• Member Since 15th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 14th, 2014

Lightning_Colt


T

Lighting is just an ordinary Pegasus from Hoofington, except he has a strange family history which he cannot hold up, all Pegasi in his family are forbidden to fly and they are all carpenters! However, Lighting is one Pegasus that cannot be kept on the ground forever. When he defies the rules his family have laid down he crashes into a cyan coloured and rainbow maned Pegasus and little does he know that meeting this Pegasus will change his life and his destiny.


This is my first fanfic so please be nice! I might include a cover picture at some point, if anyone would like to make a cover picture for me that would be awesome! (I can't draw to save my life), don't be afraid to pm me about the details! All comments are welcome! Will include other character tags as the story progresses but the current ones are just to keep you guys interested for whats to come!
please comment on your thoughts of the story, I would love to get your feedback on what you like, what you don't like, what you think could be improved etc, it would help a great deal!

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 39 )

I LOVE WHERE THIS STORY IS GOING!!!:rainbowdetermined2::rainbowderp::rainbowwild::rainbowlaugh::rainbowkiss:

It's very distracting how some sentences start with capital letters and others don't (specifically in conversations). Also, add spaces between the paragraphs, it's just a little bit easier to read.

Other than that, very interesting concept, looking forward to where it goes. Keep 'em comin'!

677901 Rectified! Sorry about that, when I'm typing fast I tend to make mistakes and Word isn't really the best at catching grammatical errors!

cant wait for the next chapter :twilightsmile:

oh my dont let his parents die whens the next chapter can wait? :twilightsmile:

SAD :fluttershbad: :fluttershyouch: :fluttercry: why so sad cant wait for the next :twilightsmile:

Maybe he will run into Fancy Pants. I hope.:twilightoops:

thank you to everyone who has commented so far you guys get a pinkie smile :pinkiehappy:
to future readers: please comment on your thoughts of the story I would love to get your feedback on what you like, what you don't like, what you think could be improved etc, it would help a great deal!

*Done reading*
Well... shit :fluttercry:

Ouch:applejackunsure: wonder what happens next:rainbowderp: keep it up:twilightsheepish:

oh what the hell lightning whats with you and crashing into ponies? :twilightangry2:

1215042

in time my dear jamaca in time, every thing will come to light

Hmm, I'm not a big fan of how you did Zecora's lines. Breaking them up like that looks awkward when juxtaposed with the rest of the narrative. I would recommend either separating them out entirely, with extra line-breaks before and after the lines (but not between them), or just biting the bullet and just writing them straight into the paragraph like they were regular dialogue.

whens the next on gonna be done

really good keep it up and uz canz have allz minez internetz and flutter-cuddles :yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:

why hoof meet face?

Now I'm a bit confused:rainbowhuh: guess I have to wait for the next chapter:eeyup:

1527511

hey Starrat what seems to be confusing? Maybe i can help with some alterations or just clarification?

1528083nothing just wondering what happened to everypony:eeyup:

changeling applejack?

um i think applejack saw something or heard something that made her the way discord made her in season 2

damn cliff-hanger i hate cliff-hangers and awesome story and first

Can i kick the speakers ass?

fuck you author and your suspenseful cliff-hangars they are to good
love the story though great job

Please tell me you've got a sequel planned... :raritystarry:

2922642 i absolutely agree with his/her comment because i hate cliff-hangers

Please tell me you're at least making a Sequel, because I (And I'm sure I'm not the only one) absolutely hate cliff hangers like this.

4295926
YOU CAN'T END THE STORY LIKE THIS! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH HAPPY ENDINGS!?

9961566
There is a start of a sequel for what it is worth

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