Refined Starlight in a Broken Vessel

by the-pieman

Chapter 52

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Ugh, friggenfuckin’ birds...

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Yeah, I’m up already. Damnit, why can’t I wake up myself, huh? Gotta force my day to start at five in the bloody morning.

Tired... can’t go back to sleep with that racket.

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Okay, geez, getting up already. Oof. Man, fuck nature. Usual routine. Yawn, stretch, put on regular clothes, lament lack of superpowers, etcetera etcetera...

I should probably get my clothes washed. Hair’s already long enough for getting another cut, I suppose. I should get my shoes replaced somehow, treads are mostly worn smooth and there’s holes in them from stomping on that spiked demon. The fabric is very clearly worn out to the point that some of the interior is visible.

Why does life have to require an upkeep cost?

Not much I can do about it now, though. Might as well get the day started so it can be over with sooner. Heading downstairs I see Twilight is already up and at the table. “Breakfast ready yet?”

Twilight cocks an eyebrow at me. “That sounds a little demanding, don’t you think?”

“Hey, I made breakfast yesterday.” I defend as I tiredly make my way to the squat, pony-sized table.

“Yeah.” Spike replies from the kitchen doorway. “You used up nearly all the eggs, and didn’t bother to wash any of the stuff you cooked with.”

I kneel down at the table with a half yawn half groan. “I was a little busy being kicked out of the library for the day. Figured if I didn’t, Twilight was gonna hurl me through a wall.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about all that.” Twilight apologizes. “Thanks for understanding and helping me relax yesterday. It was a... stressful last few days.”

“It’s no big deal.” I wave it off. “But what kind of test requires you leaving for several days in the first place?”

Twi takes a deep breath and sighs. “Not the kind I was expecting or prepared for. I assumed it would be scholastic.”

“Like you do for everything...” I point out which earns me a dismissive noise of vague irritation.

“Either way, it turns out Princess Celestia wanted me to go out on an adventure of sorts.”

“Quest.” I correct her. “An adventure is a trip without a specific goal, a quest is one with an ultimate purpose.”

Twilight pouts. “And a journey is when the trip itself is more important than the goal, I know. I was just... feh.”

“Does little Sparkle not like being corrected?” I grin and pat her on the head lightly in a condescending manner. “Isn’t she cute when she’s being a hypocrite?”

Twilight frowns and bats my hand away. “As I was saying. Princess Celestia wanted me to go to where a long-forgotten metropolis in the Northern mountain wastes had been released from temporal displacement and started to, well, exist again. Then once at the Crystal Empire, I was to exorcise the previously-dead King Sombra, who had returned as a shade. We needed to prevent him from returning to his full power and enslaving the Crystal ponies again.”

What kind of crazy story is that? “Let me guess, he was ultimately defeated by the power of love?”

“Well I suppose the Crystal Heart, the artifact that was key to banishing his Shade, is empowered by positive emotion so... partially yes.”

“Uh huh. And did any of this happen to involve the consumption of any special mushrooms at some point?”

“What do edible mushrooms have to do with anything?” Twilight asks, looking rather confused. “No, there weren’t any mushrooms. Anyways, it wasn’t easy. It started off okay, but it became difficult to keep the Crystal ponies happy while Sombra’s shade and radiating influence of negativity was growing stronger the closer he got. Things became... rather stressful. I’ll admit I had a bit of a personal catastrophe.” She sighs pretty hard. “It all came down to destroying Sombra with the Crystal Heart, but things weren’t going so well and... I guess you could say I was having a difficult time keeping my composure.”

Spike walks out from the kitchen, a bit of a spring in his step. “So while everypony else was trying to deal with Sombra’s weird dark-crystal-growing stuff, I grabbed the Crystal Heart and that’s how we ended up winning!”

Twilight smiles, perking up a bit and giving Spike a hug which he eagerly returns. “Yes, that’s one way to look at it. Thank you, Spike.”

I lean back a bit, stretching my legs out from my kneeling. “I’ll be honest. If it weren’t for the obvious fact supported by various townsfolk that you’re a walking weirdness magnet, I’d say there’d be zero chance that wasn’t made up.”

