There is Always Some Madness in Love
“Horseon's Choice,” Twilight read from the textbook in front of her. She flicked a glance upwards. “Can you tell me what that is?”
Pinkie Pie swallowed her lemon cake and tapped her chin. “Um... is that the thing where you tell somepony they have two choices, but one of the choices doesn’t actually exist?”
“Exactly!” Twilight said. “The illusion of choice. Can you give me an example?”
Pinkie spent another moment thinking before saying, “It's like if I walked into a grocery store, and the only things they sold were cake and brussels sprouts!”
“Not exactly,” Twilight said. “You'd still have two choices in that situation.”
“Huh? No I wouldn't!” Pinkie said, grabbing the last slice of lemon cake from the dish beside them. “Brussels sprouts aren’t a choice. They’re, like, barely even a food!”
Twilight rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same. She opened her mouth to respond—but her words were smothered by a long yawn. “Augh,” she groaned, rubbing her eyes. “How long have we been at this?”
“Five hours, fifty-seven minutes, and twenty-four seconds!” Pinkie said, mouth full. She frowned and looked away. “No, wait... thirty-four seconds!”
“In other words: a long time,” Twilight said, chuckling. She polished off her cake and closed the textbook. “I hate to stop all the fun, but it's getting pretty late. I think it may be time to draw this study session to a close.”
Pinkie Pie threw her head into the air and let out an annoyed groan. “Already? But it’s barely even midnight! It’s so early!” Shaking her head, Twilight grabbed the textbook and went to go reshelf it.
It had been a month since Twilight’s twenty-first birthday party, and a month since Pinkie Pie had asked Twilight if she could help the party pony study. When asked what she wanted to learn, Pinkie had been quick to answer: “Everything.” So the two had set to work almost immediately, meeting up for hours every night to read, talk, and eat cake.
Twilight put the textbook away and gazed back at her student with a gleam in her eye. Pinkie had taken to the material with ease, tearing through textbooks faster than candy wrappers. What would take scholars days to understand took Pinkie mere minutes; weeks, mere hours. How she did it Twilight couldn’t understand—but, then again, she didn’t claim to understand much about Pinkie. All Twilight knew was that being with Pinkie was the highlight of her day.
As Twilight walked back to the desk, locking eyes with Pinkie as she moved, a warmth bloomed in her chest and spread through her body. Twilight faltered for a moment, caught off guard by the unfamiliar—but not uncomfortable—feeling.
“Are you okay?” Pinkie asked. “You look like your brain just went kablam!”
Twilight sat down and managed a smile. “I’m fine. I could have sworn I had gotten rid of that draft, though…”
“Thanks again for helping me out with all this,” Pinkie said. “It's so cool studying with you! After all, what other teacher lets me eat lemon cake while studying?”
“No use learning on an empty stomach, I always say.” Twilight stacked their empty cake dishes. “And besides, it gives me an excuse to get rid of some of the leftover birthday cake that’s still around from last month. It’s amazing that it’s still fresh, but I’ve already caught Spike trying to sneak slices out of the fridge twice, and you know how he gets when he has sugar before bed.”
Pinkie giggled and nodded. “I just wish I had some way to repay you. I know you’re super-duper busy, and I hate to take up your time like this—”
Twilight shot up a hoof, silencing her friend. “There’s no reason to feel guilty, Pinkie. I love teaching; especially when my students are as attentive as you.” She floated the cake tray over to a nearby cart, and cast a spell to send it speeding off to the kitchen. “And besides, you do favors for me all the time! I mean, who was the one who arranged that big surprise party for me, and managed to get my entire family and all of my friends from Canterlot to come?”
“Ooh!” Pinkie threw her hoof into the air. “I know, I know! Over here!” She waited for Twilight to nod before putting a hoof over her heart and saying, “Me?”
Twilight grinned. “Very good, my young pupil.”
