No Heroes: Beyond the Everfree

by PaulAsaran

25 - Overdue

It was not the quiet sound of muffled talking that clued Pinkie in to her being awake. Nor was it the warmth of the room. It was not the scents of herbs and fruits, or an awareness of her own thoughts.

No, Pinkie knew she was awake because she was in pain. It settled across her entire body like some sort of cruel blanket, never shifting, never changing. Accompanying it was incredible hunger and thirst. She wondered if she’d fallen into some sort of pain ocean, where she would be sore and aching forever. Maybe this was Tartarus?

Even to her, Tartarus didn’t sound like a lot of fun. But then… it would make perfect sense. It’s not as if she could really redeem herself, right? Her family wasn’t about to say hello to her, or hug her, or tell her how much they missed her. And why should they?

Still, Pinkie really hoped she wasn’t in Tartarus.

Did she dare to open her eyes? Maybe she could just… walk out. A dumb idea, but worth trying, right?

Except that she couldn’t move. Her legs were stiff as boards, and any real attempt to shift them rewarded her with far more pain than her already overburdened brain wanted to tolerate. So she let herself go limp and focused instead on the terrifying ordeal of trying to force her eyes open. One of them refused, but the other…

A crack of light blinded her. She whimpered at the harshness of it.

“Pinkie?”

Gradually, her eye adjusted to the light. Unable to turn her head, she shifted her eye right and found Fluttershy’s face close by. The sight of her friend whole and unharmed eased the pain. A little. Enough to let her offer a hoarse, barely audible “Hey.”

Fluttershy’s eyes lit up, her smile rivaling the sun for brightness. “Oh, thank Celestia,” she whispered. “You had us all so worried. How are you feeling?”

Pinkie whined a little, her eye shifting to take in what it could of her body. From what little she could see, she’d been wrapped entirely in bandages. “Like a mummy.” Her friend giggled. Pinkie gave her a wan smile and decided not to mention how being a mummy didn’t feel very good at all.

Then, she remembered exactly why she looked and felt the way she did. She closed her eyes tightly and tried not to think about it. Thinking about it wouldn’t help. It only made her scared. She shouldn’t be scared, not when Fluttershy could see.

“Pinkie? What’s wrong?”

Her face had scrunched up. Pinkie searched for a proper answer, and blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “Hungry. Thirsty.”

“I’m not surprised, you’ve been out for four days.” Fluttershy disappeared from view. “Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

Pinkie wanted to call for her, to ask her not to leave, but she couldn’t gather the energy. The very idea left her feeling small. And since she still couldn’t move her head, all she could do was stare at the ceiling. Shouldn’t they have propped her head up or something? The ceiling was boring, worse than watching paint dry.

Worse, it did nothing to help her not think about… things. Harrowing laughter echoed in the back of her skull, filling her with a trepidation. No, she shouldn’t think about it. Think about something else. Like… where was she? And why hadn’t Rex killed her?

That line of questioning brought a horrible new concept: what if Rex really was keeping her alive just to torture her more later? The idea hit her so hard she almost lost her head to the ravages of panic. Her legs attempted to move without her command, perhaps with the intention of running away, but this only produced a lancing pain. That helped calm her down though, so she didn’t lecture them. If only she could wipe away the tears that were running down her cheeks.

When she opened her eye again, Fluttershy was standing over her. The pegasus hurried to smile, but wasn’t fast enough to keep Pinkie from seeing her worried look. “Here, drink.”

A small stone bowl appeared. Fluttershy tipped it oh so carefully, letting the cool water flow gently down Pinkie’s sore, eager throat. It might only be water, but it tasted heavenly. The bowl was pulled away long before Pinkie was ready. She didn’t protest, mostly because something smelled yummy, and her stomach was bordering on rudeness with its demands.

The next bowl held some kind of steaming, dark green soup. It tasted strongly of broccoli, or something like it. Pinkie longed to suck it down, but Fluttershy wouldn’t pour it in fast enough. With her body so firmly bound, she settled for small sips.

Only when the bowl was empty and she got another drink of water did Pinkie finally ask, “Where’s Rex?”

This time, Fluttershy’s smile was sincere. “In Tartarus, where he belongs.”

Pinkie sucked in a sharp breath, her eye growing wide. “Y-you mean… he’s gone? The plan worked?” At her nod, Pinkie’s tears came back in full force. “Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank Celestia and Luna and Cadance and Discord and… and…” Her throat constricted and she just focused for a few seconds on the sheer relief trying to overwhelm her already overburdened senses.

Fluttershy merely watched, looking for all the world like she wanted to give her a hug. Oh, if only these stupid wounds…

The crying ceased. Pinkie tried her best to focus on Fluttershy, who was more Blurryshy at the moment than anything. “W-what happened to Fine?”

The smile weakened a fraction as Fluttershy looked over her shoulder. “He’s sleeping in the corner. He hasn’t left this room since—” She chewed her lip and wouldn’t look Pinkie in the eye.

Pinkie didn’t need to ask why. The thought left an extra stab of pain in her chest.

“He might not wake up for a while,” Fluttershy continued after a moment’s silence. “He’s been having trouble sleeping.”

