• Member Since 29th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 17th, 2017

PonIver


Midwest Brony. Really appreciate critiques, especially if you catch grammatical errors. I'm far more used to prose and poetry than narrative, so any advice, hate mail, etc. is appreciated.

T
Source

It has been over a decade since Twilight had to make a heartfelt farewell to Ponyville and return to Canterlot. The stress of her duties has gotten the best of her though, and she returns to Ponyville to reunite with old friends and learn what they've been up to. Her journey finds itself full of hilarity, heartbreak, romance and tragedy, as Twilight must learn all over again the true meaning of friendship.

Original cover by Avlo-Jack

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 478 )

671914

Thank you, my roommate drew it, and I really want to put it on a t-shirt.

Too quiet! :raritycry: I wanna see where you are going with this!

671972

I'm sorry if it was too slow, but I will at least say I plan on the next chapter revealing Pinkie Pie's fate, but mostly being about Rainbow Dash. Expect each of the Mane Six to have their own chapter. Not sure if anyone else will be included though.

This is really good. I mean REALLY GOOD. I really hope that you're planning to continue this. :pinkiehappy:

672023

Write on!:rainbowlaugh: I love all of the ponies anyway... I can't pick a favorite:twilightsheepish: Take your time.

672048

Absolutely! I'm just trying to figure out how to write an original conclusion for each character that doesn't result in me getting hate mail. I don't want cheesy happy endings for all, but I'm definitely not going to give anybody a sad ending just to upset their fans.

672082

Ah, when writing I've always had troubles with conclusions too. But you shouldn't design your endings simply to appease fans. If you want the story to end in a way that makes sense, but upsets a few people, I say go for it. All that matters is that you've written something that you can be proud of. And so far, you should be very proud. :twilightsmile:

672112

Thanks!

I'm sure what I have planned for Pinkie will get a laugh from people, but I think the next chapter is going to have a lot of sad/tragic in it.

672135

Don't worry about it. Your description seemed to cover that there would bee some sadness in this, so anyone here should know what they're getting into.

SURPRISE! You think she'd expect it with Pinkie being Pinkie and all. Silly adorkable Twi.

Spike is still the man, and its sad that Rarity still doesn't see it. :moustache::heart::raritywink:

I laughed pretty hard when i read the letter Celestia had a interesting way of saying what she wanted.

672169

Yeah I know it's kind of an obvious "to be continued" lol

I like to think that in 15 years Twilight has forgotten what to expect.

And who said Rarity doesn't know? All I said was the love was unrequited. Her story will come....

672189 Well I meant more that it was unrequited, than she didn't notice.

*applause*
I'm really liking this story. It'll be interesting to see what happens next. Moar, please!

Oh dear. How could Twilight forget about Pinkie's (un)predictable habits?:derpytongue2:

First of all, imma give you a thumbs up because your cover photo is so awesome. Second of all, I'll track to read later. Sounds interesting.

672456

Thanks. I've been wanting to use that ever since my friend drew it.

...It astounds me that this isn't in the featured box yet. :pinkiegasp:

Great work!

685857

That means a lot. I don't think updates get attention though. Gonna give the next chapter some time.

You have to have some hard hits for updates to get attention. Mayor Pinkie both thrills and scares me. Hmm clearly you were making a point by not having Rarity and Twilight meet I'm interested to see how that'll play out. Angel has kids... the spawn of all evil had his own spawn... well good for him, bad for Equestria.

687591

Good. Mayor Pinkie is a scarier concept than President Palin.

I wasn't sure where I was going with the Angel thing. I needed something Fluttershy related without revealing too many details. She'll have her own chapter soon.

Rarity...well mum's definitely the word on that one...

Will track this out of curiosity. It was well written, but chapter 1 wasn't enough to bring much attention to it. But still, chapter 2 was very good. I just have a bit of trouble because, sometimes, you use words that aren't supposed to be there. Nothing too glaring, though.

690098

Please anything you can point out is appreciated. I don't have anyone I can go to for editing, and more often than not I'm editing others instead of writin myself. I was hoping someone would find some sort of inconsistency that I overlooked.

this is amazing:pinkiehappy: i never thought such a story could be so interresting:twilightblush:

697538

Because it needs a LOT of work lol. I've begun to notice some things beyond what others have pointed out. After I finish chapter 3 I'm going to take some time to edit things. Mostly thing involving Scootaloo and Celestia that I think may have fell short.

Also, it's FIMFiction. Not clop = not featured :raritycry:

Pinkie's the mayor! Crazy!

Rainbow Dash is a famous writer! Astounding!

Mystery surrounds both Fluttershy and Rarity! Suspense!

Applejack is... er...

:ajbemused: - Still bucking apples.

Um...

:ajsleepy: - Typecast before mah time. Sigh!

