Portals. Portals Everywhere!

by Piece Bot

Chapter 4 - Into Aperture

Joseph looked to his left and then to his right. On his right was a group of ponies running towards him. On his left were the six ponies he was meant to meet. Running in that direction, he looked back and found that half of them had taken to the air. “This has got to stop. How on Earth did those- oh right. Wings.” Joseph stopped talking and looked at the flying ponies. He looked down and found a few normal ponies running towards him but they all stopped short as they realised where he was. Seeing them all run away gave him a big grin as he slowed to a walk.

“JOSHU! BEHIND YOU!” Crikey screeched, nearly giving Joseph a deaf ear.

“I didn’t think you’re voice could go … that … high.” Joseph’s voice went softer as he beheld a walking turret. It had a sleek metal shape which made it look a bit like an egg. There was some sort of antenna on the right side and it had three legs which enabled it to walk around. There were two defining features of the turret though. One giant laser-sighting eye in the middle of it and two guns on either side of it. The white metal covering housed its many, many bullets. So that would be four defining things instead of three.

“Oh, look. A walking, talking bullet farm. How nice.” Crikey said sarcastically.

“There you are.” It said in a creepily high-pitched, robotic voice. It’s laser sight was pointed directly at Joseph’s chest. Groaning at his situation, he rolled out of the way as the turret started firing.

“Not nice! Not nice! JOSHU! What are you doing? RUN YOU WANKER!” Crikey yelled and then fizzled out in order to conserve his battery. Joseph sighed and remembered that his legs could also be used to run. Despite his mind being blown that turrets were actually real, he heard various decibels of turret voices lighting up and saying the same phrase over and over. Thinking it extremely creepy, he ended up amidst the group of the ponies he was meant to meet up with.

“G’Day. Is the building straight down that path?” Joseph asked without explanation as to what all those bullet impacts are. The ponies nodded fearfully at what was most likely unknown projectiles. “Good.” Joseph nodded and aiming in the general direction down the path, fired a blue portal. Pointing at his feet, he shot an orange portal and found that it worked. “Ponies. In. Now.” Joseph ordered them and ushered them into the portal one at a time.

“I will explain everything once I’m through.” Joseph reassured them as Applejack was the last one to jump through. Hearing a turret powering up its gatling gun, he looked at the laser sight and could swear that a tint of green was shown in the eye for quick second before going back to red. Planning to think on it later, he jumped through and fizzled the portal shut. “Quick. Inside.” Following the group in, he saw more than a few red lasers guarding the entrance to the building.

Once they were all inside, Joseph sighed in relief and looked at the looks on the ponies’ faces. “Will ya explain to us why we had to jump through one of them magic holes?” Applejack asked with a furious look. Lowering his gun, he raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay, fine. I’ll explain. Those robots out there are turrets. They provide sentry support as well as be puzzle hazards. Not to mention they are complete nuisances. They shoot on sight if they manage to lock on to their target. I doubt the town would be under attack as the mob that was chasing ran away at the sight of only one.” Joseph said, waiting for the inevitable questions.

A yellow hoof was shakily put up. “What about the animals in the Everfree Forest? W-will they be safe?” Fluttershy asked concernedly. Joseph shook his head.

“Unless they can hide themselves, I don’t think they will be.” Joseph said truthfully, noting the saddened look in her eyes. “Anyone else?” He looked around the group but they seemed busy comforting Fluttershy. His face softened and he sighed. “Look. Fluttershy, right? I think, and this is just a theory, but I think that the turrets are programmed to target only humans and ponies. In fact, I’m not so sure about the ponies but I know for a fact that they’re targeting me. Does that help in making you feel better a little bit?” Joseph asked. She nodded, a small smile playing on her muzzle.

He nodded back and smiled as well. Taking his eyes off of the group, he took a look around the building and realised he sort of recognised the place. The ruined building was more stone than concrete and looking at the entrance, he found that there were sliding doors in place of … well, either a stone archway or two grand double doors that must have been at least double the height of Princess Celestia. Where the sliding doors were, he realised that he didn’t even have to duck down so he was thankful for that. It was probably more for the height of Celestia than anything else.

Moving his inspection from the door, he found that the walls stayed stone the further back it goes. The end of the corridor ended in what looked like an elevator although he couldn’t be sure. It was too dark to see anything.

“Twilight, can you give a light? I want to see what’s at the end of the corridor.” Joseph asked. She complied and lit up her horn although it looked like a bunch of neon purple smoke to him. Shaking his head, he found that it was just a field of light around her horn. Rubbing his temple, he turned to the end of the corridor and began to walk.

“This place is positively ghastly. It’s a wonder how they got any work done around here.” The white pony complained, turning her nose up at the state of the corridor.

“What I don’t get is how we didn’t notice this when we faced Nightmare Moon!” Rainbow said, throwing her arms up in the air.

