• Member Since 12th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Bad Dragon


I write so that one day I may finally stop writing and be free, but these damn new ideas keep finding ways into my brain. I need to write more to keep up with them.

Comments ( 117 )

Comment section minigames for the story Celestia Visits Nightmare Moon (anypony is welcome to play this game in the comment section of this story)

GAME 1: Help the princess in despair
Celestia prepared a list of mean names she could use to call Nightmare Moon. Alas, she has used them all on this last visit on the moon. It’s just not the same if you use the same names to insult someone, you know? Help Celestia with originality by posting at least one mean name that she can insult Nightmare Moon with on the next visit.

GAME 2: Music alignment
Does this story remind you of a song that you know? If yes, post it in the comments in the following format:
- A link or embedded Youtube video of it.
- Percentage of correlation (0% being an unrelated song, 100% being a song written exactly for this story).
- Reason why this song reminded you of this story or the excerpt of the lyrics that resonates with this fic in some way.

Music recommendations for reading this story:
Sentenced - Broken — Correlation: 90% (Lyrics)
I am dying down growing weaker now — It could seem that I'm doing fine — but I'm broken to little pieces deep inside
Why did I ever choose to go this way — The question I keep asking myself all the time — I guess it was my instinct for self-destruction — that pointed me down this way — The fire in my eyes is dying — and the dream I had is gone

Primal Fear - Fighting The Darkness — Correlation: 90% (Lyrics)
I'm fighting the darkness within me — Can you hear my call — Feels like I'm frozen under my skin — I'm forever lost — Here in the shadows in the twilight — Life is eternal and my past is forsaken — I'm fighting the darkness

Beseech - Lost — Correlation: 89% (Lyrics)
Calling out in pain, my weaknesses, fighting to get back whole — Overwhelmed by madness, lost in the darkness of my soul

Abney Park - The Only One — Correlation: 85% (Lyrics)
I wake each night into this nightmare — Only to find that the worst is clear — I have to spend each day without you — And spend each night dreaming that it's not true
All of my life I gave you my soul — I lived for you, but you had another goal

Linkin Park - Numb — Correlation: 85% (Lyrics) - suggested by 6635266
all I want to do — Is be more like me and be less like you — Can't you see that you're smothering me — Holding too tightly — afraid to lose control? — ‘Cause everything that you thought I would be — Has fallen apart right in front of you.

Stabbing Westward - Darkest Days — Correlation: 80% (Lyrics)
All I feel is hollow and bruised — Used up and misused — Forced to be someone I don't want to be — Have I failed somehow or some way

Disturbed - Pain Redefined — Correlation: 80% (Lyrics)
In the realm of pain, I am the deceiver — Now I lie to myself, so I can believe her — As she disassembles my life — I cannot dispel the illusion — All my hopes and dreams are drowned by confusion — Can I find a way to make a solution that will reconfigure my life

Ravenous - Between the Worlds — Correlation: 80% (Lyrics)
Always thought I knew the person — Always thought I knew you — But right now I must confess — That I know little of what you do

Bella Morte - Torn — Correlation: 80% (Lyrics)
All I've loved is lost — I can not count the days, I can not count the hours — I live within a mystery, That dies with me at dawn — And I am lost again
Watching from this distant place, That breathes within my skin — This grief is all my own

Helloween - World of fantasy — Correlation: 80% (Lyrics)
The day you're born you're under pressure — Your life is well prepared, my friend — They surely teach you what to think — How to behave until the end
I'm living in a world of fantasy — Reality ain't meant or made for me — All that I see is so unreal

Beautiful Sin - This is not the Original Dream — Correlation: 75% (Lyrics)
I'm wasting my time to wait for solutions — I seek out the sun, a ray of light to clear my way
And all my life was built on illusions — I seek out the sun, a ray of light crossed my way

The Drowning Season - Curse — Correlation: 75% (Lyrics)
Another day is fading — With the darkness closing fast — And soon the nightmares will begin — Prayers go unanswered — So much to answer for

Linkin Park - Crawling — Correlation: 70% (Lyrics)
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection — It's haunting how I can't seem — To find myself again

Redemption - The Suffocating Silence — Correlation: 70% (Lyrics)
The tension's ever-mounting, and the dam's about to break — Something's going wrong here – the lines have all been broken — In the shelter of our silence conflicts keep upon themselves
Subconscious acts replace the spoken word and we express with cruelty what we neglect to say

Nemesea - Lost Inside — Correlation: 65% (Lyrics)
You’ll never understand my pain — You’ll say it makes no sense — Drowning everyday a little more — But how can I tell you when I cannot confess?

