Twilight Sparkle is writing a book about "Dream Realm Destroia," or simply DRD. However, in the midst of recollecting her dreams, The Princesses summon her for an adventure to someplace, with the Mane 6. With them arriving at DRD, meeting their Soiras (will be explained) and Twilight getting new magic, will they survive? Also, can they escape before something goes terribly wrong?
Alt Description:
Attempting to create a fictional story, Twilight Sparkle uses her dreams as a base. Little did she know that another copy existed, and the world isn’t fictional. After arriving on a familiar yet strange beach, she learns that Princess Celestia has something far more planned for the harmony of the worlds.
Book 1 of 19
The Journal of Fredrick Arc
Chapters (14)
NEVER use parenthesis. Write it out so that it flows with the story. Also the last part of the paragraph is confusing. How about this?
Their navigator and leader, Twilight Sparkle, was staring right at the tornado that was obstructing their path. She peered over the edge and looked straight down at the sea, something that their shy pegasus friend Fluttershy hated to do. While their rainbow maned friend was struggling with the tornado, Twilight decided to tie a rope to her body, to the balloon, and then jumped.
"As he came" Woah Twilight, he's only a baby. How about a better approach, use:
“Spike, anything new in Ponyville?” Twilight asked as he walked up to her. “Any letters?”
Due to customs it would more likely be:
“Hmm.” Spike looked at the closed book and burped out a letter. “Speak of the discord, here’s a letter from Princess Celestia.”
About the part where Celestia writes a letter to Twilight, the first part of the letter should be centered left, like it is. The main body of the poem should be centered in the middle, and the last part should be centered right. Example
Left (Already correct)
Dear Twilight Sparkle, Then add a space between the two lines
Then center this part
I know you are currently busy in your studies in friendship, but can I ask you one simple request? I need you to head towards Horseshoe Bay with your friends. I will be supplying more directions as soon as you arrived.
Then keep the space between the paragraphs and center this part to the right
Your mentor,
Princess Solar Celestia. Then for the "PS" center it left again, like the first part
PS: The book is needed. Bring it with you.
Slight typos, should change to:
“I guess it split into two,” Twilight hypothesized, freeing herself from Rarity’s slightly suffocating hug.
Ooooh dear that was painful to read, this part seriously needs to be changed. Lemme see... How about change it to:
The two finally noticed Fluttershy.
"Whats going on Twilight?" She asked, unsure of the situation that was at hoof.
"We're in Dream Realm Destroia Fluttershy! That's whats going on!" Twilight replied, nervousness clear in her voice.
"B-but Twilight... If that's true then we're..."
"We're what dear? You must speak up." Rarity said, shifting nervously at the her timid friend's reaction.
"Well, if that's true, then how are we in Dream Realm Destroia? I thought we can only visit this place by going to sleep?”
Then you can leave the ellipses to Twilight panicking.
What is this a crossover of?
7313766 Well, there's Elements of Star Wars, and the next chapters will have Undertale, Harry Potter, and Zootopia characters.
And also the Doctor. He and Twilight are basically the true Protagonists.