Death Mansion

by Masterweaver

Entrance

It was incredibly rare that ponies would look at Twilight Sparkle and confuse her for Pinkie Pie. One was purple, the other was pink. One had a consistently groomed mane, the other let hers poof and pwiffle with wild aplomb. One had a voice crafted by years of careful dictation and scholarly vocabulary, the other sang and twirled in a tongue rarely found in creatures larger than a rat. And of course there was the whole wings and horn thing the former had going, while the latter merely relied on intrinsically warping reality to suit whims which, while not exactly her own, did tend to pass through her mind in frequent bursts.

At this moment, though, the two of them had exactly identical smiles.

"We're almost there!" Twilight leaned out of the carriage, peering out one of the windows. "Oh my gosh, this is so exciting!"

"You bet it is! I've always wanted to visit a haunted house!"

Twilight's smile became distinctly less Pinkie-like. "Pinkie, I've told you this before: Death Mansion is not haunted."

From one of the other seats, Applejack let out a small chuckle. "Forget it, sugarcube. She's not goin' ta get it out of her head. 'Sides, you've gotta admit that a place called Death Mansion kinda conjures up certain expectations."

"It's just the name of the founding family," Twilight replied. "I've explained this! Quiet Death was a unicorn noble that was surprisingly progressive for the era he lived in--"

"--and he funded all sorts o' medical research and personally attended any funeral on his land, yes, Ah know. Mah point still stands."

"Yeah, well, if there's some sort of creepy crazy crud going on in Death Mansion, you guys have nothing to worry about." Rainbow Dash pounded a hoof. "I'll beat 'em up so hard that they'll run crying back to their graves!"

"But what if they're ghosts Dashie?" Pinkie leaned forward. "You can't beat up ghosts!"

Dash smirked. "Wanna bet?"

"There are no ghosts," Twilight repeated firmly. "Ghosts do not exist. And if they did, the whole point of what the Death family does is research, so they're probably in controlled laboratory containment."

Applejack quirked an eyebrow. "How'd ya go about containing a ghost?"

"That's what's so exciting! IF ghosts exist--which I still doubt, by the way--I'll be able to find out how to contain them here! Every form of dark magic is researched here, including necromancy!" She giggled. "All this unique knowledge, all the filed away experimental reports, it's going to be great!"

Four of the other five ponies in the carriage stared at her. The fifth one looked around, realized that everypony was staring at Twilight, and joined in with a shrug.

"...Darling, ah... how do I put this politely..." Rarity cleared her throat. "You do sound somewhat like the, shall we say, comic book villains right now who seek out science for science's sake and accidentally unleash hordes of unfashionable mechanical monstrosities."

"Oh please. I'm not that bad! I know how to exercise restraint--" Twilight blinked. "Wait. You read comic books?"

"....weeeeeeell, after that whole incident with the Power Ponies comic, I may have started delving into the culture..." Rarity absently patted her mane. "There are some remarkably deep and vivid stories buried in there, once you get past the spectacle that the mass production and short format force. And the costumes can be--but that is entirely besides the point." She leaned forward, giving her friend a very serious look. "While your taste for knowledge is legendary, there are some ponies who don't know you as well as we do and assume that it defines your every action. And expressing any interest in the dark arts, even purely academically, might lead to certain conclusions regarding your relative sanity which would be rather poor for your public image as a princess."

"Ugh, you sound just like Spike." The purple mare snorted. "He absolutely refused to come when I told him where I was going! Rambled on about zombies and vampires, I mean really."

"Do..." From the back, Fluttershy finally spoke up. "Do you think there might be zombies...?"

Twilight sighed. "Dark magic isn't just necromancy. Necromancy is only the most well known form of dark magic--look. Maybe there are zombies in highly monitored and carefully constructed laboratories. Maybe there's a vampire somewhere that is regularly fed blood which is ethically sourced, and watched by trained guards. The fact is, if those creatures exist--and with all the adventures we've been on, I'm temporarily suspending my disbelief--they won't be a problem, because the Death family has it all handled. So, please, relax, just enjoy the ride, and when we get there--"

The carriage rattled to a stop suddenly. Twilight frowned, looking out the window. "Huh. We've arrived."

