Tiara in the Rough

by Locomotion

Chapter 11: Bye-Bye, Boarding School

Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Lickety-Split, Button Mash and the Crusaders watched anxiously as the red-furred teenager walked out into the corridor and stopped in front of Nick Shilling. The brown colt leered at him, but Locomotion bravely stood his ground.

“Alright, you,” demanded Nick, “where is she?!”

“If you're looking for that pink-furred wimp, you won't find her here,” said Locomotion calmly. “She's already sneaking past you as we speak – by the time you break into here, she'll be well on her way out of this concentration camp!”

Diamond Tiara was confused – but all became clear as Rumble and Tornado Bolt, quickly taking Locomotion's hint, grabbed her by the arms and flew her out of the classroom, while Perry and Scootaloo followed with Silver Spoon. By telling them something he knew they wouldn't believe, the teenaged railway enthusiast was buying her more than enough time to slip through their net and make good her escape.

Nick sneered dismissively. “What a load of horse-apples! That little shrimp doesn't even have the strength to lift a hoof, let alone out-run us! And what gives some twerp like you the right to talk such trash about our school?!”

“School, you call it?” reproached Locomotion smugly. “It's nothing but a borstal if all you creeps can be bothered to do is beat the stuffing out of whoever you don't like. Now, if it were Ponyville, you wouldn't find the students acting like wannabe gangsters there.”

“And what would some Trottingham upstart know about a dump like Ponyville?”

“Oh, an upstart, am I?” smirked Locomotion. “Well then, as the ringleader of these miscreants, would you be obliged to tell me how old you are?”

“Why should you wanna know, limey?” snorted Nick.

“Just answer the question, pal!” As if to make himself clear, Locomotion leaned in towards the brown colt's face, his broad smirk refusing to fade.

“About eleven and a half.”

“AHA!” announced Locomotion triumphantly. “Thirteen last April! And there are a few other things you should know about me too,” he went on, drawing back from Nick, but never once allowing him to get a word in edgeways. “Firstly, if you thought that only the city ponies were the clever ones, you're hardly typical yourselves. Secondly, I may have been born in Trottingham, but I actually grew up in Ponyville just like your so-called 'punch-bag', so I know what I'm talking about. Finally, it's not 'limey', it's Loco.”

“I can see it would be,” taunted Gold Digger. “What makes you think you can match us if you're from some rednecks' colony, Loco?”

“Oh...a number of things.”

Nick saw a chance to claw back some ground, and leered at the red-furred colt as if he was about to make a fool of himself. “Prove it!”

“Gladly!” accepted Locomotion brashly. “Can anypony tell me how much tractive effort a 'Claud Hoofington' 4-4-0 generates?”

There was a very awkward pause.

“Anypony? No? Alright then – 17,095 pounds force! Next question – which railway companies were jointly responsible for the running of the transcontinental Friendship Express up until Nationalisation in 1989?” Again, Locomotion was met with stunned silence. “The Union Pegacific, the Coltorado Midland, the Canterlot and Southern and the Pennsylhaynia Railroad. Not doing so well so far, are we?” he replied cheekily. “Perhaps you'd understand if I asked the question in a different language?”

“What, country slang?”

“Nothing of the sort,” replied Locomotion. “So – what classy in the express passery locomotibold has the operail on the Pennsy Railwold, Canterloders, Trottinghold, Ponyville, through Fort Mainload and Fillydelphicold all the way to Manehattymost?”

Nick was so shocked that his jaw nearly dropped out of its sockets. “What......how in the hay does he know the Unwinese language?”

“Oh, perfect fundamole, my dear childers,” rambled Locomotion. “I've seen the languey televisualhold, radifole hear-it and read-y between the lino – oh, folly, folly, folly. And regardit questyho on the express passery enjifold, City Classyfold of that. Follow my meal?”

“Hang on, hang on – where do you get all this gobbledegook about trains from?” spluttered Gold Digger.

“You mean you don't know? I'm surprised at you guys!” mocked Locomotion. “I would have thought you city ponies would have known the answers, seeing as you're so clever! Just goes to show, though – until you've been hanging out with the staff of a motive power depot as long as I have, you'll never know as much as I do about trains.”

Nick shook his head wearily. “I don't know who would want to, but whatever,” he muttered, grudgingly accepting defeat. “Clear off if you must, Loco, and take your freaky redneck friends with you – see if I care.”