One more thing to consider. Pinkie hoped he’d want to talk to her as soon as he woke up. They had so much to say to one another. But for now, she needed to distract herself from… everything. Her mental highway was undergoing a severe case of rush hour with all the painful wagons coming in. They threatened to overwhelm the entire system.

She latched onto the first thing that came to mind. Glancing at Fluttershy, she asked, “What’s the prognosis, doc?” She even managed a trembling smile.

Fluttershy gave her an uncertain look, but understanding dawned upon her when Pinkie’s eyes darted towards her mummified body and back. Fluttershy twittered and fidgeted, once again unable to look her in the eyes.

Oh, no. What if it was really as bad as it looked? Her mental highway might crack under the pressure!

Fluttershy noticed her expression and shook her head frantically. “No, Pinkie, it’s not that bad. You’re going to be okay. You’re just… going to be in bed for a long while.”

“Oh.” That wasn’t so bad. It sounded like outright torture, really, but compared to dying?

…

Then again, Pinkie could just imagine having nothing to do but stare at the ceiling for days on end. “B-but it’ll only be for a little while, right? A week or two.” She turned her eye on Fluttershy and felt her heart sink at the pegasus’s distraught expression. “Th-three?”

Fluttershy hid behind her mane. “M-more like… a few months.”

The groan that escaped Pinkie couldn’t even come close to showing her despair.

Though it seemed the words hurt her as much as they did Pinkie, Fluttershy continued. “Rex shattered your legs and broke a lot of other bones too. You just can’t move, Pinkie. And… it wasn’t just your bones he broke.”

Pinkie stared at her blankly for a few seconds, trying to think on what else could have been taken from her. Abruptly, she recalled the fact that she could only open one eye.

Fluttershy, ever observant, caught her rising panic and hurried to add, “Not your eye. It’s just swollen.”

Well, that was a relief. “Then what else?”

Fluttershy flinched. In response, she reached over and hovered her hoof over Pinkie’s barrel. It took a moment for her meaning to register, and when it did the soreness in her midsection flared up horribly. She winced and tried not to think about Rex’s claw in her gut. Oh, Goddess, that had felt horrible, like a blender had been turned on inside her stomach. She whimpered and willed herself not to think about it.

“H-how bad?”

Closing her eyes, Fluttershy took a deep breath. “Princess Luna focused most of her magic there. It should heal properly, she said. But in the meantime… you can’t, well… eat anything solid. For a few months. Maybe half a year.”

Pinkie longed for the ability to cock her head. It was really the best way to show her confusion, and right now confusion needed showing. Alas, her words would have to make do. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“I don’t think you understand,” Fluttershy said, giving Pinkie a sad look. “No solids. If you do, your...” She blanched— “Your intestines could r-rupture.” —then turned green. She took slow breaths until her yellow came back. “No cakes. No cupcakes. No vegetables or hay or… or… anything. Just soup.”

Pinkie’s eye gradually widened with every revelation. Her lip trembled as the ramifications sank in. “M-maybe just a piece of candy now and then?” Fluttershy shook her head, and Pinkie wilted. This just wasn’t fair. Why did fate have to be such a meanypants?

“Umm, hot chocolate would probably be alright. And maybe ice cream.”

Pinkie swallowed to moisten her throat. “I… I guess I can live with that.” As if she had a choice. It was better than nothing, right?

Off that highway, Pinkie. It’s still too crowded, and getting worse by the minute.

“What about the others? Nye, Rainbow, Sera and Fang and Polar?”

“Everypony’s okay.” At last, Fluttershy was able to smile properly once more. “The thestrals are all celebrating again, although they’re a bit more subdued this time because they used up too much food in the last big party. Princess Luna’s planning to tour all the tribes to properly announce her return, and Sera’s putting together a group of thestrals to visit Equestria. Fang’s gonna be the leader.”

Pinkie took this in quietly. It was easy enough to guess how Luna got here. Everything they hoped to achieve had been. She should be thrilled. It did ease the congestion in her mind a bit, making her feel a bit more comfy in her own skull.

“Oh, and, um, Discord said he’ll teleport you to home once you’re ready. He’s feels really, really guilty that we went through so much to help him.”

That, at least, made Pinkie grin. A visit from Discord was certain to rouse her spirits. He knew her so well. Or, well enough. One more thing to make her feel a little better.

She looked to Fluttershy once more. “Rainbow?”

Fluttershy flinched with a bemused smile. “Recovering in Canterlot. Apparently, drinking Zecora’s endurance potion over and over again for long periods of time without taking a break can lead to some problems. Even the potion couldn’t mask the fact that she flew nonstop from here to Canterlot as fast as she could.”

Pinkie smiled in turn, imagining Rainbow being forced to stay in bed for extended periods of time. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one.

“And Nye?”

“Eager to go home.” Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “Or rather, to see Rainbow. But as much as he wants to, he refuses to leave until he knows you and Fine will be alright. I should probably tell him you’re awake.”

Pinkie licked her lips and coughed, but it did nothing for the itch developing in her throat. “Yeah, but um… could I get some more water first?”

“Sure.” Fluttershy brought the bowl back. As Pinkie sipped and the cool liquid did battle with whatever bug was behind her vocal cords, she noticed a change in Fluttershy. The pegasus’s eyes lowered to the floor, her face taking on a dejected frown.