"Really?" Dash gasped loudly. "I never would have guessed!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "I was just making sure we hadn't stopped because of a roadblock or something. There's no need to be--"

Without any warning the carriage door was wrenched open by a large, hunched figure. Lightning backlit a canine face, half taken up by a fanged grin with a pair of slitted green eyes flashing at the startled ponies.

"I, GORE!"

Fluttershy let out a tiny shriek.

"....will be escorting you po-nays to master's mansion."

With that, the figure stepped to the side, gesturing with a large paw that ended in thick, clawed fingers. The ponies all took in the stout, clublike tail, the short legs, and the matted black fur under the tuxedo jacket.

Rarity was the first to speak. "Ah... begging your pardon, sir, but would I be correct in assuming you are, in point of fact, a diamond dog?"

The creature let out a wheezing laugh. "I, GORE! am related to diamond dogs, as being same creature. I, GORE! do not think of I, GORE! as diamond dog. Master raised me, so I, GORE! am strange looking po-nay."

"I see." With a small steadying breath, Rarity stepped out of the carriage. "I do apologize, sir, it's just that my friends and I have had... less than amicable encounters with diamond dogs. We did not mean to pass judgment. Ah, but where are my manners. I am Rarity, the bearer of the Element of Generosity, and this is of course Princess Twilight Sparkle--"

"I, GORE! am happy to meet young po-nay princess." The creature held out a clawed paw, gripping Twilight's hoof firmly as she exited the carriage. "So many new po-nay princesses these days. Pink princess, blue princess, purple princess... I, GORE! would not be SHOCKED! to find rainbow of princesses before I, GORE! move to the shadows." His chuckle was a grating sawblade between two closing walls. "But I, GORE! am being rude. Who other po-nays?"

Twilight grinned. "Oh, these are my friends, the other bearers of Harmony. This is Applejack, this is Rainbow Dash, this is Fluttershy, and this is--"

A pink blur hopped launched out of the carriage, gripping the paw of the wide-eyed diamond dog and shaking it like a maraca. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! It's superduperluper nice to meet you mister Gore!" She released her grip, twisting the paw up and pulling a gift wrapped box from her mane to stick into it. "I just love making new friends and I really hope that my stay here will be super fun!"

The diamond dog blinked, lifting the present to his eyes and shooting Twilight a look. "Ah... purple po-nay princess already good with dark magic, yes?"

Twilight coughed. "Not... really, actually. Pinkie's been like this ever since I met her."

Gore's eyes widened. Very cautiously, he lifted the lid of the package--sniffing at the scent that came from it. After a moment, he snapped it shut. "...master should know about you, pink po-nay..."

After a moment, he shook his head and turned to the armored pony hitched to the carriage. "Chanfron! Put cart in stables. I, GORE! will be there to pick up po-nay luggage after I, GORE! take guests to master."

With a creaking rattle, the armored pony began to slowly drag the ornate black vehicle down a particular dirt trail.

The diamond dog nodded, turning back to the ponies. "Come. Master is waiting to meet you." With a final wide grin--and a cautious glance at Pinkie--he began to lope along a cobblestone path.

As the six friends followed after the diamond dog, they took the chance to look forward toward their destination. It was obvious to all of them that the building in the fog had once been a castle, with the ramparts and outer wall still visible, but at some point a curved sloping roof had been attached to the central building and the towers now sported conical coverings of their own. Here and there, strange devices were attached to the slats, some spinning at various speeds and a few generating sparks. An entire portion of the front wall had collapsed long ago, revealing what might have been a garden once but now resembled a twisting nest of slumbering snakes. A few windows shone with light, most of it the normal color of a lit room and some of it an eerie orange shade. The gates, they noticed as they approached, were wide open; given the strange runes on the pillars to either side, and the cloaked statues gazing facelessly down at them from above, they dared not to imagine what would happen if the gates had been shut.

