Rarity Investigates Continuity

Rarity was hanging out at Sugarcube Corner with Pinkie Pie, trying her best not to sample the latest batch of assorted muffins that had been placed on the table before her. A mare had to keep her figure after all, and she was certain that Pinkie Pie would have her way with them in due time anyway.

When Pinkie Pie was done baking the last batch, she sat at the table next to Rarity and placed about 8 muffins on her plate. From somewhere outside the nearby window a grey pony’s head slowly rose into focus and eyed the muffins sitting on the table. Pinkie Pie asked Rarity to open the window with her magic. When Rarity pulled the shutter up with the blue aura of her unicorn spell, Pinkie Pie tossed out five muffins and the grey pony chased after them. Rarity closed the window using her powers once more and then raised an eyebrow at Pinkie Pie.

“What was that about?”

Pinkie Pie shrugged.

“That pony always comes to the shop when I am baking muffins and just stares through the window. I figured she might want some, so I always give her the ones that we can’t put out for sale because they have imperfections. Like the rest of the ones that I’ve placed on the table. Then she leaves. She swings by here pretty much every Tuesday.”

Rarity let out a ‘hmm’ as she took a sip out of the teacup placed in front of her.

“I guess that is why everyone calls her Muffins. She’s quite a strange one. But she seems nice enough.”

Pinkie smiled.

“Oh yes. She’s very nice. She even helped me to set up all of the shop’s baked goods in the store displays one time to thank me for giving her all of the muffins. She doesn’t really talk that much though.”

Rarity nodded.

“That is because of the conflict with Hasbro, darling. But ever since Slice of Life came out, I suppose she will start talking more.”

Pinkie Pie shoved a few muffins in her mouth, swallowed them in one big gulp, and then raised an eyebrow at Rarity.

“Hey wait a minute. How do YOU know we are in a cartoon? I thought I was the only one. That’s why I always break the fourth wall. Like now!”

Pinkie Pie let out a chortle and waved at the camera.

Rarity pulled a costume trunk out of seemingly nowhere with her magic. She got out of her seat at the table and proceeded to slip into a long trench coat and a detective style hat that she pulled out of the trunk.

She then shot a mischievous grin at Pinkie Pie.

“Well you see dear, it all started after the season five opening two part episode. The Cutie Map I think it was called. When we were in that town that…well, we never really did get the name of, come to think of it. But anyway, when we went to the town with all of those odd ponies with equal signs for cutie marks we passed by a clothing stall. And for some reason I told the shop keep that I didn’t want to try on one of his outfits, when in reality they were an excellent representation of medieval peasant fashion. I DID want to purchase one to study so I could make a pattern for the boutique, but instead I said that I didn’t. Almost like things were out of my control. Like someone wrote it. But at that time, I just thought I was being silly. So I brushed things off and concentrated on the matter at hoof.”

Pinkie stuffed another muffin in her mouth and nodded.

“Makes sense to me,” she said, between chews.

Rarity began pacing back and forth in front of the table and then continued on.

“Well, then came episode three, Castle Sweet Castle. There was nothing that stood out too much about this episode besides one important thing. I actually LIKED the idea of each of us putting something that represented a piece of us in the council room. In fact, I thought it would be a great idea to carry this theme all throughout the castle. But instead, as if from seemingly nowhere, we went with the whole chandelier idea. And each of us only decorated the rooms we felt represented us the most. But that contradicted the whole idea of the chandelier. It was as if, the writers had no idea what they were doing. You know what I mean, darling?”

Pinkie Pie nodded and waved towards the screen.

She blurted out, “Hi writers! I hope you’ll ship me with the Yak Prince in one episode. He’s a real cutie once you get to know him.”

Then she stuffed another muffin in her face as Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Yes, we all know about your crush on the Prince Rutherford, Pinkie Pie. But this isn’t about that. Please try to concentrate.”

Pinkie Pie gave Rarity a salute, and after swallowing her muffin said, “Yes sir! Um I mean ma’am. Ma’am like sir.”

Rarity let out a small sigh and then continued on.

“Very good. Anyway, next came episode four, which I believe was called Bloom and Doom.”

Pinkie Pie waved her hoof in front of her in a ‘no’ sign.

“No Rarity. It was called Bloom and Gloom.”

Rarity gave a small laugh and waved a hoof in front of her dismissively.

“Oh that’s right dear. Silly me. Anyway, in Bloom and Gloom this is where the biggest clue came in. Even though I wasn’t really in that episode, when Twilight talked to me about everything that happened later, somehow I knew what was going on. I suppose you might argue it was because I was in Sweetie Belle’s dream. But then what about Twilight or everyone else?”