30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill — Correlation: 65% (Lyrics)
I tried to be someone else — But nothing seemed to change — I know now, this is who I really am inside. — Finally found myself — Fighting for a chance. — I know now, this is who I really am.

Beyond the Void - The Deeper We Fall — Correlation: 65% ([url= ]Lyrics)
So that's how it feels to be buried alive — To be cast into the void — Deeper than all shades of night — With no morning to return to

Lunascape - Tears From The Moon — Correlation: 60% (Lyrics)
Tears from the moon — Fall down like rain — I reach for you — I reach in vain

Gretchen - Fading — Correlation: 60% (Lyrics)
I'm fading inside, lately — I can not seem to find myself again
What is wrong here — I don't belong here — Save me from myself

The Dreamside - Gates of Dawn — Correlation: 60% (Lyrics)
She passed many sleepless nights — Then gathered every bit of strength — For her unguided attempt — Can't you, can't you comprehend?

Enigma - Tears from The Moon — Correlation: 60% (Lyrics)
It just ain't fair this thing called loving — When one's still there and the other feels nothing — I would have done anything for you

Within Temptation~ Jillian (I'd Give My Heart) — Correlation: 55% ([url= ]Lyrics)
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul. — I'd turn it back, it's my fault.

Twisted Tower Dire - Make It Dark — Correlation: 50% (Lyrics)
If your heart's misread and you're left for dead — You can Make it Dark — Woncha cry for help don't try to save yourself — And we'll Make it Dark

Revolution Renaissance - I Did It My Way — Correlation: 50% (Lyrics)
Look at me — Do you see all the things — I want you, you to see?
I am me, I cannot be — What I'm not, I am real and I feel — But you can never stop, you forgot

Epica - Deep Water Horizon — Correlation: 50% (Lyrics)
There's the feeling once again — The day where black and white began — Await the ending of our everlasting violence

Evanescence - Lithium — Correlation: 50% (Lyrics)
don't make me sleep alone. — Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show. — Never wanted it to be so cold.
I forgive you... After all, — Anything is better than to be alone. — And in the end I guess I had to fall. — Always find my place among the ashes. — I can't hold on to me, — Wonder what's wrong with me.

Within Temptation - What Have You Done — Correlation: 50% ([url= ]Lyrics)
Would you mind if I hurt you? — Understand that I need to — Wish that I had other choices — than to harm the one I love
you have turned into my worst enemy — You carry hate that I don't feel

Hungry Lucy - A girl alone — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
I lost you in the dark — I lost your beating heart — I lost you to the years — I lost you through my tears — So often I cry for you — Do you cry for me too?

Hungry Lucy - Bound in Blood — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
You can't hear me — You won't see me — I am sorry — Please don't hurt me — Wanting, pleading, loving, bleeding

Hungry Lucy - You Are — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
Revolting is how you make me feel — Disturbing how your love isn’t real — Typical is what this seems to be — For you deception comes so easily

I:Scintilla - Scin — Correlation: 45% ([url= ]Lyrics)
Revive a dormant spirit — Spill over darkened shades — Under quickness awakened — This balance will never fade
Stand up embrace this night — It still shelters assembled stars — what comes from the source of light — And all that is opposing — Scratches in and breaks down — The torn theme of self-loathing

After Forever - Discord — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
You need to get out of my sight — A lonely heart can beat — You're too dangerous — A lonely heart can bleed

Lacuna Coil - Upside Down — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I don't understand why do you feel confused? — Once again you fail to even realize — The person that you think of me — Doesn't care what you believe

Lahannya - Out Of Time — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
When I see the morning sun again — I’m one step closer to the end
Wake me up — From this recurring — Nightmare I get — Infiltrating — Night and day — Never relenting — Until I give up — To get some relief

The Last Dance - Nightmares — Correlation: 45% (Lyrics)
This bitter silence — Taints my world, becomes my nightmares — And moments passing by

The Dreamside - Into a Frenzy — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
This hell within — Of blood red tears — Without mercy — Full of fears
I'm into a frenzy — Got myself to blame — For I believed in you

Satyrian - The Dark Gift — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Suffer every shame and blame — What ear would hear me if I cried — what could I do to stand the tide?
Darkness pressed the shimmering veil — To the black it starts to rend — I am not called upon to be — The dark gift

