A Conversation
Ah tilted my head, the setting sun glancing my eyes. "Huh?"
"Would it matter?" Mac said, "Would it matter if I was actually a mare?"
I stared at him. Things had been so cozy up here under the tree up 'till now. All I'd said was he'd made an ugly mare and now he looked right chuffed.
I winced. "Big Mac, I was kidding. You did a good job with the disguise, it was just...It's really hard to make a stallion like you look like a mare. It ain't about the effort, it's about your body."
He shook his head. "Apple Bloom my costume quality is not what I'm talking about. I meant what if the disguise was real? What if I actually was a trans mare? Would you still be calling me ugly? More importantly are you going to go around calling other trans folks ugly?"
My eyes went wide. "Mac, are... Are you sayin' you're some kinda trans pony?"
He crossed his forehooves and gave me an even look. "Like I said. Would it matter if I was?"
I turned away. This was just too much. "I mean, it wouldn't be polite to call anypony that, but y'all know I don't like lyin'. Even if y'all were a girl you'd still be a really ugly one... I mean, not that I..."
I couldn't believe I'd just said that. I was certain I'd just earned myself a grounding, but Big Mac actually looked sympathetic. "That may be sugar cube," He said. "But you know I was trying to look convincing right? And you know there are mares that ain't so blessed and try to look nice with what they've got?"
I huffed. "Of course I know that! I do read you know... And I know how hard you were trying, how much you care! You ran a race in high heels for me! You wanted to help me win so bad you went all out just so I'd have a partner! Makeup, accessories, shoes... All of which you had... right at hoof... In your size..." I paused some things were starting to fit together.
He shrugged. "I suppose I did."
I felt a hard lump forming in my gut. "And... And you like little sensitive things, like dressing up in silly sweaters and playin' with that Smarty Pants doll..."
He nodded.
I gulped. "And... And y'all don't talk much. Like you really avoid it. It's like ya hate the sound of your own voice..."
He nodded again. "Guess so."
My world was crumbling around me. "I... I..." I had no idea what to say.
Big Mac continued. "Let's say you're right. Let's say I was a girl born wrong, like a bunch of poor fillies. Let's say I could never look like a biological mare ever, but I still wanted to look as much like a girl as I could. If I was goin' all out, trying everything I could to look my best as the real me, would you still call me ugly?"
I struggled for something to say. "I mean... Mac, you just look so much like a stallion! Your bones ain't built to look female and I know there's a lot of things they could do to make y'all look more like a girl, but I know changin' your bones ain't one of them. You'd always be stuck somewhere in the middle..." I was starting to get worried actually. If he was a she what would happen to him?
He raised an eyebrow. "And ponies who look a little like one gender and a little like another can't look good?"
I groaned. This was gettin' silly. "I didn't say that! It's just..." I let out a breath. "I guess, they wouldn't be what I'd call normal, but that don't matter so much. I know you'd try your hardest, and Applejack and Rarity and everyone would help you so maybe you could look and sound real good eventually."
I put a hoof on his leg, whatever he was he was still my sibling. "But no matter how you look, you'll always be a beauty on the inside. You're a hero to me Mac, I've known that since I was a filly. And looks don't have nothing to do with that."
He smiled, I swear I saw a tear in his eye. "Thanks Apple Bloom."
He put a big red hoof around my shoulder and hugged me tight. We just sat there for a moment, just staring out at the sunset, warm and happy.
"Soooo..." I said finally. "Y'all are actually my sister?"
"Nope!" He said.
My eyes went wide. "B-but the whole talk! Your dress!"
"That thing? I just bumped into it in the attic when we were lookin' earlier. There's a lot of old clothes up there."
"But in that size?"
He shrugged. "Like I said, some ladies are big." He got up, dusting himself off. "We'd best get back and hear what happened with AJ. Should be quite the yarn."
I started stammering, "But- Mac! What about the sweaters, and the Smarty Pants doll, and the not talking!" I cried.
He chuckled. "I just don't like runnin' my mouth all the time. And boys are allowed to be sensitive souls too ya know."
