- Member Since 14th Feb, 2015
- offline last seen February 12th
Dandereshy
I write sins, not tragedies. Patreon so I can continue doing... whatever it is I do.
Dandereshy
Joined 14th Feb, 2015 ·
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Not exactly too good at improvisation is he.
There's gonna be some awkward questions once the wanted poster makes its way down to Ponyville...
The irony of that statement.
It's an interesting story so far. I'm definitely intrigued. I'll warn you against rushing the romance part as it turns a lot of people off when two characters who have just met suddenly decide they love each other over a very short period of time. You're pushing it a bit with Emerald's inner monologue, but that can be dismissed as him crushing hard on the first pony to show him genuine kindness in a while, especially after the ordeal he's been through.
Speaking from a plot perspective, you should probably make sure you have your priorities, and his, in order. Emerald is a thief who just fled from Canterlot with stolen contraband. You've already established that his name and picture are in the paper and it's probably not going to be long before some wanted posters or the like, and the ponies looking for him too, find their way to Ponyville...if they haven't already. He's not exactly in a position to be looking for love beyond some wishful thinking is all that I'm saying.
Seeing as you've introduced him as a somewhat experienced and competent thief, as a character, he should probably be aware of these facts, which can work to your advantage as it works to up the level of difficulty for him and Fluttershy to bond when he's, more or less, using her cottage as a hideout for the time being, knowing that he could have to bail at any moment if the wrong ponies catch on to the fact that he's staying there. Fluttershy is a fairly good choice, as it's established that she lives on the outskirts of town and doesn't really engage much with other ponies outside her circle of friends, which works for him a little bit, but Fluttershy's friends (Twilight in particular) are going to have a much more up-to-date knowledge of current events, including Celestia posting a huge reward on him.
Just a few things to keep in mind as you continue to write. Otherwise, good luck.
6538757
Yes, he hadn't thought to at least make a legitimate alias.
It's only going to get worse.
You're saying it doesn't happen...?
Just kidding (not really). But seriously, I did consider that, so you'll just have to wait and see how things turn out.
We all cope with stress differently.
Foreshadowing...
Well, I hope I can continue to "intrigue" you with this story. I'll try to keep you and all my readers entertained now and in the near future. Thanks for the advice, too.
Right, to judge...
I declare that you need more words.
That is all.
Also... slow down a bit. Its going to be hard for people to keep up later on if ya go this fast. Just saying.
That is all.
You know...for an archeologist...this guy isn't very bright. Those are not exactly the qualities you should be spelling out to a pony who frequently engages in violent activities and would benefit quite a bit from unlimited power and invulnerability. I'm guessing he's not gonna last very long.
6606336
All part of the irony, my friend. All part of the irony...
Well...that escalated quickly. I smell a set-up.
6649668
How did you know that? 
You're gonna spoil all the fun!
You must be a wizard.
What's a BOLO?
6650554
Be On the LookOut
6651159 And how is the cover art a vector?
7495583
I drew the picture on paper, copied it and sent the digital copy to Jdbener, who used vectoring software to vector it.
Are you any good at drawing Equestria Girls style humans and armor?
7776185
Unfortunately not.
Emerald Rain gave up already?
7778594
Well, he is facing some pretty unfair odds. He'll end up losing a magic battle with Sombra if he tries to fight him that way. So yeah, he's done.
7778607 Wow. That was too quick in my opinion. There got to be a away to beat King Sombra.
7778617
Well, I've still got... 5 chapters to finish in the next few weeks, before New Year's. Stick around if you want to see if he changes his mind.
7778636
Ok.
**Reads the ending part three more times***
As Rainbow Dash would say, ahem....ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!!!!!
7880824
Heh.
So, does that mean it was good?