• Published 3rd Oct 2015
  • 7,759 Views, 151 Comments

Portals. Portals Everywhere! - Piece Bot



A portal gun is bought and a boy gets sent to Equestria. Expect funny reactions to portals popping up everywhere. [A Displaced fic]

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Chapter 5 - A New Friend

Author's Note:

This is a crossover with thunderclap's character Vash who is featured in his story, The Reluctant Gunman, which can be found here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/265414/the-reluctant-gunman. I recommend you check it out as it is one laugh after another which is a lot more than I can say about my story so far. If any of you want a crossover then just PM me and we'll take it from there.

Taking a step towards the elevator, Joseph’s foot brushed against something. Bending down and picking it up, it looked like a bullet from one of the turrets in the forest. As he did, he heard a message in his head: ‘I am Vash the Stampede. I am a hunter of peace. If you fight to defend peace and the lives of others then I will be more than willing to help. Just call on me and together we will create… LOVE AND PEACE!’

“Vash the Stampede? Who would that be?” Joseph wondered as he scratched his head in confusion. Thinking it wasn’t anything important, he held it in his hand and threw it out the window. When he did, a flash of green light shone through the window where the bullet impacted with the ground.

Covering his eyes at the flash, his mouth flapped open as no words would form. “Duck and cover!” Crikey panicked from the end of his gun.

A few moments later, a voice rang out across the forest, followed by gunfire. “Gyahh! Why is this happening to me!”

Joseph took a step back at the yell and found the gunfire being trained to one individual. “Oh man.” Joseph groaned and pulled up his gun to place a portal under his feet but remembered it can’t go through glass. Getting an idea, he threw a chair at the window, breaking it before placing a portal under the yeller’s feet. Turning around, he placed another one on the wall behind him, startling the six ponies that are with him.

As soon as Joseph was done placing the portal, a large form came crashing through it. It landed on the floor face-down and let out a long groan.

Pressing the cancel button, Joseph fizzled out the portals and closed the office door behind him before any more turrets showed up. Kneeling next to the person, he kneeled down and slapped his shoulder. “You alright mate?”

“I’m peachy, I just had to dodge a hail of automatic fire, no big deal,” The form replied as they peeled their face off the ground to reveal that he was a young man.

“That’s good to hear. Let me help you up.” Joseph said with a toothy grin, holding out a hand in order to help him up.

“Thanks,” the young man said as he took the offered hand and stretched to his full height.

Looking up at him, Joseph found that the young man was a full head taller than he was. “I didn’t think you would be so tall.” Joseph remarked.

“I drank a lot of milk before I got sent to Equestria,” the young man joked with a grin.

“That would explain it.” Joseph nodded and then held out his hand for a handshake. “G’Day mate. Name’s Joseph. What’s yours?” He figured introductions were in order, seeming that bullet had summoned him.

“I don’t go by my old name anymore, so just call me Vash.” Vash replied, shaking the hand.

“Vash. Can’t say I’ve heard of it. Anyway, these,” Joseph swept a hand grandly at the six ponies gathered a little way off, “these are Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and the rainbow one. Can’t remember her name.” Joseph frowned, trying to place the name.

“The name is Rainbow Dash! Get it through that thick skull of yours!” Rainbow shouted at him.

“It’s nice to meet all of you,” Vash said, keeping up his grin. “But I’ve got to ask, is this the Everfree Forest?”

“Yessiree! In fact, this is meant to be the Castle of the Two Sisters!” Pinkie said enthusiastically as the six of them had walked closer.

“It is. No idea why there are turrets around though. Apparently Aperture had been shut down about 500 years ago.” Joseph explained.

“Really,” Vash said as he looked the building over. “This place looks a lot different than the castle I helped build.”

“You helped build a castle?” Joseph asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, it wasn’t that hard. I am an engineer after all,” Vash said with a shrug.

Joseph crossed his arms. “You act as if it’s the easiest thing in the world to do.”

“No, it was just a lot easier because I had help from Starswirl, Celestia, Luna, Clover, Hammerfall, and a whole lot of workers with me.”

“That makes more sense.” Joseph grinned. He was going to say something else but he was interrupted by Twilight.

“You worked with Starswirl!?” Twilight just about squeed at this information. “You have to tell me what he’s like!” Twilight said, blushing as she realised she just about fangirled in front of everyone.

“He’s an alright guy. He can be a bit closed off, but he’s an excellent teacher and advisor,” Vash answered, ignoring the outburst.

Twilight was scribbling everything down on a spare bit of paper she found on the floor, and somehow magicked a quill out of nowhere. Ignoring Twilight for the moment, Joseph resumed asking his question.

“Earlier, you said something about being sent to Equestria. Did you mean like from … Earth?” Joseph asked hesitantly.

“Yup, one minute I was excited about a panel with Johnny Yong Bosch, the next I buy a gun from a merchant and I’m waking up in a forest getting chased by a manticore.”