Bracing for another bit of mental congestion, Pinkie asked, “What’s wrong?”

Fluttershy’s eyes drifted to her, then she gasped and jerked away, nearly spilling the water. “N-nothing’s wrong. I better go, Nye’s going to be—”

“Fluttershy.”

She paused, half turned to the door. Her lip trembled, but she didn’t try to leave. “Y-yes, Pinkie?”

“I’m in a lot of pain, my stomach’s all weird and won’t let me have my proper diet, there’s some bug in my throat, I’m going to be stuck staring at the ceiling for months, Fine’s full of a horrible amount of guilt that is all my fault, and to top it all off, I just got an itch under the bandages of my left back leg.” Pinkie narrowed her eye at her friend, trying to look as serious as she could under the circumstances. “I don’t think one more thing’s gonna break my back.”

Fluttershy still hesitated, but Pinkie suddenly smiled. “But if it does, it’s just one more owie, right? I’m a big girl.”

Fluttershy didn’t smile. She didn’t look at Pinkie either. Her shoulders shook, her eyes watered, and Pinkie began to worry that something was really wrong.

“Don’t make light of it,” Fluttershy whispered. “Y-you… you almost died, Pinkie.”

Pinkie had the decency to look away in shame. “I know. I just meant…”

“You don’t know.” Fluttershy almost nuzzled her, but stopped herself at the last minute. Tears were pouring down her cheeks by now. “You really don’t. The healers and Luna had you for hours, and all I c-could do was watch. I thought one of my b-best friends was going to die. And now you’re like this, in pain and… and… and it’s all my fault!”

Pinkie blinked. “Wait, what? Where did you get—”

“You said it yourself!” The distraught pony sat and rubbed her eyes fiercely, but could do nothing to stop the flow from her eyes. “I’m a t-terrible friend. If I had been stronger, if I’d faced Fine when he… when he confessed, he wouldn’t have run away! And Rex never w-would have done this t-to you. And that makes m-me g… g… gui…”

Curse her, now Pinkie felt like crying. “Please stop. Please.”

“G-g-g… guilty! I’m so sorry, Pinkie, I never should have run away from Fine. You were right, you were right all along. I promise, I’ll make it—”

“Fluttershy.”

“—up to you! Somehow, in some way. I’ll come over every day and help you. I’ll make amends with Fine and explain things to him the right way, and then—”

“Fluttershy!”

“—I’ll make sure your bandages are clean and keep you healthy and make you laugh and whatever I have to do to make the recovery period as wonderful and nice and—”

“Cumquat hamsters over a sesame seed bun!”

“—that way maybe you’ll forgive… me… but if you…” Fluttershy’s guilt-ridden tirade petered out, her expression slowly shifting to one of utter confusion. “What?”

Pinkie smiled at the ceiling. “I always liked that word. ‘Cumquat.’ It feels funny on the tongue, don’t you think?” After a moment with no response, she glanced at her befuddled friend. “We can’t keep playing the blame game, Shy. It’s not very fun. You made a mistake. So did I, when I told you it was your fault. So please, stop. It’s not helping either of us.”

Fluttershy stared at her blankly for a comment. Her eyes were still wet, but at least she wasn’t crying outright anymore. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I got carried away.” She rested her canons on the bed and, at last, gave that cute little smile she was so good at. “I’ll still come to help you out, though. I won’t let you go through this alone.”

“Thanks, Shy-Shy.” Pinkie smiled back. She felt a little lighter, and the pain didn’t seem so bad now. When she stared up at the ceiling, however, her smile cracked. She was going to get very tired of that view very quickly.

---

Fine awoke with a low moan and an aching back. Even a lifetime on the road couldn’t help him when sleeping on a hard stone floor. He was starting to regret not taking Discord up on his offer to provide a comfy couch, but that would have ruined the point. He sat up and yawned, then noticed the fruits set nearby. For a moment, he considered ignoring it… but then relented and ate. He would be no good to anypony starving.

How many days had he gone in this little room? He couldn’t be sure, but he did know he was worrying his friends. He’d have to make it up to them. Later. Not now. He couldn’t leave now. Not until he knew.

He glanced around the room, but as always, found nothing to help him discern the time. Morning, evening? No matter. He was awake. Setting his empty bowl aside, he trudged for the bed and settled at Pinkie’s side. He eyed her face. The swelling over her eye had gone down. Still asleep though. He sighed and stared at the covers at her barrel. Somewhere under there was a line of stitches.

He closed his eyes, shuddering at the memory of what he’d done. Luna, in an offhoof comment, had let it slip that Pinkie surviving the wound at all was a miracle. He hadn’t been able to feel his hoof at the time, but he could swear he could sense her insides coiled around the claws. A day or two ago, the thought made him almost vomit. Even now, he felt ill over the idea.

He opened his eyes and stared at his hoof. The claws were gone now, not even a scar to suggest they’d ever been. Discord had been thorough. He tried to imagine them there once more. Rex’s magic had been old. Too old. It simply couldn’t stand up to recent developments; the ever-prepared Luna would have ripped him apart with ease. But Discord’s abilities didn’t care about ‘old’ or ‘new’ magic. Thinking back on Sera’s story of Rex’s past, he couldn’t help but wonder if Discord hadn’t just been prolonging the fight, like a cat toying with its food.

