The Best of All Worlds

by NerfedFalcon

Things to Do in Ponyville When You're Dead (Part 3)

When I woke up, I was still wearing Soren’s scarf; the night had gotten unexpectedly cold, and I didn’t want to use any fire spells in a library. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t think of any spells that would create the heat without the fire, either. I knew that magic was supposed to be my talent, but maybe there was something specific preventing me from using it. If that was the case, though, then I couldn’t think of what it was.

I heard Soren walking down the stairs and groaned something that I was intending to sound like ‘good morning’. He laughed it off, thankfully. “Not a morning person, huh?” he asked. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I spotted someone last night who could help. Go back to sleep, I’ll be back in a few.”

As he left, I stood up and tried to move into a better place to sit against the wall. There weren’t any chairs or anything like one in the library, so that was my only option. It was getting warmer, but I still felt comfortable in Soren’s scarf for some reason, so I left it on. I reached out for the book that had fallen when I fell asleep with my magic, pulling it open to the last page I could remember. Daring Do had just patched up her wing, but it wasn’t likely to be healed for a while. Without being able to fly like normal, travelling through the jungle would probably give her quite a bit of trouble...

The door swung open again, and Soren was carrying a small pot and a small box. “Just something from the old country I thought I’d introduce to you,” he said, smiling. “I’ll need you to light a fire for me...” He looked around, and then laughed. “Oh, wait, bad call. Setting a fire in a library, which is a tree.”

“There should be a basement,” I offered. “Plenty of fire safety down there too.”

“Really? Wow, I guess you did live here once. I never would’ve guessed, since there don’t seem to be any stairs down or anything...” I stepped behind a bookcase, and Soren nodded once, helping me to push it aside. Mostly, I used magic on it, and immediately felt exhausted again; I’d only just woken up, after all. Behind the bookcase was a door, and behind the door were stairs leading down into a round pit beneath the tree. “Alright, jackpot.” I slumped over on the bookcase, and he said, “Whoa, you okay there, Twilight? Need help?”

“I’ll be okay,” I replied, leaning on the handrail as I walked down the stairs. At the bottom of the room was a small fireplace with a grille above it. Soren put the teapot down on top of the grille and opened the box, which contained a large number of small leaves. With a bit of effort, I lit a fire underneath. “What happens now?”

“Now we wait for the water to boil. Shouldn’t take long.” He sat down and picked up the end of his scarf in one hand. “You like it?”

“It’s nice...” I replied. “Where did you get it? What’s it made of?”

He looked off into the distance, giving me a profile of his face. “The man who taught me to use a sword left it to me. He always wore it himself, but a year and a day before he was supposed to finish my training, he disappeared. All he left behind was the scarf, and a note, telling me that demons from his past had returned. He didn’t want to expose me to them, he said. He told me to finish the training by myself, and that I would know when it was done. But...” He touched the base of his sword and looked down, eyes closed. “I’ve never seen him since. But I know that this scarf is a promise. A promise that someday, he’ll come back for it, and finish my training... or that someday, I will become a master myself.”

My eyes had gotten wider and wider throughout the monologue, and when I realised he’d stopped, I breathed, “Really?”

“No, not really.”

I fell over on the floor face-first, and he laughed. “I bought it at a charity store, it was cheap and I wanted it to look cool while I was making speeches like that. Roguish charm, y’know?”

“Soren, that wasn’t funny!” I shouted as I pulled myself up.

“You’re only saying that because you couldn’t see the look on your own face,” he replied, still laughing. Before I could hit him, a whistle suddenly sounded, and I flinched away from the source, the pot above the fireplace. I hadn’t noticed before, but there was an elongated opening on the side which steam was coming out from. “Looks like the water’s boiled. Now... two spoons for two cups...” He took a spoon out of a pocket and poured some of the leaves into the boiling water. “There. Now we leave that alone for about three minutes.” He looked at a device on his wrist as he sat down. “Really, though, I did buy it to try and look cool. And,” he looked at a tab I hadn’t noticed, “one hundred percent New Zealand wool.”

“How would you do that?” I asked, having let go of my anger for the prank he’d played on me already.

“I was hoping to get a dramatic gust of wind to blow it around,” he said. I thought for a little while, and focused magic on the air around me, pushing it to one side. Soren felt the gust as well, and seemed startled, but not as much as when he looked at the scarf flapping about around me. “Yeah, something like that. When’d you learn a wind spell?”