Pinkie grinned.

“I was a chicken in Apple Bloom’s dream!”

Pinkie Pie clucked like a chicken and then stuck another muffin in her mouth. It was the last one, so after she realized there were no more muffins her eyes teared up a bit.

Rarity rubbed her chin in thought.

“Yes. You WERE a chicken. But you shouldn’t have known that. And Twilight and the others certainly shouldn’t have known that either. So it got me thinking some more.”

Pinkie Pie nodded weakly as she continued to lament over the pile of muffins that were no longer in front of her, but somewhere in her digestive tract instead.

Rarity slammed one of her hooves on the table, causing an unseen muffin to raise up from underneath the fabric on the plate. Pinkie Pie’s eyes glazed over with delight and she slipped it gently in her mouth, taking great care to chew slowly to enjoy the very last muffin in the batch.

Rarity pointed outside the window towards the sky, then continued, “But then came episode five. It was called Tanks for the Memories if my memory serves me well. And this was the greatest inconsistency of all. It has been winter at least three times since Twilight moved to Ponyville, as my memory recalls. And at least two of those times, Rainbow Dash had Tank as a pet. Yet it wasn’t until NOW that she reacted the way she did about Tank hibernating. Things just didn’t add up, no matter how I thought about them.”

Pinkie Pie finished the last muffin and teared up a little again, but this time at the thought of the episode.

“You have to admit though. That episode was really sad.”

Rarity put a reassuring hoof on her friends shoulder.

“Yes Pinkie Pie. It was very sad to see Rainbow Dash react the way she did. But at least everything turned out all right in the end.”

Pinkie Pie gathered all of the muffin crumbs to the center of the plate, and then slipped them into her mouth.

She then said, “Well of course it did, silly. This show is for colts and fillies. There always has to be a happy ending.”

Rarity crossed her hooves across her chest.

“I’ll have you know that this show has sophisticated writing and complex storylines. Which is why all ages can enjoy watching it.”

Pinkie Pie licked the plate a few times and then set it on the table before saying, “That’s why we have a really sweet comic book series too. You turned evil in one issue. That was funny.”

Rarity uncrossed her hooves and stared blankly at Pinkie Pie.

“You mean, that didn’t happen in the show? I…I thought it did.”

Pinkie Pie let out a chortle.

“Oh no. We look different in the comics. It’s like we have…bolder lines around us or something. I just can’t put my hoof on it. Anyway, we’ve had all sorts of comic adventures.”

Rarity thought this over and then nodded.

“Hmm…well that would explain why I remember all sorts of things that didn’t happen in the show. Which brings me to one of my next points about the next episode of season five; Appaloosa’s Most Wanted. One day, shortly after that episode aired, Big Mac was complaining to me about how we was no longer the biggest pony around. And I understood what he meant by that. But the thing was, I never was IN that episode. How could I know anything about it? I mean I suppose Big Mac could have learned about Trouble Shoes, then passed the information along to all of our friends until it got to me or something. But not right after he got back into town. It would have taken longer than that.”

When Rarity was finished speaking, the table began to shake. Before Pinkie Pie or Rarity could react to what was going on, Discord appeared on top of the table, wearing the same orange outfit he wore to the Grand Galloping Gala.

He smiled mischievously down at both of them from his place standing atop the table and said, “I am sorry to interrupt you ladies, but the truth is that I have been listening for some time now from up there on the ceiling, and I just wanted to pipe in that my episode, Keep New Friends But Keep Discord was the next one on the list. And if you ask me, it was the best one of this season. Such great writing. Such great characters. Well, except for that Tree Hugger.”

Discord made a disgusted face and hopped off of the table as Rarity stared after him in disbelief.

“Wait a minute; how do YOU know this is a show? Well, I guess you have been listening to us all of this time. But then, you couldn’t have known the title of this episode. I hadn’t said anything about it before you piped in.”

Discord turned toward the table and took a seat in-between Rarity and Pinkie Pie.

When he was settled into his chair he waved one of his claws daintily at the ponies before him and said, “Oh please. I break the fourth wall more than Pinkie Pie does. You don’t think I know what is going on? Plus, I am always traveling between dimensions. Of course I know we are in a cartoon. It is so hilarious how no one else in this universe seems to know what is going on. If they did, they wouldn’t be so angry about me spreading chaos.”

Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Actually, I’m pretty sure that most ponies would still be upset about you turning the world into a giant chaos zone, like you did in the two opening episodes of season two. I know that I am.”

Pinkie Pie beamed.

“I liked the chocolate rain. But sadly, no pony else did. I feel your pain, Discord old pal.”

Discord Shrugged.

