6. Meet the Master
Getting to the schoolyard was a greater nightmare than I imagined. First, I had to deal with my annoying sister and her stupid questions about my 'date'. One rose stem on the floor, and I was already being grilled about whether or not I thought a gaming career could support a family. Sweet Celestia, my sister was talking as if Shady and I were about to get married!
It had taken me close to an hour to escape Amethyst, and about as much to drag Scootaloo out of her clubhouse. Initially, all had gone well — the standard questions about our experience, a few comments about Luna, and subtle bragging. One mention that we would meet DD in real life and Scoots had gone all crazy. At first, she had utterly refused to go. Minutes later, she had started freaking out about all sorts of irrelevant stuff. Finally, I had to suffer through the obligatory indecisiveness that accompanied the choice of accessories — shades, vest, cap, no shades, championship pin... I cringed just thinking about it. That had been a side of Scoots I had never seen, and I prayed to Celestia never to see again.
Now, here we were, waiting on the school's merry-go-round. The more I looked at Scoots, however, the more worried I got. Great Celestia, please let me be wrong about this!
"So you see each other often?" Scoots asked. "Not in the Web, I mean."
"Sort of." I did my best to be vague, but not too vague. "We rarely talk. Much simpler this way."
"Know what you mean," she sighed, making me feel even more nervous.
"I'll go check out back." I stood up. "Just in case."
Buck! Celestia strike me down! No way I was going through with this. Even with all the weirdness in the Web, there was no bucking way I would stay around for real life drama of this magnitude. They could yell at each other till dawn! Hay, they could kick each other’s teeth out for all I cared!
"Hey, fillies," a voice sounded behind us. Damn it! I was too late. "How's it going?"
Slowly, I moved to the side. In my mind, I could see it all crashing down... in slow motion.
"What are you doing here?" Scootaloo reacted as I expected she would. The look of scorn on her face was almost the same she had on Diamond's cute-ceañera.
"I called you here, 'Wings'." Diamond frowned. How I envied her ability to put on her real life mask when she wanted. "I thought Dink had told you." She looked at me, puzzled.
"I did," I squeaked timidly. Damn, my real life self again!
"You did no such thing!" Scootaloo jumped to her hooves, steam coming from her nostrils. "All you said was, we were supposed to meet—" She stopped abruptly, struck by the sudden realization. "Oh, no!" She took several steps back. "Heck, no!"
"Sorry, Scoots." A bit of DD showed through. "It really is me. I’m still surprised you never caught on. I use my actual name, after all."
"But I thought you were a stallion," Scoots said, ears flopped, words drenched in disappointment.
"What?!" Both Diamond Tiara and I gaped.
"I use a purplish-pink female Crystal Pony build avatar, call myself DiamonD, I behave so shy that half the time I’m asked whether I’m Fluttershy in real life… and you thought I was a stallion?" DD arched a brow. Meanwhile, I was doing my best not to burst into laughter. Poor Scoots. How wrong can a pony get?
"Well, you overdid it!" The pegasus kicked some dirt into the air. "You were always acting feminine and stuff, so I assumed..."
"That I was a colt?" Diamond was doing her best to suppress a chuckle. I wasn't even bothering. This was too good to miss. I almost wished I could capture and post it on the Everfree forums.
"I thought you were one of those sensitive types!" At those words, even DD couldn't hold her laughter. "And you kept coming to the tournaments and stuff, and... hey, it isn't funny!"
It kind of was, actually — at least for two of the ponies involved. Did this make me a horrible pony? Maybe just a bit. Quite a lot, rather. Looking back, this must have been going on for months, maybe even more. DD had started receiving personal tournament invites from Scoots, right after our teleport code reveal. That was one of the things that brought us our Web fame. The big names had taken it from there, but the ones who initially found the memo were me and DD. Apparently Scoots must have taken notice... and come to the horribly wrong conclusion. Poor, poor her.
"Scootaloo, the reason I acted like that was so I can hang around ponies more," Diamond Tiara said softly. "Things are a bit... complicated right now. If I want to have fun, I have to do it secretly in the Web. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. I really enjoyed hanging out with you. And if you repeat a single word I said, I'll crush you!" She winked, still smiling, but it was pretty obvious she wasn't joking.