All that power, and he couldn't help Pinkie. How had Discord put it? 'Too delicate.' Healing a patch of skin was one thing. Healing internal organs? Discord said he was more likely to turn them into petunias than put them back together again in fully functional order. Discord's magic dealt with the bold and the loud, not the intricate and precise.

Gradually, Fine pressed his hoof against his forehead. He’d failed. Failed so horribly. Fluttershy had screwed him all up with her… rejection. Not that he blamed her, of course. He’d just been so unprepared in every conceivable way. His mental defenses had possessed the consistency of a wet paper bag. And because of that…

He lowered his hoof and glanced at Pinkie’s face. Her heavy-lidded blue eyes stared back. He sighed, looked away…

Then did a double take. “Pinkie?”

She smiled. Oh, Goddess, how he missed that smile. “Morning, handsome.”

A giddy laugh broke Fine free of his momentary stupor. He wanted to fling himself at her, but somehow managed to show restraint and settled for a, “You’re awake.”

“I’ve been awake for a few hours now, silly.” Her eyes drifted to the ceiling for a moment. “It’s about time you woke up. It’s been more boring than the butterfly migration in here.”

He chuckled, then shot an uncertain look at the doorway. “Uh, hasn’t anypony visited you?”

“Oh, everypony.” Her smile returned. “And I mean everypony. Fang even baked me some sweet bread. She’s gonna love Sugarcube Corner.” Her eyes drifted to her bound legs and she pouted. “Too bad I won’t be able to give her a tour of Ponyville.”

Fine’s momentary high crashed. A sound between a whimper and a choke escaped him as he sagged and stared at the floor. “I’m sorry, Pinkie.”

“Oh. Umm, but, it’s not your—”

“Don’t you try to say it too!”

He didn’t look up, so he couldn’t catch her reaction. He didn’t want to. If she had an expression of fear…

Fine sank down until his forehead was pressed against the bed, eyes blinded by the covers. “I did it again. I hurt you again. I never wanted to hurt you again.” He was crying. He’d done that a lot these past few days. “I never forgave myself for the first time, and now…”

She didn’t answer. That was probably a good thing. He sniffed and rubbed his muzzle, but didn’t raise his head. “You should be afraid of me by now. I won’t blame you if you never want to see me again. When we get home, I’m gonna hide myself in that damn house, and I’ll never… I’ll never hurt an innocent pony again.”

Still nothing. He waited for her to speak, but nothing came. As much as his heart ached, it could only be a good thing. It was… better. He’d just slink off now and—

“I’m hardly innocent.”

His ears perked. Gradually, as if his head were made of lead, he lifted it up to look at her. She stared right back, her face dry but her eyes glassy. “W-what do you mean?”

“It goes deeper than you hurting me,” she whispered, her gaze returning to the ceiling. “There’s more to it than Rex taking you over, or me standing up to him, or Rainbow going to Equestria to help Discord.”

He rubbed his muzzle once more and sniffed. “Is that Pinkie Sense talking?”

“Fluttershy was wrong about you.”

He thought about this for a moment, then flinched back. “No. She was right. I’m a… a monster. I—”

“You’re no more a monster than I am Chancellor Puddinghead.” Her smile came back, albeit weakly. “Except on Hearth’s Warming Eve, then I can be the chancellor all you want.” Her eyes drifted to him, and her next words came with firm seriousness. “If you try to hide away, I will find you, and I will make jokes and bake cakes and play music until you smile and come back out. You know you can’t hide from me, buster.”

As much as he wanted to scoff at the suggestion, Fine couldn’t help but agree; she was probably the one pony who could do that. But… He frowned at her. “Why?”

“Why do you have to question it?” she countered with no less solemnity. “I represent Joy. I won’t let you live a life without it.”

He sighed and looked away. “I’m not exactly into Harmony, Pinkie.”

“I didn’t say ‘Harmony,’ I said ‘Joy.’ And I want you to experience as much of it as possible.”

“But I don’t deserve it! Not after I—” He bit his tongue, eyes shifting to her body. Swallowing to ease the sudden clenching of his throat, he said, “I broke you. I’ve hurt you twice. Why would you want anything to do with me?”

Her response came quick and sharp. “Because you’re broken too.”

“I’m—” He looked into her eyes and saw all the same firmness. But underlying that was a sadness he recognized. He’d seen that look before in her. He’d never understood it, yet it seemed so obvious now. “You… You’re right, I am.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head. “I’m sorry I’ve been worrying you.”

She smiled at him once more. “Broken ponies need to stick together, Fine. For mutual sanity.”

He chuckled, but couldn’t meet her eyes. “I don’t know if I can… make up for this. I’m scared that… that…”

“That you’ll go back?”

He flinched and said nothing.

After a quiet moment, Pinkie spoke. “Fine, do you remember your promise? In the caverns?”

It didn’t take much time to understand what she was referring to. “Of course I do. ‘Anything that you go through, I will help.’ ”

Her smile broadened. “Anything you are going through, I will help.”

