This is the story of Star Shot, a young and naive Pegasus that recently had his parents killed, follow him as he searches for answers and revenge throughout the world of The Crystal Empire, a hundred year's after war created an apocalyptic tundra
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Solid but needs some spacing between paragraphs though.
You have my interest, it's an interesting story so far! Unigue, but well set into the FO:E world, if I can already judge. I like how thorough you are with all the details and events, monitoring Star's maturing - believe me, you done really well on changing a child to a grown-up
Anyway, I found out some issues and occasional typos I could talk about, I'll send them to you in a PM if you want.
Have a nice day!
-Ever