Chapter 2: First Impressions
Day: Tuesday
Weather: Sunny then Cloudy
Time: 11:35amPrincess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria, was coming to see me in order to determine if I would be worthy to enter her school for gifted unicorns. I must make a really good impression if I want to get out of this place I unfortunately call a home...
The Other Journal
By Ganondorf8
October 24, 2015
Chapter 2: First Impressions.
" Okay, so this Princess Celestia... is she the same as Principal Celestia?" Twilight asked.
" In some ways they are identical, but if you really want to know the truth... I feel that Princess Celestia has much more authority, and is far more approachable when it comes to dealing with "magical problems" alongside regular ones." I answered, looking up at the ceiling in order to avoid Twilight's gaze. " I mean, Principal Celestia is a fine woman who knows how to effectively run a school, but she does pale in comparison to my former teacher, who possessed powers you can't even begin to imagine."
" What do you mean former?" Twilight asked.
" I... I did something back then before I came to this world... something that continues to gnaw away at my heart every time I think about it. I've had nightmares where I replay that day in my mind, and wish that I could go back to prevent it from happening. For years, I blamed Princess Celestia for what happened to me, but it has since become nothing more than a pitiful excuse I use to hide my own weaknesses. I was the one who was weak! I was the one who felt entitled! I was the one who just couldn't be patient, and demanded everything to be given to me! I ruined my life, and my future Twilight! No one else! Just me!" I shouted before closing my journal, and tossing it aside where it slammed into a bookshelf with a loud thud where it dropped to the ground in a heap. I then buried my head into my hands, and began crying as though I had just lost someone very precious to me.
" Sunset..." Twilight said, looking at me with tears in her eyes, for she truly felt sorry for me. She then moved closer to me as a means of making me feel better, but I pushed her away because of not wanting her pity, but she refused to be intimidated by my actions, and wrapped her arms around my neck before squeezing me tightly. " I may not understand what happened to you back in your world, but you don't have to isolate yourself from everyone. You saw how it affected me... I was alone for a long time until you, and the others accepted me as a friend, and now I'm in a much better place." Twilight's words caused me to suddenly raise my head up where my tears flew from my face, and landed on her cheeks with tiny splashing sounds. My eyes also widened for she reminded me of the same words I said to the Sirens... I'm in a much better place... am I really though? Have I been merely lying to myself all this time? Pretending that everything is fine when in truth it wasn't?
" Twilight... I'm... I'm so sorry you had to see that outburst." I said, turning my head away in shame.
" You were holding in so much emotional stress, you just needed to vent it out on someone, and I happened to be here to take it." Twilight said. In my heart, it wasn't right of me to take out my frustration on her, for she didn't do anything wrong. No, I alone was to blame for my own mistakes, and she deserves better than this. Then, my body began acting on its own, as though my mind had been shut down, and my heart began to take over, and I wrapped my arms around Twilight's neck in order to give her a hug... yet... it wasn't a hug that I was trying to perform, but something else... something that my heart desired... was it... love!?!? No! Impossible! She is my new friend, and doing something like that might cause her to react in a negative fashion.
" Sorry about that," I said, backing away from Twilight slightly, my hands thrusting forward and shaking back and forth to indicate that nothing was wrong, my face blushing bright red with my complexion matching the red colour of my hair. Twilight just stared at me for a few moments, blinking every couple of seconds, and I felt as though I should just disappear because this had become a really awkward moment, but when she began chuckling and raising her right hand up to her mouth, my mind suddenly shattered for she was completely accepting of my actions.
" Do you feel better?" Twilight asked.
" Yeah, but I'm sorry for that sudden advance on you Twilight! I just don't know what came over me! My heart was telling me to do something, and my mind wasn't able to respond to my heart." I said before getting up, and walking over to where I had thrown the journal before picking it up. There was a slight crease on the front of it which would serve as a reminder that my temper was something I need better control over, but aside from that there was no additional damage to it. Walking back over to Twilight while holding the journal close to my chest, and with a sad expression on my face, I sat down next to her where she inched slightly closer, but not too much as she didn't want me to feel too uncomfortable, yet for a while I just sat there in complete silence, not moving an inch, like I were a statue.
