Ch. 8 - Learn to Sparkle
The sunrise had lost its elegance. The mighty orbs still danced their ballet above Ponyville. Their grace and poise was unaltered since Luna’s return to nobility, but it went unnoticed. Typically, this dance was performed for nopony. It was just one of the many games Luna and Celestia played with each other in the short segments of time they could be together. Still, the dance was lost on the only pony watching, looking upon it as just another gear in the machine that was Equestria.
Twilight paced around the library, stumbling with every few steps. The floor was littered with books she had pulled from the shelves, but neglected to put back. Not a single one of them contained the answers she had been seeking, but she refused to halt her search. Books had never let her down in her quest for knowledge and truth.
‘Truth?’ Twilight pondered. The word quickly deconstructed itself in her mind. It became honesty, and then Applejack. Twilight wondered how many nights had passed with every word Applejack said playing again in her head, unchanged and verbatim.
***
It was an accident…
***
Another night spent replaying the speech in her head and watching the sunrise pulled Twilight’s attention towards the calendar. The days had been crossed off one by one with violent quill strokes in an effort to deny each day even happened, but to no avail. She marked one more date off the calendar, and her quill hovered over today’s date. She had circled it so many times that her irregular strokes turned the markings into a spiral vortex, pulling in time from the days around it.
The noted day was now here, and Twilight looked around at the mess she had created. The library was but a skeleton, the flesh stripped and thrown around the floor. “Have I learned nothing?” Twilight cried out in despair. Too drained to use her magic, she kicked a nearby book across the room. A shower of pages rained down as it collided with the wall, and a few of the remaining tomes on the shelves fell to the floor.
She took one last glance at the calendar, hoping she had miscounted the sunrises, but the date stared back at her, unflinching. Enraged, Twilight ripped the calendar in half. Then again. And again. Shreds of past, present and future turned to snowflakes. Three hundred and sixty-five unique dates turned to thousands of scraps that curtained the floor around her. All her frustration did nothing to stall the inevitable-
It was time to leave Ponyville.
***
She became obsessed, but it wasn’t about revenge. What ah did- it made her question why she threw everythin’ away…
***
It wasn’t nearly as painful the last time Twilight left Ponyville, and as she caught her breath, Twilight was wondering why. Those years of her youth were the best memories she had, and it was so easy to throw all that away. The bond she shared with her friends went further than saving the world. They grew older. They grew wiser. They matured.
Together.
Then, it stopped. They stopped learning. There were no more letters to Celestia. Nothing left for Twilight or her friends to learn about friendship. And so the time came for Twilight to return to Canterlot, and use her knowledge to help the kingdom. The goodbyes came so easily then. She remembered her friends smiling as the hot air balloon departed. Not smiling because they were happy to see her go, but because they knew their friendship could survive distance.
But time? That was the final test. It was this realization that pushed Twilight to rip the calendar to pieces. She wanted something she couldn’t have. She wanted the time back.
***
Her dresses. It was all she had left. The demand for her talents had never gone away, and suddenly, she saw no reason to refuse those demands…
***
The path of destruction Twilight had created had done little to sate her frustration. She had gained nothing except another mess to clean up. Another job. Another checklist.
‘Oh Celestia,’ she thought, ‘is this what I’ve reduced myself to? Lists? Facts? Is there no space in me for a heart?’
***
She needed gems. Hundreds of them. She was gonna’ make somethin’ more glamorous than anythin’ she’d made before…
***
Quantification. Twilight looked at the books strewn around the floor. She couldn’t accept anything that she couldn’t quantify through research. There were so many eons of knowledge packed into the books, but nothing that could get her closer to the answers she required.
Twilight began to place books back on the shelves, undoing the damage she had caused to the aesthetics of the room, but unable to heal the pain in her heart. Her thoughts began to grow selfish, and she despised it. She wished she hadn’t spent those years away saving the kingdom. Right now, she’d rather Equestria have been wiped off the map so that she could have had one more year with her friends.
