XIV. Not Mushroom For Harmony
"If what you say is true, we have much to discuss, and it is imperative that we find a way to return you to where you belong as swiftly as possible."
Fluttershy couldn't help but stare, wide-eyed, in awe. "Starswirl the Bearded," she breathed. "Wow."
Clover coughed. "Perhaps...we should talk inside?" she prompted, pointing to the tent flap behind Fluttershy.
"Oh? ...Oh! Yes, of course..." Fluttershy backed up into the tent, the two unicorns following her. Her eyes never left Starswirl. "Goodness...I mean, you'd think I'd be used to meeting living legends by now, but you're Starswirl the Bearded..."
"Whoa, cool!" Sweetie Belle said.
"He sure is, umm...bearded," Apple Bloom said.
"And old," Scootaloo added.
"Scootaloo!" the others hissed.
Starswirl chuckled. "I am all these things and more," he said. He examined the little group curiously. He blinked as his eyes landed upon the flanks of the Crusaders. "My word," he breathed, stepping closer. "Your Cutie Marks..."
"Yeah, we all got 'em at th' same time," Apple Bloom said. "We've been best friends for years, an' we all have th' same destiny."
"Incredible," Starswirl said. His horn lit up, and his eyes glowed a faint golden-green with sparkles trailing from the edges. He gasped. "This magic...! It's like nothing I've ever seen before!"
"It's called Trinity Magic," Sweetie Belle said. "Princess Celestia and Pri—" She suddenly found herself struck mute. She blinked.
Starswirl's eyes went back to normal, and he turned sharply to Clover the Clever. "Please wait outside," he said. "I'm afraid I must cast a silence bubble over us for a few moments."
Clover nodded and left. Starswirl cast a spell that enveloped the group in a magic field. He took a deep breath, then looked at Sweetie Belle. "Forgive me," he said. "You must be careful around whom you speak of such things."
Sweetie Belle blinked, then worked her muzzle for a moment. "Umm...sorry?" she offered.
Starswirl snorted. "In any case, I now know beyond a doubt you are not of this time," he said. "Only ponies from the future would know of Celestia and Luna." He stroked his beard. "Hmm..." He shook his head. "I would ask you more about this Trinity Magic, but I suspect I am not meant to know of it. Curious..." He looked at the fillies. "And Celestia and Luna, they're mentoring you?"
"Princess Luna isn't," Scootaloo said. "Mostly it's Princess Twilight."
Starswirl's eyes widened, his skin going pale. "You are from farther into the future than I have dared to gaze," he said softly. "I know of no Princess Twilight..." He frowned thoughtfully. "The Tree...yes...yes, of course..."
"So you already have time travel spells?" Fluttershy asked hopefully.
"Spells? No, not spells," Starswirl said distractedly. "If you know of me, surely you know that I am...shall we say, unique among unicorns?"
Fluttershy blushed. "Umm...I honestly only know what my friend Twilight has told me about you," she said. "Sorry, but studying ancient unicorns and magic isn't really something I..." She ducked her head. "I mean, it's fascinating and all, but it's a little outside my wheelhouse."
"Of course, of course," Starswirl said, nodding. "I understand entirely." He straightened up. "Then you should first know this about me: For reasons even I do not entirely understand, I am a wizard whose life is lived in reverse. As you see me now, I am yet young, and yet I know of the many things I will do as the centuries pass, if only in broad strokes at times. I have seen myself as a much younger unicorn in visage yet far older and wiser in spirit, in an age that is not yet born, performing feats I cannot fathom with my present knowledge of the world." He frowned. "It is conceivable that one day, I will possess the ability to freely brave the currents of the river of my own life, but at present, I can only see glimpses of what is to come. Very detailed glimpses that are very enlightening, I grant."
"Goodness," Fluttershy said, blinking. "Then....we need to be careful what we say about the future even to you, don't we?"
Starswirl's mustache twitched. "You understand these things well for a pegasus," he said.
Fluttershy blushed. "I...have a certain friend who isn't exactly what you'd call...well...a normal pony," she said. "And, umm...this isn't the first time I've traveled back in time."
"Really now?" Starswirl asked interestedly. "Forgive me, I should not ask, but—"
"Discord," Scootaloo said quickly. "Took all four of us on a trip to Ancient Anugypt once."
Starswirl's jaw dropped.
"Umm...that might be one of those things you really don't need to ask about," Fluttershy hedged.