" You don't have to continue reading that journal you know." Twilight said.
" I know, but I need to otherwise I'll never be able to get this frustration out of my heart. What you just saw me do when I threw my journal was just the beginning of my frustration Twilight, for there is a lot more where that will come from. While I do appreciate your concerns, I must continue on with this, and the more important thing is how you'll feel towards me, for you've only just scratched the surface that is my complicated personality." I said. Twilight's hand then placed itself on my own before rubbing it a few times as an indication that she was there for me, and my response was a soft smile before opening the journal to find the next entry.
Knowing that Princess Celestia was coming to see if I had the potential to be admitted to her "School for Gifted Unicorns", I began practicing different magic spells on my own making sure to only focus on the most powerful ones as I needed to make a good first impression. Things were going well for me, but then the bitterness in my heart that stemmed from my anger towards my parents for having ignored me all those years began to take its toll. I began to increase the potency of my magic by going beyond certain safety measures designed so that unicorns wouldn't go overboard, but my mind shut down such inhibitors. My anger began swelling up inside as though I had been set on fire, and it continued to boil within me, and manifested itself in the form of my magic becoming volatile. Eventually, it reached a boiling point where my anger exploded, and the spell which I had been trying to practice caused an explosion.
" Sunset Shimmer!" My father shouted as he burst through the door to my room, and almost knocking if off its hinges. " What happened?"
" I was trying to cast a magic spell in preparation for Princess Celestia's visit, and I guess that I ended up using a bit too much magic." I answered, making sure he didn't see my eyes turn away from him as a sign that I had just lied directly to his face.
" Coincidentally, I was coming to check up on your progress anyway dear, but when I heard and felt that explosion just now, my parental instincts kicked in, and I had to see if you were okay. Wanting to make a good first impression for Princess Celestia is fine and all, but you're still just a filly Sunset. You're not quite ready to handle more complicated spells, for that takes years of practice." My father said, trying to sound all concerned for my own well being. If he and my mother had actually taken the time to give me the proper training, encouragement, and motivation, we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now. I had to train myself to use magic, for they had been doting over my siblings, ignoring me in the process, and I was determined to be better than all of them.
" I'm sorry to have made you worry father." I said.
" Your mother and I really want you to attend the School for Gifted Unicorns, but you must show a little restraint, for magic can be difficult to control if you don't have a grasp on it which can lead to disaster." My father said, yet I ignored his words for they held no meaning to me. Why was he suddenly telling me something about magic now? Why not tell me back when I first started teaching myself? It was that kind of advice I needed from him and my mother, but they chose to focus on my siblings instead. My frustration towards my parents was slowing transforming into hatred... hatred towards them for hurting me... emotionally. I wasn't about to let them continue doing this to me, and that is why I wanted to receive my freedom. I wanted to move on with my life, and not be bogged down by a family who had no moral interest in me. " When Princess Celestia comes, just show her some of the more basic spells that you can control."
" And the stronger spells?" I asked.
" Leave those alone as I don't think you're ready for them." My father replied. Was he serious? Did he just say that I wasn't ready for them for the second time? I was ready to use such powerful magic, for my own training had been sufficient enough, yet it was my emotional state which caused the magic to explode. I had this urge to use such powerful magic on my entire family as a means of proving that I was ready! I really wanted to let them have it... but... at the last minute... my heart brought me back from the brink. I was able to pull back from committing an unforgiveable act, and yet the urge never did leave my mind. No, my heart merely quelled such desires, but one day they would return stronger than ever should I experience something that would warrant it.
" If you say so father." I said.
" Princess Celestia will be here in a matter of minutes, so I suggest that you clean yourself up, and consider what spells you wish to show her. Remember to make a good first impression, for I hear that she can be a difficult pony to please, and demands nothing short of perfection." My father said, turning around and leaving my room before closing the door behind him where I was alone once again. My mind was conflicted for I wanted to prove that I was the best by handling powerful magic, but what if my efforts weren't enough to impress the princess? What if she decides that I wasn't worthy enough? What if I'm forced to remain here in a place where my needs are constantly cast aside?
" Did you really despise your parents that much?" Twilight asked.