“I assume you mean to believe me?” I just nod in response and she continues. “Good, now that I’ve told my part of the last few days, you can explain what happened to the library while we were away.”

I wince and sigh, already more tired than before. “Not so much what happened as who happened. I had to harbor an uninvited guest for the night and it didn’t go so well.”

“This pony knocked the majority of the books off their shelves, ruined several of them beyond recovery, broke the bathroom window, made a large crater in the side yard, and left you with a mounted head of a large timberwolf? Who, exactly, could do all of that?”

I grumble a bit. “First thing to note, she didn’t knock the books off the shelves, that was you while you were ‘preparing’ for your test and left that mess for me to try cleaning up.”

Twilight pauses and blushes, looking down as she clops her forehooves together in an embarrassed manner, Spike taking this chance to get back to the kitchen. “Ah... yes, right I... I did that, didn’t I?”

“Was like a hurricane ripped through the place.” I say before continuing. “Anyways, how it happened was this: Some random mare showed up at the door calling herself Gladius and saying she’s like my aunt or some shit. I didn’t really know who she was at the time, only that she was a very rambunctious pegasus who came armed with a sword and had notable interest in me for whatever reason, saying she wanted to meet me.” I sit back up before continuing. “She had this great idea that we should go out hunting, and since this mare was running around with a blade and was acting nuts, I figured I’d follow along to make sure she didn’t hurt herself.”

Twilight nods in approval. “That would be the responsible thing to do if she was delusional and had acquired a weapon.”

“Yeah, that was my reasoning too. Anyways she pretty much drags me out to the Everfree forest and I keep suggesting we just go back, since I don’t have my powers to help save her if things turn ugly. She doesn’t listen, go figure, and we end up finding some timberwolves. I’m stuck just trying to avoid them whilst she goes full madhouse on them, swinging that sword around and actually doing a lot of damage, tearing chunks off of their wooden bodies. During the brawl I get a hold of her sword and fight off the timberwolf that was after me. Meanwhile she’s wrestling the big one to death all by herself, completely unarmed and about a third its size.”

Twilight is looking a bit doubtful of my story now. I continue my explanation.

“After she wins, she says we should go celebrate with drinks and I direct her to the Frothy Mug, hoping she’d normalize a bit once we get back to town. Nope, I barely remember anything after ordering my first drink. Apparently I was convinced to continue to the point where I don’t remember anything.” I sigh at the lack of memory. “By the time I come to, it’s the next morning and I’m laying with a pile of torn and dirty books and the head of the Alpha Timberwolf, fully mounted as a trophy, laying beside me. Berry Punch came by to check on me while I was still recovering from my first ever hangover. She tells me that I left the bar with two more mares, who I meet here at the library shortly after Berry leaves. Thankfully they’re entirely sober and from what I gather nothing, ah, intimate happened with either of them to my tremendous relief, and they just leave after saying goodbye. So I’m obviously pissed off at Gladius, who doesn’t seem hungover at all, and she starts making rather sexual suggestions before I finally ask why the heck she’s even here. She claims she was sent down to check on me since the ‘others’ saw me ‘dim’, and that’s when I piece it together that she’s one of the Constellations.”

Twilight seems both interested and unconvinced at the same time, but doesn’t interrupt.

“Shortly after that, Galeam shows up at the door as well, quiet iceberg of a stallion who is also a Constellation. Total sourpuss but I figure he can get his insane horny sister out of the library and back to where she came from. Turns out that I’m right in that assumption, but it involves him having to beat her up to do so, all ending with Gladius being tossed out the window and Galeam making the crater when he lands on her before poofing them back into space or whatever. Gladius left her sword behind and it’s started following me. Berry said I left it at the Frothy Mug and was returning it, but before she could give it to me it was already inside and resting by the doorway, which isn’t even the only time it’s teleportd itself to be near me. I figure it’s another of the constellations’ magical artifacts like the Lyre.” I take a deep breath to recover from my tirade. Sometimes I miss not needing to breathe. “And that’s how my time off went.”