***
Under this meadow, there’s a cavern. A treasure trove of glittering jewels. And she became determined to collect every single one…
***
Twilight wondered if she was out of touch with more than just her friends. She began to worry that the whole world had changed, and she was just the last pony to notice. She felt stuck, like the world had kept moving while she was left behind to pick up the pieces-
The pages on the floor.
***
The collapse. She took one too many, and the walls crumbled around her. At least that’s what I assume. We never did find her…
***
Slowly, the hardwood floor of the library became visible again. Any other pony would have looked at the mess like the spilled contents of a dozen jigsaw puzzles that had mixed together, but Twilight was more at home in these sort of places than out in the real world. She wondered what grand event had driven her to find more in common with letters on a page than words from a pony.
‘I have failed everypony. I gain nothing, and yet, I still insist on cowering behind books for answers.’
“Why?”
The books answered her with silence.
***
Ah wish ah could be more like Spike or Sweetie Belle. Ah tried to cling onto the hope that she wasn’t there or somehow survived, but every time ah started to have those thoughts, ah could feel small hooves kicking inside me. Bushel-
She knew before ah did…
***
Her question echoed through the library.
Twilight wanted-
To cry.
***
Ah still wonder if things could be different. Watchin’ Bushel grow up, even if sometimes it’s from afar, makes me think that Rarity-
Well, ah wish she could have seen Bushel just once, and maybe everythin’ would have been okay…
***
The mess within the library was resolved, but Twilight’s soul remained tarnished. She was placing the last book on the shelf when a raspy voice called out to her, “Don’t tell me you still read that tripe.” Twilight looked at the book in her hoof. It was one of the early novels by A.H.A. Snowbird. The book was swiped from her hand, and the culprit looked at the book with a disapproving stare. “Seriously, this was so uncool. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Rainbow Dash flipped through the pages before placing the book on a higher shelf, where nopony would find it.
Twilight was shocked to find she wasn’t alone. “How long have you-?”
“Long enough,” Dash interrupted her. “Even without wings, I still know how to make an entrance,” Dash laughed at Twilight’s expression as she pushed her fiery mane out of her face. “Don’t worry, egghead. It’s not like I’ve been watching you.”
Twilight didn’t find it so easy to laugh. She pulled the book back down from the shelf, and placed it in its proper place according to the library catalog. “What are you doing here?” she asked, not bothering to make eye contact with Dash.
“Today’s the day, right? I wasn’t about to let my friend leave without saying goodbye.”
“I don’t know what that word means anymore.”
“Goodbye? Vámanos? Au revoir? Sayona-,”
“No,” Twilight interrupted, her voice showing no humor for the situation, “I meant ‘friend’.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Rainbow asked, her eyebrows raised in confusion.
“Don’t look at me like that. You should hate me most of all.”
“Hate you? Why would I do that?”
Twilight pointed a hoof at Dash’s crippled wing. “Because I abandoned you. What kind of friend does that?”
“Twilight, you didn’t abandon me. You had dozens of opportunities to abandon me over the years, and a few where I wouldn’t have blamed you if you did. But this,” she looked at the scar down her wing, “this was me abandoning myself. We talked about this. It was tough, but I’ve had a lot to learn, and it looks like you have too. That’s why you left in the first place.”
“But I haven’t learned anything!” Twilight yelled in frustration. “All I know is I should have been here! I wasted so many years when I could have been here. I could have helped my friends. I could have saved Rarity.”
“Twilight,” Dash grabbed at Twilight’s face with her hooves, forcing Twilight to look at her as she spoke. “Even if I had both my wings, I couldn’t have stopped what happened. Nopony could save her.”
As Dash let go of her, the tears finally flowed to Twilight’s eyes, and she collapsed to the floor. She wanted so badly to prove Dash wrong, but she found herself unable to say anything. Dash’s words were harsh, but true.
