded. I had only known her for less than a year, but somehow… she felt safety in confiding to me. The trappings of fear still possessed her, but the mask had been peeled away, all for this one answer.

“Do it.”

Author's Note:

Well, this was pretty fun to churn out. I actually wrote the whole story as one big one shot (~17k), but advice from my friends compelled what you see here. Just go with the flow, and thank you for reading.

Comments

[Kairee]

Looking forward to more. I like the premise.

[Snowybee]

6876349

Glad this is so! I think it'll go some pretty neat places, as long as you go with the flooow.