Woooooooooooooooaaaaah~ reading a sad romance.

earth? what is this earth that spike speaks of?:rainbowlaugh:

716174

Lol. Thank you. I keep missing these things. I read over and over making sure I say hooves instead of hands and miss crap like that

"Clopping grounds". Oh Molestia, you're still that sex addicted mare we all know and love.

THIS. IS. EPIC. the first person to make a decent romance with Big MAc and FLuttershy with the exception of "He was afraid he’d done something terrible, but Applejack cleared it up and told him that I was there the whole time making sure he got better" seriously? did that one sentence have to be there to ruin the story? otherwise, i tip my hat to you sir. have a :moustache:

:raritycry: The last sentence made me cry!!! But it's a good, original fic. Props to you, my friend. :pinkiehappy:

716236

Lol sorry for that. Just thought that Applejack would play a joke on them since it was her fault in the first place. Fluttershy was passed out at the time so all she knows is what Applejack told her :ajsmug:

Okay, I'm liking this so far, but...there was correspondence between Twilight and Spike, right? You think he would have mentioned this sort of thing!

"So, Rarity's doing great. Also, Pinkie is the new mayor, Rainbow Dash screwed up her wings saving Scootaloo from a dragon, and Fluttershy is pregnant with Big Macintosh. Just thought you should know."

It's a good story, certainly, showing a pony going back to a world she hasn't been a part of for a long time, but she shouldn't be totally oblivious to...everything, pretty much!

Words cannot even begin to describe the level of awesomeness bound within this chapter. <.>

Initial reaction to this chapter:
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2579-132797247270.jpg

But I'm left wondering: How in the hay has happened to Rarity? For some reason I feel like it's something "bad", seeing as she hasn't appeared yet and there's been no mention of her since the party.
-Glassed

716365

Glad you noticed that. I wasn't sure when I wrote chapter 1 if I was seriously going to keep on, nor did I know what storylines I would write the Mane Six into. I'm taking a break before chapter 4 to change some details with Spike and Scootaloo. Also I want to make it clearer how much of Twilight's time has been spent out of Equestria during the last several years, and how her headstrong attitude made her oblivious to everything but her work.

716394

Thanks, and mum's the word on Rarity. She has her part to play in all this. I wrote a short cameo for her while Twilight and Fluttershy went shopping, but cut it out, as I felt it drew away from the Fluttershy narrative.

FLUTTERMAC, BURN IT WITH FIRE! Just kidding, its not really a ship I support, but I like how you had them get together, it felt natural. Pinkie terrifies me on some levels... and I'm not afraid of anything, so that's saying something.

Expected a chapter on A.J. but I got a Fluttershy one instead, and it was fantastic, keep it up.

Also I see Applebloom picked up darling some where, not sure if I should blame Sweetie or Rarity for that.

716762

Title is misleading yeah, but after a few attempts it was the best fit I had.

Yeah I know Apple Bloom picked up a bit of her friends talking, but if I had her say sugarcube or something, people would confuse her with her sister. 'darlin' was the southern dialect I found to be the best fit.

All ships are bound to get some hate for sure, but when it comes to my first attempt at a ship, I thought of who I imagine as a genuine couple, and the shyest ponies in town seemed good, and I was more interested in making Fluttershy a mother than a romantic. I wanted to portray the family dynamic instead of the romance.

Pinkie should scare the crap out of you. KILL IT WITH STREAMERS!

717846 I don't really think Big Mac is shy, he strikes me more as just being very good at getting his point across without having to say much.

717918

Valid. I made a poor word choice there. I just couldn't imagine any other pony creating a genuine understanding for Mac like Shy. Applejack is of course the exception, but I'll save that for the clopfic writers. I may not have a ton of experience or skill, but I'll keep my dignity.

718849 Oh, that's a low blow. Then again I don't write incest at least...

I honestly suspect the CMC may have scored the winning point for Mac. No one really has any interaction with Mac cannonly, beside A.J. and apparently Cherilee.

718904

Again I apologize. I forget that when I say clopfic writers I'm talking about stuff that goes beyond what is acceptable. People here can write about whatever they want and that's great, but I probably won't read your work if I see anything clop with incest, the CMC, or brony-on-pony action.

You got a point about the CMC with Mac, but maybe that's because the older ponies know that talking to Mac is like talking to a brick wall? The CMC are the epitome of innocence (despite their occasional evil)

718943 I was just yanking your chain :raritywink: I'm cruel that way. Yea that's not really my style anyways; I can't see any circumstances where I'd write it either.

"Occasional", yea lets go with that. One day there gonna end up blowing something up on accident... and it will be awesome!

...So Pinkie made a party supplies megacorporation as a direct result of her not understanding what a political party is.

Must have been a Tuesday.

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