“Um, Dash?” a voice beckoned to be heard from the entrance. “Do you have to say it like that?” Fluttershy hovered into the library. She suddenly remembered about Dash’s injuries and lowered herself to the ground. “I’m sorry. Um, I’m not trying to show off.”
Instead of running, Dash faced Fluttershy for the first time in many years. “Don’t worry about it, but Twilight needed to hear that.”
Twilight remained on the floor, broken and unable to acknowledge Fluttershy. She knew that Fluttershy had come to say goodbye as well, and it only made her cry harder.
“But that’s not the whole truth,” Fluttershy argued with Dash, her voice still innocent and non-confrontational. “We couldn’t save Rarity, because she was saving us.”
Still balled up on the floor, Twilight asked “What?”
“I was getting to that,” Dash insisted.
Fluttershy offered a hoof to help Twilight up, but her small frame was too weak to lift her. Twilight pulled herself to her feet, and Fluttershy brushed through the knots in the unicorn’s hair with her hooves as she reassured her. “Remember? We were the elements of harmony. We all had our parts to play, and Rarity reminded us of that.”
Twilight sniffled a bit as she worked through her sorrow. “I don’t understand. We’re still the elements.”
“No,” Dash responded, “we’re not.”
“Then who?” Twilight asked.
The door to the library burst open, and a cloud of confetti heralded Pinkie Pie’s entrance. She was singing some song about saying goodbye, although the upbeat banter of the music hardly matched the lyrics. She stopped mid-verse when she saw the scene that was unfolding within. “What’s wrong everypony? We can’t throw Twilight a goodbye party like this,” Pinkie urged her friends.
Fluttershy poked her head out from under a nearby table she was using to shield herself from Pinkie’s party assault. “We were just talking about back when we were the elements of harmony.”
Pinkie bounced over to Fluttershy, who retracted her body back beneath the safe haven underneath the table. “The elements? I remember those.” Pinkie took a deep breath, and was about to sing, until Dash stuffed a hoof in her mouth.
“What Fluttershy means,” Dash said to urge Pinkie not to sing, “is we were telling her why we’re not the elements anymore.” Pinkie’s response was muffled into gibberish by Dash’s hoof, and Dash turned her attention back to Twilight. “We haven’t been the elements for a long time Twilight, and it wasn’t until Rarity died that we realized it.”
Twilight was still confused by the answer. “Then who are they?”
Fluttershy figured it was safe enough to emerge so she could answer. “We don’t know. Nopony does.”
Pinkie pulled Dash’s hoof from her mouth, and finished the rest of Fluttershy’s thought. “Equestria hasn’t needed the elements for a long time, silly. If the world needs them again, I’m sure there are plenty of ponies who know how to party.”
“Laughter,” Dash corrected Pinkie. She turned back to Twilight. “It wasn’t until we last saw Rarity’s generosity that we remembered why the elements chose us in the first place. She saved us from what we had become.”
“I still don’t get what you’re talking about,” Twilight said.
“Ah reckon this will jog your memory,” Applejack said as she joined the camaraderie in the library, a basket of apples in tow. Immediately recognizing the treasures, Pinkie dashed across the room. Applejack stopped her just before her mouth could open wide enough to consume them all in a single bite. “Y’all will get one,” she insisted as she tossed the first one to Twilight.
Twilight caught the fruit, but as she stared at it, it provided no answers. “What do apples have to do with this?” she asked.
With a smile on her face, Applejack edged her hat forward. “Yah’ saw the orchard. How yah’ think any tree could grow so darn big?”
Twilight declined to respond, still staring at the fruit in her hooves.
Fluttershy pulled one of the apples from the basket, holding it high as she explained, “It’s magic Twilight. The tree is full of it.”
“Heck, the whole darn meadow is,” Applejack continued. “Where do yah’ think all that came from?”
“She had something to tell us,” Dash said. “She left us with a final reminder of who she was.”
