What Hasn't Changed
“Are you sure we have to go?”
The younger pony trotted around the room anxiously.
“What’s the matter?” a warm, gentle voice asked from the closet. “I thought you loved parties!”
The young mare paused for a moment. “Of course, but we do not think the ponies of Ponyville will want us there after…”
“They haven’t seen you before, Luna. Nopony at the Summer Sun Celebration is going to think you’re Nightmare Moon.”
“How can you be so sure?” Luna persisted. “That Twilight Sprinkle knew about Nightmare Moon. W-What if she tells everypony that we were that evil mare, and they all become angry at us?”
Celestia laughed gently as she walked over to her desk levitating a dusty old box with her magic.
“It is not funny!” the younger princess protested with a pout.
“You’re right, it’s not,” Celestia chuckled. “it’s just that her name is Twilight Sparkle, not Sprinkle. But thank you for giving me an excellent idea for a nickname.”
“Sister, please!”
“Alright, alright, I see where you’re coming from. But there are a few things you should know. First, Twilight is… unique when it comes to books. Very few ponies have such a breadth of knowledge. Second, she is my personal student, and a good pony. She and the other Elements know that you are no longer Nightmare Moon, and will treat you as they would a new friend.”
Luna was still not satisfied. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am. It’s going to be fine. Why are you so nervous? What’s really the matter, Lulu?” A reassuring grin found its way onto the white alicorn’s muzzle.
“Please do not call us that. We are not quite ready for our old nicknames yet.”
The grin slowly faded. “What do you mean?”
“We have been trapped in the moon for a thousand years. Are we supposed to just pick up where we left off?”
“Luna… I…”
“We know we do not have time for this discussion now.” Luna looked down, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “But… so much has changed. We feel like a stranger in this world, even here with you.”
The blue alicorn hopped up on Celestia’s ornate golden bed and lay down with a sigh. A moment later, she was launched into the air with a yelp as a large weight flopped down beside her.
Luna straightened her ruffled mane as she climbed back onto the bed. “Well, that is one thing that has not changed, at least. You were never gentle with the beds.”
“I’ve only had to have it replaced twenty-three times while you were gone, so I’m getting better.”
The younger alicorn tried not to crack a grin. “Quit being funny. We do not have time for that.”
“The celebration can wait a bit. They wouldn’t start without us.”
Before Luna could move, she found herself wrapped up in a tight embrace. She was surprised, but the feeling wasn’t unwelcome. In fact, it felt distantly familiar.
“Do you remember this?” a gentle voice whispered.
“Perhaps. Do you remember when we used to wrestle and romp around?”
“I do,” Celestia said with a giggle. “Nothing was more fun after a day of being regal and dealing with nobles.”
“And then we’d get tired and fall asleep…”
“…and our manes would be tangled up in the morning.”
Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, though Celestia could have sworn she felt Luna hug back just a little tighter.
“Feeling better?” Celestia asked.
“A little, thank you.”
“You know, there’s something else that hasn’t changed.”
Luna seemed to perk up a bit. “What would that be?”
“I still love you more than anything in the world.”
The younger alicorn was speechless for a moment, and then rolled over to face her sister.
“We love you too, sister. We always have, and always will. Even when we were… not ourselves.”
“Thank you, Luna. That means a lot.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “We are not sure you truly understand. Let us put it another way. Spending a thousand years trapped in the moon is not something we would wish upon our worst enemy.”
Celestia closed her eyes, unable to look at her sister.
“However, if you needed us to, or if it would help you… we would go through it again.”
The older alicorn’s eyes snapped open again in shock, and she could only stare into her sister’s pained but determined eyes. Their wordless exchange lasted for what seemed like an eternity until Celestia finally looked away, and a soft sob broke the silence.
“Sister? Sister, we are sorry. We did not mean to make you cry.”
Celestia’s voice shook slightly as she spoke. “I kept count, you know.”
“What?”
“The number of days you were gone. I kept count. Three hundred and sixty-five thousand, two hundred and forty-two.”
Luna was taken aback. “Why? There was no—”
They were interrupted by a series of firm knocks on the room’s ornate double doors, causing both princesses to look over at them.
“Your Highnesses?” came a slightly muffled voice from outside. “It is time for us to leave for Ponyville.”
“We’ll be just a moment!” Celestia called in a clear and gentle voice.
As Celestia got up off the bed and went to her desk, Luna found herself a little shocked at how quickly her sister had composed herself. Of course, she had had a thousand years to practice.
“You can stay here if you really want to, Luna,” the older alicorn said. “But I would really like you to come with me. I think it’ll be good for you, and I’ll be beside you the entire time, I promise.”
“We trust you, sister,” Luna grinned. “But so help us, if you pull one of your old pranks while we are there…”
“The whoopee cushions are all in storage, don’t worry.” Celestia chuckled. “But I cannot make any guarantees when we get back.”