"I should say," Starswirl said shakily. He shook his head. "But no matter. Of more import is how you came to be in this time in the first place."
"We're not really sure," Fluttershy said. "I mean, we'd all just finished eating lunch and we laid down for a nap. When we woke up, my cottage was gone and we were, umm...well...here," she said. "I mean, in the past, not here specifically."
"Hmm." Starswirl stroked his beard. "And nothing in particular happened that stands out? Nothing you recall? Nothing unusual about your day?"
"Not really," Fluttershy said with a shrug. "Nothing strange was happening in Ponyville, I don't think anyway...unless something happened while we were sleeping..."
"Yeah, only thing out of the ordinary today was us findin' them truffles," Apple Bloom said with a helpless shrug. "Pretty normal day until all this happened."
Starswirl looked at her sharply. "Truffles?" he asked. "Solid black, bumpy, dug from beneath a rock?"
"Yeah," Scootaloo said slowly, frowning. "Why?"
Starswirl groaned. "Time truffles," he muttered.
The fillies and Fluttershy blinked. "Umm...time truffles?" Fluttershy asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
"An extremely rare and very mischievous fungus," Starswirl said. "Though they usually only grow near areas inundated with poison joke pollen..."
"Well I do live on the edge of the Everfree Forest," Fluttershy said. "Umm...I've had a couple of...couple of experiences with poison joke..."
Starswirl blinked. "You actually live near that—nevermind." He shook his head. "Well, that solves the mystery of what happened to you all. You ingested time truffles and were transported across time into this era." He nodded firmly.
"Oh. Well. Alright then," Fluttershy said. "So...how do we, umm...how do we get back?"
Starswirl grimaced. "Therein lies the problem," he said. "I'm afraid the only way for you to return to your own time is to eat white time truffles. And even then, the results...may vary."
Fluttershy frowned. "If we eat the exact same amount of white time truffles as we ate of the black ones, would that put us back where we were?"
Starswirl made a vague gesture with his hoof. "I can't make any promises," he said. "The best I can hope for is you'll end up somewhere far enough into the future where my older self can return you to your own time." He harrumphed. "In any case, the problem is finding white time truffles in the first place." He dropped his silence bubble. "Clover!"
Clover trotted back in. "Yes, Master?"
"I must leave immediately on an expedition to find a rare magical fungus," Starswirl said briskly. "I have determined the cause of this group's displacement through time, and we must work swiftly to return them to whence they came. If you would, please look after them while I'm away."
"Of course, Master," Clover said with a respectful dip of her head.
"Thank you ever so much, sir," Fluttershy said.
Starswirl smiled. "I only hope I can truly help you find your way home," he said. With that, he teleported away...only to return a second later. "By the way, I shall need to borrow that pig."
"Buki?"
"Bumper? Oh! Because he can sniff out truffles, right? Of course," Fluttershy said, nodding.
"Good. Come along, little fellow," Starswirl said, lifting Bumper onto his back and disappearing again.
An awkward silence descended. Clover coughed. "So, umm...in about an hour we'll be gathering for a banquet. It's an important meeting, we'll be discussing the future of this new nation we're trying to build." She worried at her lip, her ears folding down. "Do we..." She raised a hoof nervously. "Does it work?" she asked softly.
Fluttershy smiled. "You know you shouldn't ask that," she said. "What you should do is trust the friendship you share with Private Pansy and Smart Cookie."
Clover blinked several times. "Umm...I think you just answered my question anyway," she said softly, eyes wide. "You...you wouldn't even know our names unless..." She looked at the three fillies, a thoughtful purse to her lips. "So this is all going to work," she said thoughtfully.
"Yes, it's going to work, but I think you and your friends still have some work to do to make sure it all works out, don't you?" Fluttershy offered mildly.
Clover set her jaw, nodding. "Of course," she said. She sighed. "Yes, there is...still much work to do. King Bullion and Princess Platinum are being...difficult."
Fluttershy grimaced. "We noticed things are still a bit...tense," she said. "I mean, at least you all seem to be working together to wrap up winter so you can plant farms and build homes, but..."
Clover tilted her head. "Wrap up winter, huh?" She pursed her lips. "I like that. I bet that could catch on. Maybe we could even make sort of a festival out of it?" She began pacing. "The Winter Wrap-Up Festival. I should talk to my friends about that!"
Fluttershy winced, ducking her head. "Me and my big mouth," she said.
