Ch. 17; Facing The Woman In The Mirror
Revan groggily blinked her eye and rubbed at her aching head as she sat up, “Where am I?” she wondered as she looked around at a landscape composed entirely of shifting shadows and a familiar red haze.
A voice came out of the gloom, “About time you woke up, our little librarian can sure pack a wallop, eh?”
Revan rolled to her feet as she spun around to face … herself? A near-exact duplicate of the twi’lek stood a few meters off, one hand casual hooked through her belt and a mocking smile on her lips as she cocked a brow above her poisonous-yellow eyes.
‘So that what I would have looked like if I never left the Sith,’ mused a distant, cold portion of Revan’s mind, while the rest of her thoughts were concerned with more immediate issues, “Who … What are you?”
“I’m you, you stupid ass, I’m what we could have been, should have been, if you hadn't denied what we are and tried to cripple our power.”
“I didn't ‘cripple’ us,” the twi'lek retorted as she glared at her doppelganger, “I got us under control before the death-addiction overwhelmed us and we turned on our own!”
“Bah,” the doppelganger sneered, “We were SoulTaker! The Demon of Comzelar! We had the respect of the military and a bright future ahead of us in the Sith Order, and you threw it all away to go running to the Jedi! To be the attack hound they always regarded with suspicion even as they used us to do their dirty work! As for control, what did the Jedi have to do with our control? Our talents were ‘Dark Side aberrations’, all the Jedi taught us was how to suppress them! We earned our control, despite them, and we kept our power despite you!”
“And look at what you've reduced us to now,” the doppelganger continued, as she began to circle around Revan, “We have the power to take a place for ourselves, to protect these ponies from their own idealistic, softhearted, folly. But what are we doing? Serving them! Changing what we do, giving up on what we know works, in order to bow to their naïve principals. And still you hold our abilities back! It took Twilight being captured for you to finally stop pretending and embrace what we are!”
“You leave Twilight out of this!” the twi’lek snarled at her double, “And we have never sought power! All we ever wanted was to protect those we care about!” the fire in Revan’s face faded as she continued in a softer tone, “And things are so different here … It makes no sense, but, somehow, their idealism works more often than not. Maybe, maybe we don’t always have to make the hard choices anymore?”
“And that is your excuse for letting that merc go?” sneered the doppelganger, “‘Being soft works for the ponies’, so you just let him go free to come at our backs or go after Rainbow instead? What the frell were you thinking you di’kut?”
“And you think protecting others doesn’t take power? Did you sleepwalk through our training at the Shadow Academy?” the doppelganger didn’t bother waiting for Revan to respond, her voice dripping with derision as she continued, “If you’re so sure about how understanding these ponies will be, then why haven’t you ever told any of them what we really are? Not Hopeful, not the Princesses we are so fond of, not our friends back in Ponyville, not even our precious Twilight.”
She bared her teeth at the twi’lek in a cruel smile, “I’ll tell you why, all the things we’ve seen and done? All the lives we’ve drunk down? The choices we’ve made? How much we love blood and death, hunger for it? You know they could never accept the truth of what we are. So you hide it away, bury it and pretend that it never happened.”
“Pretend it never happened …” the doppelganger repeated slowly, before she raised her head to glare at Revan, her eyes blazing with a sudden rage, “You keep Maeve buried too! You just go about pretending what we did to her never happened, that she never even existed! You miserable bastard, how dare you?!”
“I’d never deny Maeve!” Revan swore as she stumbled away, driven back by the sheer force of the wrath and anguish that was radiating from her double, “I'll never forget what we did!”
“Liar!” the red haze swelled up, blotting out Revan’s vision as her doppelganger’s words, now filled with ice, continued from out of the dark, “You’ve tried to forget our sins, but I’ll make you remember!”
________________________________________
________________________________________
Revan blinked in a futile attempt to clear the blood from her working eye, the other was swollen shut, while more blood bubbled from her smashed nose and her chest screamed with every breath. With a grunt, the girl forced her hand to open and let the bloody vibroknife clatter to the gore-splattered duracrete floor of the pens. A wave of vertigo swept over her, and the twi’lek swayed as she stared at the two broken fingers on her right hand with sick fascination as she fought to regain her focus.
“Maeve!” with a jerk the girl lurched about and limped as quickly as she could to where Fass had dropped her beloved friend, “No, no, no, no ….” Dropping to her knees with a muted scream, Revan reached out to brush the zeltron’s blue hair away from the battered ruins of her once beautiful face, only to flinch away at Maeve’s sightless, staring eyes and the way her head lolled limply at the twi’lek’s touch.
“Mae’, no …” Revan whispered as she gathered the older girl’s body tightly in her arms, as if she could somehow squeeze the life back into her. After futilely holding her friend to her breast for a few moments, the twi’lek threw her head back and unleashed a wailing cry of naked grief and anger, filling the pens with the sound of her agony, although her eyes remained dry.
“For the love of the Makers, Revan Vao, stop this!”
The girl stared as a glorious, night-dark herdbeast, clad in metal armor and sporting great, feathered wings, a long horn, and a mane and tail made out of the starry sky, stepped out of the shadows of the pens, “Please, Revan Vao, stop this self-torment before thou destroy thyself,” it begged in a clearly feminine voice.
Revan gave a terrified whimper as she tried to scramble away from the strange quadruped, Maeve’s body still clutched in her arms, while the quadruped, in turn, watched the twi’lek’s actions with a look of surprise and pain clear on her face.