“The element of generosity!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Generosity?” Twilight questioned.
“She knew it was too late fer her,” Applejack said, “so she gave back. Tah’ Ponyville. Tah’ Equestria. Tah’ us.”
“I-,” Dash looked her friends over as she swallowed her pride, “I had forgotten. I was loyalty. I used to always be there for any pony who needed me, but I wasn’t there for her.” Her expression was heavy with guilt as she looked apologetically at the other ponies. “Seeing the tree made it all clear. I know I’ve been reclusive, but I’m still helping. From the sidelines, where I belong.”
“Um,” Fluttershy mumbled. “I struggled too. Kindness. I forgot what it meant. I,” her cheeks began to swell with color until they matched her mane, “thought it was the same thing as love.” Her eyes remained fixed on the floor, avoiding the smiles from her friends. “I had to learn kindness again,” she looked at Applejack fondly, “so I gave Apple Bushel the childhood she deserved.” Still embarrassed, she quickly looked away again, “But I still couldn’t have done it without Mackie’s help, or Applejack and Apple Bloom’s. Still, it was Rarity that made me realize it.”
Twilight’s gaze drifted towards Pinkie, assuming she’d be the next with something to say. Pinkie responded with a goofy expression of her own as the others turned their gazes as well. “Me? I learned nothing,” she said, her enthusiasm matching her ignorance.
Applejack nudged Pinkie, teasing her with the prospect of not getting one of the blessed apples she had brought along. “Pinkie?” she urged as the apple was slowly being pulled away.
“Okay! I learned that these apples are delicious!” she said, grabbing the apple back from Applejack with her teeth.
The whole room responded in unison, “Pinkie!”
“Alright, alright!” she said, juggling the apple back and forth between her hooves. “Rarity didn’t really ‘get’ laughter, but she knew comedy. Comedy takes work.” She spun the apple on her hoof as she continued, “I thought that making the town one big party would be fun, but Rarity taught me that the hardest work produces the greatest rewards.” Done toying with her food, she took a large bite from the apple. Speaking between her chewing she added, “Like this apple! It made it all clear. The harder ponies work, the harder they party. The harder they laugh.”
All eyes in the room turned towards Applejack. She pulled her hat from her head, toying with in her hooves. “The things ah learned from Rarity could fill a book,” she sighed, “but that’s more Dash’s territory.” The mares giggled slightly, even Twilight feeling a smile growing on her face. “Most of all,” Applejack continued, “she taught me that honesty is a virtue that can hurt yah’ sometimes. But more importantly, ah learned tah’ always be honest about your feelin’s, because if nopony knows, those feelin’s don’t mean jack.”
Twilight felt touched by the way her friends spoke of Rarity, but still, she was unfulfilled. Rarity had left something behind for everypony in that tree, but Twilight couldn’t find what was in it for her. “I-,” she stuttered, “I don’t see my place in all this. I wasn’t there for her. What could she have wanted to give to me? What place does magic have in all this?”
Applejack approached Twilight and took her hooves in her own, pushing the apple closer to Twilight’s face. “Don’t yah’ see, sugah’cube?”
Dash picked up the last apple in the basket, staring at it intently to convey the message within. “Magic,” she said, “makes it all complete.”
Just inches from her eyes, the apple in front of Twilight began to glow. It was a moment before she realized the light was not from the fruit itself, but a reflection of her horn off of the glossy sheen of the skin. She clamped down on the apple, ripping a large portion of flesh from it, and revealing the message Rarity had left in it for her. Those emotions that surged with each bite, some of them did belong to Rarity. Creativity. Expression. Selflessness. But now, Twilight could taste something deeper within the fruit. Somewhere between bites she could feel what everypony was talking about. Generosity. Loyalty. Kindness. Laughter. Honesty. And somewhere, deep beneath them all-
Magic.
