• Member Since 21st May, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 18th, 2019

Blitz Stratus


T

After the changling attack Luna feels more alone then ever after hearing how the changling queen was defeated. She starts to wish for the days before her banishment when she was still young and when her heart didn't feel so cold. Most of all she miss how her life use to be and the love she lost with it. One night she lays alone in her locked bed room thinking of her first true love when she interupted.



This is my first try at writing a romance fiction about luna because there isn't enough luna. Its mostly a idea I through together when I couldn't sleep. I'll probably continue with it and finish it but I don't know when though.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 53 )

:pinkiesad2::raritycry:The story is really good. You need to differentiate between people so readers can tell who is talking properly. :fluttercry::applecry:

Your right about that but its like 2:00am here and I can't think of a way right know:ajsleepy:

Quick observation, that's not how you spell "lonely":derpytongue2:

Quotation marks, please. The story is incredibly difficult to read without them. Otherwise, pretty good, not the best, not the worst. Keep at it, and remember quotations around dialog.

Thanks for the tip I need al i can get.:pinkiehappy:

Very cute story! It was a little confusing to tell who was talking though.

Yeah im fixing it now I was justed worried it would get revoked:ajsleepy:

OH MY GOD:pinkiegasp:! Hine further aprooves:pinkiehappy:

This is gud
*noms Pizza*
Cant wait for moreeee

Okay, I'm sorry, but this really needs a run-through by an editor or something. There's commas and semicolons missing everywhere and your dialogue formatting needs quite a bit of work. :twilightoops:
On a brighter note, this is an interesting concept, and I would like to see it continued.

Yeah Iknow I normal don't use this style :ajsleepy:

This SCREAMS to be formatted properly, you really should take a closer look before hitting the publish button. It really is distracting. :fluttershyouch:

Yeah i know but that will have to wait till tomarrow my heads all fuzzy:ajsleepy::unsuresweetie:

I know it's meant to be ambiguous if he is still alive I mean. But I like to think that he is. :twilightsmile: oh wait, not finished is it? still hope YES!:pinkiehappy:

I like it! Keep up the good work!:pinkiehappy:

:pinkiehappy:YEAH its finally up, chapter three show it some love.
:heart::derpytongue2::rainbowlaugh:

um...Celestia is over reacting a little don't you think? I mean Luna won't REALLY kill her sister. Right?:unsuresweetie: Other than the rather morbid descriptions of Auroran, GREAT CHAPTER!:pinkiehappy: can't what for more:twilightsmile:

Thanks for the second part of your response.:heart: as for the first guilt can do crazy things to your mind when you've held it in for a long time.:trixieshiftright:, plus i like to leave readers guessing:rainbowkiss:

It's good, but just a little difficult to follow what is going on, and who all is talking.

720372
jerk:trixieshiftleft: LOL just kidding:pinkiehappy: chapter one could have been a short story in and of itself but um....MORE!:flutterrage:

that big talk that was building up between Auraron and Celestia I gotta say was a little anticlimactic :unsuresweetie:

I just feel it could have gone a little better for the amount of build up that lead to it :eeyup:

:pinkiecrazy:Thats cause its not the end of the story thats why its anticlimactic:heart::pinkiecrazy:

That was nice of Auroran. But if he's blind, how can he see Luna to call her beautiful? Can he see using magic? I love this story!:heart: Is the voice another form of Nightmare Moon?:rainbowhuh: Keep me guessing!

I was going to have him wearing a apron but then the image flickerd in my head.:rainbowderp:
It was too funny:rainbowlaugh:

Chapter 5 is yup.:pinkiehappy: Cider time:rainbowwild: anyway show it some love:heart:

it's okay, needs a bit of a grammatical polish and maybe break up some of the speaking parts but otherwise it's fine.

or maybe the magic was really premonition magic and she was viewing the future?

Both are likly, I like that idea :pinkiecrazy:(dark thoughts play through skull):pinkiecrazy:

I LOVED IT!!!!!! Luna and Auroran remind me of me and my girl.

Okay so I just read all of the chapters and LOVED IT!! :heart::pinkiehappy:

I knew it was something evil ins his head! like Nightmare Moon I mean. And.....do you mind if I pre-read for you and help catch all of your mistakes.

That was very interesting I was waiting for something like this to happen. Very good chapter! :pinkiesmile:

Yeah chapter 7 is up:twilightsmile:.
Note to make the 1812 part 20% cooler open a second tab and listen to 1812 Overture - Tchaikovsky ( Mercury Living Presence ):heart: enjoy

Luna: "Okay I really don't like where this is going."
Me: "Too bad!!!!! Write on Blitz! Write on!"

You REALLY need help with spelling. I don't mean to be insulting:fluttercry: the story is GREAT:pinkiehappy: the spelling just leaves something to be desired. Are you using word and pasting or are you just typing it here? I could help you.

I'm not passing anything on my word. Cause im typing it here and then pasting it to word and spell checking it there. I think my word needs updated.:ajbemused:

Thanks some of the credit goes to my editor for finding my mistakes:scootangel:

Its up, chapter 8 is up, oh joy:twilightsmile: Show it some love :rainbowkiss:

very nice. I can't wait to find out what happens next

:heart:Chapter 9 up show it some love leave a comment or like please.:twilightsmile:

nice chapter as always!!! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: loved it!!!!!!!:heart:

did he just do Necromancy lawl :D

is this by any chance include Celestia X Luna shipping?

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