Excuses... Excuses...

by pertelote345

The Next Morning

Well... That went better than I expected.

I'd overslept my alarm, but given the events of last night I wasn't surprised...

Applejack was snuggled up into the covers next to me.

Oh sweet Celestia that really just happened I wasn't sure if I wanted to panic or squeal like a school filly... But either of those would wake Applejack up.

I eyed her thoughtfully. Should I wake her up? Was this one of those things where we went out and got a post-virginity breakfast?

Was this one of those things where we... continued?

I blushed furiously, turning away from the beautiful mare. I found myself eyeing a rather large stack of paperwork on my nightstand. Apparently my auto-notes spell had still been running after what started as a mostly innocent medical examination became... more personal.

I floated over a few pages and blushed. The notes were detailed... Very detailed.

There were sketches.

I slid them into a drawer, pondering whether I should burn them or publish them when I heard a knock on my door.

"Twilight?" Spike called. "Are you okay?"

I gulped. Applejack was still asleep. After checking to make sure I was presentable, I eased out of bed, throwing over a bathrobe and running a cleansing spell just to be sure.

Things had gotten messy.

I opened the door a crack, spotting a worried little dragon. "Hi Spike... Weren't you over at Rarity's for a sleepover with the Cutie Mark Crusaders?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Uh... Yeah... I got home two hours ago. It's noon."

"Oh..." I let out a half-hearted giggle.

He looked nervous. "Are you sure you're okay? I know after the fight with AJ you said you wanted to be alone, but now you're sleeping late and..."

I held up my hooves. "No! Spike, it... It's not that. In fact Applejack and I worked things out."

His face lit up. "Really?"

I returned the smile. "Really" I knelt down by the little dragon and put a hoof on his shoulder. "Sometimes ponies that love each other have fights, but that doesn't mean they've stopped loving each other. It just means they-"

"Wuz goin' on..." Applejack said, appearing behind me with the covers still wrapped around her.

Spike's eyes widened.

Okay, that was not where I wanted this conversation to go. I turned crimson. "Spike... I can explain..."

He had a grin on his face. "So... You two had an interesting night I see."

Applejack realized what was happening and balked. "Sugar cube, I-"

The little dragon held up a claw. He had a devious look in his eye. "You know... I was thinking I could spend the entire day at the video arcade. You know, leaving you two completely undisturbed... All day."

He patted his side as though checking his non-existent pockets. "Oh shoot... I don't have any money. It would take me ten... No, twenty bits to do something like that! Oh well, I guess I'll just have to spend all day here. You know, reorganizing the bookshelves with you, checking experimental notes... With you."

I floated him a small bag of bits to him and he fled with a salute. In a minute I heard the castle door slam behind him.

Applejack blinked. "Wait... Does this make Spike my pimp?"

I rolled my eyes."How about we ignore the details and just start kissing."

AJ smirked. "Whatever you want... Sugar daddy."

#

"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, Princess," I said, shooting her a salute.

The monarch of the sun smirked as we walked down the hallowed, exquisitely decorated halls of Canterlot Castle. I knew the new guard captain was perfectly competent, but I was glad to see it hadn't fallen apart while I was gone.

"Oh Shining, you needn't be so formal," Celestia reassured, "We are family after all."

I smiled. I admit, I still wasn't sure how I felt about that. Don't get me wrong, Princess Celestia and I had been close ever since I was a foal, but it wasn't too long ago I'd sworn an oath to sacrifice my own life to protect hers...

Speaking to her as an equal... Thinking of her as a family... It was odd to say the least.

She gestured down the hall with a wing. "I suppose what you came here to discuss will require a certain amount of privacy, why don't we continue this conversation in the parlor?"

"Will you need an escort Ma'am?" Asked one of the guards flanking us.

She chuckled. "I think the Prince is all the guard I'll ever need, though I thank you for your concern. Don't worry, I'll cast the panic spell if something happens."

The guards nodded, opening the doors for us. "Of course Ma'am." That said, we wandered into the Royal Tea Room and closed the door behind us.

