• Member Since 29th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 22nd, 2021

Kaldern


Comments ( 63 )

I can honestly say that I would expect Twilight to be fully informed on all the physical methodology, biological consequences and sociological research done on all aspects of human sexuality. That is it, though; it would all be theory and dry academic texts. Actually trying to have a relationship would be more terrifying to her than if Sunset invited her to join her on a trip through the portal to her alien home-world!

6472766 Oh thanks for picking that up! I write with so much caffeine in my system I miss stuff like that.

This story's title is no lie... Sunset dear, you are dense as hell, :applejackconfused:

Hm, good work for your first story. I'm tracking this.

6478494 Thanks so much! I was a bit hesitant posting this, since I'm always of the opinion that my writing is terrible.

The gods of shipping are happy with such a great offer:pinkiecrazy:

But that aside,it's a very promising story for a first time

6480509 Ever it is my goal to appease the shipping gods, and I hope my next chapter of awkward madness shall bring them joy!

holy shit that excalated quickly LOVE IT but come on no shimmerdash scene

6483074 Not quite yet, but I do have a chapter planned that involves Sunset, Rainbow, those same outfits and a camera.

6483275 cool and i hope you let us khow what the hell happen in sunset,s room between twiligth and pinkie PLZ

Y'all are bein' mighty dense there, Sunset. Ya wearin' the Gravity Brassier by any chance?
(First one to get the reference gets a prize.)

Are there any main ships and what are they?

6499920 I put a brief list of what I had planned shipping wise at the bottom of the description. This is mainly going to be a Sunset shipping fic, but I am planning on putting in more Sci-Twi/Pinkie stuff later on.

Rarity/Sunset...

Rariset? Sunsity? Sunrar? that last one sounds like a file archiver. Rarishim, Shimity... none of those really pop.

6500457 I was having the same problem while I was writing the description... Sunset doesn't seem to have many shipping names, or at least I couldn't find them.

Unsolicited typo post! Chapter 1.

and having been pulled from her storm watching Sunset followed.

and having been pulled from her storm watching, Sunset followed.

the photos that she'd so recently suck there.

the photos that she'd so recently stuck there.

clothes Rarity 'just happened to have' the bell for class rang,

clothes Rarity 'just happened to have'. The bell for class rang,

“Um sure Fluttershy,”
“Whoa, hold up there Sparkle,
“Relax Twilight, your secret
if you think it's okay Twilight,” smiled Sunset,
“Hey Twilight... There's something

When someone is addressed by name, sepaate it on both sides with a comma unless there's other punctuation there.
“Um sure, Fluttershy,”
“Whoa, hold up there, Sparkle,
“Relax, Twilight, your secret
if you think it's okay, Twilight,” smiled Sunset,
“Hey, Twilight... There's something

Unsolicited typo post! Chapter 2.

“You seen the others yet today sugar?”

As per last chapter, comma-separate addressing terms even if they aren't names. I won't go on about this one any more.
“You seen the others yet today, sugar?”

stetson wearing blonde

Stetson-wearing blonde
Otherwise you have 'a stetson that is wearing something blonde'. Also Stetson is a brand and should probably be capitalised.

to connect with her midsection and double her own

to connect with her midsection and double her down/over?

To far to make an accurate shot

Too far to make an accurate shot

Unsolicited typo thread! Chapter 3.

No big ones. Carry on.:trixieshiftright:

Unsolicited typo post! Chapter 4.

Thigh length stocking of dark red fabric

Thigh length stockings of dark red fabric

Unsolicited typo post! Chapter 5.

Twilight was quick to grumbled her agreement

Twilight was quick to grumble her agreement

promising a curl for their 'morning grumpies'.

promising a cure for their 'morning grumpies'.

“One heartfelt, romantic confession and viola!”

“One heartfelt, romantic confession and voila!”

very far beyond 'kinda good'” said the designer,

very far beyond 'kinda good',” said the designer,

6500505
*shrug* I prefer "Sunnity".

Certainly better than what I'd expected with the collection of tags. Sometimes lighthearted polyamory pileups are just what one needs. Followed and upthumbed.

6504651 Thank you, and I appreciate all the typo catching you've done.

Oh what a wonderful little fic! I greatly enjoy this please, for the sake of delaying my own updates, keep it up!

6524443 Unfortunately it's going to be a little while before I have a chance to update, it's nearly exam time where I live. I'm also a big fan of your fic! And so it's really exciting for me that you enjoyed mine.

6524544 daaaw thank you! Hopefully I'll crank out another chapter in the coming days, and worry not, I just finished my degree and entered the old workforce, so I know the pain.

I have Pinkie's recovery time and Sun set's density. :pinkiehappy: (did whiskey pong and vodka shots last Halloween, woke up the next day with no hang-over and full memory of every bit of events; as for the density it took me 'til a girl flat out told me how she felt to realize she was flirting)

God damn. Rarity is into some kinky shit.
Anyways, I absolutely loved this chapter. Please keep it up.

:twilightsmile:

6544690 Thanks! I'm planning on having the next one focus on Rainbow and Sunset

Pinkie being a harlot is kind of a deal breaker on a otherwise 'ok' story

6544769 I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy the story, but thank you for your feedback.

That was one of the hottest things, I've read in a while. :twilightsheepish: :twilightblush: My brain has shut down from hormonal overload :derpyderp2:

6544769 Agreed. I can see Pinkie Pie being a bit free with her affection and being in it just for fun, but this is just excessive.

HiddenMaster out.

Is it weird that I thought this chapter adora8le instead of kinky? :twilightsmile:

... Well... this was cute... fun... sexy?

6545018 I was actually aiming for something half way between the two!

Great job. I have and will continue to enjoy this story. So far this chapter is the best.

6495792 Oh my Celestia, I nearly spewed ginger ale out my nose when I clicked the pic link.

6544774 I don't know. I kind of see Pinkie being an ethical slut in any 'verse.

6554889 So do I, so that's what I'm trying to do with her in this story. Pinkie likes making people smile, and if nakedness just happens to be involved, so much the better.

“Celetia's beard I missed you girls,” confessed Sunset with a face full of crazy pink hair.

img11.deviantart.net/9322/i/2011/077/7/d/no_25_by_thestoicmachine-d3bxnv2.png

Sunset could almost see the smoke coming out of Twilight's ears as the poor girl's brain caught fire.

Inside Twi's brain:
1.bp.blogspot.com/-o-Dp9_mVy9I/UUdoskHylZI/AAAAAAAAAIM/sdK8ASDKwro/s1600/spongebob-brain-fire.gif

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