“Likewise.”
With that, the princesses opened the doors and stepped out into the hallway. Along with the Royal Guards, there were a lot of castle staff and nobles loitering around, no doubt curious. Everypony seemed to fall silent at that same moment.
Luna tried her best to make a good appearance, keeping in step with her sister and moving slowly and deliberately.
Suddenly, the sound of a few ponies stomping broke the silence, and before Luna could react, the hall was filled with applause and cheering. Overwhelmed by the attention, all Luna could think to do was smile shyly and nod at as many ponies as she could.
“You did not have to set that up for us, sister,” Luna said as they left the castle and headed for the carriage.
“Surprisingly, I knew as much about that as you did! I did announce your return to the staff and guards, but did not tell them how to react to it. They’re good ponies, Luna. I picked them for a reason, and they’ll want to be your friends too, if you’ll give them the chance.”
Luna stopped mid-stride, gazing down in contemplation, prompting Celestia to pause as well.
“Well, then we shall have to prove ourselves worthy of their friendship, and eventually the privilege of leading them.” The younger princess had a sudden determination in her eyes, something that Celestia had dearly missed about her.
“Oh, and one more thing,” Luna added.
“Hmm?” Celestia looked back as she stepped into the carriage.
“When we return to our old size, we are going to have so many wrestling matches.”
“Deal.”
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Sweet and poignant. If this is your first effort, you're miles ahead of the pack my friend. Well done.
Oh, and have some ribbons:
i.imgur.com/BF6x9JM.png
Tag-a-Long's Book Club
i.imgur.com/GizVyc0.png
The Goodfic Bin
Hey, nice job on the cover art! And the story was a very touching glimpse of the sisters, being family once more. Well done!
Very sweet.
A few suggestions:
Better as, "Celestia laughed gently as she walked over to her desk levitating a dusty old box with her magic." This reads more smoothly and eliminates the contradiction of 'giving' something as a noun that's more accurately stated as a verb.
The commas should be periods: “You’re right, it’s not.” Celestia chuckled. “It’s just that her name is Twilight Sparkle..."
Since 'chuckled' is a verb, this said tag can stand alone as its own sentence, so the dialogue in the quotes should use complete sentence capitalization rules.
The apostrophe is not needed. Should just be, "A reassuring grin found its way onto the white alicorn’s muzzle."
Said tag again. Should be a period instead of a comma at the end of the sentence of dialogue. "“We know we do not have time for this discussion now.” Luna looked down, a single tear rolling down her cheek."
A hyphen (actually a minus sign on most keyboards) isn't really the right punctuation here. It should be an en or em dash, really. They're kind of a pain because they're not on standard keyboards, but they can be typed in a roundabout way in most Windows applications by holding down the Alt key and then hitting 0150 (for en dash, –) or 0151 (for em dash, —). Or just copy and paste one of those two, since I guess they're in this comment now.
Said tag. It should be, "“Your Highnesses?” came a slightly muffled voice from outside.", since the tag is a sentence fragment and not a complete sentence if the dialogue isn't present.
Another said tag. Should be either, "“You can stay here if you really want to, Luna,” the older alicorn said, “but I would really like you to come with me.", or "“You can stay here if you really want to, Luna,” the older alicorn said. “But I would really like you to come with me."
And one more 'Luna grinned' can be a standalone sentence, so capitalization and periods rather than commas to that effect are needed: "“We trust you, sister.” Luna grinned. “But so help us, if you pull one of your old pranks while we are there…”"
“Oh, and one more thing,” Luna added.
Overall, a very good story! I enjoyed it and I think it's a very promising first effort. Thanks for sharing it!
6584035
Wow, thanks for that! Definitely helpful suggestions!
Do you think I should edit them into this story, or save them as reminders for other ones?
6584680 My personal style, as an author, would be to edit the story and correct them. Making mistakes and then going back and fixing them, thus learning by experience, is pretty much how I became better at grammar than I started out (which was terrible).
The more you practice writing, the more your future writing will resemble what you've practiced, so it pays to work on things like good grammar as much as possible as early as possible.
6584731
Alright, I'll be sure to do that then! Thank you kindly for the advice!
Great vignette, Orange; very nicely written. You did a great job catching the essence of both Celestia and Luna's characters. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Oh, as a side note, your comment about Celestia counting the days of Luna's exile reminded me of another wonderful vignette which I think fits in nicely with that sentiment: << https://www.fimfiction.net/story/48108/statistics >>. Its a bit old so maybe you haven't seen it. Its amazing how powerful a simple list of facts can be.
Approved and Reviewed for Rated 'E' for Everyone
That was such a sweet little fic. Damn, I'm glad I read that. I look forward to more of your works.