“It’s not like I’m not USED to ponies telling me not to act so chaotic. And I certainly wouldn’t want to do anything that would make Fluttershy upset. Or um…Princess Celestia.”

He coughed a bit after saying that part, trying to hide his red cheeks at the mention of Princess Celestia’s name. Fortunately, Pinkie Pie was examining the table for stray muffin crumbs at that moment and Rarity was too caught up in her own thoughts to notice.

Rarity got up from her seat and pointed towards Discord.

“But speaking of the Discord episode, this is another time when I noticed an inconsistency. I ALWAYS bring my emergency clothing chest with me everywhere I go. Which is how I was able to get another dress after Discord took my first one that was covered with slime with that vacuum cleaner, by the end of the episode. But the dress I packed looked different than the one I ended up slipping on later. I packed a white dress with a Roman design. But when I went to open the chest, the EXACT same dress I was wearing before was inside. It just didn’t make any sense. I knew what I packed. And that dress wasn’t it.”

Pinkie Pie nodded to show Rarity she was listening.

“Yeah, I noticed the dress thing too.”

Then Pinkie winked up at Discord.

“So um, Discord, do you think you can turn these crumbs I found on the table into more muffins with your chaos magic?”

Discord scoffed.

“That is the easiest trick in the book. Just who do you take me for? Trixie the Great and NOT Powerful?”

Discord snapped his clawed fingers together and all of the crumbs on the table turned into more muffins which he floated back onto the plate.

Pinkie Pie grinned.

“That was so amazing! Thank you Discord. You’re the best.”

She proceeded to stuff two more muffins in her mouth, but took care to chew them slower this time around.

Discord picked up a muffin and popped it in his mouth. Upon seeing Rarity’s disapproving stare, he gestured for her to continue on.

“Ugg, you two and those muffins I swear. Well anyway, there wasn’t too much amiss in episode eight, The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone. Not that I can recall anyway. However, in the next episode, Slice Of Life, almost everyone in the town was acting off that day. The Doctor never had a British accent before that point in time, but ever since that episode he has talked like that one Fetlock Hooves character on the television. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia used to live in Canterlot in season one, but now they live in Ponyville. I mean I supposed they could have moved here in that time, but I certainly don’t remember anyone new moving into town. Muffins had a completely different voice than in The Last Roundup, that one episode from season two. Lyra and Bon Bon I am pretty sure were, how should I say this? Getting friendly with one another? But everyone knows they are best friends who were raised together. They are practically like sisters. And don’t get me started on that whole Bugbear thing. I never remember hearing any stories about a Bugbear growing up. But everyone just acted like it was the most normal thing in the world to be attacked by one. It was complete chaos I tell. Complete chaos.”

Discord’s ears perked up at the mention of chaos.

“Sigh. It is a pity I was taking a vacation in the Sock Puppet dimension that day. I probably would have fit in nicely with that episode.”

Pinkie Pie tilted her head to one side and asked, “Why were you visiting the the sock puppet dimension?”

Discord popped another muffin into his mouth and made a class of tea materialize in front of him so he would have something to wash it down with. After swallowing the muffin and taking a sip of his tea he said, “I wasn’t lying when I said that the Socket Puppet dimension is a pretty nice place to visit, once you get used to it. The people there are pretty used to chaotic things, which is why I fit in well there.”

Pinkie nodded and shakily reached across the table for another muffin. She was becoming full, but she didn’t want to admit defeat just yet. She dragged herself close to the plate of muffins, wrapped her hooves around three, and slithered back to her side of the table, trying to ignore the aching sensation that was beginning to form in her stomach.

Pinkie Pie stared at the three muffins now resting on her plate with a look of determination. She was going to eat those muffins if it was the last thing she did. She told herself this as she continued to stare at them, working up the enthusiasm to stick them in her mouth.

Discord continued to sip his tea, and Rarity rubbed her chin deep in thought as she continued on.

“I hardly recall what happened in episode ten. I think it was called Princess Spike or something. The only thing that stood out was that abomination of a statue. It is perhaps the ugliest thing I have ever seen in my life. When Twilight showed me pictures of it, I about lost my lunch.”

Pinkie Pie had just worked up the courage to stick another muffin in her mouth and felt her face turn a pale shade of green when she swallowed it.

“I know the feeling, “ she said, trying her best to keep the muffin down by rubbing her tummy in a clockwise motion.

Discord shrugged as architecture was one of the subjects he had little interest in. Well, that is to say, unless he was the one destroying it. He got a devilish grin when he thought about flattening the Canterlot Castle with his powers but brushed off the thought when he pictured how angry Fluttershy and Princess Celestia would be if he tried it.