Joseph held back laughter as he imagined it. “Same thing happened to me. Except, I bought a portal gun to complete my costume, it shuddered and a portal opened up unexpectedly. Being curious, I put my hand through it and next thing I know, I’m falling into a plaid bouncy ground where these six turned Discord to stone by a rainbow.”

“Huh, that certainly sounds familiar,” Vash said as he scratched his cheek. “You wouldn’t have happened to use the Elements of Harmony on him, did you?”

The ponies looked up at that and nodded. “We did but that was after he turned us grey and made us opposites of ourselves.” Twilight answered.

“The Elements of Who?” Joseph asked curiously, looking at them.

“Huh, the gray thing is different. I just remember opera singing flowers when we dealt with him.”

Joseph raised an eyebrow at this and let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. “Before I saw them turn him to stone, I saw a bushel of bunnies with elongated legs running around but that was all I experienced before my brain broke at seeing a rainbow turn a mismatched animal to stone.”

“Yeah, I got used to that feeling after about a week of being in Equestria,” I said with a chuckle.

“Sounds like you were fighting Discord back when he first caused chaos here in Equestria.” Twilight supplied.

“This is going to be a long week then.” Joseph groaned holding his head in his hand.

“Don’t worry about a thing buddy,” Vash said with a pat to Joseph’s back. “You’ll find being a Displaced isn’t all bad.”

Joseph looked up at that. “Displaced? That’s what I am? Is that what you are? Does that mean I can’t get back home, mate?”

“I don’t know if you can get back home.” Vash answered, his grin falling. “But yes, the two of us are Displaced.”

Joseph nodded his head, finding that it makes a lot of sense. “If being Displaced is like that multiverse theory Cave Johnson proposed, then that would make a lot of sense.” He reasoned.

“Yeah, there’s a ton of us running around. And we can call on each other through tokens, like these and the one you used to summon me.” Vash said as he reached into his duster and pulled out a few items.

“So a token is used to call other Displaced to your universe, and others can use your token so that you can go to theirs? That right?” Joseph asked uncertainly, studying the items in Vash’s hand.

“Yup, just be careful though, there’s more than good guys running around various Equestrias.”

“Of course there would be bad guys. Who would we fight if there weren’t any bad guys? Each other? Uh, don’t answer that.” Joseph waved the last question away and looked around the lobby.

“Nah, we don’t usually fight each other. This isn’t a Marvel crossover event after all.” Vash said with a quick chuckle.

Joseph chuckled as well. “That’s true. I don’t think the multiverse would be able to handle that kind of fight, considering how many Displaced there are. How do I get my own token? Do I use one of yours or…?”

“Nah, you just have to find something that represents you and concentrate on it while you record a message. Nothing to it.”

“That sounds simple enough.” Joseph said and quickly went around the corridor, looking for a specific thing. After a few minutes of rummaging through a desk, he found it and walked back. “Will this work?” Joseph asked, holding up a companion cube keychain.

“That’s perfect!” Vash beamed as he posed with a thumbs up.

Joseph laughed at the ridiculous pose and held the keychain in a hand. Concentrating on it, he recorded a message. “G’Day mates! Name’s Joseph, the master of portals. If you are ever in a bind, I will come around and help you not get killed along the way.” He smiled and looked at Vash. “What happens now?”

“Now you concentrate and try to throw it into the Void. Then you’ll be able to get summoned at anytime. Be careful what you do in your alone time,” Vash said with a wink.

“I think I have one better.” Joseph said. Bringing up his portal gun, he aimed it a blank part of the wall. “I hope this works.” He muttered and pressed a button, causing the bottom tube to light up white. Firing at a blank space of wall, a black void was surrounded by a white swirling vortex. “No idea if that’s the Void. Looks like it is though.” He said being careful not to go near it this time.

“Weird, I thought the Void would look more like New Jersey,” Vash joked.

Joseph cracked a big grin and, looking at the keychain, he wound his arm up and threw it towards the portal. It went through and then split up into multiple copies of itself and shot off in all directions. “Well. You don’t see that everyday.”

“Nah, but I’m sure that won’t be the last time you see it.”

Joseph managed to fizzle out the portal before Pinkie had a chance to jump into it and was glad it fizzled out as easily as the others. “I’m sure it won’t be.”

“Well, that was one way to think with portals,” Vash said with a grin.

“That definitely was. It was nice meeting you Vash. Thanks for telling me about the Displaced and whatnot.” Joseph said with a grin. “Not sure if there’s a timer or anything but I think the ponies back in your Equestria are beginning to miss you.”

“Well if you want to get rid of me all you have to say is, Vash, our contract is complete.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. But if that’s how it is then, Vash, our contract is complete.” Joseph said with a big grin.

A portal opened up behind Vash and he turned to walk in it while saying, “Until next time.”

Watching Vash disappear, he gave a wave and saw a bullet appear in his place. Picking it up, he placed it in his pocket and thought ‘Until next time.