• Member Since 10th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 25th, 2023

xluferx


Writing is a new hobby of mine, and I want to share it with you. From my proud city I shall write and from there I will read. xluferx is similar to my name but I prefer Lufer

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Source

But what a wonderful day!
Luna, Princess of the night and the moon has reached the age of maturity.
She is now a beautiful princess.
And such a beautiful princess like her deserves a man worthy of her stature.
Candidates all over the world had come for her hand, offering luxurious gifts, each one surpassing the other.
Mountains of Silver, Mountains of Gold, Jewels, exotic pets, lands, castles, armies and much more.
But it wasn’t enough.
Rejected.
One by one the candidates had been being rejected.
Then what could be considered enough to satisfy her?
What the requirements are for be considered worthy before her eyes?
Despite this; one young man came as another candidate but unlike the rest he is not a noble much less a man who possess wealth, what worth could he have?
He is only a plebeian, a mere commoner.


READ IMPORTANT!
-Fic inspired on a short story that I was told when I was only child.
-Humanized ponies.


Popular stories again 14/10/2015
Thanks guys!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

great story Lufer

Damm that was good

Loved it. Loved the romance.

Ridiculous.

This is a very good story - I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it because of how badly certain parts are written. There's nothing wrong with the narrative or the characters, it just comes across as being written by someone who doesn't have English as their first language.

Normally bad grammar, inconsistent tenses, and poor spelling would have me giving up on a story before I'd even finished half of it, but I like the story and characterization of all of this so much that it was easy to read through - I was sucked in.

Mostly, I'd just recommend you get an editor who speaks the same native language you do, but that has a fluent grasp of English to help get things said the way you mean them in a more well written format.

strange but enjoyable reading. Strange because i have no idea what made luna like the guy, she didn't even talk to him. It felt like she learned a bit at the end but I don't quite get why she went from upset at not having suitors, to fine with having none.

It feels like the actions in the story don't seem like they match up with How luna changes.

Perhaps I'm missing things.

Still, its a nice fairy-tale like read.

Her dress was another commission to the best tailor in all of Equestria and it was finished a week before her birthday. Sadly because her sister, mother and father saw the dress and figuratively their jaws dropped, her father face palmed after seeing his daughter's dress, he understood why quite a fortune was gone from the treasury. The whole royal family had a long but very serious talk about humility and modesty, especially about humility.

Luna noticed that he was not in the peak of youth, but he neither was old; he was between them, so it could pass. Besides, his attire was flamboyant he wore vines, but not real ones. His vines were made of copper and well placed around his upper-body. His hair was white as the snow, his eyes were a tone of purple, his skin was tanned and much to her surprise each of his pointy ears had earrings made of silver in the shape of roses.

The word is 'copper', the metal that is mixed with tin to make bronze.

I would recommend slowing down and re-reading this very carefully. I counted so many errors, both in grammar and sentence and paragraph structure, that I gave up a fourth of the way through. If you can't find a proofreader to check this over and fix it for you, then I'll do it.

DAMN JUST WHEN I THOUGHT LUNA WOULD BE HAPPY. Nice twist though all in all I LOVED WELL DONE:pinkiehappy:

Well that was sad as fuck, good job

Holy crap,

I don't even know what to say.... Not matter how much i praise you or the story i cannot do you or it justice,

Loved that twist.

Are you worth?

Yeah, I think so.

A very sad story i actually wish i didn't read.

Don't get me wrong, It was GOOD! So damn good and while there is a purpose and a lesson in it I cant stomach much more sadness in this world with all the problems we face each day and the uncertain future before us.

I feel for the Luna in this story, and Orbis for his perseverance and his decision. But damn i felt like crying and this is the sort of stuff that makes people do terrible things that break their psyche and in many cases take their own life. I sort of expected Luna to do just that as that sort of pain on top of her hope and love crushed would break people........

I have nothing more to say, good story but not for the faint of heart, Be warned future readers..........

If I could, I would give you an Oscar. Truly a piece of literary art despite the insignificant typos. And that twist! Amazing. If there is one thing I would love to see it would definitely be Luna reuniting with Orbis. But nevertheless this story has earned a favorite. :yay: :heart:

Twas a great story. Id give it a 8/10 (-1 of for a bad of bit spelling, and -1 because It was missing something (in my opinion)

At first I thought this might be the pony version of half - life: full life consequences, but grammar etc aside, it's a good story! I like the old moral fairytale type stories, so thanks for posting this :twilightsmile:

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