“It was probably a magical illusion cast by her.” Twilight answered softly, looking around in wonder. She stepped on some sort of sphere and nearly tripped, pushing the sphere towards Joseph. She stumbled and looked as Joseph picked up the sphere and then toss it to the side.

“I completely forgot to mention this, but my name is Joseph. At least I think I didn’t. Maybe breathing in that purple smoke did something to my brain or not.” Joseph told Twilight’s friends as he searched the receptionists’ desk for something.

Applejack walked up to Twilight while watching Joseph. “Ya think he’s right in the head? Ah don’t think he’s all there.” She wondered out loud.

Pinkie, meanwhile, zipped about the corridor, leafing through papers or just being a slight nuisance. She zipped over to Joseph, causing him to jump and nearly hit his head on the ceiling.

“Why are you so hyper? Did you have two kilos of sugar or something?” Joseph asked incredulously as he put a few interesting pieces of paper inside his pocket.

“No idea what a kilo is but I definitely had a lot!” Pinkie jittered and zipped off through one of the doors that branched off from the main corridor.

---

Back in Ponyville, a metallic pony walked into the outskirts of the Everfree. This pony had a metal body, and two green green eyes. It had see-through black and green wings as well as a horn that rivalled Celestia’s. The cutie mark was that of a dull-gold Aperture Science logo. Breathing with a mechanical sound, the mane of the pony moved in jumps, sort of like gears slowly starting to turn before they began their work. Moving her muzzle, it tried to form words but it ended up making a chilling buzzing sound. It moved it’s jaw up and down a few times before trying again. It did and this time, a small word formed.

“Finally.” It coughed, the voice sounding feminine. Bringing a hoof up to try and stem the cough, she looked to her side as a few different coloured robots joined her side. These ones were more pony-like then she was, but then again, she was only the first version. A couple of differences. These coloured robots had simulated fur and were able to pretend to eat. Her gaze turned from the town in it’s entirety to a single cottage set out a way from the others. One not quite as close to the Everfree as the other one with all the animals was. She nodded her head and watched those few ponies move towards the cottage, breaking in and terrorising the family.

---

“What are you doing in there, sheila?” Joseph asked as he looked at Pinkie rummaging through the contents of a filing cabinet.

“Looking for a chocolate cake recipe that ends up having a strawberry with whipped cream on top.” Pinkie said simply before slamming the cabinet shut and then racing out the room. Joseph jogged to catch up to her. She was now in the second and final room that branched off from the corridor before the elevator.

“You won’t find it. I guarantee it. Mainly because it’s been split up between multiple monitors throughout the facility.” Joseph said smugly, gesturing to the cracked screen. “I thought you would have had the recipe anyway.” Joseph added as an afterthought.

“Yeah, duh. But this is a SPECIAL cake!” Pinkie emphasised the word special as she finished rummaging through the desk of some former worker. He shook his head and went to step outside but his foot landed on a piece of crumpled up paper. Picking it up, he unfurled it and found that it was actually a cake recipe. The one that Pinkie was looking for. But it was that in title only. Chuckling to himself as he gave the piece of paper to Pinkie, he ran out the door and waited for the inevitable scream.

“THE CAKE IS A LIE!?” Pinkie screamed at the top of her lungs, causing everybody within the castle’s vicinity to cover up their ears. Twilight rushed to Pinkie’s side as she read the sheet over and over. “The cake can’t be a lie. The cake can’t be a lie.” Pinkie mumbled. Joseph was laughing so much from her reaction that he was bent over, trying to keep from passing out.

Twilight glared at the human and then turned her attention towards the sheet. Thinking up of a word switching spell, she charged her horn and pointed it towards the page, the letters rearranging almost instantly. What appeared after the spell was a completely different piece of paper. It listed an actual recipe.

Pinkie took another look at the page to see if it was still a lie and gave a loud ‘yippee!’ at the cake not being a complete lie. Satisfied that that was over with, Twilight turned her attention to Joseph.

“JOSHU! Back at the entrance over here! Wait wait! UNIPONY HAS ME IN HER CLUTCHES! AAAAAHH!” Crikey said in alarm as Twilight picked the gun up in her magic and moved it from the entrance to herself.

Having calmed down from the overused meme on the paper, he looked towards the gun as Crikey shouted out in alarm; noticing with fascinated curiosity that she used smoke to pick it up. Having decided a few minutes ago that this was just a normal thing, he grabbed the gun before Twilight fiddled around with it.

“Crikey! Calm down Crikey. It was only smo- magic. Now. I think we’re ready to see the inside of Aperture.”

Comments

[Piece Bot]

6494732
Joseph thinks this is all a dream so he's not really taking it that seriously. That make any sense?

[The Phantom Joker]

Looks good thus far. However, a quick suggestion for a character:

images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/595887402010311507/977B736E5ABE67F21E784F66E2AB56F890512E1E/
WHEATLEY!!!!