"But, but-!"
He smirked, making his way down the hill. "Don't you dawdle now little apple! We've got family to greet."
"But, what the-?" Uggh!"
I marched down the hill, muttering to myself. "I swear, that stallion's kooky..."
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Seriously, how many of these are we going to get? Not saying the story is bad, its just a bit repetitive.
Why...? Just...why would anyone care?
6491852
Beats me, but I sure get a bunch of funny looks.
6491839
I'll admit as I was writing it I was wondering if maybe it was too much of a stretch from the original, but I thought something important about people that don't pass needed to be said in light of the recent episode and the format seemed to fit so I thought I'd give it a try.
Although it already looks like it's not going to be well received... I can never read this crowd.
6491891 maybe because cartoon characters in drag is a light-hearted and silly joke running all the way back to Looney Tunes and Bugs Bunny. It's a dumb, childish laugh; not really the place for heavy social commentary.
I feel like this is an important issue myself, and you seem like a good enough writer, but I think the problem is that is was based off an existing story. I think that doing it in the same style as "Would It Matter If I Was" waters down the important message and makes it seem more like a parody and less like a piece of necessary commentary. I think it could have worked, but it just didn't hit the right marks for me, sorry.
6491986
I mean, I get that social commentary wasn't the aim of the episode, but fanfiction is often a force for good to fill in the blanks of a world where certain things occur off screen. I've read featured stories on this site about fillies getting cancer and social workers asking Rarity what she would do if after she adopted a mentally abused Scootaloo the little filly came home with drugs.
I guess it's just that even when I'm fully dressed some people still instantly identify me as male and it kinda sucks... I know cross dressers being funny is a common trope, but I'm not sure it's an entirely healthy one.
6492033
Yeah... A parody really wasn't my intention. I just thought the format would fit and I feel like the original "Would it Matter if I Was" Was a solid and potentially important piece of writing so I felt it would make a nice allusion especially considering that the original story was about judging people without knowing them.
6492042
It's funny when it's someone who isn't transexual, or even a transvestite, does it because it's silly and awkward. They don't know quite what their doing and it makes for some light-hearted slapstick. It's sort of like a foreign person trying to speak a language they have only heard and never spoken.
However, if the character was ACTUALLY stated as trans and they they were still making jokes, then it would be inappropriate.
6492064
I do think you are a good writer, and I do hope you keep trying to push society; I just think it would come off as more sincere as your own unique piece.
6492098
See, that's the thing though, being silly and awkward when presenting female is something I still struggle with long after coming out.
Note, for the record I really liked the episode, but it did dig into a few raw nerves, not because of the subject matter, but because of how hard it is to not look like just a guy in a dress.
Like, imagine you had a limp right? And people thought it was funny how you tripped and fell all the time. That can make for some good slapstick, but if you watched a slapstick routine about having a limp... You get the picture.
As the great Mel Brooks said: "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open manhole and die."
6492042 So write a story where trans issues are actually a relevant place to go. Remember when they first introduce Zecora and everybody is all spooked about her? Imagine writing a fanfic based on that where you launch into a marathon rant about racism and draw heavy-handed parallels to modern day shootings by police.
Fanfiction is about taking the source further than it was meant to go, yes, but come on. You can't just suck all the fun out of a silly joke and make it all about sexuality. If we can't even joke about this stuff in perfectly good and innocent fun without people getting offended and making a big fuss, you as trans people make yourselves look fragile and thin-skinned.
6492126
You also have to realize when something offends people. Even if it is a bit silly, it still hurts people.
Yes I think we should care about other's feelings.
But no I don't think we should bend over backwards for people either.
6492116
6492126
If you're interested in works with a more original bent on a similar topic, have you seen my story Excuses... Excuses...? I really do feel as though it would be more to your liking.
For the record I genuinely had no idea that the story here was coming off as an angry rant. It seems to be one of my greatest flaws as a writer.
6491891
It is. You're stretching a standard cartoon joke for fifty years and counting (or perhaps more) into social commentary. Meaning no disrespect to you pertelote345, but if someone tried to turn Bug Bunny in lipstick and a dress into something about transsexuality, everyone would laugh at them--including transsexual people.