For the first time since the odd tea party had formed, Rarity placed a muffin on an empty plate Pinkie had set in front of her previously and took a small bite before continuing on.

“In the next episode, Party Pooped, there were also glitches in the mare-trix. You see, there is simply no way that Pinkie Pie could have possibly completed her journey to the Yak kingdom in a half of a day. And furthermore, there is no way she could have slid all of the way back to Ponyville in less time then it took her to get there in the first place. But of course, this IS Pinkie Pie we are talking about so, come to think of it, maybe this isn’t the best example after all.”

Pinkie Pie nodded weakly and continued to rub her tummy from her end of the table. Rarity noticed that her stomach seemed to grow a few inches in size, probably from all of the muffins she had engulfed while they were talking. Thinking of her girlish figure again, Rarity calmly pushed her muffin to the side to finish later.

Discord bounced up and down in his seat and said, “Oh, oh, I do want to talk about the next episode. It is one of my favorites. See Twilight learned a very valuable lesson about friendship in that episode and that ending part with Moondancer, well I’d be lying if I said it DIDN’T make me tear up a bit. But only a little. I am the Lord of Chaos after all. Little things like this can’t get to me.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow up at him.

“Is that so? Well then, how about the latest episode of As The Ponyville Cart Turns when Miranda had to give up her baby to prove her love to Rodriguez?”

Discord broke out in a fit of tears and began kicking his legs and arms about, making the table shake as he did so.

“Miranda was such a foal. How could she give up the only love child that she and her true love Prince Mareic had together?”

Discord continued his fit for a few more minutes, before he realized he had given himself away, slowly stopped his small tantrum, and let out a nervous laugh.

“Okay,” he said, clearing his throat and composing himself a bit, “I admit it. I am kind of a sucker when it comes to those kinds of things. But you better not tell anyone, or I will reign chaos in both of your homes for an entire year. Do I make myself clear?”

Pinkie Pie picked up one of the muffins on her plate and said, “I Pinkie Pie swear that I won’t tell a soul!”

Then she stuck the muffin in her left eye, but winced shortly afterwards.

“Ouch. This is easier when I use cupcakes. I’ll have to take note of that next time,” she said, as she attempted to pick away the stay pieces of muffins from the caked on areas around her left eye.

Rarity took a sip of tea and gave Discord a reassuring smile.

“Oh please, darling. I gossip with my friends all of the time. And I never let anything slip. Gossip between mares in the most sacred of things, wouldn’t you agree?”

Discord raised an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t know. But thank you just the same.”

He raised his pinkie as he started to dine on his empty tea cup.

Rarity took another small bite of the muffin she had pushed to the side previously and then continued on.

“Then came episode thirteen, which I believe was called Do Princesses Dream Of Magic Sheep? As crazy as everything got in that episode, it made sense since we were all experiencing everything in our dreams. But the thing that didn’t make sense was how we didn’t remember our shared dream when we woke up. Yet later, we were able to talk about it like we HAD remembered everything. Furthermore, all of the inconsistencies with the residents of the town that were in Slice Of Life carried over into the dream sequence of this episode. By this point I had figured out that something very big was going on. It was something that I just had to get to the bottom of.”

Discord made a pink tea hat appear on his head, along with a bright pink feather boa around his neck. He made another full teacup materialize in front of him again. After taking a sip he placed one claw on his hip and asked, “And how did you get to the bottom of things, Darling. I’m just dying to know.”

Pinkie raised her hoof from the other end of the table.

“Oh, Oh, me too. But first…I think I have to use the little fillies’ room.”

Pinkie Pie placed her hoof over her mouth and ran to the nearest bathroom.

Rarity rolled her eyes and picked up a tea kettle that was placed beside the plate of muffins in the center of the table. She topped off the contents in her cup and asked Discord if he needed any more tea in his own cup. But he politely declined and made more tea appear in his cup with his chaos magic. Around that time, Pinkie Pie came rushing back to the table and quickly reclaimed her seat to listen to the rest of Rarity’s story.

“So what did I miss while I was gone?” She asked, pouring a cup of tea for herself for the first time since she had sat down at the table.

“You didn’t miss anything, dear. I was just getting to the next part of the story.” Rarity explained, adding two lumps of sugar in her tea.

Rarity winced as she looked over and saw Discord slip two sardines into his own cup. Discord ignored her appalled expression and stirred the tiny fish in before taking a long sip.

Pinkie Pie hopped up and down in her chair and asked, “So when did you learn huh? I want to know too!”

Rarity nodded as she stirred the two lumps of sugar into her teacup and continued on.

