Beginning
I was exhausted, lying in the grass, as the elements moved closer.
"Wait a second, can’t I have a last word?" I asked.
"It entirely depends on what you are going to say" Twilight said, looking down at me.
I looked up at twilight, and started to speak, slowly, and clearly.
"You have two options, one is to let me go..." I was interrupted by twilight.
"We can’t do that, you are too dangerous" I opened my eyes more and spoke with a much louder voice.
"The second is to kill me! I refuse to become one of Celestia's puppets!" I looked away "not again" I said, with a much lower volume, but twilight still heard it. Her curious nature got the better of her.
"What do you mean, one of her puppets, and again?" she asked, still ready for anything.
"she has done this once before, I was able to break the elements spell two years ago, and become myself again, I pretended to be her puppet until now, so I could get away, as far as possible" I looked up again "after all, if you can use the most powerful being on the planet, for your own gains, why wouldn't you?"
"I will ask again, what do you mean by one of her puppets?" twilight said.
"exactly what I said, for the past 1017 years, I have been her puppet, forced to do what she asked me to, because the elements had 'reformed' me" I said, turning around, getting up from the grass, but was unable to stand up fully, so I was now kneeling in front of Twilight and her friends. "Let me ask this, what proof did you have of Sombra's guilt, other than Celestia's word?" I could see twilight was about to respond, but I cut her off. "And what happened to the crystal ponies?" she closed her mouth, deep in thought. ”what about discord? He was just spreading some chaos, after centuries, of almost no chaos happening, which is what gives him his power" I looked around, seeing them all stare at me in disbelief.
"So what you are saying is, no one we have used the elements on, has ever deserved it?" twilight asked, a hint of anger in her voice.
"Correct, think about it, discord is 'reformed' by the help of Fluttershy, but he still creates chaos from time to time, but on a smaller scale, why do you think he is doing that? Any idea at all, other than 'it’s because he is the embodiment of chaos'" this time twilight looked deep in thought, I was just about to speak when Fluttershy steeped up.
"So you are saying, that he is not reformed?" she asked, not as shy as she used to be.
"No, it worked, but he is still powered by chaos, if chaos were to completely stop, he would eventually, run out of magic, and die, him making so much chaos when he was freed from the stone, was simply to fill his reserves, without it he would have died after a few minutes". Finally twilight was done thinking.
"So you are saying, we are just brainwashing people in the name of Celestia?" sounding rather mad, either at me, or Celestia.
"No, however you have been doing as she has asked you, and you have not really questioned it, why is it, you all follow her blindly?"
"Because she is the princess, she is the ruler of Equestria". Twilight responded.
"And why do you think she is that? Would you follow Luna without asking why she wants something done?"
"That entirely depends on what she wants"
"Point made, if Celestia wants something, you just get it for her, if Luna wants it, you do the right thing, and ask what and why" twilight was now staring, in a combination of shock, and wonder.
"I think it’s time for a story, if I do this right, one of my wishes will be fulfilled" I said sitting down.
"I love stories!" pinkie shouted, somehow getting a couch and popcorn out of her mane, but I knew better than to question the logic behind her actions, after all, I was partly to blame for said logic.
"Let’s start from the beginning of it all, from before I got to Equestria"
Paris Earth 2018.
"I see you brought some money, but did you include the interest?" the man in front of me said, inspecting the bag full of money.
"Of course I did, I'm not that stupid, now hand her over" I said, looking at her, hoping this would be the end of it.
"Well, how about my working fee? Did you include that?" he said, his face suddenly getting a very smug smile.
"No, because I pay the money, to your boss, then it is up to him how much your work is worth, after all, this mess could have been avoided, if you had not messed up the job, so I had to clean up after you"
"Why you little, how can you be so confident, I won’t kill her, just to see what happens?"
"Because I doubt you want your boss hunting you down, for disobeying him, I got the money, which you now have, so my part of the deal is done, as agreed with him, I was to get the girl, and we would never see each other again, unless you want to visit Norway"
"Maybe I should shoot her, I can always say, you tried to kill us, and take her, without paying" the man said, pointing the gun at the girl, her eyes wide in fear.
