Portals. Portals Everywhere!

by Piece Bot

Chapter 27 - Faulty Wiring Part 3: Crossed Wires

“Please tell us that’s you, Joseph.” Twilight said desperately, hoping that it actually was him instead of Jack playing a sick joke. She would be amazed if he somehow got passed the cure for the Poison Joke but the colouring of his hair, as well as his eyes, appeared to tell a different story.

“No, sorry. Hate to burst your bubble but my name is Jim, not Joseph. Although I can hear him up here, along with Ja- … sorry. I probably shouldn’t mention him, huh?” Jim said as he pointedly ignored his sopping body and floated in the tub, looking at the gathered ponies apologetically.

“You seem kinder than him but that’s what he appeared to be too.” Twilight said, trying her best not to utter Jack’s name.

“Who? Prick? Loser? Idiotic being? Take your pick, he’s definitely at least one of those, if not all three, Sheila.” Jim said with a shrug and took notice of his current state. “Would it be too much to ask for a towel?”

After a few minutes of talking amongst themselves in order to gauge if Jim was a threat or not, Aloe reluctantly got a towel for him after her and her sister were caught up on what happened moments earlier. Jim thanked the Spa Sister and dried himself off as best he could once he got out of the tub. He winced though when he saw Rainbow’s jaw.

“You need to get that looked at.” Jim said bluntly, pointing to where Rainbow was cradling her jaw. Rainbow glared and shot him a look that seemed to say ‘Ya think!?’.

“I didn’t think I would be apologising so much but … I’m sorry for what he did to your jaw as well as slicing that group of ponies up. He’s just a bit on the crazy side.” Jim said slowly, folding up the towel and placing it on the side of the tub.

“We know that. What we, or at least I, want to know is what you are like. It just doesn’t make sense for Joseph to have two alternate personalities thanks to the Poison Joke.” Twilight said, backing away slightly from the human when she saw his eyes glow brightly for a second.

“I’ll gladly tell once someone helps Rainbow to the hospital. She looks like she’s about to pass out from the pain.” Jim pointed out, watching the cyan pony in concern.

Rainbow attempted to glare at him but the pain from her jaw became too much. She scrunched up her face in pain and tried not to let tears fall from her eyes. Twilight noticed this and wrapped her friend up in lavender magic, quickly taking her to the hospital. It will be quite a story to tell for when they asked how her jaw got like that.

Jim looked at the tub for a bit, thinking about the cure that was meant to bring Joseph back but they were instead stuck with Jim.

“You’ll need to make the cure again.” Jim stated, looking at the Spa Twins before tossing them the towel. The blue one with a pink mane caught it around her middle, giving Jim a glare.

“I probably deserve the glare, even though I don’t think Jack hurt you. I’m … just going to go.” Jim said with a nervous grin and went to walk out the spa, only to be stopped by a white Pegasus with tiny wings, a blonde, buzzcut mane and was simply bulging with muscles. Jim backed up from the steroid user and hit his back against the tub he had jumped out from.

“What? You want me to stay here?” Jim asked the three of them.

“YEEAH!” The white Pegasus shouted at him with a threateningly raised hoof.

“Are those wings for show, or do they serve the purpose of fanning you for when you sweat?” Jim asked, stepping to the side and running for the door when the tiny-winged Pegasus charged him. He ran out the door and into a nearby alley, cringing at the sound of breaking wood and metal. “They should’ve gotten insurance for crazy steroid users,” he muttered.

He slapped a hand to his forehead when he realised he left his portal gun back in the spa. ‘I’ll have to make do without for now. If I were Joseph, I would most likely ask Twilight what happened while I blacked out. I’m not him, I’m me. Me is me. Great! I’m talking to me, myself and I. What was that?’ Jim’s ramblings were cut short when he heard soft hoofsteps clop down the alleyway.

He spun around at the sound and saw a small white Unicorn with a two-toned pink and purple mane.

“Um, hi?” Jim asked cautiously, raising his hands up in case the little Unicorn threw a spell at him.

“Hello,” the white Unicorn answered back and sat down, swishing her tail back and forth. Jim wondered if the Unicorn was sent here because of the Spa Twins. Or possibly Twilight. “You look familiar.”

Jim froze at that and wondered if his ramblings were actually true. “I look familiar?”