Rarity’s magic flowed through Twilight, finding exodus in her horn. The room filled with a bright light, and Twilight’s body slowly hovered off the ground. The other ponies shielded their eyes as the light grew brighter, coating everything in an opaque white shimmer that left the contents of the room invisible. A strong wind blew open the windows to the library, letting the light escape into the town, and pulling the other ponies closer to where Twilight was now hovering above them. With a boisterous blast, the light ceased, and Twilight fell upon the soft hides of her companions beneath her.
As the dust settled around them, the girls pulled each other up, and were awestruck by the room around them. Everything, from the books to the shelves to the desks and chairs, was glittering. Prisms of light were shining from every inch of the room.
Fluttershy flapped her wings, and flew towards the window on the upper floor. She took a glance out the window and curiously reported back to her friends, “The whole town. It’s- it’s- shiny.”
“Oh golly gee!” Pinkie exclaimed, “I’d need like fifty party cannons to do this. It’s like the factory exploded.”
“What happened?” Dash asked.
Twilight smiled, and tears began to fall from her face. “It’s Rarity,” she said. “This is what she wanted to tell me. I-,” she paused as she wiped the tears away, “I could hear her. I could see her.”
Everypony was looking at Twilight, astonished. “What did she say?” Applejack inquired.
“She told me,” Twilight responded, “to make the world beautiful. To make it sparkle.”
One by one, the ponies looked at one another, deep in thought about what they had seen. Their exchanged glances conveyed their understanding and friendship. Pinkie was the first to pull Twilight in, embracing her with a tight hug, and the rest soon joining in. The tightly wrapped hooves around everypony said more than words could at that moment. As they let go, the shimmering aura around the town began to fade, leaving behind the memory and message it came to share.
“Are you ready?” Dash asked Twilight.
“What?” Twilight responded, confused. Before she could get a response, a low whistle bellowed through the town, announcing the arrival of the train coming to take Twilight back to Canterlot. Twilight’s heart sank within her, and she dashed around the library, grabbing various things with her magic. “No. Not yet! There’s something I have to do.”
Nopony could understand what Twilight meant, but Dash jumped into action. She galloped towards the door, announcing, “I’ll see what I can do to stall the train.”
Twilight tried to stop Dash, but she was already gone. She looked at the remaining mares and asked, “Where’s Spike?”
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie looked at each other in confusion, but Applejack had the answer. “Well, right now, he’s probably-,” she began to say, but Twilight somehow knew the rest, and before the other ponies could notice, she had galloped out the door with her saddlebag in tow.
Twilight ran as fast as her hooves could carry her. The town was a blur at this speed, and her friends followed close behind her. Dash caught up with the group and tried to warn Twilight. “Whatever you’re doing Twilight, there’s no time. The train isn’t going to wait. Are you even listening to me?”
Short on breath, Twilight managed to say, “Forget the train! This is too important!”
Applejack took the lead of the group, knowing where Twilight was trying to go. She tried to guide them on the shortest route possible, dodging oblong branches and leaping over fallen trees. Soon, they came to the open meadow, and to Rarity’s tree. Spike was again there under the tree, and was rather spooked by the cavalry that was quickly approaching him.
“Twilight? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be back in Canterlot?” Spike asked.
Pinkie’s tail let out a nervous twitch, and then a longer shudder. The ground began to quake as Pinkie’s body bounced around, not of her own will, but as though something had grabbed her and was shaking her vigorously. Her body came to a sudden halt, and everyone stared at her.
“What was that?” Dash asked between heavy breaths.
“I’m not sure,” Pinkie pondered aloud, “but the last time my ‘Pinkie Sense’ went off-,” she trailed off, curious of the meaning behind the signals.
The run had exhausted all the mares, especially the out-of-shape Twilight. She struggled to catch her breath for a few moments before turning to the small dragon. “Spike, I need your help.”
Spike had no idea what Twilight could need, but was eager to do anything for his former companion. “Sure. Anything. What could be so urgent?”
