His name is Free, and he was a slave. But when he found his opening and escaped his owners, he finds that the wasteland holds its own horrors. Will he remain uncorrupted? Or will the wasteland wittle away all that he holds dear until he breaks?
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Awesome XD
You forgot the Vaults. The Vaults (or Stables, and if you're that picky then off is the general direction in which i wish you would fuck) were not actually designed to keep people safe. They were actually Social Experiments funded by the government, and then when the threat of planet-wide nuclear war smacked them in the face, they decided to repurpose a couple of them to be safely inhabited for extra money. Most, however, were unchanged, save for some uniforms and what was on the doors. Those were horrifically deadly to anyone inside. Hell, one was BUILT with a crucial design flaw to LET the radiation in, just to see what would fucking happen!
I mean, good intro, but unless this isn't part of the canon universe, then something MAJOR is missing.
And for those of you coming into the Fallout lore with no previous knowledge? You're welcome. I put spoilers up over the bits with spoilers.
And for those of you that didn't want spoilers, but hovered over them anyway?
Well, that's you're own fucking fault, isn't it?
6868503 Ha, I really like you XD you have got a great outlook.
No sarcasm intended.*
Nice intro, but a bit on the short side I must say. It yells FoE, but it does nothing for telling the reader why this story would stand out from the rest, so for a first impression would I say that I have seen better.
Think of your introduction chapter as the intro to a videogame, you want to get your readers pumped, you want them to be pulled into the setting that you are doing, and you want to make them to desire clicking that "next chapter" button. You had the proper tone, but not enough to grab us with.
8876768
Thank you very much for your input.
I always felt like this was the intro dialogue to the original Fallout, where Ron Perlman starts off with "War. War never changes." It gives the reader the setting but not necessarily the plot of the story.
The prologue gives the main character and his motivation.
As its been posted for some time now, I am hesitant to make any changes to the introduction, but I do hope it will not keep you from reading and hopefully enjoying the rest of the story.
8876853
it is time for a re-read. i did say i was to do a reveiw and i plan on it i will forge ahead. for the glory of sanginious and THE EMPEROR