“Yeah. You don’t have green hair even though you’re face looks the same.”

“Is that so?” Jim asked, eyes glowing for a brief second as he thought of different ideas.

“Yuh huh. The one with green hair sliced up a couple of my friends with shards of glass. You really do look like him.” the Unicorn told him, tilting her head to the side as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Miss Ice Cream, do I even sound like whoever sliced up your friends?” Jim asked politely, making a point to not make his voice raspy intentionally.

“My name isn’t Ice Cream. It’s Sweetie Belle and you don’t sound like him, but you sure look like him.” Sweetie Belle said, smiling up at him and standing up.

“You’re not going to fire a spell at me, Ice Cream?” Jim asked her, smirking at her now obvious not-name.

“Nooo. I don’t think so. And my name isn't Ice Cream.” Sweetie Belle declared, tears brimming in her eyes.

“Sweetie Belle, listen. I am not the one who sliced up your friends. You may think I look like him, but I’m not. Want me to show you how I’m not?” Jim asked in an overly-sweet voice, trying to get her to not cry and announce where he was hiding. His voice and question only made her confused and lose her saddened look as she cocked her head to the side.

“How are you not him then?” Sweetie Belle asked in a small voice, about ready to turn tail and run in fright.

“Easy. I can’t do what he can.” Jim shrugged, placed his hands in the pockets of his overly large blue hoody and walked down the alley, passed the white Unicorn filly and out into the main street, intending to go back to the Golden Oaks Library for a change of clothes. He passed by the park and quickly put up his hood in case any of the ponies there recognised him. With him being the only human in town though, the hood was kind of redundant.

---

Twilight walked into the spa, wanting to ask Jim a few questions. Her mouth fell open when she saw the carnage of Snowflake lying down among broken pieces of wood and water. “What happened here?” Twilight asked, wrenching her gaze from Snowflake to the Spa Twins.

“The hoo-min dodged him, then ran out the door.” Aloe told her, giving her an apologetic gaze before resuming clean up. “Also, we will need more ingredients. I have a feeling this one is going to cause havoc as well.” Lotus piped up and helped her sister clean up the mess.

“He’s gone?” Twilight asked, an eye twitching at the thought of him possibly causing more panic than before. She couldn’t get Rainbow’s help in getting the ingredients this time around. She walked out the spa with a furious look in her eye and with Joseph’s discarded portal gun in her magic, soon began to run towards Sugarcube Corner. Once there, she raced in and over to the kitchen, ignoring the protests of multiple ponies about her cutting in line.

“Pinkie! I need your help! It’s about-” Twilight was cut off when she realised that Ember was listening in too. Fearing for her safety and well-being, Twilight quieted down and took a calming breath even though her mane was frazzled and out of place.

“Ember, why don’t you help Mr and Mrs. Cake with the inventory?” Pinkie asked the light pink dragoness, knowing exactly why Twilight stopped talking when she was noticed.

“Okay. You’d better tell me why I had to leave the room later, though.” Ember said, waggling a claw at them before asking the Cakes what needed to be done other than kitchen work.

“What do you need my help with, Twi-Twi?” Pinkie asked, smiling at her friend while mixing up a batch of batter.

“Getting ingredients for the Poison Joke cure. We need to dunk Jim into it in hopes of getting Joseph back but the one tub that was big enough was crushed underneath Snowflake’s weight.” Twilight explained once Ember was out of earshot.

“Yuh huh. The Poison Joke ingredients? I got a few of them stored in my room but we’ll need Zecora for the others. Don’t you worry, Twilight. We’ll get Joseph back, and then you can pressure him all you want about him killing Spike!” Pinkie said happily, her voice going a bit higher than normal when saying the last sentence.

“Thanks. Why do you have Poison Joke ingredients in your room?” Twilight asked, smiling in relief at Pinkie’s help.

“In case I tried some Poison Joke silly!” Pinkie answered, bobbing her head to some unimaginable tune that only she could hear.

“Why- forget about it. Can you get the rest of the Poison Joke ingredients in the Everfree while I try to find something big enough to dunk Jim in?” Twilight ordered, not really caring about it for the moment. She made a mental note to ask Pinkie about it later and autonomously stepped over a light pink tail in the way of the kitchen doorway. She headed outside and began her search for Ponyville’s biggest tub.