Thoushaltnot - Inside of You, In Spite of You — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I am the sun before you see me rise — I burn still when you close your eyes — I am the soul that never dies when flesh is weak

Forever Slave - Lunatic Asylum — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Innocent! Your soul — come back to the Shades — Her sweet voice shakes

Moonspell - Luna — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Accept no resignation — For some life has been cruel — You have set the mood — Thinking about you... Luna..Luna..Luna

The Dreamside - Mirror Moon — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Stay with me — I have made my sacrifice — This pain inside is killing me — I require you tonight — Save me — I have made my sacrifice — I require you tonight

HIM - Gone With The Sin — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I crave for your scent sending shivers down my spine — I just love the way you're running out of life

Hungry Lucy - Into Pieces — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Why must I do this — Can you help me through this

Angtoria - Six Feet Under's Not Deep Enough — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
You'll twist and turn your spite — Till you drain the sane — Cover up your tracks with lies — Deceit hides a smile
Approached by truth, you take offence — Praise the hypocrite!

Xandria - Eversleeping — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I will lose my breath in my last words of sorrow — And whatever comes will come soon — Dying I will pray to the moon — That there once will be a better tomorrow

Pink Cream 69 - Talk to the moon — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Don't you tell me no lies — When I look in your eyes — If you talk to the moon — Oh, can't you see me crying — I'm crying for you

Apoptygma Berzerk Suffer In Silence — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
It's hard to confess — and look you in the eyes — I need you to forgive — and make this tragic feeling go away

Candlebox - You — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Pain in my heart it is real — And I'll tell you now how I feel inside — Feel in my heart it's for you — And I'll take everything — As it comes my way

Eyes Of Eden - Star — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Promises made by night — Vanishing in day's light — I will break your chains — Save your tears — Let me go! — Nothing touches my burning soul

Nemesea - No More — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
You won't let me go — Right now you should know — I'm no longer yours — It won't be the same — Your the one to blame — Can't take no more.

Dio - Dream Evil — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
things that can't be real the truth is really lies — Don't wish on a rising star you should open up the door — Where things that just should never be are calling up a spell so you can see

Ozzy Osbourne - Waiting For Darkness — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Spare me from the light — Here comes the night — And here I'll stay
Who knows the answers — Is it friend or is it foe — Don't ask me questions — There are things you should not know

Inkubus Sukkubus - Prince of Shadows — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Your life is so much sorrow — Let me take one moment of your pain
The world shall show us such wonders — I'll cast my net into the Sea of Dreams

Kamelot - Insomnia — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I’m asleep but wide awake — A nightmare on repeat

Beseech - Illusionate — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
they transformate my soul — completely black — my skill to love is gone — I can not feel

The Dreamside - Nocturnal — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Nocturnal, nocturnal — Stars and dreams protect me — Take me away, take me away — From here
Shapes are moving, shadows lurking — Fears freed from subconsciousness — Terror thoughts and nerves and shaking — An anguished soul on the verge

Bella Morte - Exorcisms — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
A monster finds life within — A darkness inside — With little left to defend — No one to defy — The eyes of disorder — Stare in to watch over

Bloodbound - Behind the Moon — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
From dusk till dawn — The curse is on — With the light of day comes no sanctuary — As the shadows fade away

Yngwie J. Malmsteen - You Don't Remember, I'll Never Forget — Correlation: 40% ([url= ]Lyrics)
It was you, it was me — And we would last forever — Any fool could see — That we were meant to be

Gretchen - Lie to Yourself — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
you're afraid — Trapped inside the mess you've made — That's the way it's always been — Through your rainbow colored lens

[url= ]Poets of the Fall - Carnival of Rust — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
It's all a game, avoiding failure, when true colors will bleed — All in the name of misbehavior and the things we don't need — I lust for after no disaster can touch, touch us anymore — And more than ever, I hope to never fall, where enough is not the same it was before

Abney Park - Breathe — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I feel a chill deep in my bones — Nothing can heal the way my blood moans — Nothing can quench — My bitter thirst
Grasp at my heart that burns in my chest — It's your precious art that makes my soul stressed — Run short of blood — Light-headed I swoon

Apoptygma Berzerk - Bitch — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
Every time you hurt me, — I lie helpless for a day — I try to stand up but you're in my way

Beyond the Black - In the Shadows — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
It’s so hard to kill the demons — When they live inside your heart
So come here and take me — I’m already gone — In a second life beside you — Is where I want to belong


Not all of the feedback is in this comment section, so I’m posting the rest of it here:
1. Via PM:

This story is great, I love how you depicted Celestia and Luna’s characters! The vague mystery strewn throughout the story is brilliant, you did a great job with this story, and I hope that the suggestions I’ve made serve to help you make the story even better! You have a great and creative mind, keep it up! ~Plagueboy23

2. Review by Starlight Uplifting3. Review by DaeCat

I don't know what to think of this.

