Rainbow Dash is a pegusus-girl who is a big fan of a team named wonderbolts,and espesialy of the co-captain named Soarin.Soarin is pegusus-boy who goes on the same school with Rainbow Dash and has a crush on her.They both like its other but they don't admit it.Soarin is doing a mistake and kiss Spitfire in front of Rainbow Dash.Rainbow Dash heartbroken but also decided to get Soarin back, flirts with all the boys in the party,who planned. Are they gonna be together after what Soarin did?Are they gonna be a cuple after the party?Is Spitfire with Rainbow Dash's brother,Blitz?You'll find out if you read the story!
Chapters (4)
OK, without reading I can already see mistakes in the story description.
First, after each . ? ! and , you need a space.
Like so
your version
correct version
Might I suggest the editor groups on the site for any extra help.
….…..dude, you need an editor
When you say "Rainbow Dash 's POV "you need to speak in the first person
Alsow things went a little too fast
6521934
Sooo.....I'm really really really really sorry about the mistakes I made!
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6520724
Look everyponie,I'm not good at grammar at all!
6522732 as SOARINDASH1 and I said, editor.
looking for editors
I've had good luck with this group. You might be able to find one there.
6522775 Thanks!I'm gonna try it!
I can edit for you because I never edited before and I want to try it out.we could try to make this story top notch.
6525204 Thanks you!!!Very very much!Do you want me to sent the story or something like that!?
I really love this story. It's too bad that not many people read it. You really need an editor for the story. Also you should try to describe scenes better. If you need any help I'll be glad to help you
6533381 Thanks!
Nice plot darling.
I'm not saying that it's bad or anything, but you should spend more time on the story.
Like other ponies have said, you really need an editor.
I am editing for Soarindash959, but I can pull a few strings and edit for you too if you are interested.
Overall, this story has potential and I really like it. Let me know if you want me to be your editor.
P/S:
6525204 this is my first time seeing you comment normally without going cap locks crazy
6537505 Wait YOU KNOW MEH....
What, when,how ?
Tell meh
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMOMGOMG
6526306 yeah I guess
6537588 Ok!
6548947 Thanks!
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
6562556 Thanks!
It's mostly OK., but I think that u use the word "soaked" too much
6566012 Ok thanks!
Lol I like the concept you had here, it's just that some parts were a bit confusing; writing is indeed difficult, but you earned a like
6943277 Thank you sooo much!!!
UPDATE! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😊😊😊☺☺😁😢