" When I look back on it now, my parents were trying to help me, but the emotional scars never went away Twilight. Even now, I still resent them for having ignored my potential, yet I would never want to see them get hurt. They don't deserve that at the very least." I answered, looking up at the ceiling again, and thinking about my troubled childhood. Twilight tried reaching her hand out as a means of providing comfort, but she held back due to not knowing how to understand what she had just learned, and I watched her do this out of the corner of my eye. She had every right to hesitate, for I'm nothing more than a ticking time-bomb who could explode at any moment given my temper.
" What about friends?" Twilight asked, adjusting the rim on her glasses due to them falling down slightly on her face.
" I never felt the need to make any, for they would just get in my way." I answered.
" I see." Twilight said sadly.
" These days, I completely understand friendship, and have embraced it, but back when I was a filly, I just viewed it as a pointless desire which wasn't going to help me become the best unicorn. The only thing that mattered to me back then was being the best, and that was what I strived for." I said, turning the page over where my eyes suddenly lit up due to seeing something which I thought I'd never have to see again. " This photo... my father took it the day after Princess Celestia came to our residence."
" You're smiling in that photo, but your expression seems to reek of evil." Twilight said. I sighed before turning to my friend, her face having a look of concern over what she had just seen, and I knew that I couldn't avoid answering her. If I try to change the subject, she will just keep on insisting that I explain myself... just like what happened between myself and Princess Celestia back then...
" It wasn't a smile of happiness, but rather one of relief knowing that I was on my way to becoming the best." I said.
" I take it you made a good first impression?" Twilight asked, nudging me a few times, for her curiosity compelled her to want to know more about what happened.
" Let's just say that it was a day which I wasn't about to forget any time soon, and not just because it was a chance for me to finally become free of the misery that was living with a family who ignored me. No, it was when I first met her, that I knew nothing would ever be the same again..." I answered.
Later that day, Princess Celestia arrived at my home, and my father beckoned me to come down and meet her in person. So I did, and that was when I first basked in the radiance that was the ruler of Equestria. She had this regal look about her... beauty, grace, and perhaps the most important thing as far as I was concerned, she wielded power which in turn reflected upon her authority. If Princess Celestia ever decreed it, she could have used her power and influence to make ponies do whatever she wanted, and it was the kind of power which I wanted to have of my own. But, I knew that I had to keep this desire hidden deep within my heart, for I couldn't afford to blow my one opportunity of making a good first impression.
" Greetings! You must be Sunset Shimmer!" Princess Celestia said, her voice filled with so much beauty that it actually mesmerized me for a moment.
" H-h-hello there." I said, my entire body quivering in fear because I knew what was at stake. I tried to maintain my composure, but I just couldn't in the face of the one who holds the highest authority in all of Equestria. I tried to speak some more in the hopes of at least saying my name, but my mouth refused to open, and my throat suddenly went dry most likely out of fear. I looked at my parents, and they were showing expressions of worry believing that I was ruining my dreams, yet I chose simply to ignore them for I didn't want to have their sympathy.
The princess then walked slowly towards me, her hair flowing about as though it were alive, and she pressed her muzzle up against my hair, and in an instant my nerves began to calm down. Was this one of her many powers? Why didn't she use her authority to make me relax? My brain was telling me that she was weak, but my heart was saying that she had given me affection... love... an emotion I've never really had before.
" There is no need to feel intimidated by my presence." Princess Celestia said, her words soothing every part of my being. " Your father has told me a lot about you, and how you are quite an exceptional unicorn. Granted, I was surprised when he told me that you have been studying magic on your own without any kind of help, but I suppose that some unicorns are able to learn in such a manner compared with others." I wanted to say the reason behind why I taught myself magic, but then it would have ruined my chances, for she might have suspected me of being spiteful and uncaring towards my parents which was the honest truth.
" I-I feel honoured that you came here to see me." I said, my nerves slightly receding.
" Now, we will need to go outside into the back garden so as to give you as much space as you need to perform your magic for me. Before I arrived here, I sensed a rather powerful magical burst which I suspect came from you Sunset Shimmer." Princess Celestia said, her face maintaining that same smile which made me warm inside. She was like the parent I wish that I could have had as opposed to what I received, and she was encouraging me to use my more potent magic while my father suggested for me to stick with the basics instead. It was plainly obvious to me whose advice I was going to take...