“I don’t know, it just kind of came to me...” The scarf suddenly blew up into my face, and I yelped again, losing control of the wind spell. I heard a tearing sound, and noticed a rip on the arm of Soren’s jacket all of a sudden. “Oh, I’m sorry! I wasn’t expecting it to...”

“It’s okay, really,” he replied, covering the cut with his other hand. “Actually, you could probably use that in combat. If you can cut through my sleeve by losing control, maybe you could cut through a monster with a controlled gust. And maybe make me look cool with the scarf a few times?” He grinned and winked at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh as I took the scarf off and returned it to him. He looked at his wrist again and said, “Should be about done.”

As he pulled two cups out of his jacket, I asked, “Where did you get those from?”

“My inventory.”

“What?”

“Long story, I’ll explain later. It’s convenient, okay?” He put the two cups down on top of the fireplace near the pot and put another spoon on top of one of them. He poured the water through it, which had turned brown and gained a pleasant smell, and then did the same in the other cup. He gave me one of the cups and said, “Drink it. It’ll wake you up.” I took a sip of the liquid and burned my tongue slightly on it. “Careful there...”

Slowly, after blowing on it a bit, I took another sip and tasted the strange liquid. It tasted quite sharp, but not bitter, and the liquid seemed to warm me up as it went down my throat. “What is this?” I asked.

“Tea. I’m surprised you guys have it.” He took a sip of his own tea and smiled. “Mmm, I didn’t know you had English breakfast tea here too. Or something like it, I guess, since you don’t have an England.” He took another sip, and I did the same. “I was surprised to find a pony who had any kind of passion for tea, but that’s serendipity for you. Lost in a strange new world, at least you still have really good tea.”

“It’s nice,” I admitted, thinking of the things Soren had said. “What’s an England? And New Zealand?”

“They’re countries, where I’m from. New Zealand has a whole lot of sheep in it, so that’s where they get the wool for scarves like this one.” We finished the rest of our tea quickly, and he continued, “As for England, it’s where I was born. Probably explains my love of tea, though I don’t remember much about the place. My dad’s job moved, and I had to move with him.”

“That’s a pity.”

“It’s not a big deal. Not like I’m ever gonna get to see it again now. Least we have tea.” He took my cup and put it back in his jacket, though I couldn’t see the bulge once it was flush against his chest again. “Oh yeah, inventory. It’s like, a space where you can magically keep items. You’re probably able to use it too, but...”

I remembered the book the Merchant had given me and reached into my cape. As my hand went behind my back, I visualised reaching into the cape to take the book out, and it appeared in my hand. “Huh. So it does work... Inventory.”

“Nice. Guess the tea really did help wake you up.” He placed the pot back in his inventory as well and started walking towards the stairs. “We should probably meet up with AJ again. There’s a lead I gained in the bar that I wanted to follow up on, and I’ll want her around for it too.”

“Are we leaving Ponyville already?”

“No, it’s still here. But it might get us some extra combat experience, and if the Game is going where I think it is, we’ll need it.”

~~

The so-called Ponyville Royal Guard had a small barracks built on the northernmost edge of the town. There were only a few ponies there, and only one of them, a white Pegasus stallion, was actually wearing any armour, or anything at all. He was also leading the others in a variety of drills using spears. As he noticed our presence, he shouted to the others that they were to continue drilling without him, and he would know if they slacked off. “What do you want?” he said to us.

“To help you,” I said. “You look like you could use the extra manpower, or pony-power or...”

“Get out.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Do I have a speech impediment? Get out!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise that this militia—”

“We are not a militia! The Ponyville Royal Guard are a trained group of hard-working local ponies seeking to protect their home! We are entirely capable of defending this town, and we do not need or want any outsiders!” The militia ponies had stopped drilling to watch the scene, and one of them fell over, weighed down by the spear she was holding onto. Even for a pony, I could tell her form was way off.

I sighed and shook my head. “Are we looking at two different trained groups of hard-working local ponies, here?” Before any of them could get offended, I added, “Don’t get me wrong, these guys could definitely be worth something someday. But in the meantime, we can handle any problems that come up until they’re ready.”

“I said, we don’t need any help from outsiders!”

“Soren, let me handle this,” Applejack said suddenly. “I’m a Ponyville local too. Sure, it don’t look that way, but I’m sure by now you’ve heard the news.”

The armoured pony didn’t say anything for a few seconds as I backed off, exchanging a look with Twilight. “That voice. You’re Applejack, right?”