An awkward silence followed. We all just stood there, focusing aimlessly on pointless details around us — the names scribbled on the merry-go-round, the dirt on the ground, the torn rope of one of the swings.
"Where do we stand now?" I broke the silence tentatively. "Code runs deeper than feelings?"
"Maybe." Scootaloo continued digging a hole with her hoof. I didn't need to have pegasus perception to tell she wasn't taking it too well. "That thing with Luna was weird, though." She decided to change the subject. "Way weird. I knew that ICE was stupid, but to attack her? Something must be off. And what was that red stuff?" She looked at Diamond Tiara.
"And how come you have Phoenix powers?" I added. "Don't tell me your dad is Conglomerate?"
"Not mine," she sighed. "The gear I'm using. It isn't actually mine. I have, like, ten others, but this one was a gift."
No way! Was she actually saying what I think she was? Silver Spoon mentioned giving Diamond her first Web gear. If so, did that mean that Silver was Conglomerate? Buck it! I knew her family had some connections, but to be a Conglomerate VIP! The Web certainly had created a lot of secrets. Me, Diamond Tiara, now Silver Spoon — we all weren't what the real world thought us to be. I knew dozens more just like us, and the secrets didn't end there. Interesting, how much I could find out if I really started digging.
"The auto-disconnect, my limited access to Phoenix protocols, it's all the gear." She took a deep breath then sat on the merry-go-round. "I'm still good at my Web stuff. This just gives me an edge. And when I saw the red snowflakes, I knew the hay had hit the fan."
"Yeah, so what exactly are they?" Scootaloo sat beside her, though not as close as I had seen them be in the Web.
"Guess you can call it Super ICE. Originally, it was created to stop the Sombra virus. The strange thing is that it actually works. Sure, the snowflakes destroy whole sectors to the point they have to be rebuilt from scratch, but they actually purge the virus. Spooky thing is that nopony knows what’s in their code."
"Come on!" Scootaloo tapped her on the back with a wing. That wasn't good. I braced for all Tartarus to break loose. "Somepony must know."
Diamond Tiara flinched. Slowly her head turned towards Scoots. Celestia, I could see the conflict in her eyes — the buried desire to jump to the ground and give the Pegasus a hind hoof to the chin.
"Nopony up to VP level has a clue," she said extremely calmly, moving slightly towards Scootaloo. "They know how to launch it, but that's all. I'm not sure they can even change the the activation triggers, and believe me, I've looked into this."
"Then we stop here," I said. Both of them started at me, as if I had straw in my teeth. Buck it! I knew perfectly well what I was saying. This was a chance of a lifetime, I didn't want to trot away like some loser, but what other choice did we have? The worst part was that I had to convince them. Celestia, will I ever get a break?
"Red ICE, Web deities, Triumvirs," I started enumerating. "This is simply out of our league. If none of the big names have taken any action, what can we do? It's not like we’re better than them. Sure, we have potential, but they have tons of skill and experience, and source code hacks. We have..." I looked at them. "Two custom avatars and a loudmouth loser." Hay, I was feeling low. Can't believe I actually said that out loud.
"Dink," Diamond sighed. "You really are a doormat In the real world."
"Hay, DD! I don't know what to do!" Why did I feel so bitter all of a sudden? "We're just throwing straw at a dragon! What do you think is the best thing that could happen?"
"Dinkyyy!" A goofy shout interrupted me. Oh hay, no! Not now! This is the last thing I need!
Knowing I'd regret it, I looked behind me. The overly cheerful, ever eventful mailmare of Ponyville approached. Judging by the way she was mostly looking at me, and the huge smile on her face, I knew I was in for massive embarrassment.
"Hey, girls." Derpy landed a few steps away. "How are you? Enjoying life's mysteries?"