Twilight pulled open her saddlebag with her magic, retrieving its contents. She set down a small bottle, and levitated a long parchment and quill in front of Spike.
“Take a letter.”
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889944
Fixed. New chapter should display now. Not sure why that happened.
889974 Neat. For a moment there, I thought the feature box had actually gone prescient or something.
Hrmm, well I still don't like Rarity dying but you handled it as good as anyone could, I suppose I shall have to stick around for the rest of the story. At least you didn't do something stupid like suicide which I was expecting, too many stories do that and it never makes sense. Pinkie Pie would not put up with anypony getting depressed enough for that.
Never found the body?
Never found the body.
That's encouraging.
“Take a letter.”
Hells yea Twilight is back!
What's next?! I NEED TO KNOW! Is Twilight going to rat out Celestia for not telling her about Rarity's death and demand to stay in Ponyville by saying that she had forgotten her lessons of friendship and needs to refresh her memory? GAH! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!
Great as usual. Still... Spike.
890058 In a way I have to agree. On the other hand, I think a miraculous reappearance is very unlikely.
890412
On a third hoof, does Twilight Sparkle of all ponies really believe that dead ponies can still use magic?
890424 Hey, don't get me wrong, I want her to be alive, really I do, mostly for Spike's sake, but I just think it's unlikely... But, as I often find myself doing with this fic, I hope I'm wrong. Sadly, I rarely have been.
890424
Residual magic, perhaps a dying enchantment left by Rarity. Like all forms of energy I'm fairly certain that the common belief is that Magic can't be outright created or destroyed, only transfered.
Cliffhangers we meet again
891064
true but even magic needs to die out.
Ah, the inevitable letter. More amusing to me, however, is the idea that crippled Dash is off stopping a train while the letter is happening.
As for Rarity... the tree still feels a little unclear, but I found it interesting. Rarity really is the kind of pony who, with her dying breath, would try to make one last beautiful thing for others. Doesn't make her death any less tragic.
But it's good to know that she got one last hurrah there.
890058
Sorry if that line got your hopes up, but no, I'm not cheesy enough to bring Rarity back. She's dead. And her death served a purpose. And I think residual is the best way to describe the magic. The tree was blessed and a little bit of magic carries on in the fruit, but Twilight is so powerful that it just goes beserk.
890055
I thought so many people would assume suicide, but Rarity is too fabulous for suicide, and I tried to hard to avoid any kind of hinting that it could have been. I really hope people came up with that idea on their own and didn't assume so just because of how sad RariJack ended.
890412
Thanks bro, and yea Spike... Man he got the short end of the stick...
892483
I assumed suicide because of how Sweetie Bell Acted, given how much hate she had for AJ, it was safe to assume that had something big to do with her death or disappearance.
Also, don't be afraid of a happy ending, these are ponies we are talking about, not the grimdarkness of the year 40k where everything is always horrible for some reason. And we are dealing with a unicorn who is one of the elements of harmony with a strange magical relationship to gemstones that got caught in a gemstone cave.
892685
I understand the Sweetie Belle thing. I had to avoid making her outright say "you killed my sister". I had to have SB's dialogue concentrate on how AJ had betrayed her, so the reader could understand once they got the rest of Rarity's story why she blames AJ so much.
And don't worry. It's a fic with an overall sad tone, but I always planned it to end happily. There is a purpose to the sadness of the story, or it would just be a tragedy.
But I LOVE Sweetie Belle....best CMC EVER!!!! Anyway, alright so Ratiy is now dead huh.......hmm......VILLIANS SHALL NOW PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry...had to do it, and for some reason the very smallest part of me was hoping that Twilight would jump into Spike's arms and kiss his lips with passion...then agian that's only the Spilight in me....also, you have an error that said hand when it was supposed to be hoof...just can't remember where....on to the next one!!!