“Yep, that’s my name.” She turned to me for a moment and said, “You know, your pride is why I turned down the recruitment offer in the first place. It’s right there in the name you gave this group, even though you’re the only Royal Guard in it, and you ain’t born in Ponyville any more than he is.” She pointed to me at that. “There’s nothin’ to be gained from actin’ as though things are better than they are. ‘Specially when this town’s what’s on the line for it. Why can’t’cha let us help?”

He sighed deeply, waving off the other ponies. “You’re right. But that’s why I can’t give up. I can’t admit that I was wrong that easily. And he said it himself, these ponies do have potential. I was sent here to help them realise it, so I can’t just take help from anyone else now! So stop rubbing it in with your offers and all that, and get out!”

Applejack shrugged and turned away at that. “C’mon, guys, let’s go,” she said. “Clearly we’re not going to get anywhere with this.”

As we were about to leave, a screaming pony suddenly rushed up. He was clearly rattled by something, and as he called out for the commander, I sniffed the air. “Something’s on fire,” I said, turning back towards Ponyville. I didn’t see the smoke for a little while, but when I did, I called out to the others, “Was Ponyville always that on fire?”

“Recruits!” the commander shouted behind us. “We have reports of ponies being abducted and fires being set in the eastern part of the town! Initial reports are sketchy, but it is believed they are being taken into...” He paused for dramatic effect, before saying, “The Everfree Forest.” All six assembled ponies gasped in unison. “Now, this is going to be dangerous, but I know you’re ready for this...”

“No, we’re not!” a light blue Pegasus wearing a pink bow shouted. “We thought we’d just have to patrol the town and keep any monsters out! Now we’re going into the Everfree Forest, just out of the blue?!” The other ponies all started to protest as well, and the commander seemed to be having difficulty keeping them calm.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I muttered to myself, then, “I can’t believe I’m considering this.” I stepped up behind the commander and shouted, “What’s wrong with you?! Do you want to protect this town, or not?!”

The crowd gasped, and the commander stammered for a while. Eventually, he recovered himself and returned, “What gives you the right to ask me that?! You aren’t even from Ponyville!”

“And you just told Applejack that neither are you!” Taking a deep breath to try and calm down before the next statement, I continued, “But if you actually care about this town’s well-being, you won’t send those raw recruits into the Everfree Forest. You can already see they wouldn’t be able to take it.”

He was still fuming, but eventually said, “What exactly are you proposing to do?”

“We’ll be the vanguard. We’ll head into the Everfree, find whoever or whatever took those ponies, bring them back out if they’re still alive. You can make sure nobody else gets into the town who shouldn’t. They might get some experience, but it’ll be a hell of a lot safer than charging into the forest, even with you leading them.” I decided to twist the knife a little harder; even though it was kind of mean, I needed to make this point. “And if you really care about this town, you’ll let us help defend it, even though we’re not from here, any more than you are.”

He grumbled to himself incomprehensibly before stalking off into the main building. “Well, that went well,” I said. “C’mon, guys, we’ve got some ponies to save.”

As I turned, I heard hoofbeats approaching. It was the commander, carrying a spear in one hoof. He threw it to me, and I turned again quickly to catch it. “The weapon of a true guard. I don’t trust that toy on your waist.” He turned to the assembled ponies and started to give them orders along the same general lines as what I’d said, and I shrugged, leading my own party away from the scene.

As we headed for the Everfree under Applejack’s directions, we encountered Link, sitting on a bench in the main street. “Where are you all going in such a hurry?” he asked, waving to us.

“There’s been a foalnapping,” Twilight replied quickly. “In the Everfree Forest. The Royal Guard’s making up the rearguard, but...”

“We could use your help,” I cut her off. “Wanna be a hero? No time to waste, let’s get a move on!” I didn’t even stop running to tell him that, and the two girls had to catch up to me. “Don’t know if he’ll actually come, but we really could use him,” I explained. Other ponies stopped and turned to us as we ran through the town, but I didn’t pay them any mind.

Eventually, we came to the edge of the town, and Fluttershy’s cottage. The place was even quieter than it had been the night before, without a single critter anywhere in sight, not even... “Damn it!” I shouted, running around to the back of the cottage. “Karin! Karin, are you there?!” There was no sign of anything even at the back, except for a set of prints beginning with a golden feather. The prints led directly into...

Applejack confirmed it. “The Everfree Forest.”

The place was different to what I remembered seeing at night. The darkness seemed to stretch outwards from the forest’s boundary, even during the day. It was silent inside, but considering that several ponies had just been dragged into it, that seemed entirely wrong. “I have a bad feeling about this,” I said, involuntarily.