He gazed at her for a while, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, he cocked his head. “Is that…”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She glanced at her immobile legs. “Sorry. Can’t go through the motions. I’ll do it later.”

Fine scowled and glanced away. “I’d tell you there’s no need for that, but there’s no point. Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise, least of all Pinkie Pie.”

“There is a need for it, Fine. You think I don’t know what you’re going through? Fine, why did you have to hurt me the first time?”

He rolled his eyes. “Because you were brainwashed by Silma Ril, of course.”

“Because I was going to kill ponies.”

“It’s different for me,” he countered with a growl. “You only threatened to do it. I actually did it.”

Her brow furrowed as she glared right back. “I’m still the most qualified pony to help you. It just… has to wait.”

“Help me?” His frustration faded at this news. “How?”

She opened her mouth to respond, but paused. Her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of pink – a truly impressive feat – and she suddenly couldn’t look him in the eye. “Umm… Well, before I get to that, I should… Uh… I should…”

Pinkie, nervous? This was something new. Fine’s curiosity got the better of him; he set his cannons to the bed and leaned closer, ears turned forward. “Yeah?”

She bit her lip, eyes set on the wall. “W-well… Do you know w-why I… why I wanted to come here in the first place?”

He shrugged. “To help Fluttershy, of course.”

“That was just the excuse,” she said, still unable to look him in the eye. “I mean, I wanted to help Fluttershy, but… but that was just a bonus.”

Once again, Fine was stuck waiting for her to continue. Once again, she failed to do so, instead keeping her gaze set on the wall and blushing so much he could almost feel the heat. At last, he sighed. “Pinkie, I honestly have no idea where you’re going with this.”

She couldn’t move, but he was almost certain her entire body deflated somehow. “Of course you don’t. Why would you?”

A glance around the room failed to enlighten him. “Umm…”

Pinkie groaned and closed her eyes tight. If her cheeks were any brighter, the sun would find itself in a rivalry. “F-Fine… why did you come out here?”

“Well, because Fluttershy got the crazy idea that she would come out here. I wasn’t about to let her do it alone. I wanted to protect her, to show her what I had so much trouble… saying.” His eyes widened as his mouth kept going. “She was… important to me and I… I liked… her.”

For several long seconds, he just stared at the wall, trying to process the potential implications of his words. As if on autopilot, his eyes drifted down to Pinkie’s face. She seemed to be trying to shift away from him, her eyes still closed tightly. That blush just wouldn’t go away. Why was his heart suddenly pounding?

“Pinkie? Is this what I think it is?”

Pinkie whimpered, but otherwise said nothing. Despite her immobile state, she shivered like a leaf.

Fine could relate. His stomach felt as if it had dropped away, and his legs barely held him up. Both reactions were complete mysteries to him. “I… I don’t know what to say. I mean…” He fidgeted and averted his eyes. “Mares don’t like me. At least, they shouldn’t.”

“And why shouldn’t they?” She hissed through her teeth. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s not your choice whether mares like you or not.”

He took a step back, startled by the fierceness of that statement. “I… suppose so. But Pinkie, why would you—”

“I don’t know, okay?” She sniffed, her chest heaving as she fought back her emotions. “I don’t know why you make me feel all flittery fluttery, or why you walking in the room makes me happier than Twilight at a Book Fair, or every time you look at Fluttershy I feel something nasty worming its way through my head. I don’t know. Does it matter? I don’t think it matters. I just know that night in Canterlot was horrible and scary and I was miserable and then you came in and… and…”

Her tears were flowing freely now. Fine felt he should say something, but his mind had turned to mush. How had he missed this? Was it a good thing? A bad thing? He couldn’t just say ‘no.’ Did he even want to say ‘no?’ Was there anything wrong with saying yes?

Well, of course there was something wrong with saying yes! He was a… He’d…

But then, Pinkie was…

Her voice broke him from the chaos in his mind, and he held on to every word.

“I know it sounds crazy,” she muttered, “but you hurting me in those caves? That was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was then I knew that if ever anything happened, you’d be there.”

At last she looked at him. Her eyes held fear, but something else too. “I’m scared, Fine. I’m scared of going back. I don’t want to be that horrible filly again. But I know that if I do, you’ll save me, even if it means hurting me. That means more to me than cakes and parties and laughter. I wanted to be the same thing for you.”

Fine shook his head, his tongue finally obeying his commands. “But if you’d lost… Even if you survived, I… What if I died, Pinkie? Why would you fight me if you knew that support might be gone?”

At last, her smile returned, shaky and uncertain. “Because you deserve the same thing. I wanted to be your… your safety. I wanted to give back. Because you’re so important to me.”

“I…” Fine’s mouth had dried up. He didn’t understand. Her words, her feelings, his feelings. What was he supposed to do? “I…”

Though her eyes flashed with pain, Pinkie managed to raise her head towards him. Her smile trembled all the more. “Forget Fluttershy. Be with me, Fine. We’ll be like peanut butter and jelly.”

Fine’s brain was suffering a meltdown. In a scramble for time, he blurted out, “Peanut butter and jelly?”

Her smile solidified and there came that familiar twinkle in her eye. “Nopony can separate peanut butter and jelly once they’ve come together.”