" I was practicing some magic, and I guess I got a little carried away." I said sheepishly.
" No need to apologize Sunset Shimmer, for you were trying to use powerful magic, yet your mind wasn't clear as though something were bothering you. I'm sure that you won't experience such a problem when you present your skills to me momentarily." Princess Celestia said. How did she know what was going on in my heart? How did she know about my conflicting issues with my parents? Was she psychic? For a brief moment, I felt intimidated as though she knew about my deepest thoughts, but maybe it was a lucky guess on her part, and what I felt didn't register in her mind. On the other hand, her ability to sense such things made me realize that it was a power worth trying to master at some point. If I get accepted into her school, I could potentially become her equal one day, or maybe even her superior! That would truly make me the best unicorn, and teach my parents a lesson at the same time about ignoring me instead of cherishing me.
" Do you mind if I go fetch the book I've been reading from?" I asked.
" By all means, for I want you to use what you think is most comfortable." Princess Celestia answered.
" I'll be back down in a couple of minutes." I said, racing towards my room where I began to use my magic to search for the book in question. Due to the magical explosion I caused earlier, all of my books had been scattered about, some were in piled that ended up on the other side of my room, two books were on the grass outside, a third had been reduced to ashes, and the rest were damaged beyond recovery. Seeing this with my own eyes, the hatred within me started to boil again, making me feel uncomfortable as though I could burst at any moment. My search then continued, and my frustration continued to boil... this was my parents fault! They caused this to happen! They were trying to ruin my chances for a better life! Just when I was about to have a meltdown, I discovered the book I had been reading from, and it was still intact which reduced my stress levels immensely.
" Are you sure she should use more powerful magic?" My father asked Princess Celestia, all while I was trying to find my book.
" She does have much potential as you said, and I for one would like to see her use her full power." Princess Celestia answered.
" But, I fear that she may lose control given what happened." My father said, his voice sounding fearful.
" Sunset Shimmer does possess... emotional baggage which usually stems from one's own surroundings, but there is nothing to worry about. We will soon discover whether or not she is ready for such an important commitment such as attending my school for gifted unicorns." Princess Celestia said before turning her head to see me walking towards her with my book floating in front of me courtesy of my magic. " I see that you have found your book, so now let's see what you are capable of." We all headed outside to the garden where I was told to go to the center in order to have enough room to use my magic.
I first looked at my parents, whose worried looks were meant to tell me that I should stick with the basic spells, and not use any of the complex ones. Just looking in their eyes made me sick to my stomach, for they wanted me to fail... I just knew it! " Whenever you are ready to showcase your talents Sunset Shimmer, but take your time as no one is forcing you to anything you don't want to do." Princess Celestia said, her words forcing me to turn to face her where my eyes opened wide with excitement. She had just given me her blessing, and here I was feeling angry and spiteful, but her words had calmed me down completely, and my innate fear transformed into confidence.
" I'm ready." I said boldly.
" Then you may begin." Princess Celestia said, closing her eyes and raising her hoof.
" Be amazed at what you're about to witness!" I shouted, arrogance seeping forth from my body due to wanting to prove myself worthy. I immediately decided to go with a complex magic spell as I wanted to show my best work, and when I performed the proper incantation, the magic that projected from my horn was unlike anything anyone had seen before. Even I was in awe over what I had just done, yet the important thing was that I maintained control over it by being calm... cocky, but calm for I chose to show off my skills by being creative which made my parents recoil in sheer fear, and deep down I was loving every moment of it. My magic swirled about, shattered into pieces, produced fireworks, shimmered across the sky, caused plants to grow, and even produced a small rainbow before I wrapped it up with a big finale where it all came together, and exploded in a beautiful fashion before I turned to face my audience with a proud look on my face.
" Most impressive." Princess Celestia said, her hooves clasping together which was the sign that she thouroughly enjoyed the performance. " Your father was indeed right about you Sunset Shimmer, and what you have displayed for me today proves that you are worthy to attend my school for gifted unicorns. I suggest that you start packing your things, for I shall be returning tomorrow to pick you up as I wish for you to stay in the castle, for I believe you need a different environment in order to curb... certain tendencies. I also want to watch your progress closely Sunset Shimmer, for you may become worthy to be my protege." Princess Celestia said. I couldn't believe it! She accepted me as being worthy, and now I'm finally moving up in the world! This was just the beginning for me as I desired to become the very best no matter what!