It certainly could be said but needed to be said is ridiculous. If this episode had someone laughing at Mac for being in drag, then you might have the most vague excuse for turning it into something, but no one even blinked. I think it's fair to say that people are reacting negatively to this because it's such an extreme reach and such a ham-handed attempt to turn something silly that had nothing to do with the episode's point, into a serious point about a very complicated and convoluted issue, that it turns people off. I know it had that effect on me.
6492144 I don't think being offended grants you any special rights or treatment. Sure, it hurts, I get it. But I'm not going to lie and say that the story's better than it is as a result. That doesn't help anyone.
6492149 That's what we've got comments sections for! Live and learn. Maybe next time, don't automatically assume that a male character in a dress is some kind of reference or veiled insult to your sexuality. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. Cross-dressing jokes are a comedic staple that likely predates your parents' existence by decades.
6492042
I'm sure it does but with all due respect to you, there are some people with the body type to really bring off a convincing androgeny, and some people who do not. Like your biological gender, having the specific features of skeleton and muscle to look female in drag is sheer random genetic chance. I understand that it gets under your skin but even people who are making an honest attempt are going to, at first blush, identify someone with a square chin and a distinct Adam's apple (not saying this fits you, just using it as an example) as male.
Most people tend to take cross-dressing as an attempt to be zany and silly, so they respond to what they believe is a joke by treating it as a joke and laughing, working under the theory that someone making a joke would appreciate a positive response.
6492149
I'll make sure to check it out when I have time.
6492149
Actually, I didn't read it as an angry rant. I read it as what I call an "issues story" where someone writes a bit of fiction because fiction creates a place for them to alleviate their burdens and make a response to those who've mistreated them by depicting the unkind people getting their just desserts. Generally speaking, I see this sort of story most often from homosexual writers on this site who have been treated horribly and use the story as a way to scream to the world about their pain and create a universe in which their tormentors lose.
6492194
I've already directed a couple of people to a piece of mine which might deal with this matter with more nuance, Excuses... Excuses.... If this story wasn't to your liking, I encourage you to give that one a try.
Can you say: 'Author's Tract'?
How many have we gotten already?
6491839
So you went and did it. Now I wanna try my hand at this, see if people like my view
Disclaimer: I haven't read this story yet.
6492170
Appeal to tradition is fallacious. Jokes that target people who occupy a dangerous place in society are always more hurtful and potentially harmful than those targeting people who aren't in physical danger just for existing or expressing themselves.
But when it comes to the actual episode, I didn't read it as a joke but a story about a sweet guy who wants to do anything to keep his family ties strong, which is one we've also heard before via the news. If there was a joke, it was on Apple Bloom for assuming Big Mac would be disqualified for being Big Mac.
The plays on Big Mac being awkwardly masculine were not really comfortable even for me, but what is missed by the reactionaries is that while those moments startle ponies around him or make them awkward and uncomfortable, they don't mock and mistreat him because of this. As ever, FiM strives to teach a moral lesson in many episodes (some more subtle than others), and I think this one is fine.
(edit: I'm not sure really why I'm directing the latter two paragraphs to you. Convenience, perhaps.)
Appeal to tradition is fallacious.
6492649 Ok if you honestly think that in 1939, Bugs Bunny was drawn dressed in drag as a means of putting down trans people, and that the only reason I'm okay with it now is because I "appeal to tradition," then you have completely misread my point and there's probably nothing I can do to clarify the issue in a way you'd find acceptable.
6492288 I have it open now and am giving it a try. I wish to emphasize my complete lack of personal animus against you in this. I just think it was a poor approach, that is all.
6492718
I do not think that, and did not say that. Clarification: What I am saying is that this kind of thing being a joke just for existing is one symptom of an unhealthy attitude that hurts people in other ways. I mean come on, at least try harder (as 99% of comedy doesn't) than "that's a man in a dress, everybody laugh with me!", which isn't even a joke, or "that man in a dress is tricking a man into being attracted to him, everybody laugh at the tricked man with me!", which plays on homophobia. The latter in particular has created a destructive stereotype about transgender women that is deeply ingrained in society and is probably the root of a lot of the violence they suffer.