“Yessss!” Pinkie cheered, pumping her hoof. In a moment, however, her eyes grew soft. “But it’s like you said: I did that as a favor, not as payment. There’s gotta be some way to… oh, I know!”
“Really, Pinkie, you don’t have to—oof!”
Twilight found herself thrown to the floor as Pinkie leaped across the table and tackled her in a hug. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Pinkie cheered as she tightened her grip on Twilight, pressing their cheeks together until Twilight was sure they would merge into one. “You’re the nicest most sweetest princess ever!”
The two rolled around the floor, a single multicolored mass of hooves and hair and feathers. Twilight resisted at first, tried to break free—but soon stopped struggling. Pinkie’s coat was soft against Twilight’s body. It reminded her of a silken blanket; the kind royals wrapped themselves in on cold nights.
But as they stopped in the middle of the floor, Twilight found herself caught in something no royal could ever own: Pinkie’s eyes. Bright, innocent blue pierced Twilight’s soul and sent that unfamiliar warmth spinning through her body. The scent of sweetest sugar wafted from Pinkie’s skin, twirling through the air and washing over Twilight like a wave.
And as Pinkie leaned down, the thick curls of her mane brushing against Twilight’s burning cheeks, Twilight felt her heart break into a gallop. Closer and closer Pinkie came, until their hot breaths mixed, until all Twilight could see, could think about was pink—
Pinkie snort-laughed. “You’re cute when you get hugged!”
Twilight’s mouth hung for a moment before her eyes snapped wide and she scrambled to her hooves. She searched for words, but her throat had gone dry. Both wings stuck up stiff.
“There’s my payment, m’lady!” Pinkie bowed. “One patented Pinkie Pie Bear Hug™! That should make us equal.”
Twilight blinked a few times before her face screwed up into a grin. “That definitely makes us equal. Thank you.”
Pinkie gave a small cheer before jumping into the air, flying ten feet, and landing square back in her seat. “So, what are we gonna learn tomorrow? Math? Science? Dendropyrochronology?!”
“We’ve still got a hundred years of philosophy to get to before that. We still have to talk about Haycart!” Twilight sat back down, trying—and failing—to fold her wings. “You know, it’s really great that you’re making an effort to learn all of this, Pinkie. Not many ponies are interested in things like philosophy and psychology, but you’ve picked it up so quickly! I guess an imagination as durable as yours is pretty well suited to all this, huh?”
“I just like the funny names,” Pinkie said. “Like Neightzsche! What kind of silly name is that?”
“I think it's Germane,” Twilight said. “But seriously, if you don't mind me asking: why all the sudden interest in such advanced fields of study? I don't suppose you're planning on going back to school, are you?”
“Nah. I already have my PhD in Party Science—why would I need another?” Pinkie shook her head. “I have my reasons. It's kind of a secret, though.”
Twilight's ears pricked up. “A secret?”
“Yep!” Pinkie took a few quick glances around the room before smirking and leaning forward. “Do you wanna hear it?”
Twilight shrugged. “Why not? I did ask, after all.”
Pinkie's smirk only grew wider. She darted a few more glances around, then motioned for Twilight to come closer. Pinkie leaned into Twilight's ear and whispered: “I’m in love!”
The words crawled down Twilight’s spine like spiders. “In love?” she spluttered. “And you're learning all this to, what, impress somepony?”
“Yeppers!” Pinkie chirped. “She's super-duper smart. She might be the smartest mare in the world! She even went to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns!”
Twilight’s face was blank. “That’s… that’s an interesting coincidence.”
“It is, isn’t it? And not only is she smart, she's cute, too!” Pinkie Pie giggled and wrapped her forelegs around herself. “You wanna pick her up and hug her all day long. She's got soft fur, and this pretty mane with three colors in it…”
Twilight glanced down at the blue, purple, and pink in her tail. Her wings shot to attention. “Just like me.”
“Exactly. And, y'know, she used to be really awkward and shy and stuff, but now she has loads of friends, and is really fun to be around and study with!” Pinkie fluttered her eyelashes. “Just like you.”