Celestia wandered over to a couch and gave me that warm smile that she always gave her subjects when they were nervous. "So, you say we have a security issue?"

I scratched the back of my head, choosing to stand (mostly out of habit). "It's probably nothing. It's just... Do you know about Twilight's recent romantic escapades?"

She smiled. "Why yes, of course. She sent me a letter about a week ago. I'd intended to make some time to come down and meet the happy couple, but after Cadence's little unannounced visit I thought they could use a bit of space."

I nodded. "Fair enough... But Prin- I mean, Celestia... How much do you know about Applejack?"

The princess raised an eyebrow. "Quite a lot actually. I've known her family since their surname was 'Smith' and they were rugged pioneers as opposed to skilled business ponies."

I cleared my throat. "So, you know the family... But how much do you know about her?"

Princess Celestia tilted her head, unsure of where I was going with this. "Again, quite a lot. She's been to two grand galloping galas, plays the fiddle extremely well, is an impressive baker and skilled in the martial art of rodeo as well as agricultural work. She may not be a noble, but she's well regarded and an Element bearer." The princess smirked. "Quite honestly I thought you'd be thrilled your sister decided to start her romantic explorations with someone so accomplished and stable."

I smiled, awkwardly, and rubbed my hoof at the upholstery. I swear, Princess Celestia was one of the only ponies I knew who could make me feel like a little colt. Still...

"Don't get me wrong, Applejack seems like an excellent pony. I mean, she baked my wedding cake for pity's sake... But there are some small inconsistencies with her paperwork... And I can't shake the feeling there's something important she's not telling me."

Celestia snorted. "Ah, I think I see what this is." She leaned over, abandoning her refined posture to rest her hooves on the tea table. "Shining, did you know when you first started dating Cadence I had the royal guard investigate you?"

I stared at her. "Wha- What?"

Her expression fell. She looked... apologetic. "I admit, it wasn't the wisest thing I've ever done, but I was scared. I knew you were in the perfect position to gain my niece's trust and then hurt her." She looked away. "I know that's unfair to you, but please understand... Right then I didn't have a lot of family and I felt a bit over-protective."

She met my eyes. "From my investigation I learned that you stole a box of candy bars when you were a high school sophomore, spent a lot of time playing Ogres and Oubliettes at some store called Pegasus Games, and briefly took a ballet class in secret." She smirked. "Honestly your marks in that class were quite good, I'm surprised you weren't secure enough in your masculinity to keep up with it."

I blushed.

Celestia gave me a calming smile, "The point is, I understand what it's like to worry about whether the person who's getting closer to your family is hiding some dark secret, but from what you've said so far it sounds like everything you're worried about could be due to nothing more than a thorough name change." She shrugged. "Most such secrets are rather boring honestly."

Well... It was hard to argue with that. Still, I knew a polite refusal when I saw one. "So... You're not going to open her sealed files so I can investigate the discrepancies?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry Shining, I understand you're worried but I'm afraid you would have to give me more reason to suspect foul play before I was willing to violate a friend's privacy."

Okay... I was starting to feel like a real butt... Still... "Why would Applejack change her name?" I asked, "Is that really so common?"

To my surprise, the princess blushed. "It might have been a matter of context to be honest. I'm certain her parents wouldn't have deliberately given her an embarrassing name, but..." She looked away. "Orchard workers are quite proud of their 'apple bucking' skills..."

I blushed right back. Okay, that was plausible.

I sighed, finally collapsing into a chair. "I guess I should just stop stalking Applejack and be happy for my sister huh?"

Celestia chuckled, taking up a stance of grandmotherly authority. "Not the way I would phrase it, but..."

#

I dragged my defeated butt back into my chambers and plopped down next to my wife. She of course, was on the bed, reading a book and eating pickles.

Cadence grunted through a mouthful. "Before you say anything about stereotypical pregnancy snacks, I'd like to point out that I'm peeing more so I need to replenish my electrolytes."

I snagged a salty cucumber out of the jar and sighed. "Pickles are delicious... Besides, if anyone in this family should be embarrassed it's me. I just spent a week being an over-protective older brother and ended up getting a lecture on violating ponies' privacy from Princess Celestia."