His lips twitched into a smile, but only for a second or two. He had an incredible urge to hide somewhere, to bury his head behind a pile of books and never come back out. What was he supposed to say, what? Did he like the idea? The moths in his stomach had to stop flying around at some point. If he could just think, but that was like trying to push a needle through a concrete wall.

Oh, Goddess, she was watching him! He needed to answer. But, with what? He should just—

And then, an image burst through the layers of fog: Fluttershy, running away.

He closed his eyes and focused. Gradually, the storm in his head settled, and though his heart wouldn’t stop pounding, at least he had his breathing steadied. Once sure of himself, he opened his eyes. Pinkie had looked away, head back on the pillow and eyes watering. The image sent a fresh ache through his chest.

“Pinkie, I can’t answer you now.” He rested his chin on his cannons and sighed. “It’s so unexpected, and I feel like the stupidest pony in history for that. At least now I know how Fluttershy felt.”

Her eyes flicked back to him, hopeful but hesitant at the same time.

He wanted to smile for her. He couldn’t. “I won’t say ‘no,’ but I won’t say ‘yes’ either. I need… time. To sort things out. But I promise, as soon as I’ve got my head on straight, I’ll give you an answer.”

She seemed to consider his offer. Then, she looked to him once more. “There’s something else you can promise me.”

He raised his head. “Yes?”

A deep breath, a slow exhale. “Promise that, whatever decision you make, you make it for the right reasons. Don’t say ‘yes’ because you feel guilty or want me to be a…” Again, she averted her gaze. “…a substitute for Fluttershy.”

For some reason he couldn’t understand, that suggestion hurt. And yet Fine felt he could understand her meaning. It was a good request, and one she had every right to make. For once, Fine felt like he understood what was happening perfectly, and he smiled. “Hey.”

She turned her eyes back to him. Sad, frightened eyes.

He ran through the motions, covering his eye with a hoof. Then a second time. At her confused look, he said, “I can go through it for the both of us.”

She smiled.

He never realized how nice her smile was.

---

Fine and the sun had always had a disagreement. The sun made things hot, was unpleasant to the eyes, and generally made sneaking around harder. The sun had a few arguments in its favor, like making food grow, which Celestia had always been more than happy to point out to him during his more sour moods. Today, however, the sun seemed determined to be particularly cruel. Fine technically couldn’t blame it; he had been hiding indoors for days in a row after all.

He chose to blame it anyway. He raised his hoof against its brilliant glare and scowled at the sky with a growl. “Laying it on a bit thick today, aren’t you, Princess?”

“She’s punishing you for being a hermit.”

Fine flinched at the sound of that voice. He turned to Fluttershy, who was sitting in the shade of the building and staring at the ground as if the dirt held some interesting portents. Without looking up, she said, “It’s good to finally see you walking around.”

He shuffled in place, eyes scanning the area. There weren’t many thestrals around, nor any sign of his pony friends. Chewing his lip, he finally replied, “It was Pinkie’s idea.”

“I suspected as much.” Fluttershy raised her head, but still wouldn’t look at him. Sadness marred her features, but didn’t stop her from being beautiful. “She’s been really worried about you. We all have.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that.” He made circles in the ground with the tip of his hoof. What was wrong with his brain today?

A moment of awkward silence hung between them. At last, Fluttershy squared her shoulders and turned to him. “Walk and talk?”

Not knowing anything better to say, he replied, “Do let’s.”

They walked at a steady pace along the stone road. Fine let Fluttershy take a slight lead, assuming she was leading him somewhere. He tried to keep a respectable distance, even as his mind tried to sum up exactly what ‘respectable distance’ meant. Would being any closer make her anxious? But if he was too far away it would be noticeable. He struggled with his composure and questioned why he was thinking about all of this now. It had never seemed such a big deal before…

Something else served to distract from his frustrating thoughts, that being the thestrals. It took a second for him to notice, but once he took his eyes off Fluttershy’s hooves he realized that there was a lot of space around them. Those thestrals still on the street made an effort to not look whenever he glanced their way. Well, most; one or two watched him with no attempt to hide their anger.

After four or five of those, Fine stopped looking. The ground was far more interesting.

“So,” Fluttershy said a little loudly, “did you and Pinkie have a good talk?”

Fine glanced at her. It took a moment for the question to register. “She asked me to be her special somepony.”

She stumbled and had to spread her wings to keep from falling. Her head whipped around to him as soon as she’d stabilized. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He returned his gaze to the cobblestones. “It surprised the hay out of me too.”

“I suspected for a while,” Fluttershy admitted sheepishly, “but I always thought that Pinkie would be really straightforward about that kind of thing – maybe too forward – so I thought it was in my mind.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Could you tell somepony you liked them if you thought they were already taken?”

“Oh.” Fluttershy glanced away, her cheeks turning a pleasant rose color. “I-I see. That… complicates things.”

“Yeah.”

The silence between them resumed, heavy and nerve-wracking. Fine glanced up to find they were headed for the jungle. He was mildly surprised there was any left after that fight with Pinkie. His curiosity getting the better of him, he raised his head to look towards the temple. A view came between two squat buildings, revealing the entire mountainside blackened and dead, but only one side, to his mild relief.