That heat had filled Twilight's chest, and was climbing up to her cheeks. She nodded.
“And you wanna know the best thing?” Pinkie asked. She leaned forward until their muzzles brushed, until the sugar on Pinkie’s coat once again danced through Twilight’s nose, setting every thought, every sense ablaze. In a slow, breathy voice, Pinkie said, “She loves lemon cake—just like you.”
Every single raging thought in Twilight’s brain went silent, replaced by fleeting visions of Pinkie’s gentle hooves running along her wings, of their limbs intertwined, of hours spent sharing their warmth, sharing their bliss—sharing their love.
Twilight gulped, breathing heavy. "Pinkie Pie," she murmured, holding a hoof to her heart. “This... this is all so sudden.”
“I know,” Pinkie said, closing her eyes and nodding. "But sometimes love is sudden, y'know? Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, just when you least expect it.”
A moment of silence. For the slightest of seconds, their hearts beat in unity.
“And besides,” Pinkie said, "I only met Moondancer last month! So, like, that's gotta prove that love at first sight is a real thing!”
The fire in Twilight’s chest died. “Moondancer?” she asked, ears going limp. “You were talking about… Moondancer?”
“Well, yeah! Who else would I be talking about?” Pinkie asked. Before Twilight could answer, Pinkie explained, “She was at your party last month, but she was over by the punch bowl and looked kinda lonely, so I went over and started talking to her and we totally hit it off! We talked about how we both like baking, and we both like really long funny-sounding words… she’s so cute when she talks about science! So then I asked her out, and she got all shy and quiet, but said yes! Isn’t that amazing?”
Twilight frowned. “So you’re doing all this for her?”
“Yep. We’ve gone out a few times, but I’m going up to Canterlot this weekend for our first real big date, so I want to be as smart as possible.” Pinkie squeed and clapped her hooves. “Ooh, I’ve never been this excited before in my whole entire life! She’s taking me to the Museum of Coleopterology—isn’t that so romantic?!”
“Yeah.” Twilight held back a bitter sigh and rested her head in her hooves. “That’s great. Really great.”
As Pinkie continued to babble, Twilight felt her emotions turn to sludge. She was an idiot; her and Pinkie had been friends for almost five years now. Did she really think that if Pinkie Pie, the most transparent and open pony in existence, had a crush on her, she wouldn’t have known it since day one?
She glared at a crack in the crystal desk below. It wasn’t like she had a crush on Pinkie, either. But over those last few days, the last few hours… just for a moment Twilight thought that maybe there could have been something. Maybe love, maybe not—but something.
But now the comforting warmth in her cheeks had become a sharp burn, and it felt like a lead ball had fallen into her stomach. She couldn’t believe she had let herself get tricked like that. Stupid.
She opened her mouth and prepared to tell Pinkie that it was time for her to leave.
“…and whenever I think about her, I just get so happy, y’know?” Pinkie said, her voice falling to a sweet murmur. She hugged herself and stared off into space, the smallest of smiles across her lips. “I know that we’ve only been together for a little while, but she’s super cool. And I really, really like her.” Pinkie went silent, closing her eyes and basking in her thoughts.
Twilight stared at her friend, a sudden heaviness laying across her bones. She had seen Pinkie happy loads of times, but this… this was different. This wasn’t just happiness, or excitement. This was joy.
Twilight lost the breath she had been holding. Her thoughts fought for a moment more, the two sides of her heart ripping each other apart, before one side stood victorious. She managed to look Pinkie in the eye.
Twilight smiled. “That’s wonderful, Pinkie. I’m so glad to hear that you’re happy. Moondancer is a wonderful mare; I couldn’t think of anyone better for you.”
“Thanks, but…” Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re not upset that I wasn’t talking about you?”
Twilight choked on air. “What? How did you—I mean, that’s ridiculous!” Twilight laughed loudly. “Why would I have thought you were talking about me?”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Twilight.” Pinkie smirked and inspected her un-manicured hoof. “I may not look it, but I know a thing or two about crushes, and you were crushing pretty hard.”