My wife winced in sympathy. "I'm sorry to hear that sweetie... It could be worse. It could have been Luna giving you the 'don't peer into ponies' naughty dreams' talk."

I gave her a grim smile. "Yeah, I guess I did avoid that... Barely." I groaned. "You know what the worst part is? Even though I know it's wrong, I still want to know what Applejack's deal is."

Cadence gave me a nuzzle. "Cheer up my little captain! I got you a present." She reached into her desk with her magic and floated a file over to me.

I perked up. "What's this?"

She smirked. "You're not the only one with connections. A friend of a friend stumbled on these old files on official document modifications collecting dust in an unclaimed off-site storage unit. The stuff inside was considered abandoned, so..."

I stared at her... "This... This seems unethical." If not explicitly illegal.

Cadence shrugged. "Not really. It's just proactive dumpster diving."

I winced. "Cadence..."

My wife rolled her eyes. "Look, if you want, we can have a long conversation about the Crystal Guard's intelligence gathering methods later, do you want to learn the probably not so deep and not so dark secrets of your sister's lover with me or not?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You haven't read them yet?"

She shook her head. "I thought we should do it together, so no."

I eyed the file warily. Celestia had a point, but... The records were discarded and I suppose as commanders of the Crystal Guard we should technically know whatever our agents knew...

Also the files were right there!

I snagged the folder. "We are never telling anyone about this."

Cadence smirked. "I'm not even here."

I opened the file...

And nothing. No arrest records, no nefarious past... Just a change of birth certificate and some other ID. "Mr. Applejack" even had the same dang na-

My eyes widened. Mr?

My wife came to my side. "Shining what's..." She caught sight of the files and froze.

Oh sisters...

Comments

[pertelote345]

6597579
There is an intervening chapter in a separate story I wrote that fills in the gaps.

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

Oh sisters...

Oh, shit, more like.

Shiny, Caddy, there is a reason that you leave things like this alone, kids.

I now foresee that not only are you about to get on Celestia's bad books, you're going to be majorly on Twilight's, once she finds out you've been poking your muzzles where you shouldn't.

I just hope that this doesn't do any serious damage to her and AJ's budding relationship.

I really do.

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

6597599 Where? Link, please.

[pertelote345]

6597613
I'm sorry, it carries a Mature rating so I wouldn't be comfortable linking it here. If you're 18 or older and you've set things up properly in the settings it can be seen in my stories listing.

[Aatxe360]

...pondering whether I should burn them or publish them...

So...keeping them confidentially to herself or locking them away from prying eyes isn't an option?

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

6597661 Oh, okay. I quite understand that.

And yeah, I'm over 18 (try adding about 40 years onto that, actually), and I have the "Mature" filter on so I can read the more mature fics around here.
(Some of Taelea-and-Cody's are pretty ... mature ... (for want of a better word), so I keep it fixed where I can read them.)

Anyway, thanks. I'll check out your story listings for it.

[pertelote345]

6597732
Oh she'll figure that out eventually. She may be part of Equestrian Society of Astronomers, but she's unfamiliar with how to handle papers on these sorts of heavenly bodies.

[Aatxe360]

6597773

So the papers don't really have much to do with astronomy, do they?

[Harmony Muse]

dun dun dun!

[Crescent Minor]

I wanted to snatch the files out of Shining's hooves. I would think that he's regretting looking into it now; this is an 'everything to them, nothing to you' kind of secret. He's a decent guy, so it probably doesn't bother him, but he must realize how Applejack would feel if she knew he'd gone behind her back and found out her gender history. Ya should've just left it alone, man.

[Ms_Fruit_Bat]

Wow, I think they're both going to hide the fact that they know this very badly, and it's just going to get worse from there.
(For once I'm actually going to say, "Listen to Celestia!")

[Ggunsailor]

Uh-oh.
This could end badly.

[Atom Smash]

The little dragon held up a claw. He had a devious look in his eye. "You know... I was thinking I could spend the entire day at the video arcade. You know, leaving you two completely undisturbed... All day."

Smart guy.