"Ah, Gore!" A bright voice shouted, accompanied by the rapid clippity clop of a stallion approaching. "I see you've found our guests, not that I ever doubted you of course--Ah, and what a lovely cadre they are!" The form coming from the mists soon resolved itself into a pebbly white unicorn stallion, absently brushing something off of his dapper coat. "I do apologize for not being outside the gates, but there was a minor situation in the gardens. All taken care of now, I assure you. Ah, but where are my manners!"

The stallion slicked back his shadow-black mane, a twinkle in his shocking blue eyes as he bowed. "I am Slaughter McMurderkill the fifth, esquire, and it is my great honor to welcome you to Death Mansion!"

No less than three bolts of lightning struck in rapid succession, thunder rolling through the fog around them.

"Terribly sorry about that," the unicorn continued without a pause, "Great grandpappy did do some experimentation with weather magic and, well, ever since then no pegasus has been able to clear this cloudbank. We have to import fog regularly, lift it up to the clouds and mix it in, just to keep the lightning from getting too overwhelming. Still, there are benefits, pure rain every week, natural source of electrical power--oh, pardon me, I should ask the names of you lovely ladies!"

The purple alicorn cleared her throat. "Ah, yes. I am Twilight Sparkle, princess of friendship, and--"

"Ah, Sparkle! That's right, you wrote the treatise on sympathetic cross-soul based magical harmonics!" The stallion shook her hoof with a chuckle. "Quite useful that one was. And a princess as well? Good to see a mare making her own way in the world!"

Twilight blushed just slightly. "Why--why thank you, mister... McMurderkill..."

"Oh, please, call me Slaughter. No need to be as formal here, after all, you're really the only living politician around for miles! And that means these other ponies must be your test subjects--" He cut off Twilight's protests with a wave and a chuckle. "Sorry, friends. A private joke, I assure you! Ah, but we've been standing around, why don't I take you all inside to meet the family?"

Slaughter turned around, whistling an odd tune as he led the way to the castle doors.

The mares all shared a look. Applejack was the first to speak. "Slaughter McMurderkill? The fifth?"

"It's... just a name," Twilight assured her. "Just like Death Mansion is just a name."

"I, GORE! Think master's name is very normal," agreed Gore.

"Could we possibly continue this debate inside?" Rarity asked fervently. "This fog might very well frizz my mane if we don't get moving..."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah. I can't believe you're scared of this, Applejack!"

"Ah'm not scared! Just... uh... concerned, that's all."

Gore cleared his throat. "Are you po-nays just going to stand out here arguing?"

"Ah! Right." Twilight gave an awkward chuckle. "Rude of us! Uh... please, lead the way."

Comments

[OminousBrony]

...Well then.

[Masterweaver]

I can assure you, this is the only Gore in the story.

[cogwheelbrain]

Let's see...

Popcorn?
Check.

Soda?
Check.

Lights turned out?
Check.

Poster of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark on the wall?
Check.

OK, Mr. Author-pony! Next Chapter, GO!

[Misplaced Mage]

6513626
::rimshot::

[Wellwater]

"....weeeeeeell, after that whole incident with the Power Ponies comic, I may have started delving into the culture..." Rarity absently patted her mane. "There are some remarkably deep and vivid stories buried in there, once you get past the spectacle that the mass production and short format force. And the costumes can be--but that is entirely besides the point."

#fakegeekfilly much, Rarity?

[BradtheBrony]

Okay, I officially love the diamond dog Gore. Though everytime he shouts his name I cannot help but think of this conversation (even if he is behaving more like classic Igor *E-gore* instead of Igor *Eye-gore*):
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=nxxSIX3fmmo]

[Dipti]

i like Gore. i cant wait to see more of this story.

[Disavowed ASH]

6514117 Fake Geek? I think she just entered into the fray. Let her enjoy herself and catch-up to the rest of us. Never liked the term Fake Geek Girl, and I'm a guy.