Sweetie Belle giggled. "Well, now we know where Winter Wrap-Up got its name," she said teasingly.
Clover blinked. "Should I ask...? No, nevermind." She turned to leave. "I'll return in an hour to collect you all for the banquet."
"Thank you," Fluttershy said. "For everything."
Clover smiled and left.
"So...we just wait around for Starswirl to find the mushrooms we need to get home, and try not to screw up the future in the meantime?" Scootaloo asked.
"Pretty much," Fluttershy said with a sigh. "This...may be more difficult than I thought..."
* * * * *
An hour later, Clover led the group to a long, low hall at the rear of the encampment, into which a steady stream of ponies entered. "The leaders of all three tribes are gathered here," Clover said quietly. "Be respectful, they're...a bit temperamental at the moment."
Immediately upon entering the hall, they heard voices raised in ire, shouting over each other.
"You don't say," Scootaloo said flatly.
The hall was arranged in two square rings of tables, with the inner ring raised up on a hastily-assembled wooden dais. At this table sat a group of very important ponies: A broad-framed unicorn stallion with a pale gold coat and a flowing golden mane, wearing purple velvet robes and a big gold crown; a unicorn mare with a silver-white coat, wearing the same purple robes, whose flaring silver crown sat atop an elegantly-coiffed deep purple mane styled in drill-like coils that framed her face; a burly armored pegasus whose pauldrons were adorned with stars and lightning bolts, flanked by a confident, assertive mare in burnished bronze ceremonial armor and a somewhat timid-looking mare wearing similar armor to Sergeant Stormchaser's; an earth pony mare with a pale yellowish-white coat and a short, tousled brown mane who wore an outfit with a broad ruffled collar and a giant pudding-shaped hat on her head, and a greyish-brown earth pony stallion with a short, choppy mane the color of raisins, wearing a brown peasant outfit and a flared-brimmed brown cap with a feather in it.
Clover pointed at each in turn, whispering to the group. "King Bullion, Princess Platinum, General Jetstream, Commander Hurricane, Private Pansy, Chancellor Puddinghead, and Smart Cookie." She pointed along the outer ring of tables. "If you'll take seats over there, I...I have to be up on the main dais with the planning committee."
"Of course," Fluttershy said. "Good luck. Come along, girls."
On the dais, the founders of Equestria were engulfed in a heated exchange...
"But of course my dear father should rule Equestria!" Princess Platinum was saying. "He is after all a king..."
"Well I'm a Chancellor!" Chancellor Puddinghead put in. "And I'm pretty sure that outranks kings and generals—"
"What Her Excellency means to say," Smart Cookie said, shoving a hoof in Puddinghead's mouth, "is that we need equal representation for each tribe if this thing's gonna work."
General Jetstream frowned. "I'm not fond of the idea of wingless ponies dictating the actions of my pegasi," he rumbled.
Sweetie Belle turned to Fluttershy. "This guy isn't in the Hearth's Warming stories at all," she whispered.
"I thought Smart Cookie was a mare," Scootaloo added.
"History isn't really clear on some points," Fluttershy whispered back. "Now hush, we're witnessing something very important here!"
"You earth pony ruffians wouldn't know proper leadership if you were on a leash!" Princess Platinum huffed, tossing her mane. This earned shocked gasps from many ponies present.
"Why you spoiled little—" Chancellor Puddinghead growled.
Commander Hurricane got in Princess Platinum's face. "Your Uppityness would do well to behave," she said. "Just because pegasi and earth ponies can't do the kind of magic you can doesn't make you better than us!"
Clover coughed. "Everypony? This...this is exactly the kind of behavior that caused the Windigoes in the first place," she pointed out. "We're here to unite ponykind into a single nation, not...not keep acting like this."
"Clover's right," Private Pansy said. "We should be learning how to get along with each other, not...not fighting about things that aren't worth fighting about." After a pause, she added, "Umm...but I agree the unicorns shouldn't rule all of Equestria without...without pegasi and earth ponies having a say..." She ducked her head. "Sorry, not helping."
"No, you're right, Pansy," Smart Cookie said. "We need a government that works together to make fair laws and rules for everypony. Now, if you'll just listen—"
"We unicorns," King Bullion rumbled, "who invented reading and writing and the very concept of law, are best suited to the task of creating a government."
"Psh. You can write fancy laws, but without an organized military, you can't do anything to keep ponies in line!"