“No, no, I was—ugh.” Twilight covered her face with a hoof. “You’re right. I thought you were talking about me, and I got excited, but when you started talking about Moondancer, I just got so upset! I was about to kick you out!” She sighed and slumped in her seat. “I’m a terrible friend.”
“Whaaaaaat? That’s not true at all!” Pinkie smiled. “Yeah, you were a bit upset, but sometimes when you’re disappointed, it’s super hard not to feel upset! Even if it’s at your best friend. And the important thing is that even though you were upset, you still put my needs above your own. In the end, all you wanted was to see me happy!” Pinkie reached over and touched Twilight’s hoof with her own. “You’re not a terrible friend. You’re my best friend in the whole world.”
Once again Twilight found herself without words—only this time, the feeling was accompanied by a pair of stinging eyes. She wiped away the tears already forming, then stood up and walked around the table to lock Pinkie in a hug.
“I’m sorry,” Twilight said as she wept into Pinkie’s shoulder. “I must look so crazy tonight…”
“You don’t gotta apologize. I mean, this is kinda my fault.” Pinkie rubbed the back of her head. “I never realized how similar you and Moondancer are. Heck, now that I think about it, you even have the same manestyle! So I’m sorry for leading you on like that.”
“It’s okay.” Twilight sniffled. “I should have known you weren’t talking about me. I mean, I’m not really cute or anything like that—”
Pinkie kissed Twilight on the cheek.
The feeling of Pinkie’s muzzle on her face sent a jolt through Twilight’s body, freezing her into place. She stared at Pinkie, jaw hanging.
“I may not like you like you,” Pinkie said through a giggle, “but I still think you’re pretty cute. And besides, this entire time we’ve been talking, my back tooth has been hurting real bad! Do you know what that means?”
Twilight blinked. “That you have a cavity?”
“No, silly! My back tooth hurting is Pinkie Sense for ‘Twilight Sparkle is gonna fall in love someday and be the happiest mare in the world.’” Pinkie tousled Twilight’s mane. “So don’t you worry about a thing, you hear me? ‘Cuz you’ve got a fantabulous future waiting just down the road!”
Twilight gritted her teeth to hold back another round of tears. She nuzzled her friend. “Thanks, Pinkie. You’re the best.”
“It’s no problemo!” Pinkie stood up and headed for the doorway. “Now, I gotta get home; I’m almost late for my weekly poker game with Gummy! See you tomorrow?”
Twilight was quiet as she touched her cheek—but soon smiled. “See you tomorrow.” She watched as Pinkie bounced out of the room, and moved to the window to watch her bounce out of the castle.
When Pinkie had long faded into the night, Twilight took a deep breath and rushed over to her bookshelf, where she lit her horn and took out a few thick textbooks on philosophy. She needed to prepare herself; after all, they only had a few days until Pinkie’s date with Moondancer, and there was still so much to be taught!
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Time-telling via campfire?
Anyway, this was worth a smile in the Writeoff, and you've taken an interesting turn with the edits. It's not just a one-note joke any more, and actually it seems like it takes a sharp turn into the serious after what used to be the stinger line. I don't know immediately if I like it better or not, but it's certainly a cool case study in how the same story can become something very different just with another scene or two.
I quite like:
The rewrite here. It takes it to a really nice place.
Mike
6535112
According to my research, dendropyrochronology is historical research through reading the burns on trees after wildfires... or something like that.
As I said in my roundup/autopsy/whatever, I really didn't like the original version of this. It was just something stupid I wrote in an hour because I wanted a third piece to submit. I'm generally not a fan of 1000-word joke pieces, and especially not that one, which was just a predictable joke leading to a simple punchline. Sorry you couldn't get into it as quickly as the last.
Okay, I did not see that plot twist coming. Good work, have an upvote.
Woohoohuu!