" That must have been the happiest day of your life." Twilight said.
" Being admitted to her school was seen as the ultimate dream of unicorn fillies, and I had been one of those who got to see her dream come true, yet sometimes I wish that she could have told me to wait a year before allowing me to attend." I said, slumping forward slightly as I turned the page.
" Why would you have wanted that?" Twilight asked.
" Princess Celestia believed I was ready for the school, but the school wasn't ready for me." I answered.
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6557501
Chapter 2 is up right now, and I'll be adding Chapter 3 within the next few days which is probably going to be shorter than the previous two as I need to set up the events of "The Fall of Sunset Shimmer". I am including the Equestria Girls comics into this story mainly because of what Sunset did in those, yet the "Equestria Girls" comic in the 2013 annual will be touched on briefly as Sunset only appears in the one panel of that one.
Still an enjoyable chapter. I'd like to once more raise the issue of the flow of dialogue. Simply put, it's way too formal to sound natural, using the conjunction "for" far more than necessary. I think the oddly formal dialogue is best demonstrated here:
I'm having a hard time believing that anyone, let alone a young adult, would speak like that, especially the latter clause of the sentence. The formality really only makes sense with Celestia, since she's royalty. Other than with her, though, I suggest making the dialogue more informal. Try saying the dialogue out loud to see if it sounds good, because right now, it sounds weird.
Other than that, though, I enjoyed what I read. I can't wait until we get through her origin story and get to her relationship with the others.
6568453
You do bring up a valid point, and I agree that I'm using the word "for" far too often, so I'll cut back on it for the next chapter. I read the quote from the chapter you provided... it really didn't sound all that good to me. Glad to see you're enjoying it though.
6569249
It will really become Sunset oriented once we get into "The Fall of Sunset Shimmer", and what she does in the human world.
6571169 I'd also like to add onto icecream's point, in that they're also incredibly verbose.
A lot of that comes from the formality already mentioned, but there were a lot of times I'd find myself only reading the first part of a sentence and it'd still be a full and complete thought.
Still though, I'm definitely enjoying this so far. Partially because it's nice to see a Sunset that isn't an orphan
6571169 I'm glad you saw my points, and I am indeed enjoying the story.
6572256
Surprisingly, I've actually applied icecreammac's advice to my main story, "The Legend of Sunset Shimmer: Majora's Mask", and it makes certain sentences flow a lot better without the use of the word "for" in that context. The reason why I went with her having a family is because she mentions is in the Holiday 2014 special in the comics when Applejack asks her about how she spends the holidays.
I originally was going to have her parents treat her cruelly, but I went against that as it would have been too unrealistic, so I went with them ignoring/neglecting her instead.
I've said this before but this is very much turning into the story that explores one thought I've had regarding Sunset - that she may be truly mentally ill. In this story she's been shown as having elements of paranoia in her behaviour patterns
That set aside, I do like how you portray young!Sunset's behaviour. It's interesting that there is no one 'smoking gun' or glaring incident of abuse. Rather, it's a steady drip-drip of small matters over many years on top of possibly an existing neurochemical disorder that slowly drove her into something bordering on a psychopathic behavioural disorder.
6576861
All of these small events are leading up to the first big one which is what was seen in "The Fall of Sunset Shimmer" where her life completely changes, yet I'm going to go into more depth than the comic as I feel that (the comic) didn't really go that far enough. There is a strong sense of paranoia inside her heart as Sunset is constantly worried about how Science Twilight is going to react, and this is going to be tested once we get to the more... "interesting" aspects of Sunset's life.
I was going to go with the family abuse angle, but when I read what I wrote down later, I didn't like it, and changed it to where she was simply ignored which results in her wanting to be the best as a means of proving her parents wrong.
Liked this chapter too. I did flinch a bit at the shipping, but I can put up with it.
I really loved how you portrayed Celestia. You really made her feel like a powerful regal being.