This isn't specifically a trans issue - the underlying issue is the societal enforcement of a diseased set of beliefs, which are very black-and-white, regarding what it means to be a man or a woman. I also think this enforcement hurts most people in general, not just trans people or gay people but the human population as a whole, in a multitude of ways. This is still related to transgender folk in particular because they tend to bear the brunt of it, though, and they have little to no security of any kind in most of the world as a result.
As far as appeal to tradition, you did basically say "(Appeal to tradition), so stop being a baby." You didn't give another reason. Feel free to do so, I guess? I'll give a reason why I don't protest much, in return: While male cross-dressing is usually villainised (such as, as was mentioned, Bugs Bunny doing it just to fuck with people because he's a "stinker"), there are few other places (outside of the Internet, where you still usually have to know what you're looking for to find something) right now where someone so inclined can get the idea and say "Wait, holy shit, I can actually do that?!"
I mean, yes, you made other points, but you notice I'm not arguing with them. I guess I could point out your saying things like, "don't automatically assume that a male character in a dress is some kind of reference or veiled insult", and mention that this sounds reasonable due in part to my support of men who want to cross-dress? Or I could say I agree (having now read this story) that "I'm not going to lie and say that the story's better than it is (...) [t]hat doesn't help anyone."
I'm also feeling a disconnect in communication here, so if I'm missing something...
6493023
Yeah I disagree with this and everything else you've said so much that I don't want to be a part of this conversation anymore. This is just not a productive use of my time. I refuse to entertain these types of beliefs as if they are actually legitimate.
Good day.
So I came beck to read it. Yeah I'm not liking it. It's not the transgender premise, or any of that. That was not big Mac and Applebloom. Maybe identity thiefs but not then. I know Applebloom is a smart little girl but this would most likely be the extent of get knowledge, especially with her brother's “suspected” trans orientation. As for big Mac, be seemed to aggressive. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it felt like he was arguing instead of having a highly controversial conversation with a little girl. Although good idea backing up Mac's feminine showings to come to this conclusion, but in real life I doubt he'd just want to go full drag. I'm a guy, along with my little Pony I do effeminate things like hair, I wear clear nail polish, I groom regularly, but that doesn't mean I'm trans too. So all I have to say now is I didn't hate it, didn't enjoy it. My opinion won't matter, imma nap.
~Mr. L.Rager
6493064
6493023
i.imgflip.com/i4ixk.jpg
6493064
Rude.
Well, at least you can't say I didn't attempt to have a civil conversation.
6493133 I've been on the internet long enough to know that all hope of an actual intellectual discussion is pretty much gone the moment someone completely unironically equates a cartoon character wearing a dress with systematic violence against a minority group. It's just too absurd of a leap in logic for me to even consider following.
I was almost with you up until that point, because rereading your appeal to tradition comment after responding to it, I saw I'd actually misread an important sentence and got the wrong idea. Wouldn't have been against a bit more back-and-forth there, maybe. But if we're going to do the thing where intention doesn't matter and every character that wears a dress automatically has to be trans and therefore an attack on trans people and therefore the root cause of anti-trans hate crimes... I'm out, you're on another planet, and there's no oxygen in its atmosphere for me to breathe.