You certainly should construct some attractions for amusement parks, because this was a fucking Twister, haha!
6536900
I'm glad to hear that, because the main criticism for the original version of this was that it was entirely too predictable. Thanks for reading!
6537250
I'm disappointed
good plot twist...
6537859
Probably. I honestly don't remember. I just googled "Weird science words".
F-fug
It was fluffy and I was happy and could finish right there, then Moondancer hit! It was leading up so obvious, but then it was too obvious, I thought it'd be a flop and she meant Twilight all along but she didn't! Hnnnngg.
I have the strangest feels and even though both parties are happy and content I feel emotionally robbed, even though I shouldn't! Dammit Dubs. Making me feel feels that shouldn't be felt!
WADDATWIST!
Wow... This story just made me feel at least 3 different emotions at the very least. And it was only 1,000 words. That sounds like a very objective sign to measure how compelling it was so good job
What a twist!
Well that was wierd. I forgot I was reading a story! For a minute there, I was Twilight Sparkle. It got really... vivid. Huh. I think I just went through a mini existential crisis when it ended there.
6538812
Uh... I hate to say it, my friend, but this was actually about 3000 words.
Glad you liked it, though!
6539024
While I apologize for putting you through an existential crisis, I love that you had such a strong reaction! Thank you for reading!
6539129
Well crap— no wait, what if I meant that I felt those 3 emotions in an unspecified range of 1,000 words. I totally didn't forget to check the word count before commenting— that'd be what a silly pony would do
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
You amazing bastard. Go give M. Night Shyamalan some lessons.
So there's Friendzoned Sparkle here. Interesting.
On the other hoof, if Pinkie wants to know about E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G, does that mean no secret in Equestria will ever be safe now?
I came for the TwiPie and got, something better? Something disappointing? I don't know how I feel about this. It was well written, and I didn't see Moondancer coming until to late. So I'm happy and mad at the same time.
Anyway, congrats on an excellent fic.
How can this be complete when Twilight Sparkle hasn't met her One True Love yet?! T________T
6540653
Who says she hasn't?
One possible interpretation (though far from the only one) is that Pinkie Pie is going to end up breaking up with Moondancer as an indirect result of this conversation and end up with Twilight.
Friends help friends...no matter how much it hurts
My feels feel like they went through 10 games of Twister, because holy shit THAT WAS A FUCKING PLOT TWIST
YOU BASTARD
In all seriousness, really cute and really well done.
Goddamn, that was a punch to the sternum when I got to it. Like seriously, I read that one bit and it felt like I got punched in the heart. Lol.
I was actually starting to get a little unimpressed with what I thought the direction of the story was, as it seemed like it was a bit of a rush… but then, man, did you ever pull one over me. Great story!
Was the ending supposed to be ambiguous or am I just reading this too late at night? I wasn't sure if she was planning on teaching Pinkie to help her or if she was scheming to get her for herself, I think I would have preferred the latter but then one of my favourite stories on this sight is 'and then tomorrow came'. I also don't think the comedy tag was appropriate, not because it was sad or anything, it just didn't have anything funny in it. And perhaps it was too short... still gave it a like though
Ow... ow ow ow... My chest hurts now...
I want to both upvote (because this story is WONDERFUL) and downvote (because OW THE FEELS. I was not expecting M. Night Shyamalan to bust in driving the Feel Train!). But seriously: this was great. Well-written and basically wonderful, I really FELT it, and these or not tears they are... um... MY ROOMMATE IS CUTTING ONIONS!
Great job!
Decent Fic, decent twist.
Though, I've gotta ask, is the ending supposed to imply the whole Twilight & Moondancer are the same pony joke, or is Twilight gonna knock Moondancer out and take her place? Imma confuzzled
7064245
It was meant to imply that Twilight has accepted that Pinkie likes Moondancer and not her, and thus will do everything she can to help Pinkie and make sure her friend has a good date.