“Discord brought stormclouds to help put out the fires,” Fluttershy said upon following his gaze. “Polar says they lost a lot of foraging grounds on that side, but it wasn’t the most productive area for that anyway.”

He mumbled an acknowledgement and resumed walking, head hanging low once more. How much damage had he done?

“Things will be okay,” she told him. “The thestrals know it was Rex’s doing.”

“But he was doing it in my body,” Fine countered with little enthusiasm. “Every time they look at me, they’ll just see him. I killed so many, I can’t blame them.”

“Then you’ll just have to make it up to them.”

Fine raised an eyebrow at that. “I’m not even sure I’ll ever be coming back.” She opened her mouth, but he spoke over her. “No, I mean, I came here as part of a job. I’d have to have time to come back. Or be on another mission. So yeah, it’s iffy.”

She appeared prepared to argue, but after a moment she turned her face forward and let the subject drop. “So, what did you tell Pinkie?”

Now it was Fine who stumbled. “I… Uh… Haven’t told her anything. Yet.”

She turned on him, eyes wide. “Fine! You didn’t—” Just as quickly, she backed away, face turned from him and eyes closed tight. “I m-mean, when I… and you…”

They were at the edge of the jungle by now, well away from any thestrals. Fine sat heavily and shook his head. “No. I didn’t run. I didn’t want her to… feel like I did.”

“Oh. Th-that’s good.” Fluttershy’s hooves shifted over and over again, her ears flat against her head and her face half hidden by her mane.

Fine grimaced at her manner, more due to the ache in his chest than anything else. “Listen, it’s—”

“I’m sorry!”

Fine backed a step at the unusually loud outburst. Fluttershy had moved forward, body low and wings extended, eyes scrunched tightly closed. For a few seconds, they just stood in those positions. Fine’s mind was running in overdrive trying to determine what was more important, the awkwardness of the moment, his need to respond, or how oddly cute she was in that uncharacteristic pose.

Then, just as quickly, Fluttershy sat up and hid behind her mane, rubbing her leg. “U-um, I mean, I’m sorry. For running away.”

That snapped him out of his stupor. Funny, that seemed to be happening to him a lot lately.

“I guess it’s okay,” he replied. “I mean, yeah, it crushed me, but not thirty minutes ago I almost did the same thing.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Fluttershy seemed to shrink away from him. “She deserves better than what I did to you.”

For a moment, Fine considered saying the ‘nice’ thing. It was on the tip of his tongue. Then he thought about everything that had happened, and not just to him. The memories hardened his expression. “You’re right about that.”

The pegasus flinched, but said nothing.

Her manner made him bristle. “Y’know, I had long hoped I could help you be a little stronger. You’ve definitely become a more confident, willful mare, although I can’t say for sure if that’s because of me.

“But I guess, in a way, I had hoped you’d be able to help me back.” He looked away, into the jungle. “Maybe that was dumb of me. Maybe I can’t be… what you’d like me to be.” He barely kept from cringing at that thought. “And maybe it’s better that way.”

“That doesn’t change anything,” Fluttershy replied. She was facing him properly now, her expression drawn. “Don’t try to change the subject. I should have rejected you the right way. If I had, none of… this would have happened.”

“Maybe. Who’s to say I wouldn’t have run away regardless?” He shuffled and kept his eyes on the jungle. “I did put you on a pedestal. Honestly, you might still be up there. I just put so much stock in the idea of… us.”

“I realize that now, and I’m sorry.” She kicked at the ground, her wings ruffling. “I really am. Had I realized it sooner, I might have handled things the right way. It just caught me so off guard and I… I panicked.”

He nodded. It was all he could do. He felt so… numb. After everything that had happened, maybe he was just too weary of it all to be crushed. Or perhaps he’d just gotten used to the idea.

She took a tentative step closer. “Are you… okay?”

“I don’t know.” He felt at his chest. His heart was beating fast, but… not too fast. His shoulders felt stiff, and he flexed them a little. It didn’t help much. “I just want it to be over. I don’t know how any of this stuff is supposed to work.” At last, he turned to her, his eyes imploring. “What happens now? Does the hurting stop? Do I ever get over this? Over you?”

She blushed, but didn’t look away. “I wouldn’t call myself an expert. I mean, stallions ask me out all the time, but I’ve never been on… on… your side of things. And honestly?” Her eyes lowered. “I’ve never been asked by a friend before.”

He blinked. “You still think I’m your friend?”

Fluttershy leaned back, a pained look coming across her face. “I hope you are. We are still friends, aren’t we?”

“B-but, what you said. Back there.” He gestured towards the temple. “About my… violent tendencies. I thought you hated me.”

“Hate you?” She shook her head frantically. “Of course not! I mean, I don’t like that you… kill… ponies.” She shuddered. “And that is a major part of why I couldn’t possibly…” Another blush. Another shift of the eyes. “B-but you’re still my friend. I like you, Fine, I just don’t… like like you.”

Fine cocked his head, rubbing the side of it as he processed this. “I… guess I get it. I suppose I jumped to conclusions?”