“I most certainly will – but don't expect me to recommend this school to any of my friends.” With that, Locomotion ambled briskly past the baffled mob with Button Mash, Lickety-Split and the remaining Crusaders following closely.

Lickety-Split laughed triumphantly. “Nicely handled, Loco,” he praised as they began to make their way down the corridor. “I've said it before, and I'll say it again – you've got one hay of a knack with bullies.”

“Don't I know it!” smirked Locomotion.

But their smugness was quickly cut short. Barely had they gone a few yards when they heard an agitated shout from the classroom where they had been just moments ago.

“What?! There's no sign of her! They've tricked us!”

Babs went pale. “Oh, darn! They've rumbled us!”

“What now?” asked Tootsie Flute.

Apple Bloom looked back towards the classroom – and then at the end of the corridor. “There's only one thing for it as far as Ah can see,” she said grimly.

“I quite agree, Bloom,” put in Locomotion. Neither he nor the rest of them had any trouble working out what she was planning to do...

“RUN!!!” they all shouted at once, and galloped down the corridor just as Nick and his goons charged out of the classroom and gave chase after them.

The group split up as soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs, Babs leading Apple Bloom, Button Mash, Sweetie-Belle, Lickety-Split and Locomotion down the other corridor, while Snowflake led Noi, Annette, Dinky, Pipsqueak, Tootsie Flute and Groovy Tango outside and around the perimeter of the campus. But Nick and his gang had anticipated this, and were already beginning to scatter in a bid to head the escapees off and reel them in, so the Crusaders were forced to dodge randomly around the campus in a bid to throw them off their trail.

This went on for over an hour, and for a while, it looked as if they had lost them. But just as they had reunited with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in the cafeteria and were about to make a dash for the front entrance, Nick Shilling and some of his followers finally caught up to them.

“Alright, Loco,” he snarled, “the game's up. You let us have Diamond Tiara, and we'll willingly let you go.”

“No deal, you idiotic two-bit bully!” snapped Locomotion defiantly. “There's no way any of us are gonna let you torment our friend to the point of suicide!”

“That's right!” bellowed Apple Bloom. “You want Diamond Tiara, y'all are gonna have ta get through us first!”

“Yeah, you creep, pack up and go home!” added Scootaloo fiercely. “Nopony hurts Diamond Tiara in front of us!”

Nick's eyebrow twitched, and for a split second, Diamond Tiara could have sworn that she had seen a vein beginning to bulge under his mane. “You mind your lip, you brat,” he threatened, “or you're gonna need to sort out insurance policy!”

“You already need to sort something out, buddy – your manners!”

“Too right!” added Rumble, infuriated by how this thuggish colt was treating his fillyfriend. “Call yourself posh?! You're an utter fraud, that's what you are, acting like you're so much better than us – heck, the way you behave, you might as well be out on the street and living off the garbage! It's what you deserve for what you did to Snowflake and Sunflower and our Diamond Tiara!”

Nick flew into a rage. “RIGHT! THAT'S IT!!” he screamed out loud, and lunged at the Crusaders – only to ram head-first into another of Locomotion's protective forcefields and rebound straight into the other students, knocking them over like a set of bowling pins. He rubbed the side of his head, and was infuriated to feel blood seeping from a small cut.

“What's all this?!” demanded a haughty voice. Locomotion, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, Button Mash, Lickety-Split, the Crusaders and the students turned around to see a tall, pale cyan unicorn approaching them from behind. Her mane and tail were a mix of different shades of purple, and she wore a black mortarboard, a deep fuchsia pince-nez, and an expensive-looking dark blue suit jacket which partially obscured the abacus on each flank. Judging by her appearance, the Crusaders guessed that this had to be Principal Cinch in person.

“It was that Diamond Tiara filly, miss!” burst out Nick before anypony could say anything. “She's been calling us all sorts of rude names!”

“I might have known it!” Principal Cinch marched up to Diamond Tiara and glared daggers at her. “I don't know how you Ponyville folks are expected to behave, but I do not approve of all this tomfoolery in my school!” she scolded.

“Here we go again!” grunted Locomotion derisively. “Blaming somepony just because of their origins and not properly investigating into the matter! See here, 'your ladyship', if you're the headmistress of this school, I think you ought to know that it's not as perfect as you might think it is.”

