Semaj
Joined 27th Jul, 2015 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Um, I hate to point this out but.
The S in Sweetie should be capital, I can see how it might have slip passed you, and it never happen again, plus this was the only error I could find, so this is just me being a bit picky.
Please don't hate me.
6468702
Thank you!
6468858 No, Thank You for making this awesome fic.
6468881
Daw, you're welcome!
Hi there! I wanted to say that your fic has caught my interest! I do plan on reading, but I just wanted to point out that, in your story description, "wares" should be "wears". I'd hate to see someone else be turned away because of a small thing like that. Anyway, can't wait to read!
6468958
Oops!
Maybe I shouldn't write my fic's description at 2:00 am.
Regardless, thank you!
6468999
And when I do read, I'll be sure to leave a comment on the story itself. Looking forward to this one!
No problem! It happens to the best of us.
Hmm... A crossover fic between Bioshock and MLP...
Oh-Ho-ho, welcome to my neck of the woods friend!
I'll be sure to keep a close eye on this fic.
WELCOME TO RAPTURE!
More I need more this is really good.
6475973
Why thank you! I'm well under way with the next chapter, so it won't be too long.
I will try my best to not disappoint.
Intrigued I am by the story you have so kindly place upon this site...Let you chapters come swift like a cold night breeze
Gr8 sir
6513112
Thx sir
Huh, ain't that something
I like it, I really do
I fuckin hate scootaloo, she's damn annoying, but other than that I can kind of see where this might be going
So I guess it's pretty good so far, it's got me interested that's for sure
6551102
Thank you!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Do you just not like Scootaloo, or is it how I write her that you don't like?
6551532 the way you write her it's what's getting me.
So far it's only been the "I'm annoying for the sake of annoying you because it's fun to annoy everyone one and everything without a care in the world"
just like every other 'edgy' brat I've met in my life
3 words huh? I don't suppose one of these three are the 'Jack' of this story?
6552923
They all are.
One is Guns
One is plasmids
And one is wrench.
I will say one is a bit more Jack than the others
Take what you will from that
6553104 One is half jack after all...
cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/57869784.jpg
6779541
This pleases me! Soon everyone will pay attention! Soon the world will be mine! MWAHAhahahaaaa...
I mean... Awesome! I'm glad you're interested.
6782709
Fixed
Great chapter, hope the rest is as good
I really like the idea so far. You've got my interests peaked. Keep up the good work and I look forward to the next chapter :)
I changed my mind from my first comment.
I. Am. In love.
This story has a ton of amazing potential and really makes it feel like the original bioshock game! I'm loving it!!!
6783426
Thank you so much! That means a lot! Twilight and I have some really crazy ideas that we want to put in, and the main action should be starting soon! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and I shall try not to disappoint!
2 things
1st
not sure on that rarity and
2nd
FIRST COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cant wait for the next chapter!!!
That took quite a turn..... I like the story but I'm kinda nervous about what's going to happen next
Can't wait for more! I have to say though, if rainbow already has a connection to the vita chambers and rarity will be the one with plasmids(guessing there), I'm curious as to what an will do, though I'd guess she will be the one with the mechanical firepower of guns and such since that's all I can think of being left. Keep up the good work doods!
Help! I've been "forced" to like this story! I cannot wait to read some moar!
Huh when your collaborator told me about this I expected it to be interesting but poorly written. I was wrong it's well written and interesting.
6784536
"Forced"
6784726
Twilight is really pushing this thing hard lately isn't he? Well thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it and think that it's well written.
6785229 I told him about it when talking about Bioshock.
6785234
Well I'm glad you're getting it out there.
It's an alright story, fairly stock so far. If I recall, ADAM was more about enhancement than healing. The healing aspect of it, like Vita-chambers, didn't drive everyone naddy bonkers. Er, then again in the game Vita-chambers were designed so only Andrew Ryan could use them, so they were sort of engineered to not be horrible, since he got all the good stuff.
...I haven't heard a Would You Kindly yet.
So I was recommended randomly on one fine evening (I don't know how this happened hiatus pretty much left me to die productively some years ago
) to take a look at this story and so far the experiance has been pleasant.
You manage to keep anything even hinting towards out-of-character issues far away from the main cast which is damn nice and certainly is an easy pitfall most would fall into given the nature of Bioshock. I would say the only thing I did notice that may be iffy is that the story follows the original Bioshock story very closely.
Luckily, I happen to have done a crossover ages ago that pretty much did the same thing and I can see the unique stuff and situations you made in order to incorporate ponies fitting well into the plot structure that's not a complete scene-by-scene rehash of the original game.
Looking forward to seeing more of what you guys got, you're doing great.
6788993
We are going to have a proper editor go over some of the stuff because we've been a bit rushed as of late. If you see anything wrong don't hesitate to point it out.
I quite like how you started this story, the ponies seem to be well in-character, there's a believable reason for everything, and I look forward to reading more of this fic.
Overall, this was a good intro, but there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Mostly some missing commas, quotation marks, etc. Still, it's caught my interest.
6789749
Yeah, we are getting someone to edit it
Weird, what happen to Cheerilee and the sailor? Oh well.
I mean, wasn't Cheerilee with Sootaloo when they got to the lighthouse island? Wait, she was on the other floating debris... so no. Odd. Winter to summer, that's a long time. Enter the Silver guy... back to the lighthouse with the three out of mane six...
At least it's not a complete rehash of the game yet. Good job so far.
6789787 Why did you erase your last comment?
6790732
I noticed they had posted that comment on the second chapter and I said "in the next chapter "