She shifted from hoof to hoof, eyes flicking to him a few times. Then, she approached. Slowly, timidly, as if he might run away. Fine didn’t move, only watched curiously. But she got closer. And closer. And then he started to get nervous.

She paused not an inch from his face, eyes finally settling on his. She gave an anxious smile. “Um, don’t take this the wrong way, alright?”

He cocked his head. “Er, okay?”

She wrapped him in a tight hug. Fine tensed, eyes going wide and his cheeks on fire. His instinct to push her away conflicted with a desire to squeeze the pretty mare, leaving him with his hooves shifting in small spasms. Eventually the two came to a compromise and he slowly, but very gently, set his legs around her shoulders.

“I know you have your doubts,” she whispered. “I know you’re scared and confused and don’t know what to do. But despite everything, you are a good pony, Verity. Please don’t forget that.”

His throat constricted. He had no idea why, or why his vision was blurred. But he tightened his hold a little and rested his chin on her shoulder. “I’ll try. I want to be, I really do.”

“I know.” She pulled back, and though he had to will himself to do it, he released his hold. She smiled at him, that pretty smile that could melt his heart. “That’s one of the things that makes you a good pony.”

He sighed and tapped his hooves together while he studied them intently. “Good. I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good as you’d like, though.”

“Maybe not, but that’s okay.” She set a hoof to his shoulder. “We can’t all bear the Element of Kindness, after all.”

Somehow, Fine found it in himself to laugh a little at that. “Stop braggin’.”

She flicked her mane and raised her muzzle with a playful smile. “As Rainbow would say: It’s not bragging if it’s true.”

Fine laughed again, a more full one this time. “I wonder how that pony’s doing right about now.”

---

Rainbow lay in a hospital bed, staring at the wall. Sunlight streamed through her window. She didn’t face it. That view spoke of sun and clouds and beautiful, beautiful sky. Instead she stared at the wall: plain, white, and decorated with a lone painting. It was of a mare having a picnic with three little foals. Two were paying some kind of game of tag, whereas the third was nestled in the picnic basket and looking up at her mother with hooves just over the edge. Sickeningly cute.

And painfully boring.

The walls, boring.

The ceiling. Boring.

The food?

Doubly boring.

The books?

Sweet merciful Celestia, they were boring.

“Ugh, when am I gonna get out of here?”

---

“Oh, you know her,” Fluttershy said, waving a dismissive hoof. “Probably bored to death in some hospital room.”

Fine chuckled. “Yeah, that’d be about her luck.”

They shared a smile. Fluttershy leaned forward. “So… still friends?”

A pang ran through him, but Fine shooed it to the back of his mind and nodded. “Yeah, sure. Friends.”

Curiously, Fine did feel better. Not at the top of his game, but certainly an improvement over how he’d been five minutes ago. Friendship was weird like that, he supposed.

As they started to make their way back to town, Fluttershy asked, “So, do you know how you’re going to, um, let Pinkie down?”

Fine gave her a quizzical look. “I’m not sure that I am.”

Her eyes lit up, rivaling the smile she suddenly possessed. “You mean you’re thinking about saying ‘yes?’ ”

“That’s just it, I have no idea.” He rubbed his mane back with a groan. “She laid out an interesting case. Who would have thought of Pinkie as being so… reasonable? But she caught me completely off guard, and I can’t just make a decision like that off the cuff.”

Fluttershy hmm-ed, her brow furrowing in thought. “I think you’re thinking about it too much.”

He looked at her as though she’d just grown a second head. “How can I not think about it? This is not a simple thing. I need to study it, to know the ins and outs, and there’s the emotional—”

A hoof appeared before his face. He stared at it for a moment, then watched it drop back to the ground. When he looked up, Fluttershy was giving him an intent look. “Fine, you don’t think a relationship into being positive or negative. You can’t plan it out like one of Twilight’s checklists or one of your mission plans. You just have to ride the wind and hope for the best.”

He had to admit, what she was saying made sense. Even so, he let out a small whine and took a renewed interest in his hooves. “I’m not very good at that kind of thing.”

With a giggle, Fluttershy elbowed him in the ribs. “I know somepony who is an expert at spontaneity that can teach you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Discord?”

She shot him a dull look. “I meant Pinkie.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Wait, so you support this idea?”

“Ah-ah-ah.” She waggled a hoof in his face. “It’s not my place to decide whether you two are right together. But,” she pressed, her tone suddenly serious, “I do think that there’s nothing wrong with giving it a go, just to see what happens.”

“Oh, great.” Fine took on a lopsided smile and gave himself an overdramatic facehoof. “I’m getting dating advice from the shyest pony in Equestria.”

She giggled and walked ahead. “Rarity rubbed off on me, I suppose. Come on, Sera, Fang and Polar wanted to talk to you once you got your head on straight.”

Fine watched her go for a ways, thinking about all she had told him. His thoughts drifted to Pinkie and the guilt that continued to nag at him. He looked at the way the thestrals avoided him, and the damage to the mountain, and the thestrals who had died. He knew, no matter what Fluttershy said, that he’d be carrying that weight around for a long time.

But somehow, he knew he’d get past it. As he turned his attention back to Fluttershy, he suspected he knew why.

Friendship was just weird like that.