The-Fluttercord-Fangirl, also known as Kylux4Ever on AO3 and Fanfiction.net. Pegasister 4 laif. Fluttercord 4 ever. My fav animals are kitties. Green is awesome. (totally out of theme) KYLUX!
Fluttershy invites her best friend, Discord, to a slumber party. While he's busy she visits her friends. Then she and Discord have their much awaited slumber party. And they try to hide an important secret about each
WARNING: FLUTTERCORD STORY, don't like don't read. English is my second language.
I apologize for not updating in a few months, i have been busy with my own life.
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can't wait for more chapters
6624840
why thank you so much! this is my first fanfic and it just got posted i never tought anyone would like it that fast! Chapter 2 might come out in a few days.
Becoming the nitpicking I am. I suggest;
1-Capitalize your I's.
2-
You should say; "Oh, Discord still hasn't come yet. I'm starting to get worried!" 'Shy sighed.
3-To make cutaways for your story, use - by the link to make the lines for you.
4-Fix spelling and punctuation; for example:
This is how you spell disappointed.
It's thought not tought.
5-Be more descriptive in your settings and your characters actions. Sometimes you want to put these. She smiled, she frowned, she grinned, she blinked/in confusion, glanced, glared, groaned, stammered, muttered, froze, the yellow pegasus, the draconquss, the multicolored mare, said, uttered, and so on.
Anyway I think you did a good chapter.
6625509
Thank you for your suggestions. The spelling mistakes are because of English not being my main language XD I'll fix those mistakes right away.
I'm sooooo excited for the next chapter !!!!!!!!
6625769
thank you im so glad you like it
Cute chapter indeed, Fluttercord fan myself :P
I will return when next chapter is up.
But maybe you should try think of adding more description of the surroundings so the reader gets more images of what's going on and where things are finding place, and maybe point out if something is going on in the background.
For example: Discord hugs back as Fluttershy gives him a big hug, while Angle Bunny makes puke expression over the view he got of them from the couch.
The more details you can put in, the more interesting it gets.
6627522
Thank you, I always apreciate constructive criticism. I will be sure to use some of your suggestions in the next chapter
6627912 You're welcome, and your also welcome to ask for an opinion or help if needed.
It's good so far but I realize that used to work on transition sentence is a bit more so the events flow better. It's pretty good all things considered however, it's pretty cute
6633517
Thank you i love feedback and some constructive critism
(Whatever its spelled like lol)
6633735 criticism. And no problem. Just keep writing and you'll get the hang of it!
I have returned like I said I would :P
Again, it's cute, yet it's a little "dry" to read.
so something need to happen.
It's missing something to spice up the middle of the story before the ending.
A story starts out nice and slow, then it builds up for the main event/plot, the event/plot happens, then the story clams down again towards the ending.
Remember it's Discord your dealing with here, he is never calm for a long time
Sure Fluttershy have "tame" him, but still.
I will return again next time if I'm still welcome
6636386
Thank you for returning
I KNOW! I just dont know what it's missing so I can put it there D:
Discord's quite hard to write, as you may, or may not know, (lol) I try my best C:
Of course you're welcome to return! I love your suggestions stuff thingies!
6636779 I write Fluttercord stuff myself, and I find Discord is really easy to get into character, because he is so random.
You could have Discord and Angel Bunny fighting behind Fluttershy's back, let him use his chaos against Angel. And Angel bunny beating the crap out of Discord the best he can with his tiny paws
Also, Angel would never go and get snacks for Discord, not even if Fluttershy asks him nicely
6636816
Thanks for the suggestions. I have a small idea for an edit in this chapter. Also maybe i will read one of your fanfics.
I'm back, and have read the changes.
You got some more things going on, that's good, and your getting a better idea of how to keep Discord in character, also good.
Could still need a little work, but it's better then when I read it the first time.
6638925 Thank you
(i love this emote too much) I agree with everything you just typed C:
also i just noticed there is a part that looks like it says
and for some reason i found it funny lol
6639852 And PUFF! Marshmallows comes out of the mirror with tiny black and white striped suits on
6640600 XD omg that would be so random
6694535
YAY
am I the only one that thinks that this can easily go wrong?
Please keep this story going! I want s’more!😋