Twilight doesn’t seem to believe me. “So that’s your excuse? Some crazy tall tale about meeting another constellation, rather two of them, one of which happens to act like some crazed madmare? Anthony, if you made a mess you can just tell me.”

I frown. “Oh, I see, and your story which involves ghosts of ancient tyrants and an entire mega-city just randomly appearing out of nowhere for no reason and some race of ponies that weren’t even previously confirmed to have existed... makes so much more sense?”

Twilight’s turn to frown. “To start with, there are at least unproven historical records that a Crystal Empire existed at some point, though nopony alive knew what happened to it. But the Constellations... they’re practically a myth as far as anypony could ever say. The only reason I believed them to be real is because Princess Luna says they are real and she’s a trustworthy source. They’ve never come down to Terra ever, until you say you met Lyra. Then Libra and now two more in the span of several months? The only reason I believe that you met one of them is because you have that Lyre. Now you expect me to believe that another one gave you the Sword as well? You must admit it sounds very outlandish.”

Thankfully I’m not without a counter argument. “Oh? Then please explain how I could have, entirely unassisted, slain and mounted the head of an alpha timberwolf and created a crater like that by total accident, all without any of my powers available to me.”

Twilight fidgets in place a bit as she visibly attempts formulating a counter argument. “Uh... well, I suppose it’s a bit far-fetched but not... impossible?” She has no idea why I could be wrong, but still isn’t saying I’m right. I hate people like that.

I give an aggravated sigh and get up to head to my room, I check the spot I hid the Sword as well as the Lyre in and both are laying right there as I left them. I go to grab the weapon and once my hand is relatively close, it shifts to have it’s handle magnetize to my hand, showing its odd attraction to me. I come back downstairs with the Sword in my hand, presenting it to Twilight when I get back to the table. “Is this ‘outlandish’ or ‘unbelievable’?”

Twilight looks interested and her horn lights. A glow of similar color envelops the Sword and she lifts it up slightly before gasping in shock, the Sword falling from her magical grasp. The weapon clatters to the floor and lays there for a few seconds before lightly floating up into my open hand, visibly stating its preferences.

“That- The arcane energies that sword is giving off, it-”

“It’s real.” I reply dumbly, the obvious having been finally stated. “And I couldn’t exactly have this if the original owner didn’t bring it to me, right?”

Twilight stammers for a bit, settling on “R-r-right...” and then going into a mumbled rant that I can’t really hear, but sounds like word salad from where I’m standing.

“So.” I figure I’d change the subject to something more important to me. “How’s breakfast coming?”

“Gonna take a little while.” Spike replies from the kitchen. “I wasn’t expecting to have to wash my good knife or any pans first.”

“Speaking of, where’s the cutting board? I couldn’t find it, had to use the countertop for chopping stuff.”

“You- You used the countertop!?” Spike shouts, as if this is a cardinal sin.

“I didn’t have a cutting board so I washed the counter like three times before using it instead.” I explain, though he still doesn’t seem enthused.

“It’s in the third drawer left of the oven!” He says, coming out of the kitchen.

I roll my eyes. “And I’m just supposed to know that? I couldn’t have asked either since you were apparently off in another country.”

“Well now you do know, and if you need to find anything else, try asking before I leave for something or other alright?”

Time to change subjects. “Fine. So what are you making?”

“Well, I was starting with a quiche, but I didn’t expect to be down to two eggs. Wasn’t sure what to go with instead, but I remembered I had the stuff to make some crepes.” I wince at his pronunciation.

“It’s not... nevermind.” I sigh. “It’s fine.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.” He replies, confusion evident in his voice. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Your pronunciation was wrong.” Twilight fills in for me. “Crêpe doesn’t have a long ‘A’ sound in it, it’s an ‘eh’ sound. The plural form doesn’t have an ‘S’ at the end, either.”

I raise an eyebrow in Twilight’s direction. “You know French?”

Twilight nods her head in a ‘so-so’ manner. “Prench was the language I took for college. I... honestly didn’t take to it as well as I thought I would but... I retained some of it.” She says, and Spike just shrugs.

“Whatever. You want them or not?”