893203
Found the mistake. Thanks. It's about time I broke my streak on that. Sometimes I lose grip on the fact that they're damn horses. I'll fix it when I post the finale (don't want to bump the story to front page over a typo)
894209 Tough is it not? what if ourselves were magic, talking hourses? (to be honest, I would be kind of pissed)
892248
Ewwww some of that got in my stache
892000
Why must magic have rules? Isn't that why it's magic to begin with?
894950
Well this is why I have an editor for my new project, and if we were talking horses, how would I work a keyboard? Oh dear...
True and.....magic? If you were a unicorn that is.
Take a letter
Holy shit.
BOOM BITCH! THAT'S HOW YOU WRITE A STORY!
895513
But my OC is an earth pony... And a drunk!
895522
Lol I aim to please
896234 Damn...well how about keyboards big enough for hooves? Then kick him out of your house, head ect.
895471
well magic does have rules. magic is made up of en...wait, am i trying to put logic into a world where ponies talk? whats wrong with me?
btw, will you give sweetie belle a happy ending too? and will there be a chapter to find out if cmc gang are still friends?
896894
I gently remind you, who started the 'rules of magic' discussion
Someone is losing their grip on reality...
As for SB and the CMC... I don't think so. They had their part to play in the story, but it's a mane six story primarily. SB may be upset, but she does learn her lesson. Maybe I'll throw them in the epilogue I have planned, but unlikely. I like to leave certain things ambiguous so the reader can decide for themselves where the story goes after it's over.
898045
well, i didn't REALLY start it
I'm conflicted about this chapter, sure it's great, It's moving, it's beautiful and emotional but why Rarity? It doesn't make much sense canon wise or realistic wise?
Because although, yes all the mane 6 are important but I would say Twilight would be the most important. I mean she's the one who has to learn, has to understand why it's so important. Also she's like the glue that holds the elements together. Why kill Rarity? Sure it adds sadness but she's not really a big part of the mane 6.
I guess thats up to you and all, just wanted to ask.
Thanx for the chapter FF
898804
I know the story isn't canon, but my concern was keeping the characters to how they would canonically act in the situations presented (I totally failed with Fluttershy, but that's another story).
Believe me, if I wanted to spin-off anything in this story, it would be Pinkie as mayor. That said, I don't want to. If I spin-off something, that means either I didn't do enough the first time or didn't say everything that needed to be said. I don't want to dilute the quality of the story by doing that, and would rather concentrate on putting my efforts into new ideas. I might write CMC in something else someday, but not the CMC here, the canon ones. My new project is going to go on for a while, but I really want to do some one-shots.
900057
I've been wondering when someone would ask that. I have to admit, I don't have the greatest explanation for why Rarity, but I did want to throw a note in the epilogue, not explaining the plot, but about where I was mentally when writing this. For the moment, I'll tell you that when I first started LoF, I had just taken up a new career, where I face death on a daily basis. I think that made me want to explore the purpose and meaning of death a bit, but I'll probably be able to explain that more coherently when I throw my notes together.
As for why Rarity? To be honest, at first it was because I couldn't stand her. When I entered the fandom, I viewed her as the embodiment of every negative feminine quality/stereotype (maybe because I went through a bad breakup before I went full brony). She has truly grown on me though, and while I still knew she was going to die, I really wanted her death to serve a purpose to the story as a whole, and not have her entire plot be 'Rarity's dead' and then have nothing to say. I completely get what you're saying about her role in the mane six, and I thought about that when writing too. I wanted the girls to learn something from her, see her place in their group. I know the tree is an odd metaphor, but I really wanted her to leave something behind.
Yea, it doesn't make sense canon-wise, but neither do crippled RD or preggers-out-of-wedlock AJ
Thanks for the feedback. Means a lot!
900057
Also, I totally agree with Twilight being the glue that holds the group together, but from the beginning, the question the story presents is 'What happens when we take the glue away?'
Twilight has learned a lot seeing what happened when she wasn't there, and she will tell you all about it soon.