"you know as well as I do, that he never lets anything happen by chance, so all the meeting places, has cameras" I said, pointing up towards a small black object on one of the supports. "There is just one of the camera's making sure it all goes as planned" he lowered the gun, looking around, he saw 4 more camera's, in different locations.
"You do make a point. However, you don't seem to remember me at all, or maybe you know who I am" he asked, as I just looked around at his companions.
"Really? I just said, I was the one, who unfucked the job you fucked up, and now you are asking if I know you!?"I shouted at him "either you are as stupid as your boss says, or maybe you are just really, really bad with luck, but as far as I can remember, your boss and I had a deal, so why I’m still standing here, without the girl, is a mystery to me, and I'm sure he will call you any minute now, to tell you the same thing" almost as if on cue, his phone started to ring.
"Just one sec" he said, holstering his gun, I could almost hear his boss scream at him, to stop fucking around, and be done with the job. But what happened next, was something I did not expect, he shot the phone, and told his men to start shooting the cameras. "now it’s just you, me, the girl and my men, are you still so tough?" he asked pointing the gun at me, luckily, I knew his boss had men in the building, ready to move, since this was not his first time, disobeying orders, so I just needed to stall for time, and I would be home free.
"It entirely depends, are you a man, who will fight me fair, or a coward, who will just shoot me, or order his men to do it, in case you miss?" I knew I was making him, very mad, but I was hoping his honor was at least somewhere in there.
"Do you really think it's wise to taunt a guy with a gun?" he asked, waving it around a bit.
"No, but what choice do I have? Unless you lose it, you cannot fight me fairly, unless of course" I said, looking at one of his guys "he gives me a gun, we can do this western style, and see who lives"
"aah, there's the fella I knew, and I was hoping you would say that, so I brought these" he said, receiving a small case from one of his guys, opening it, revealed two revolvers, he smirked at me. "So are you ready for this? You even get to pick which one you want to use, just in case you think one is loaded with blanks"
I slowly walked over to him, and picked up the one closest to him, and checked it, looking at the ammo, pulling the hammer back, and pulling the trigger, it clicked, but I could not be sure if the firing pin was in there, but it looked fine. I did the same with the other one, before picking the first one I held.
"It seems you are as thorough as you always are" he said, picking up the other gun, and handing the case back to the guy.
"It’s what I’m paid to be, so it would be pointless if I stopped midway, don't ya think?"
"True enough"
"So how are we doing this, draw? Back to back, 10 paces?"
"neither, we are doing this my way, we both hold the gun, shooting from the hip, and when my guy here, drops the coin, we both shoot, and since we only get one shot, whoever has the best aim, wins"
"Interesting, what’s the distance?"
"One side of the tower, to the other, we should have just enough time, until my boss's men get here"
"Very well, may the best man win" I said, backing up to the railing, while he just turned his back on me, and walked over.
"Nick, if you may?" he asked, and one of his guy's, who I assume is Nick, walked out in the middle of us, holding a coin.
As he tossed the coin in the air, and dashed out of the way, time seemed to slow down, I made some small adjustments, to my aim, and waited for the coin to hit the ground.
*pling*
We both shot, sounding like a single shot, I hit him in the middle of his chest, while he hit my right shoulder. The kick from the round, sent me over the railing, dropping the gun in the process.
"Damn, I was hoping I would be able to get my daughter back, before I had to die" I thought to myself, as I fell down from the Eifel tower. Time still seemed slow, so I could see the men, rushing up the stairs, almost at the top, all carrying different guns.
That’s when a bright light, blinded me and I felt like, gravity reversed.
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Moar plz
6503674 if you want more, then get around 10 people, and get them to write a comment similar to yours. i will ditch the other story, that I'm rewriting at the moment, and do this story only.
so gather people, and you wish shall be granted sooner.
6504585 i shall do this
Interesting so far, a little rushed I think but interesting.
6504589 i shall be waiting for it :)
6504688 sure, it might be rushed, but then again, it was not really meant to be uploaded, but i just felt like it could be good to have up here.