“Aside from the fact it’s not a breakfast food in actual French cuisine... sure.” I say, returning the shrug. “Oh, and don’t load it with powdered sugar or whatever.” I remind him. “Too many French foods just get adapted to oversugared variants so frequently.” I’ll ask for peanut butter if he doesn’t think to serve them with it.

Twilight nods. “Cultural differences are odd and get changed in translation, for lack of a better phrase. For one, we treat most of their lunch or dinner foods as breakfast items because they’re baked goods, which we only ever have for breakfast or as desserts.”

“Yep.” I nod my agreement. “C’est la vie.”

She looks at me for about ten seconds before wincing. “I should know what that translates to...”

“You’ve been out of classes for a while and haven’t practiced it at all from what I can tell. You shouldn’t be expected to remember things like that. At least that’s my opinion.” I offer my defense, which she accepts. “Nobody judges you as harshly as yourself, you need to give yourself a break more often. That’s why you’re so high-strung if you ask me. Your greatest detractor is literally inside your head.”

Twilight frowns. “Not literally inside my head, but...”

“No, literally could apply here since your inner paranoia is the only thing that fits the description of your greatest detractor, and it only exists inside your metaphorical mind, colloquially referred to as ‘your head’. So there.” I stick out my tongue in victory, which she returns, smiling shortly after.

“So you’re saying I get in my own way more often than not? Reminds me of someone else I know.” Her tone is playful, and it’s nice having a civil, even friendly back-and-forth with her.

I simply nod, grinning. “I know. Rainbow Dash is so bad about that, she should keep her ego in check.”

Twilight crosses her eyes a bit in confusion then rolls them. “I meant you!”

“Me!?” I feign shock, my hand clutching at my chest in melodramatization. “But I am clearly an utterly flawless person with absolutely no flaws whatsoever, clearly!”

“Also a compulsive liar.” She verbally jabs, a small grin on her face.

“You bet I am!”

Spike calls from the kitchen. “You both realize that this is why almost everypony in town thinks you two are secretly dating, right?”

“They don’t say that!” Twilight says immediately, but pauses. “...do they?”

I shrug. “I mean, there’s that rumor in Canterlot that I have a sexual relationship with either of the princesses. Which, you know, totally gross.”

“Okay, that we agree on.” Twilight says, making a disgusted face. “I don’t think they even have a ‘type’ they’d be interested in.”

I think for a moment. “Immortal would likely be on their list of requirements. So they wouldn’t have to fall in love, marry them, watch them grow old and eventually bury them. Just a thought.”

“Yeah... but nopony like that has come around in a long while. You’re the most recent in the last two hundred years, and you’re not actually immortal at that.” Twilight notes.

“I’m pretty sure that’s why they think I’d be with them in any sense. Seriously though, I’m not touching that.”

Twilight sighs. “While I agree that you wouldn’t be right for them at all, it is fully documented that having a romantic relationship can reduce stress... and general stress just so happens to be what I think makes you so irritable all the time.”

I grin. “I’ll get an S.O. when you do, Captain Neuroses.”

“I don’t need a special somepony.” She refutes with a wave of her hoof. “I’m perfectly fine as I am.”

“Then I’m the same.” I stick out my tongue again.

“Some days, I feel like I’m the only sane one in this household.” Spike says with a sigh as he brings out breakfast.

“You got that right, buddy.” I deliver a thumbs-up, to which he chuckles. “So, what’s on the agenda today?”

“Well, I was planning on doing some reading. I was getting through a book the night before I got Princess Celestia’s summons.” Twilight explains as we take our portions.

“I like to read, and I know this is a library and all, but there’s not really much else to do around here.” I complain. “Some variety would be nice.”

“Like what?” Spike asks. “I mean, yeah we live here, but this is a public library, not just our house. That’s why there’s mostly books. They’re what other ponies come here for.”

I prop my head up with my elbow as I eat, noting I’m the only one eating my crêpe rolled up, rather than like a flapjack. “Idunno, maybe some cards or board games or what-have-you. Doesn’t help that a public library for ponies doesn’t have anything gripping. You have thrillers, but they aren’t as thrilling as I’d like if you get what I mean. Even your dark subjects don’t get that dark.”