Well at least she didn't offer us muffins. Scoots and Diamond smiled politely. They had been witness to the things that tended to happen when Derpy was involved. The storm cloud that rained muffins was the most recent example. That had been a Derpy-Pinkie combined effort. The fillies loved it, of course, but then again foals always liked Derpy. The problem was, I was a senior now... along with the rest of my class.
"So how did the date go?" she asked, causing me to blush slightly. Not because of the date itself, rather from having my ex-foalsitter ask the question in public in front of my friends. "Amethyst told me how nervous you were. I also heard he brought you roses. Must have been nice, knowing how you loved chomping on those." She gave me a tight wing-hug.
"Ditzy!" I could feel my face turn red. Sis was so going to regret being a blabbermouth! "Lemme go! You're embarrassing me!" And I had just reverted to the speech patterns of a ten-year old. Yay me...
"Oh, aren't you the funniest." She released her grip just enough for me to escape. "Isn't that right, girls?" Diamond and Scoots looked back at her with plastic smiles. I could tell by the look in their eyes, they still weren’t sure whether they found this funny or terrifying. "Why, I remember taking care of this little muffin just yesterday. And now — look at her. A few more years and I'll be asking her to keep an eye on my little treasures."
"Ditzy! We are doing important stuff!" My ten year old self said stomping on the ground. "Can't you see we’re busy?!"
"I'm sure you are, muffin," she smiled, ruffling my mane with her wing, "but Ditzy didn't come just to ask you about your date. Actually, I have a priority letter for you."
A letter? This was a first. Since the start of the Web almost nopony used letters anymore. Well, that's a stretch. My generation didn't use them anymore. Packages - sure, I got those all the time. Letters, though, no.
Intrigued, I looked at the envelope Ditzy took from her saddlebag. It was white with red and yellow stripes on the outside. The words "Urgent" "By Hoof" and "EMERGENCY" were stamped on the top. Whoever sent this was definitely eager for me to receive it.
"That will be fifty-seven bits," the mailmare said cheerfully.
"But Diiitzy!" I stomped, sulking.
"I have it, Dink," Diamond said calmly, tossing a hundred-bit coin. Derpy grabbed it in mid air, then finally relinquished the letter.
Stupid Derpy, making me look bad in front of my friends. Making me pay for the stupid letter that... Damn it! Even in my mind I continued to act like a ten-year old! The price of having her as a foalsitter, I guess.
I ripped open the envelope and magically removed its contents: a single piece of paper folded in half. Not exactly what I was expecting, but still. Unfolding it, I froze. There were only five words there, but they hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Well, what does it say?" Scoots asked.
Extremely slowly, I folded the note, levitated it back to Derpy, then relaxed to the ground. Whoever coined the phrase 'rollercoaster day' sure wasn't kidding. It would have been nice if she had included a few phrases of warning to go along with it.
"It says," I mumbled. "It says 'We need to talk'. And it's signed by MaDster."
"MaDster wants to talk to us?" DD's eyes lit up. "He really wants to talk to us? Oh my goodness!" She started clapping her forehooves like a schoolfilly. Beside her Scootaloo's eyes had grown so wide, I actually thought they would fall off her face.
"Yes, fillies, she really wants to speak to you," Derpy said, making us stare at her in disbelief. "And we have to do it now."
This, I did not expect…
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Ohh Scootaloo, looking for stallions on the web...
Thus marking the THIRD time someone has been mistaken for a dude online.
6945800 :) "There are no stallions in the Web" We all know that! :P
I can picture several record scratches happening throughout the chapter. I think that's the best way to capture its essence.
I'm somewhat at a loss for words, here--funny, considering my last comment. This chapter was a very nice character piece and a cautionary tale about making assumptions.
I kinda have to wonder why is Derps charging Dinky for receiving the parcel. I thought she may be joking but she actually ends up taking the money.
Oh, well. I suppose she has to fund the muffin and hacking lifestyle somehow.
I also continue to be amused by the string of wrong identity assumptions. I guess there are no stallions on the web! :V
7888592
What would a stallion even do on the web, besides play games? Clearly they don't have the brainpower to be awesome hackers! I mean can you just imagine one of them trying to do even some basic illegal hacking? =P