• Member Since 27th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 19th, 2018


If I call you a mudpony, ain't nuthin' to it, my little pony made me do it


After being unintentionally humiliated in public by Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempt to get revenge in a rather twisted scheme. Until the plan fails and you know what hits the fan...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

So, this is my first story, kinda nervous because I've seen stories that are really good like Wheller and apocalypse pony's stories and I'm a little disappointed that I'll never make anything that good, oh well enjoy!:applejackunsure:

Not too bad for a first story. You should space it out though, so it's easier to understand.

Welcome to FimFiction! :pinkiehappy:

Your premise is quite intriguing, but I would really recommend that you ask a proof-reader to go over the text for you. There's an awful lot of text there that would suit being split up into paragraphs, sorted out for spelling / grammar etc and that would really help with readability.

Holy wall of text!

I can't even read this until you fix the formatting. Spaces between paragraphs, and each pony's dialogue is it's own paragraph. I'm not down-voting, just letting you know I'll check back later.


well it's meh, But I can not understand it one bit with the big wall that I have to clib down.

Yeppers. I'd be happy to proofread this for you if you want.:pinkiehappy:
Welcome to FimFiction, and be sure to post anything you want! It's a peaceful environment to gain criticism from your peers.:twilightsmile:

Sorry guys, I'll fix it soon, but understand this is my first ANYTHING written, except for a few reports
in school, sorry for the Derp:derpytongue2:

676307 I'll put this on my read later, but I just want you to know it's not exactly fixed yet. PLEASE make a new paragraph for each quotation you have. Then I'll let you know what I think of it. :pinkiesmile:

EDIT: Yea guys I know youre tired of hearin' my voice but it is now 100% complete and if you guys find anything bigger than a typo or so I won't care because my editor and I are tired of these revisions

but I still hope you love it :pinkiehappy:

alright I'll shut up now :twilightoops:

This isn't too terribly bad, it has a nice premise, but I can help you with it a bit too if you'd like. :twilightsmile:


Thanks for the offer, but I want to keep it as it is, so if in the future I look back on it and I'm a great author, I can see what my writing used to be like

but don't worry, I will get better eventually... :yay:

684272 I understand, and I didn't have any doubt in my mind you'll get better. :)

Hmm far fetching story you have here.


hmm, someone is still commenting on this old story?

I don't know what to make of this:rainbowhuh:

Login or register to comment