“Scared?” Applejack asked. I shook my head, trying to clear it, and she read it as a ‘no’. “Really? Well, I’m shakin’ in my shoes over here. Any normal folk get that reaction, near the Everfree. Place ain’t natural. The weather moves on its own, strange creatures and plants abound, and...”

“Wait, the weather moving on its own isn’t natural?” I asked.

“I’ll explain later,” Twilight said quickly. “We’ve got some ponies to save!”

“I’m holding you to that.”

A series of shouts approached from behind, quietly at first but growing louder and clearer, and everyone turned quickly to see a cloud of dust rising behind a strange green object. “What’s going on?” Twilight asked.

I shook my head. “That’ll be Link,” I told her. “Rolling. Probably because it’s faster than walking, no matter how ridiculous it looks.”

“Not a bad way to live,” Applejack said as Link stopped at a stand in front of us, panting slightly. “Glad you could make it, partner.”

“Yeah, well, I figured what you said was right,” he said, waving it off with his left hand and pointing to me with his right. “Even if destiny can be kept waiting, I figure this is as good a wake-up call as any.” He chuckled slightly and added, “Besides, I’ve got all of you with me.”

“Well, just don’t flake out on us.” I hefted the spear that the commander had given me. I’d done two sessions of a fitness routine once based on using a ‘pike’, actually a broom handle or something that had had the same weight as the spear I was holding, so I had a basic idea of what to do with it. I touched my katana’s hilt as well, making sure I still had it. “Let’s do this before anyone loses their nerve.”

I counted three nods, and nodded myself as I turned. Ponyville and Fluttershy’s cottage seemed to disappear almost immediately behind the trees, and the eerie lack of sound from inside the forest continued to disturb me, regardless of the bravado Applejack thought I was showing. “Can’t be brave unless you’re afraid, huh,” I murmured to myself. Nobody else heard it, as far as I could tell, and that was fine by me.

~~

As we headed deeper into the Everfree Forest, I started to feel hairs pricking up on the back of my neck. I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be happening, but it didn’t seem like the time to be saying anything about it. Soren was focused intently on the trail leading into the forest, making sure none of us tripped over anything, and Twilight and Link seemed to have their own worries. I didn’t blame any of them; the forest was as treacherous beneath a pony as around them. It wasn’t any easier standing on only two legs; in fact, it was harder.

There was still a lack of any sound going on around us, and Soren was starting to get tenser and tenser in front of us. With a sharp cry, he stumbled forward, almost losing his grip on his spear. The rest of us stopped behind him, seeing the small hole in the ground that he’d stumbled over. The hole was scorched on the bottom, and still smoking. Strangely, though, nothing else seemed to be on fire, or even burnt. “Strange kind of campfire, this,” I mused. “Too small...”

“Who’d go camping here, anyway?” Link asked, rubbing the scorched spot with two fingers and putting them in his mouth. He spit almost immediately. “Don’t know what I just tasted, but this definitely wasn’t a wood fire. Doubt it was magic, either.” He waved at the smoke with a hand and added, “And whoever or whatever did it might still be close by.”

“Great work, Sherlock,” Soren said, frowning. “Got any convenient footprints here to lead us to Professor Moriarty’s latest henchman?”

“Let me have a look,” I offered, not entirely understanding what Soren was getting at, but deciding to look for tracks all the same. It wasn’t easy under the dark canopy, and I was about to give up when I saw what looked like smaller holes dug slightly into the dirt, leading in a fixed pattern away from the smoke. “What could’ve made these tracks, and that burned part?” I wondered.

In the depths of the forest, I heard a strange noise that I couldn’t identify, but Soren and Link seemed to recognise. “I think we’re about to find out,” Soren said, stomping the ground with his foot and placing the butt of the spear into his arch. “It’s getting closer!”

A bright yellow ball of energy burst out of a bush, burning the leaves as it passed, hitting Soren directly in the chest.

He yelled in pain and fell to the ground, clutching at the spot where he was hit, as a strange being stepped out from behind the burned bush. It looked like a crab, but it was large and made of metal, and there were two small objects inside its claws. One of them was still glowing the same yellow as its projectile had. Its eyes, on two long stalks, looked lazily between each of us, and it opened its claws, pointing the objects inside directly at me. They started glowing again, and I tensed up to dodge.

It didn’t turn out to be necessary, as Link drew his sword and sliced through the monster, cutting it in half. A lot of sparks came from the pieces inside as it collapsed. Strangely, a small blue bird flew out from inside the monster, chirping and flying away as quickly as possible.