“You heard that, didn’t you, Ember?” Pinkie asked softly, knowing full well that Ember was just outside the doorway, not even needing her Pinkie Sense to tell her what’s what. She heard a sniffle and then hurrying clawsteps that soon faded out with the accompaniment of the front doorbell clinging as it was opened and closed. No doubt she was going to see if what they said were true. “I need to get started on finding the rest of the ingredients. No use in tracking Ember down now.” Pinkie told herself and got a determined look as she told the Cakes that her friends needed help with a few things.

---

Jim hid behind a few bushes as he watched Ember run into the treehouse, feeling a bit guilty about Jack’s actions.

“Why did you do this Jack? You’re going to have the whole town on the hunt for Joseph and he won’t even know why.” Jim told himself, tapping his head to see if Jack was listening.

“Is that so? Well aren’t we going to have some fun burning the place down?” Jack responded with a cackle, causing Jim to groan and walk out the bushes.

“No, we won’t have fun.” Jim replied grimly, holding a hand to his head as he walked inside the library and up to their room. He searched around it and changed clothes into his orange jumpsuit and white singlet. With the top half cinched around his waist, Jim looked at the token hourglass and wondered what he should do with it.

“I know what we can do with it! Call Draigo up and corrupt him!” Jack said gleefully and Jim swore he could hear Jack’s hands rubbing together as well.

“No. We’ll leave it here and go.” Jim said with a finality and took Vash’s bullet out of the pocket of his discarded hoody. “We’ll leave this too. If you manage to get control again, I don’t want you to corrupt Vash or Draigo, even though they don’t seem like the corruptible types,” he added and placed the bullet on top of the token.

“What? Oh come now, Jimmy boy. Surely we can just-” Jim cut him off with a harsh shush and grumbled to himself, making sure to keep quiet and not let Ember know he had ever been there. His face became one of sorrow when he looked into the room where Spike died and saw Ember struggling not to cry. He went to reach out for her but then remembered that it wasn’t his place to comfort her. Jim turned away from the door, hardened his gaze and stepped out of the library.

“We still need that portal gun. Even if Joseph manages to resurface, we still need it to get around lickety-split.” Jack said dryly, making Jim wince at the truth of his words.

“Fine. We’ll go for the portal gun.” Jim said in reluctant agreement and headed off for the spa, remembering he had left it there in a hurry.

---

“Why do you have need of this cure? I thought you had already gotten your fill.” Zecora asked Pinkie and raised an eyebrow as she stirred the massive cauldron in the middle of her hut.

“According to Twilight, it didn’t work and he needs an extra dosage. Do you have anymore of the ingredients?” Pinkie asked in return and immediately went to looking at the various potions that were set up on the shelves.

“I do.” Zecora answered, stopping her cauldron-stirring with a sigh as she gathered up the last of the ingredients. “You are very lucky I picked these yesterday. I did not think anypony would need them again, today.”

“Ooh! Thank you! Now we just need to find a big body of water. WAIT! How does that cauldron sound?” Pinkie blabbered, zipping over to the brewing cauldron and giving it a few taps against the side.

“That will do. You are not using this cauldron to brew the cure.” Zecora stated, gently pushing the hyper-active mare away from the cauldron and towards her door.

“I get the hint. I’ll just help Twilight find some other body of water then.” Pinkie commented, getting up and trotting out the door, the various ingredients for the cure in her mane as she helped Twilight search for some water. ‘Hmm. Maybe a tub? No, we tried that. The Mirror Pool? No, we’d just wind up with a clone. How about a … lake?’ Pinkie stopped her thinking and looked in surprise at the body of water in front of her. It looked rather small but it appeared to be deep enough. She looked at the surroundings and found the lake to be covered on all sides by dense foliage and thick tree trunks. She looked behind her and couldn’t find a path but figured that it was nothing to worry about. Sort of remembering the direction she was walking in to leave the Everfree, Pinkie ran and tried to see if she could find Twilight about the lake.

Comments

[Danger A Dragon]

Poor Ember. She's going to kill Joseph when she gets a hold of him, most likely.

Draigo does seem like that. Doesn't he?

[Winter Rosario]

I haz invaded! Fear me and my feminim horemones!