Didn't mean to take so long to get to this, it fell of my dashboard before I had a chance to get it read and then I sorta forgot.
I like how you handled it, and I'd say you more or less dealt with the Elements of Harmony based objections I had with the last chapter.
The bit about no body briefly got my hopes up, but the tree being infused with Rarity's magic pretty clearly demonstrates that she is dead. Funny that we ended up with Raritree instead of Fluttertree.
"Sparkle always does the trick, does it not?"
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Raritree
I love it
And yea, I wasn't sure if I'd cover the elements of harmony thing, but it kinda ended up working out to help define the purpose of Rarity's death.
"The amulet Charlie! The amulet!"
"SPARKLE SPARKLE!"
900283 I wouldn't say the tree is a bad metaphor, just think of the Giving Tree...
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Oh man I love that book. Maybe I should have read it again before I did this... The tree idea kind of came late in the project, and I didn't plan for the metaphor like I should. I think that's what I meant.
So, I've got some mixed opinions on this fic, but in the end I settled on down-voting it, which I have to justify of course.
First of all, I do love your writing style. It's very gripping and is in exactly the style I love. It instantly drew me into your world, and I wanted to love it. The thing is, I can only describe the story so far as melodramatic, it's presented in a manner that feels over the top, and it all felt jarring.
I couldn't connect at all with Twilights wistfulness, nor with the various moments of pain and sorrow. I actually laughed at some of the scenes that were really supposed to show the opposite.
I will admit that you had me fooled with Raritys bit, that was some clever writing, but it does make Spikes bit in the beginning more than a little... weird.
On one end, I really love the concept of this fic. Time has made the Mane 6 split up, it's natural, perfect. I want to read about their reunion after this long, but it feels like you've just taken a bunch of fandom "clichés" and removed the key part that generally leads to a happy resolution. Don't get me wrong, that could probably have been an excellent fic if it was the focus. For a sad or tragic piece of daring writing. Here, however, it feels like it's all been crammed in and left in the sun too long, it feels stale.
I suppose the next few chapters might bring me around, I'll probably read them, but it does feel unlikely.
Anyway, that's my motivation for the thumb down. We can't all love the same things after all :).
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Thanks for the feedback and I don't sweat the down vote. I can't expect everyone to be happy, and as this story has gone on, I've noticed the same issues you have and kind of look back on it with a bit of shame. I elected to finish this without editors, since it started that way, but now that I have editors/proofreaders for my newer work, I feel more pride and accomplishment. Just makes me sad that this is the fic that gets attention.
It's definitely obvious though that this is my first attempt at a fanfic, and I didn't have a great grasp on the characters. Particularly Twilight and Fluttershy. And you're definitely right about bits and pieces ending up a little cliche. I set out with the goal of writing something that wasn't like 95% of the fics out there, and while I partly achieved that, it didn't make what I wrote original. Fluttermac and Rarijack have been done to death. Probably the closest I came to original was Pinkie in politics and that chapter was just boring...
As for tags, yea. There really isn't any good tag to describe this fic. Some chapters lean to comedy, others sad, but never does any one element take center stage. It's just what it is, the stories of what happens over time. The only thing I tried to keep over the whole fic was an element of suspense. Something that makes the reader want to keep reading.
I'm not saying any of my mistakes are excusable, but you're definitely right that I made more than a few.
And as for the remaining chapters...well, there's only one left...
Oh god the feels man all the feels.
My eyes seemed to secrete some kind of strange fluid
This must be the first time ever that I cried from the depth of my heart, the way you bring out emotion is a gift, the embodiment is there.
Big fat tears, reading each chapter till now...
(maybe Goyte 'Bronte' influence as well?)
But you made a perfect devolpment, ironic, realistic and pure in the truest sense.
A wonderful requim to a wonderful existences ;-;
... Why do I have that small feeling that Rarity is still alive?
*eyeroll* No body no death.
Take a different train!