"Umm...I don't think you're getting the idea of how friendship and harmony work at all..."
"No duh!" Chancellor Puddinghead said. "Even I get it and I'm a puddinghead!"
Princess Platinum snorted. "Too easy," she said airily.
Chancellor Puddinghead blinked. "H-HEY!" She jumped up and down angrily. "You...you little—!"
"STOP!" Sweetie Belle shrieked.
The squabbling adult ponies fell silent, turning to stare at her. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo moved in tighter at her sides, planting their hooves firmly.
"Sweetie Belle!" Fluttershy hissed, eyes wide and wings flared in alarm. "What are you doing?!"
"Excuse me," King Bullion said, tilting his muzzle up and glaring imperiously at her. "You children are here only by the grace of my court sage. We are deciding the fate of all ponykind. We are establishing the very leadership of a pony nation. By what right do you interrupt our great work?"
Sweetie Belle cringed, but at Apple Bloom's gentle urging, she stood tall. "You're not deciding anything, you're just shouting at each other and insulting each other!" she said. "And I'm sorry, but Chancellor Puddinghead and the pegasi are right! Unicorns shouldn't rule Equestria! Even if you start out alright, even if you mean well, it won't be right to have the unicorns in charge!"
"HAH! You see?" Commander Hurricane said, pointing a hoof at Sweetie Belle. "This unicorn doesn't think you should rule over us!"
"That's right!" Chancellor Puddinghead said. "My plan for a council of leaders from each tribe will—"
"Not work either," Scootaloo interrupted forcefully. "They'd maybe get some things done at first, and maybe they'd start out with good intentions, but sooner or later the unicorns, the earth ponies, and the pegasi would all want different things the other tribes don't agree with, and you'd go right back to what you were before."
"Well then what, pray tell, do you children suggest?" Princess Platinum asked in an exasperated tone, throwing up her hooves.
"Y'all need a leader who understands whut everypony needs," Apple Bloom said. "Somepony who won't play favorites, who ain't on any one tribe's side!"
The adults looked around at one another.
"Yeah...so how do you suggest we find a pony like that?" Commander Hurricane demanded, gesticulating wildly. "Any pony we put in charge of Equestria is gonna be from one of the three tribes!"
"Not if it's an alicorn," Sweetie Belle said.
A hush fell over the room. Fluttershy folded her ears down and facehoofed.
"An alicorn..." King Bullion said in a reverent whisper. "Child...alicorns are practically a myth."
"Nopony's seen an alicorn in hundreds of moons," Chancellor Puddinghead said.
"Alicorns aren't even real," Commander Hurricane said dismissively.
Clover coughed. "Umm...actually," she said quietly. "I, umm..." She shuffled her hooves. "I know how we can find an alicorn."
All eyes turned to her.
Clover scratched one fetlock with her other hoof. "Master Starswirl...he takes a sabbatical every six moons to visit the alicorns. He could...he could ask them."
The assembled ponies began whispering excitedly amongst themselves. After several long moments of hushed but heated debate, King Bullion raised a hoof for silence, then swept his gaze across the room. "I...would not object to having an alicorn rule Equestria," he said. "Alicorns are said to be wise and powerful, and would no doubt lead our new nation to peace and prosperity. What say you, my fellows?"
Chancellor Puddinghead shrugged. "Works for me. We're honestly gonna be too busy planting crops and growing food for everypony to bother trying to rule Equestria. We just want everything to be fair."
"As long as whoever's running this show has wings, that's good enough for me," General Jetstream said. This earned a few glares from the other ponies.
"It's decided then," King Bullion said. "Clover, see to this immediately. Inform Starswirl the Bearded of our decision and our request. Ask him to beseech the alicorns on our behalf."
"At once, Your Majesty," Clover said, bowing before hurrying from the room.
"Well then," Chancellor Puddinghead said, rubbing her hooves together. "Looks like we don't have anything else to do until we hear back from Starswirl. Let's have a feast!"
The atmosphere turned from tense and quiet to jubilant as servants hurried food out to all the tables and serving dishes were quickly emptied onto the waiting plates of hungry ponies. As they loaded their plates with vegetable stew and bread and stewed berries, Fluttershy looked at the three fillies with a flat, nonplussed expression. "You do realize what you've done, right?"
"Yeah yeah, we interfered in history, but does it matter?" Scootaloo asked. "You saw what was happening there, right?"
"They needed a nudge," Apple Bloom said.