“She does not know you, Princess of the Moon, to her, it is seventeen years ago, on the day when our world burned and the universe decided it would be crueler to let us live.”
The girl and the quadruped looked about for the source of the coldly disinterested voice, but there was no one to be seen, even the slaves in the other cages had vanished, ‘What’s going on?’ Revan wondered, ‘Where is everyone? And why does that voice sound like ... me?’
“Who are thou? Are thou a danger to Revan Vao?” demanded the princess as she glared out into the darkness, her wings flared and her horn lowered in threat.
“I am Revan, Princess,” the voice replied in the same indifferent tone, “I am what makes sure we live and others die. And you should not be here.”
The princess narrowed her eyes at the shadows, “If keeping Revan Vao alive is thy purpose, then thou know that her self-hatred is poisoning her mind and spirit, it must end.”
“Agreed,” the voice finally replied after several moments, “The comparative peace of Equestria and the influence of you ponies have left us with too much time to contemplate our guilt, and to develop emotional connections that we have wisely refused in the past. Our current emotional state is no longer tenable.”
“Then thou will help us?”
“I am our survival and our pragmatism, Princess, I cannot heal our soul, however, I can keep us from doing anything too rash … at least for a time. But I warn you, the Darkness and I are integral parts of Revan’s psyche now, we can no more be removed than the events you have seen here can be undone, and any attempt to do so will have … consequences.”
The quadruped princess stood waiting for a time, as Revan continued to watch her fearfully, but when no further response from the shadows proved forthcoming, she walked forward to place a comforting wing on the young girl’s shoulder, “It is time for thou to leave this place and come back, Revan Vao, all of thy friends are worried about thee.”
“M-my friends?”
“Yes,” the princess nodded to the girl, “Thou are not alone, Revan Vao, but I think it is time that thou told us everything.”
“I can’t go,” the young twi’lek shook her head as she tightened her grip on Maeve’s body, “I can’t leave Mae’ alone ….”
The princess smiled sadly as she pulled the girl into a wing-hug, “She will not be alone, Revan Vao, thou have mine word.”
“… Okay.”
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So now we see her Sith side of her psyche... Hoo boy... But... Now we know how both Luna and Revan are the same in many ways...
I have really enjoyed this so far, so a like and added to my favorites for this story : )
7219103 Well, being Dark Side and warm and fuzzy is a difficult combination to achieve ... (Darth Fluttershy, anyone?
)
7219340 Glad you're enjoying it
Great story so far! Have a Darth Fluttershy.
http://i.imgur.com/NnECCoT.png
7220104 Aww, the link is broken, no Darth Fluttershy for me
7219989 "Hell" and "damn" come from the Nine Corellian Hells, basically an afterlife not unlike that described by Dante in Inferno, which was created to justify the use of said words by authors because they were written in with no real reason and someone noticed that the society wouldn't have those words. I do think switching to "krif" and "fell" would be a good idea, if only hecause she has used a Mandalorian word to describe herself as "idiot", so it's just consistency.
Though now I must ask, is she from SWTOR's era? The way Revan describes her time as Sith matches with that timeframe.
7220690
.......i just dont know what went wrong.
http://imgur.com/DxoiIUl
7220853
Have a mustache 
7220791 The mando'a was just because people who know multiple languages some times mix them together when swearing (plus I think Mando culture would appeal to Revan) ... still if it's causing a disconnect or suspension-of-disbelief problem for readers, maybe I should go back through and tweak all the swearing (and the warnings in the story description) ...
(Did I just give myself a massive editing job on top of trying to write the next chapter?
)
As for the timeline, like I explained to nospeedy, Revan's history fits anywhere between between 3593 BBY and 1100 BBY (the lack of "official" data on the SW timeline for that period can have its uses
), so she is either "Old" Republic or, I guess you would call it "Middle" Republic?
Honestly, it may have been better for Revan if she lived during the New Republic period, they seem to have a better track record dealing with Dark Siders hoping to reform and people who discover their Force talents after adulthood ...
7222921 I'm an expert on both Canons, so I can say that "Middle" Republic doesn't quite work unless you have Revan Vao be part of the Dark Brotherhood. This was a grouo after the Second Empire and was taken down by Darth Bane to make the "Rule of Two". It was a very...Game of Thrones style organization, more mafia than real Sith.
If you need advice on canon information you ant to use, just PM me.
7231572 Thanks for the offer
, but post Galactic War "Old" Republic should work just fine (old enough that the Sith Empire or one of its remnants are still active, but well removed from any of the big "galaxy-shaking" events).
is she ever going to meet darth maul or ima gun di ? she coul use some jedi or sith company
7442885 Sorry, no Darth Maul
(the 2,000+ year time difference makes that encounter kind of hard to finagle 
)
7442935 maybe the time goes different at those places and well its unknown what darth maul did until the gost crew found him in that temple
7442953 Seeing how Equestria's solar mechanics are completely WTF, them having wonky temporal mechanics as well isn't as big a stretch <taps chin thoughtfully> ...
Still, I'm afraid I don't have any current plans to introduce any additional Star Wars characters into the story, sorry.
I personally think it would be rather interesting to see her react to my star wars OC...:.. but besides that I think this is a GREAT story one of the better ones.
8837200
Thanks
Im enjoy the fix thus far, so not revan but possible descendant or was named after revan and is related to mission vao. Very interesting, i think revan and luna both relate well. Both having been in darkness. Im glad i found this fic of yours.
10742868 Glad your enjoying it.