Principal Cinch spun round upon him indignantly. “I beg your pardon?! Let me tell you, you impertinent...”

“No – let me tell you, you snobbish bigot, that by focussing your favour towards the poshest Manehattanite students, you've gone and added huge mounds to a formerly level playing field!” interrupted Locomotion sharply. “Diamond Tiara here could have had every opportunity at this place, and both you and your students have disgraced yourselves by not making her feel welcome here – much like you did to Snowflake and Sunflower Seed! Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that they'd been trying to make her feel bad about herself just so she would leave!” he added, glowering pointedly at Nick Shilling.

“What are you talking about?!” blustered Nick defensively. “I wasn't the one who told the others what she had been...”

“I've heard it all before,” snorted Locomotion. “Gallivant round the school, make up all sorts of names to make her look bad, and then tell everypony you heard it from her – very clever, Shilling, but it doesn't work on me.”

Nick was shocked. How could some stupid redneck have caught onto his plan so easily? “You...y-y-you mean you...don't...?”

“Certainly not, Nick!” asserted Locomotion. “No Ponyville resident would be as mean as that! Anyway, aren't you forgetting something?” He paused impressively. “A certain princess who presides over the Friendship Council resides there, need I remind you?”

“What, Princess Twilight Sparkle?!” exclaimed one of the other students in horror.

At last, Diamond Tiara saw a chance to strike back. “Yeah, that's the one – and you thought I was just a useless redneck!” she sneered as she walked up to the brown colt, Principal Cinch hot on her heels. “Just you wait till my friends get home – you won't be so big then, and neither will the rest of your gang!”

“Nor will you, Cinch!” added Silver Spoon sharply. “As soon as we get home, you'll be hearing from the Board of Education about this!”

Nick snarled angrily. “Laugh all you want, Diamond!” he shot back. “I don't care how rich your parents are – they'll never believe your stupid story about this place!”

“Nor will the Board believe you lot once Twilight gets to hear about this,” retorted Tootsie Flute firmly.

“You wouldn't dare...”

“Oh yeah?! And who's gonna stop us?” argued Locomotion. “Do your worst, Nick Shilling, but the truth will out sooner or later.”

“No!” snapped Principal Cinch. “I will not have anypony ruining the reputation of Liberty Hall Preparatory School! Diamond Tiara, you're on detention for the rest of the half-term!”

“Too late, Principal Cinch!” Diamond Tiara angrily turned her back on the irate unicorn. “If this is the way you treat ponies who aren't from Manehattan, then I'm through – and I don't care if I get into trouble with my Dad! As for you thugs,” she finished, “good luck on finding another school!” and she spat contemptuously on the floor in a very unladylike fashion. “Come on, you lot, let's get out of here. Maybe cool our heads off in the railway museum or something?”

Locomotion smiled approvingly. “Now that's the first sensible thing anypony's suggested for over an hour,” he agreed – and so, the seventeen fillies and colts left an infuriated Principal Cinch, a defeated Nick Shilling and more than half a hundred horrified students to brood over the fate of Liberty Hall as they made their way out of the school and across town to Locomotion's favourite part of the City of Manehattan...

Author's Note:

From Unwinese to English:

1:

“So – what classy in the express passery locomotibold has the operail on the Pennsy Railwold, Canterloders, Trottinghold, Ponyville, through Fort Mainload and Fillydelphicold all the way to Manehattymost?”

"So - which class of express passenger locomotive operates on the Pennsylhaynia Railroad from Canterlot, via Trottingham, Ponyville, Fort Maine and Fillydelphia all the way to Manehattan?"

2:

“Oh, perfect fundamole, my dear childers,” rambled Locomotion. “I've seen the languey televisualhold, radifole hear-it and read-y between the lino – oh, folly, folly, folly. And regardit questyho on the express passery enjifold, City Classyfold of that. Follow my meal?”

"Perfectly simple, my dear children. I've seen it on television, heard it on the radio and read it in books - oh deary me. And in answer to the question about express engines, it's the City Class. See what I mean?

Comments

[Locomotion]

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Well, I felt it'd make a much heavier bombshell if it waited until the final confrontation. That's largely why I had Nick Shilling and his gang baffled by an extremely specialist subject coming from a supposed "redneck" (red being Loco's fur colour) instead of revealing straight away that Twilight lived in Ponyville; basically, the Princess of Friendship defence is being used as a last resort.