“What was that thing?” Twilight asked.

Link kicked at the collapsed husk. “A Badnik. Didn’t expect to see any of these here, but I guess I shouldn’t have ruled it out, considering we’re all here...” More sounds came from the same direction as the crab had, and he raised his sword again. “If you can arm yourselves, you’d better do it. There’s more kinds than just that one, and with Soren out of the picture, we’ll need to be ready for anything. We’ll probably have to protect him, too, but the best defence is a good offence. We’ll take them out before anything worse can happen!”

I reached into my belt and pulled my two bowguns out, and Twilight did the same with her wand. I still didn’t understand how it worked, but it was convenient to have them with a giant metal beetle on a single wheel charging at me. I fired blindly towards it, firing about a dozen arrows. I didn’t see exactly how many hit the metal monster, but it was enough to knock it off balance. Link cut it in half as it fell, releasing a grey rabbit, which ran off as quickly as it could.

A loud buzzing noise came next, and a large blue bee-like monster flew in, pointing its stinger at me. It fired another glowing yellow projectile, which I jumped out of the way of. As I took aim, I realised that Twilight was already throwing a spell. A rapid gust of wind started to batter at its thin wings, knocking it to the ground where I filled it with arrows. The combined assault caused it to explode suddenly, releasing another grey rabbit, which like the others started running as soon as it hit the ground.

“Huh. Pretty weak, if a couple of attacks like that can bring ‘em down, but I guess that’s only to be expected,” Link said. “That Motobug should’ve left a trail from wherever it came. We might be able to find who’s behind this, though I can guess already. Not so much Professor Moriarty,” he said to Soren, who didn't respond, “as Doctor Robotnik.”

“Or we might find nothing but a lot more Badniks,” Twilight countered. “Perhaps even too many for us to defeat. And what about Soren?” He was still lying on the ground, groaning. I could see that a hole had been burned in his shirt, which revealed the burns on his skin.

“He’s not bleeding or anything,” Link said. “He’ll probably be fine. Just gotta remember where we left him. And, uh, hope no more Badniks come this way...” He looked from Twilight to me, and I was frowning strongly. “Look, we don’t have the time or the ability to fix him up right now, and we can’t just carry him around with us. We’ll just have to hope that nothing tries to kill him until we can get him back to Ponyville, along with all those ponies who were kidnapped... and hopefully haven’t been stuffed into a Badnik. Yet.”

He was staring back at me just as intensely, and I turned away first. “Okay... you win.” I knelt down and touched Soren’s hand, and he turned towards me. “We’re going to be right back. Just stay here and try not to get killed, okay?” With a groan, he nodded, and I turned towards the track that the strange beetle, the Motobug, had left behind. “The tracks start here,” I said. “Let’s get going, before... how’d you say it, partner? Before anything worse can happen.”

Link and Twilight both nodded, and with a last look back at Soren, we headed deeper into the Everfree Forest.

~~

The burning pain was all I could think about after the others had left. With very little ambient sound and not much to see on the canopy, I didn’t have anything else to try and focus on to get away from it. In search of anything at all, I finally noticed a faint rhythmic pounding on the dirt. Unable to consider that it could be something dangerous, I groaned again, and the pounding stopped before speeding up in my direction.

I heard a woman’s voice, though I couldn’t make out what she was saying, and I faintly felt myself being dragged before I finally passed out.

Author's Note:

The idea I had for NaNoWriMo burnt itself out long before fifty thousand, and once I realised that, I couldn't get motivated for writing it any further. So I went back to this.

Next time: A new Player, a boss fight, and Twilight remembers something else important.

Comments

[Ise no Kami]

Just from the description, this is sounding a lot like The World Ends With You.

At this point, I can make a video game reference for practically anything.

[NerfedFalcon]

7092789 I dunno. I never really saw the connection myself. It's Final Fantasy more than anything, hence Soren's initial admission.

[Ise no Kami]

7093644 While I haven't started reading this one, the comments about pairing people up and the "Things to Do in Ponyville When You're Dead" arc also fit in with the TWEWY reference. In that game, Players, people who have died, play the Reaper's game to try to get a second chance at life. In order to survive against the game's monsters and the Reapers, Players must form pacts, partnering up so they can use the powers granted to them by the Underground, the plane of the afterlife.

[NerfedFalcon]

7093907 I played it. The title was actually more a reference to the film, Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead. The Game here has nothing to do with the Reapers' Game. Soren and the others aren't dead.

Also, the final chapter of the arc is going up soon.