7064362 Aww, that's not nearly as interesting, also, kinda bipolar, I would at least take a couple days to get over a heartbreak, great friend or not.
6537859 Correct, specifically based on their tree rings.
Well... that was disappointing. Not the writing, you actually did a really good job of getting me into the moment and feeling what Twilight was feeling. But real people wouldn't be able to bounce back like that.
I'm well aware from experience. I mean, going all into it would probably take this away from being a one shot, but Twilight probably wouldn't be able to talk to Pinkie for at least a few minutes, much less go right into the "friendship epiphany."
Whirlwind fluffy shipfics barely work okay in small bite size pieces, trying to do a philosophical piece on friendship, support and love feels even more rushed.
Few things I love more than TwilightxPinkie shipping. You know what's one of those things? Bittersweet romance. There's probably a larger conclusion about myself to be drawn from that, but that's besides the point.
I really enjoyed the story, they way you slowly built up Twilight's budding feelings for Pinkie had me trembling with anticipation, and the subversion came like a bucket of cold water. It's funny, halfway through Pinkie's description I thought it would be fun if she was actually talking about Moondancer, so the reveal caused me both grief and smug satisfaction.
I agree with some people here that the fallout could have been handled differently. Twilight seems to get over the heartbreak just as quickly, if not quicker, than when she started to crush on Pinkie. Sure, the whole getting over someone aspect is a theme that can be explored on a story of its own, but I still feel it wasn't as powerful as the first half.
Anyway, enough rambling. Story was great, loved it.
6540077
That's what I found. Twinkie Pie is my OTP.
Do not read this (or any comment here) before reading the story... seriously, like many one shots this one has a plot that can't be commented on without spoiling. I'm spoiler tagging the first line but not the whole comment. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Me: "Hah, she's talking about Moondancer." *a minute later* "Holy crap she WAS talking about Moondancer."
Well, that was poignant. I've been where Twilight is, several times, even getting that whole 'you'll meet The One one day' brush off. Luckily for Twilight Pinkie Sense is a bit more reliable than the usual bland platitudes. Further, I will say, having been where Twilight is, you CAN get over it that fast and be happy for the other person. It might require a bit of mental discipline, but I've done it a few times. You can drink later when the other person has happily skipped away to be with whoever their heart is set on (and how convenient, Twi is 21 here...). And Twilight, the Princess of Friendship, would surely be far better at being happy for her friend's happiness than I would... so I have no trouble believing her capable of this. It was sweet of her, and bespoke an admirable mental fortitude. Really though... it was a crush that was a few minutes old... it's not THAT hard to set aside.
Pinkie was on point, too. It fits right in with her innocent insensitivity that she would accidentally build Twi up like that. It's how I got that she wasn't talking about Twilight. That's not on me; that's the author writing the character well enough that I could predict Pinkie Pie. ...That alone would be worth an upvote. Further, the amount of work Pinkie is putting in to impress her special somepony... yep, that's her to a T once again.
Welp... that was depressing for various reasons that aren't the author's fault. It's going to be a long night at work now. May Twi get a sequel, written or otherwise, where she actually finds whomever is hurting Pinkie's tooth.
Oh... Ow... That was poignant...
YOU TROLL!!!
You motherfucker.
8637482
I second this statement.
The you'll meet the right one someday platitude is so unintentionally cruel. Like, I get it, you're trying to be nice, but it's basically telling them that they're not good enough for you and never will be. I hate stories like this, not because it's badly written, you did an excellent job, but because I've been the one in Twilights position so many times I don't even know where to start, and that crushing moment never really goes away. Sure it'll dull, but deep down it always hurts, and stories like this just bring it all rushing back.
seriously! why didn't they make Moondancer Twilight's BIOLOGICAL twin? the story possibilities are endless!
also, YOUCH. That's cold man
Why’d I find this in a TwiPie group when this isn’t really TwiPie.
I think this is a good story but I can't help but feel aggravated at being tricked so I'm very torn which I guess is the point..