I mean, like, The Birdcage, right? You can't really call that movie anti-gay or anti-trans or anything; the most memorable and lovable character is Nathan Lane, and overall there's a very positive message there even if they do make a few jokes at his expense - they make jokes at everyone's expense, because that's how good comedy works. It was even praised by a gay rights group for "going beyond the stereotype," which it definitely does. Yet, at the end, they put the conservative politician in drag and march him out the door, and it's a big laugh because it's a reversal of expectations, it's the opposite of everything his character's been built up to, it's just good comedy. The average person sees that, has a laugh, but ultimately doesn't come away from it hating trans people. I'd argue the exact contrary; that insight into their community and seeing these characters as people makes us respect them more. When they then swarm in from the corners of the internet and try to take those kinds of jokes away or stomp around making a fuss because they're "offensive," then, well, that does more to make people annoyed with trans people than any joke in any cartoon ever made. Most rational people don't see a cartoon character in drag and immediately jump to sexuality, especially when a compelling reason has been established in the episode. Sexuality has no bearing on it until you make it have bearing on it - and then the first time trans people even enter the equation is as a force that's pointlessly offended over something that doesn't even apply to them, screaming about how it's all horribly unfair to their sexuality that a children's tv show is having a laugh by reversing expectations with a character in a context entirely removed from questions of sexuality. If anything causes people to dislike trans people, it's gotta be that, not the fact that some dumb cartoon rabbit wore a dress for a cheap laugh in 1939.
It's just... it's too much, it's too absurd. I can't take that belief seriously on any level. So I'm going to actually make good on what I said and duck out of the conversation now.
6493751
6493133
Okay...
I feel like this has been a bit odd to watch and I should say something.
For the record I think the episode was really good, and never implied anything about cross dressing or being trans.
However, just personally, for me, and not necessarily anyone else, the episode was a little painful to watch because it involved my fear of the way I present myself. It's kind of like how a bunch of people were really pained by watching Spike sing at the Equestria games. It wasn't a bad scene, it just inspired a bunch of empathy.
That said, I'm not sure what part of this is out of character for either of them. Applebloom has been noted to be very perceptive in the past so I don't think any of her observations required huge leaps of logic impossible for someone her age. Big Mac has played little pranks on Applebloom in the past (remember the shark fin incident) and he has been shown to be capable of being annoyed.
I guess I just don't get what the big issue with the characterization was.
As for the message... I guess it was just "don't be mean to people who have bad presentations and treat them like a joke". There really wasn't much more to it than that.
And as for the representation of trans women and cross dressers in media... Oh boy, that's a massive can of worms.
Do I find it troubling that for a long time a "man in a dress" was just there as the butt of a joke? yes.
Do I think that there are positive representations of trans people and cross dressers that are still funny like in "A Bird Cage"? Yes.
Do I think that this episode was a positive representation? Yes.
That's really about the extent of it. I have to say I'm a little scared by how massively down voted this fic has become though...
6493751
Can we make a spin-off of Godwin's Law stating that every single discussion on LGBT issues (or feminism) will eventually contain references to tumblr? I can't possibly be the only one who's sick of this.
6493817 no personal offense intended, but it's just not that well written. The changeling issue in the parent work, much as I personally think it failed miserably in execution, at least logically followed from its episode; this pulls trans issues out of thin air. The characters don't feel right, and your technical quality is lacking. It reads like someone working through insecurities by projecting them onto ponies. As a tool to help yourself come to grips with certain aspects of yourself, that's fine. As a piece for others' entertainment, it falls short of the mark.
You can do a decent trans story with MLP. I don't doubt that. But using the Would it Matter format makes you look like a parody. Which could work if you took a lighter, more jovial attitude toward it. But as a serious piece, it's gotta have a premise that makes logical sense. Frankly it's just not an entertaining read for most people. You're not a terrible writer, though, and I'm confident you can do better if you put your mind to it.
6493817
I personally suspected as much. Deepest sympathies, Pertelote, for the troubles and difficulties that have arisen for you around this aspect of yourself. Also...
...^ this. Couldn't have expressed this better myself.
That's an unfortunate manifestation of the eternal truth that humans have a herd mentality. You got initial downvotes so in waded the "me too" morons to click the downvote button without even paying attention to the fic or why the downvoters disapproved. This is why, incidentally, the site administrators initiated a policy of hiding votes until a certain mass had been accumulated: trying to prevent decent fics from being downvoted into the bedrock just because the first few people gave downvotes.
6493064 Yeah, uhh... that stereotype is pretty harmful, y'know. Like, seriously. Have you ever heard the term "trap"? Yeah, that's derived from that entire stereotype they were talking about. And that leads to extremely harmful attitudes towards trans people.