6504925 ok it will be done
i would like to see more :P
6505009 join the club :) burnsgame123 also wants more, only 8 more to go, and i will ditch the other stories, in favor of this one.
6505031 whoop whoop
6505009
6505031 Do fake account's also count?
PS.
MOAR!!!
6508067 in some way yes, but i might look down on it a bit, but then again, i cant tell real account from fake, other than if there is NO info at all on it, other than a username and a favorite of my story, if its a fake account that is being used, i will let it count. so don't make empty accounts.
I quite like the direction you're going with this please update more
6508165
oh stop being a spoil sport and just work on the story i'm interested so are other people.
6596591 very well, for now any other story(the one I'm currently working on) is on hiatus, and this one will be a focus point from now on, until I get far enough with it, or get stuck in it.
Everyone happy?
6597288
No.
i demand cookies with the next story dammit and a hug.
6599450 well, where do you live? might be able to do both :P
6600186
.......i need a adult?
6600792 i am an adult >:)
6600915
yeah anyway EIC also seems interesting i'll be sure to give that a read later on this story here seems like it would good as a kinda short thing maybe a few chapters depending on how you wanna play it out i'm not sure if you have put much thought into it yet though.
6603028 i have thought about it for a while, thinking a minimum of 6 chapters, to explain it all, and experiment with certain ideas in the story. but i have not yet set a maximum chapters yet, im gonna continue until it gets done, which is still in the future somewhere.
im glad you like EIC, though i must say, it is very rushed, which is why i was rewriting it, of course i did it a dumb way, adding more content from the end, instead of from the beginning(did it backwards) so im currently stuck in that story, which is why i began this one.
6603260
i'm afraid writing was never my strong point i can do green text stuff on 4chan more or less decently.
but my grammer is horrible so is the structure of everything.
but generally if you are having issues with another story going to work on something else does usually help.
if you were intending to a re-write sometimes it's often better to delete the whole thing and keep a lil nootpad with all the main points and plot elements then make the whole thing better.
for me i can't can't dedicate myself to sitting there and working on something for longer than a day or two.
i made a lil "spoof" fanfic which i somewhat went out of my way to make horrible this was pretty early in the fandom days and things were kinda just starting to turn into the furfag dominated scene we have nowdays and i kinda more or less vented out while making fun of allot of topical things going on in the fandom at the time.
removed it when i actually started reading more stories on here in the last few weeks.
actually in truth the only thing i actually did enjoy doing and put "some" effort into was fluffpone but of course this was back int he very very start of the fandom before it become all basically "hey let's jerk off about killing basically half sentient Pomeranians" that along with what i felt was the show being more and more watered down really made me loss interest in the fandom and regardless of my motto being that if it makes my penis twitch i'll go for it i still find the majority of what comes from the fandom either just cringy as hell or pandering to a sub fetish just for fame both of which just disgusted me enough to call off my status of "fan" now i just lurk around at random.
6603310 sounds like a great plan, i will keep the first chapter as is, as it got the most positive feedback, while the rest was getting negative feedback.
but for now, im working on this story, because so many people want it, but im keeping the other story on hiatus, so i can resume it whenever i have the time.
6603354
Well depending on how bad it actually was i'd say just start to work on it at random nothing major paragraph here and there type of thing off to the side whenever you have allot of free time one day you know? really it's a pretty common fault i'm noticed people get caught up in only doing one thing and just ignore everything else even if you knock this story out in a month or two if you manage to put a lil work into fixing the other one while doing this one you might actually have it all more or less wrapped up in time to finish it off without having to rush out fixes to be able to continue the other story.
6504585
Wow, and this was written before 'Discordant Harmony' aired, so what you said about discord wasnt so far off, eh? 😉
8373460
apparently not.. never knew i would kinda predict a fact about discord.. just wanted it to be funny and stuff..
also, christ. no new chapter since may.. gonna have to fix that soon, just hope i can get this all to fit together how i want it to, and get an end to the crazy mare arc of the story. been going on for a while now, and i am starting to get annoyed at thinking about more crazy mare chapters. i wanna get past that soon so i can get to all the good stuff i have planned.