6633171 Can you elaborate please? :unsuresweetie:

6633175

I just don't like the idea of Celestia going out of her way to be rude.

6633178 Celestia banishing Nightmare Moon is canon. If you consider that to be rude, then I guess Celestia is rude. At least in my story she pays Luna a visit from time to time.

6633184

Well, now that you bring that up, I don't really know.

Hee. This pretty much matches my headcanon Celestia. :pinkiehappy: (spoiler: not a celestia fan)

I was confused by who would write this
Then I saw the first comment and everything became clear.

6633572 We all know Luna was banished to the moon for a millennium. I just wrote what happened in between. What was it that you found confusing? And what was it that cleared up your confusion; my name, my avatar or my renown?

You make me wanna cry :fluttercry:

6635266 Thank you for playing GAME 2. The first song lost me with 'I'm shot' and 'liquor store'. I give it about 20% relevance (40% is the bare minimum). The second one, however, was very much aligned. You won the game by suggesting a video with 85% relevance. Congratulations!

6635588 I liked it but maybe you can make a sequel to where celestia finds out that was really luna and she realizes what she's done to her sister.because with the description you gave that's what I was hoping for:twilightsmile:

.....Yeeeeesh.

The whole while I was expecting this to be Luna's imagination, her solitude and paranoia as Nightmare resulted in her self mutilating herself but envisioning it to be Celestia.

It's well written, but a bit dark for my tastes. Thumbs up

6636453 But that's not how canon goes. I don't want to make it AU no matter how dark the show made it out to be.

6637348 Perhaps the beginning set up the wrong tone with its imaginary component. I wanted to make 'Luna's self insert story' shorter, but I'd be losing important information, so I couldn't cut out anything. I'm not sure, how I could make Celestia more real, though.

And yes, the story is a little on the dark side. I'm glad to hear that you could appreciate it, regardless.

6637872 kk:twilightsmile: but not for me to sound stupid but.. what is canon:facehoof::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::facehoof:

6638336

canon
Another word for official. Used quite often in fan fiction to differentiate between the official storyline in which the fan fiction is based on.
"This fan fiction story is actually pretty close to being canon written by the original author."
- Urban Dictionary

derpicdn.net/img/2012/10/15/123636/full.png

6638976 Thanks! Now I feel smarter than a day ago!:raritystarry: oh and great work with the story..and r u going to make a sequel to this:applejackunsure:

6641447 You can consider the show itself as a sequel to this story. It starts with a unicorn prodigy named Twilight Sparkle learning of the prophecy about the return of Nightmare Moon.

Your ideas may not appeal to everyone, but your writing is effective all the same.

6691419 You really think so? I thought my writing was the part that needed most improvement.

6691426

There's a clarity and focus to it that I appreciate.

I want a sequel where Luna is terrified after she returns from the moon.

6826926 Here you go:

After a thousand years of suffering Luna finally managed to hide from Celestia for long enough to cast the spell. She used the star formations as a catalyst to pave her way back to Equestria.

She was determined to let everypony know of the atrocities Celestia has committed. No longer would they need to fear her scorching sun, for Luna could protect them with Eternal Night.

But what is this now, everypony? Why willst thee harm onto us? We merely came here to help thee!

6827047 Also, would you mind if someone happened to, oh I don't know, write a sequel for this?

6836042 I wouldn't mind it at all. In fact, I'd be very honored if that were to happen.

6836417 ok, totally not going to work on that. Do not expect a story anytime soon. No really, don't, I writes when insperation strikes, and to get ideas out.

6837002 I never expect anything from nopony. This attitude of mine makes up for some pleasant surprises at times. :twilightsheepish:

If you happen to want some help with the story (ideas, editing, etc.) that you may or may not write, don't be a stranger. I'll be glad to help you out with it. All you need to do is ask.

6837454 Whwn I makes it, I will run it by you, Sao that wee can keep her character consistent. This will actually be my first time continuing someone's a story.