Like, harmful enough to kill them. And no, I'm not exaggerating.
6495164 Violence against trans people is a terrible thing. However the notion that cartoon characters wearing drag causes such violence is absurd. If you'd like to argue otherwise, you bear the burden of proof.
Please don't bypass the thing I'm saying in order to make a point about the evils of stereotyping when that was never what I was talking about in the first place.
6495275
Um, hi. I think there have been a few knots tied wrong in this web. From how I understand it, Miss Noun never said anything of the sort that you protest toward. Personally, I feel that this is a perfectly valid scenario that has some relevance to the episode. (And though the episode was rather tasteful, the "man in a dress" scenario played out as a malicious joke on a transgender individual's expense has unfortunately happened quite a lot, and people can feel uncomfortable about it due to past experiences, as they have the right to do. ) Also, speculation fuel is a nice thing for the sake of education.
6495275 Well, specifically focusing it down to one medium makes it seem ridiculous, sure, but the general idea that the stereotype is socially acceptable is what eventually leads to that mindset.
Think about it. You watched TV as a kid, almost everyone did. Chances are, the cliche of "man crossdresses and tricks someone to think he's a woman" has appeared at least once on your TV screen during your childhood. That kind of thing will, even subconsciously, affect how you think, and it almost validates the idea that trans people are "tricking" you.
6502259 Again, I do not agree with that at all. It's a huge leap in logic that I refuse to follow. There is nothing involving sexuality here. My opinion of trans people (which is positive overall!) has no bearing on how crossdressing is played for laughs on TV. I do not accept that premise as valid, and I will not respond to further advancing of it unless there's some peer-reviewed, empirical data backing it up. Otherwise you are purely speculating.
6501958 speculation fuel for the sake of education? I honestly have no idea what you're trying to say. If you're trying to suggest that we somehow become more educated by speculating without basis, well, no, that's not accurate at all.
6502281
Isn't basis formed as you speculate? Induction, then deduction, testing theories and forming new ones? (Either way, when a person asks the question "what if", that tends to spark new life in a community. That's why fiction is alive~)
When you say "here" is that referring to the episode? It's true that it may not have been intentionally addressing gender identity and sexuality, but the parallel is going to be drawn anyway, and when that happens, isn't it best to educate people on it, seeing as such things are met with misunderstanding and hostility?
6502427 In my experience, not a lot of people are actually "educating" the uninitiated about trans issues in a positive way when issues like this episode come up. I've seen a lot more people trying to justify outrage and claim everything's offensive, and not a whole lot of genuine "here's what's up with us and what we do." So, yes, that's what should be done. But my entire point so far has been about how that's not what's actually done. You make a nice little speech, but you're actually kind of restating something I've already said - if your reaction, as a trans person, is to stomp around yelling about discrimination and offensive jokes when a cartoon character puts on a dress, you are damaging the public's impression of your sexuality far more than that dress ever could. The dress was a funny joke involving a memorable character. We saw that joke, and it made us like Macintosh more. Assuming a sexual parallel is inevitable, I genuinely believe that crossdressing jokes involving major, well-loved characters advances your cause more than it harms it. Unless the character is being ridiculed for their choice to dress up -- genuinely ridiculed, not "you look silly in that outfit," because "you look silly in that outfit" is a totally acceptable thing to say to a male wearing masculine clothes or a female wearing feminine clothes and since we're all about equality you gotta share in getting tickets from the fashion police just like everyone else -- then you have absolutely no leg to stand on.
Plus, I don't think a parallel needs to be made here at all. I totally resent that. The motive behind Macintosh dressing up has nothing to do with sexuality, so taking it to a sexual place kind of disgusts me. Imagine the episode done differently, where it's Twilight who wants to participate in a sibling-only event, but Shining Armor is sick or hurt or busy in the Crystal Empire or something. Suddenly Mac is putting on a fake unicorn horn and dying his coat white and hair blue. It's just a disguise so he can fill a role. That's it. To automatically jump to gender identity issues and get all up in arms about how offensive it is to show that stereotype is just an absurd leap in logic that really ought to be ignored. If you do something a joke does for a completely different motive, then you can't really claim the joke as derogatory towards you.