Fluttershy sighed. "Perha—"
"Pardon me."
Sergeant Stormchaser had trotted up behind them, eliciting a squeak from Fluttershy. "Y-yes?" she asked meekly.
Stormchaser looked the four of them over. "The odd things you have said since I discovered you, and now this sudden suggestion about how Equestria should be ruled..." He narrowed his eyes. "Just who are you ponies?"
Fluttershy and the Crusaders looked at each other. Scootaloo shrugged. Apple Bloom shook her head. Fluttershy ducked behind her hair.
Sweetie Belle looked up at Stormchaser. "We're just a bad mushroom dream you're having," she said, wriggling her hooves at him. "We're not really here..."
The others facehoofed.
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So the future does depend on them! Interesting! ... Or they just sped things along... Either or...
Yes.
Typo:
What ae you doing?! > What are you doing?!
Wait so Starswril the Bearded is like Merlin? That would definitely pipe Twilight's interest if she is ever told.
Dammit Sweetie.
Excellent chapter.
"Again? Master, this is the third time this month."
"It is hardly my fault if magical fungi are the solution to many problems."
In any case, a fascinating and appealingly Merlinic take on Star Swirl, with some bootstrap paradoxes thrown in for flavor. Let's just hope the fillies don't make so much of an impact that they wind up in the history books... assuming that's even possible under these time travel laws.
So it's thanks to the Crusaders that Alicorns rule Equestria? Interesting. I don't know why, but I have the sneaky suspicion that the three soldiers that Celestia was talking about was actually the Crusaders.
Looking forward to see what's next.
8372189
Pretty sure it's a thing Twilight would already know, actually. It's just not necessarily something Fluttershy who is not Twilight Sparkle would know.
8372164
Fixing momentarily. Published from my phone after posting from my PC, it's a pain in the ass to fix one small typo in the mobile version.
8372242
You're not the first to assume that. You're not the first to be wrong about that either.
Why didn't Fluttershy shut them up?
8372257
It's Fluttershy. With that much attention on them, she choked.
8372256
Darn it.
So, Starswirl is basically Benjamin Button
?!
Uuuuuuuum . . . OKAY THEN!!!!
8372337
No, he's Merlin. Merlin is the origin of that trope.
8372349
All I know about Merlin is what's shown in the TV show and that crappy Disney movie. Neither of those depict Merlin with a Benjamin Button complex. Sorry for being out of the loop.
References to Arthurian lore and unintentional predestination paradoxes. Fun!
paradox galore heh heh heh
i wonder whether fluttershy will have to deal with drunken ponies hitting on her
Can't wait till Twilight hear everything that happen here.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the master of deception...
This is not going to end well.
I have never gotten how that "live my life in reverse" works. It always strikes me as a very Medieval-thinking thing (like all the mythological beasts described with multiple heads and mouths and legs which sounds impressive verbally and then completely ceases to make sense when you start to think about it visually and/or logically). I mean, the first place my mind goes when someone says "I live my life in reverse" is how does that work with birth and death and childhood and whatnot. (Because if they actually mean what they mean, then... Think about what that would do to the mother, for example. Which, one suspects, simply was not the chap (and for once, quite likely a chap not a chappess, though I could be wrong) that first said that of Merlin, never gave the slightest thought to...
Might be just that horrible, practical engineering-y mindset creeping in.
C'mon. though, does anypony around here that isn't the sort of question Twilight would ask too, if given half a chance? Because Science (of magic) would want to know...
8379047
Such beings usually are not born to a mortal woman, but more come into existence in some magical means. That, or they're born to a god or a witch. In which case, it's best to just not think about the circumstances.
Hey wait a second, that's just Rarity in a Ren Faire costume! Did she eat the truffles too?
The weirdest thing about this is not that Smart Cookie was the stallion of the group, but rather that Commander Hurricane wasn't.
Bad Fluttershy! Stop causing ontological paradoxes!
Accidentally installed an immortal alicorn diarchy, check.
And they end up in the far future where the Sea Otters reign supreme...
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100303064852/southpark/images/0/01/GoGodGoXII13.jpg
8382015 Those paradox-eating praying mantis sharks from "Doctor Who: Father's Day" are gonna start showing up any minute now and start gobbling ponies up!
Yay! A "Starswirl is basically Merlin" thing done right!
And this is my favorite story right now.
8387540
That's fine, Fluttershy could talk them into helping.