“It all comes down to taste.” Twilight points out. “It’s not about what you want, but what the majority wants, and so far I haven’t gotten a single complaint about our available selection, meaning that we have what Ponyville wants. Granted, I’d like to get more books to stock, but there’s only so much shelf space.”

“Yeah.” I say as I spear another bite of food with my fork. “Maybe carving a building out of a tree and therefore limiting your options for expansion wasn’t such a good idea, as visually interesting as it is.”

“Structural decisions made dozens of years before I inherited this building aside...” Twilight replies flatly. “I guess I can add some things to my day’s schedule, if you have any ideas.”

“Nah, not really.” I continue eating. Spike is really good at this, I can see why Twilight seems to develop pudge any time she doesn’t exercise. “I do have some things I need taken care of, though.”

Twilight looks up from her food. “Oh? Like what?”

“To start, getting my shoes repaired is high on my list. Or replaced. Replaced is more likely the simpler option... if you ponies can make shoes like mine, of course.”

“What are they made of, exactly? I haven’t really looked at them.” Twilight asks before taking another bite.

I look at the battered footwear I’ve got on. “Well, typically the soles are made of rubber, molded to have indentations so I get traction. But these are worn down quite a bit so they’re pretty flat.”

“Alright, that’s... at least possible to get done.” Twilight replies. “Not sure where to get textured rubber off the top of my head though.”

“Yeah. Also, the part my feet go in are fabric textiles like nylon or polyester.” I pause. “That’s about all I know without any sort of research. I guess you could borrow one to look over if that would help.”

Twilight shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know much about that sort of thing without reading up on it. I don’t know who to ask about the rubber, but if the cloth part is a particular form of fabric, I’d ask Rarity first.”

“Yeah, alright. I could probably get more clothes from her while I’m at it. I need more than one shirt, and my pants could use tailoring.”

“Wait.” Spike says, looking up from his plate. “Didn’t Rarity make that suit for you a while ago? Why not wear that?”

I nod. “I still have it, but I’m not gonna wear it just for clothes. It’s pretty fancy, and I’m not big on wearing fancy stuff unless for a special occasion. I’ll wear that suit if I want to look nice, but not gonna just wear it around town. I’d rather have more practical clothes for that.”

“That may take a bit of convincing.” Twilight chuckles. “Rarity doesn’t really make clothes for being practical. She says it’s not what she opened her business to do. Though I figure she’d do it anyways, she just likes making fancy things much more than she likes making plain things.”

“That’s fair.” I say as I finish eating. “Hard to make a living by trying to drive a basic, solid-color tee shirt as a ‘fashion statement’. Might go see her later. Don’t have much else to do today anyways.”

I get up and take my plate back to the kitchen and lay it in the sink. “Might need some money for her to work on them though, I’m flat broke. Don’t even recall how I paid for whatever I drank at Berry’s the other day.”

“Well, non-functional clothing is typically a luxury item for ponies, but you are a different case... I suppose I could consider this a livelihood-related necessity and give you some money for this.” Twilight says from the main room. “Afterwards though, you should really look into finding your own source of income. Supporting you doesn’t really cost much at all, but you should be more financially independent.”

“Fair ‘nough.” I say as I return. “Should wait a little while before heading over, though. She strikes me as the type to use ‘needing beauty rest’ as an excuse to sleep until two-thirty in the afternoon.”

Twilight chuckles. “Nothing like that. Though everypony said they’d take a few days slow after getting back since the Crystal Empire was rather exhausting, so I’m not sure any of them will be doing much more than recuperating until tomorrow. You can go by Rarity’s anyways, though don’t be surprised if she’s closed for the day.”

“Fair ‘nough” I repeat as I stretch a bit. “Wouldn’t hurt to check at least.”

Twi nods. “Alright. Also, if she is willing to take a commission today, I have some Bits you can have to pay her in advance.” She gets up and brings back a small coinpurse that she empties out into my hand. I pocket the money and she returns to her seat. I never thought I’d be so blasé about dropping a fistful of solid gold coins into my pocket and walking off with them.