6837704 I'm looking forward to it. :twilightsheepish:

6837819 Do not add stories with severely OOC characters to groups about that character.

6875638 How would you react if someone just killed your sister and took her place? Would you really be benevolent about it?

6876416 Except your version of Celestia apparently has severe brain damage to not recognize her own sister. And even if someone did kill my brother, I'd simply kick their ass, not molest the bastard.

6876552 What Celestia considered as her sister never even existed. She's comparing Luna to an ideal in her mind that was never founded in reality. How could she possibly recognize her?

If you found an alien in your brother's room, could you just accept that he was always an alien, pretending to be a human?

6876606 Either way, you have Celestia acting exceedingly cruel and put the story in a group dedicated to Celestia. Why? You actively trying to piss off the members?

6876656 It's her love for her sister that drives her to do all those things.

Perhaps you're also considered as a loving person. But you, yourself, said that you would kick the ass of someone if that person hurt your brother. You might not do that for a mear stranger.

Celestia is stricken with grief and regret that she couldn't stop Nightmare Moon from harming her sister. She should have protected her more. The larger the affection for the loved one, the larger the need to enact revenge against the one who hurt the loved one is.

If anything, this story is about love and affection of Celestia toward her sister. The reason why she doesn't act like your SoL Celestia is because you haven't seen Celestia in such extreme situation before.

6877537 Yet she's molesting and torturing her. This isn't vengeance, that's active malice, a trait that has never been attributed to Celestia outside of shit like Tyrantlestia. You took her so far away from what Celestia is that she's unrecognizable. You could pull out Celestia's name and replace her with an OC and it would change shit because this isn't Celestia.

6877577 I took normal Celestia into an extreme situation. Normal persons don't behave normally in abnormal situations.

In canon, Nightmare Moon has been vilified and erased from history. It doesn't sound something like your beloved Celestia would do. It is something my Celestia would do.

What we have here is a clash of head-canons. I gave you my reasons why I hold my head-canon and I also understand the reasons why you hold your head-canon. Neither of us is right because the writers of canons have their own head-canons.

One cannot write a story that will fit all head-canons. Perhaps I'll manage to write a story, fitting to your head-canon, someday. :twilightsmile:

6877636 At the same time, mind not putting it in a Celestia group. Because she really isn't recognizable as Celestia.

6877652 Are you an admin of said group? Can you link me to it? There are like 40 Celestia's groups. I don't know which one you're referring to.

6878495 Not admin, but it was Everyday Life of Celestia

6878558 I guess you're right. This isn't every day of Celestia. It's more like once per month thingy. I removed this story from said group.

6878816 Thank you for letting me know about your opinions. I might even make a change or two in the story as a consequence of our conversation. I hope that in the future I get to impress you with some story.

(Can't remember think this is in my little oneshots) my little oneshots dose not allow adult content. Please remove it.

6898894 The description of My little one shots! says no such thing. Groups that don't allow NSFW (which this fic isn't, btw) state that clearly.

Despite all of the above, I removed the story from said group.

6899912
Thank for removing the story. It will be in the description of the group soon because I'm the boss of it and I don't like these kinds of stories and as the boss I have to read all the stories. So...sorry if I sounded rude or anything

For some reason I got a notification saying you put this back in the my little oneshots, if you did please take it out, if you didn't then it's a glitch but I got my eyes on you.

6907089 Sorry. My bad. :derpyderp1: It won't happen again. Thanks for letting me know. I see you removed it already.

Celestia is so out of character that's she's not even a character. She's simply a machine that was built to be unnecessarily sadistic. She's so out of character that her canon character was gone to the moon.... In another fucking dimension.

6936724 I agree that we don't see her act this way in canon. We had a picture of her being purely benevolent until we saw her straight up attacking Chrysalis at the Canterlot Wedding. Perhaps there's an even darker side to her.

We do know that she left her sister on the moon for a millennium and made her a bad mare in the eyes of Equestrians. Why did she do that? If what I described is the real Celestia then canon starts making sense.

The thing is, she's not doing any of these things because of being a sadist. It's for the memory of Luna who Nightmare Moon supposedly killed. She didn't manage to save her on that dreaded day but perhaps she can at least exact revenge for her death against the perpetrator, Nightmare Moon.

The more she alienates Nightmare Moon, the less responsible she can feel for Luna's faith. Being mean to Nightmare Moon is just another way of putting the guilt on her. At least that's what I was going for.

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