6502541
...Except that's assuming I'm in any way averse to the episode. I'm not, and neither is the author of this story from what I understand. It's more like an opportunity to expand upon an idle thought, to grasp it and open a way for education, as we've established that is an ideal worth striving for~
6502672 If done well, in a way that doesn't feel hamfisted, perhaps.
This was not done well.
6502723 You never did comment on the other story.
6502842 I'll add it to my to-do list and see if I get around to it. To be totally honest, the only reason I commented in the first place was because I still had the tab open from when we were talking about what to do with it, and I happened to notice the comments that had been posted at the time. I didn't really want this to spiral out of control into a dumb debate, but I have a hard time not responding to people who grossly miss the point of what I'm trying to say. Such is the case of sexuality debates on the internet, though, I suppose.
Anyway, sure, if I find myself with some time to sit and read stuff later, I might take a look at it and leave some thoughts.
6502723
That doesn't mean that the effort should be rendered invalid, does it?
I really like the premise of the story and I actually want to see more speculative/AU fiction with trans ponies and trans issues.
As for things you can improve on... Your dialogue is a little unnatural in its flow, and the story as a whole ends up sounding like a skit put on by high school students as a result. More practice writing dialogue and more time spent studying what other writers do will help you lots with polishing your own abilities.
I like that you chose first person, as that may be the best choice for a story like this; hearing Applebloom's thoughts directly gives a lot of unique insight into how she would react to a surprising scenario. Unfortunately, you don't follow through with your first-person reflections. The biggest thing we get from her is, "My world was crumbling around me," which is very brief and also a cliche, something you want to avoid whenever possible but especially when you're conveying extremely important emotions and reactions. If you use first person, really use it. Sell me on what your character is thinking. Show me what is in their head.
The last big thing is that you have some grammar issues here and there. There were a few single sentences that should have been broken up into two. You are also missing some commas. Study up on the grammar rules of sentence structure and punctuation use, and have a proofreader help you dissect your writing. The grammar flaws in this story were just enough to be distracting for me, which for another reader would probably reach or approach 'unreadable' territory.
Anyway, thumbs up from me. I like the idea. Dunno if it's been done before; I didn't go looking for stories after the episode came out. But I like the idea here and I think you have a lot of space to take your writing and make it great.
Okay, now to the commentary on this story. I'm kind of dumbstruck by the volume of hostility I'm seeing here seemingly because someone dared to write a story where trans issues come up in response to an episode where a male pony cross-dresses.
We have AU stories with permutations of every character in canon and then some, ranging from slightly different from their canon selves to completely out of character and ridiculous. There are tons of boring lesbian horse kissing stories (and plenty of good ones), there are tons of "Dictator Princess X" stories, and we even had a long-running fad of stories all relating to Twilight Sparkle eating a peach until the concept was done to death. I've read stories where ponies butcher each other and a story where ponies sell sentient clones of themselves as talking meat for slaughter... And none of these stories received the level of, "This is stupid and totally unfounded based on the source and you should not have written it," backlash that I'm reading here.
I don't get it. Did a bunch of trans Mac stories come out and all receive this same backlash?
It's speculative pony fanfiction. We can all write whatever we please and you are well within your right to say that whatever we write sucks or is dumb, but what I'm looking at here is repeated statements that the entire premise of this story is rotten because how dare someone get something different out of a My Little Pony episode than what you got out of it. Discussion is great, but I'm seeing less discussion here and more pig-headed stubborn hostility. Seriously, what am I missing?
I hope this doesn't put the author off of writing... whether it be more stories like this or writing more in general. I am pleased that this story exists and I hope the author keeps on authorin'.
I think 6492116 said it best. You really shot yourself in the foot trying to hop a bandwagon with the aim of having an open, honest discussion about an important issue. :/
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It just felt like it killed the honesty that I'm sure was there
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Okay... Why don't I just unpublish this story? I feel like I've done better and all this one has done is open a can of worms.