“I’m getting to that dear. You see, one of the reasons I opened a boutique in episode fourteen, which was called Canterlot Boutique as I recall, was so I would be close to the Canterlot Library. I figured if some place had an answer to everything that was going on, that would be it. So after I worked things out with Sassy Saddles, I went to the Star Swirl The Bearded section of the library and looked into his personal diaries. But no matter how hard I searched, I just couldn’t find any hint that something was out of place. Which takes us to episode fifteen; Rarity Investigates.”

Rarity paused to leave the table. She ducked behind a curtain in the bakery, and when she came out she was wearing Victorian style dress with a small tea hat.

Pinkie Pie clapped her hooves together in approval and Discord made a card appear with a score that read ‘8.5’ with a small tagline underneath that added ‘for trying too hard’.

Rarity let out a small huff upon reading Discord’s scorecard and tried to ignore it as she made her way back to the table wearing her new outfit.

Discord shrugged and snapped his fingers sending the scorecard away as Rarity took another sip of her tea.

After a few moments of atmospheric silence, the room turned black and white and Rarity smirked confidently.

“THIS was the final nail in the coffin, so to speak. You see, whenever I would go into detective mode, like I am doing right now, the colors of the ENTIRE world would change to black and white. And also some strange jazz music would play from an unknown location in the area. After I finished helping Rainbow Dash discover who the pony who framed her was, I ran off to catch the mysterious jazz player. And who do you think I found?”

Pinkie Pie was practically at the edge of her seat.

“Who did you find? Tell me! I can’t take the suspense anymore!” She yelled, rocking back and forth a bit to try to calm her excitement.

Rarity grinned.

“It was none other than Princess Celestia! Oh…and also Princess Luna. Princess Luna was on the drums, creating the smooth jazz symbol effect. Um, anyway, when I discovered the two of them making the suspicious jazz music I let them know everything I knew about the season up until this point. And they were forced to admit that they both new that this world was nothing more but a cartoon the entre time.”

Discord added more tiny fish to his teacup and glanced timidly down at Rarity.

“How is…Princess Celestia by the way. I mean, not that I care or anything. I’m just curious.”

Discord bit his lower lip and stirred his teacup nervously.

“Oh she seemed fine, darling. Luna was well too. They explained that it was their job to create all of the special effects in the episodes. Which explains why they are off-screen most of the time. You see, they are in the background doing the screen lighting, making the music, and the other effects that make the episodes as sophisticated as they are. So that was it. I knew from that day on that we live in a cartoon universe. And that people in other universes even watch our show. It was a lot to take in at first, I admit, but now I am pretty okay with it. Although Celestia said to only tell people you suspect might know we are living in a cartoon as well. Which is why you were the person I stopped to tell everything to at first, Pinkie Pie.”

Pinkie Pie’s eyes grew large with wonder.

“Oooo, it all makes sense now. But one thing doesn’t quite add up.”

Rarity raised one of her eyebrows.

“What do you mean, dear?”

Pinkie held up two muffins that represented Celestia and Luna and said, “Well if Princess Celestia and Princess Luna work on the technical aspects of the episodes and the music, then who writes them?”

Rarity’s right eye began to twitch.

“I…I don’t know. I didn’t think of trying to figure that out. I guess that Detective Rarity has another case to solve! Come on Pinkie Pie, Discord. To the Canterlot Royal Castle!”

Discord put his hooves up on the table and waved his clawed hand dismissively.

“I’m afraid I am going to have to sit this one out ladies. I am due for a tea party with Fluttershy in another hour or so. I wouldn’t want to be late. But do send Celestia my regards.”

Rarity nodded.

“All right. Then it is just you and me Pinkie Pie. What do you say? Are you up for another adventure!”

Pinkie Pie hopped out of her seat and came to stand by Rarity at her side of the table.

“You know it!”

Rarity hopped out of her seat and pointed toward the door.

“Then we go!”

The two said a brief good bye to Discord and then hopped off to seek their answers in Canterlot.

Meanwhile, a purple pony opened the window Rarity had shut earlier and joined Discord at the now empty table.

“So," she said, picking up the last muffin from the plate, “How do you think they will react when they find out I’m the one who writes the episodes?”

Discord slurped the tiny fish in his tea glass into his mouth and drank the remaining tea contents of the glass before setting it back on the table.

“Oh, I don’t think they’ll be too surprised. You are the main character of the show, after all.”

Twilight Sparkle shot Discord a grin as she finished eating the last muffin she had previous sat in front of her.

From somewhere outside the window, Celestia and Luna started playing some Twilight Zone style music as the camera panned away from the building and everything faded into darkness.

Luna gave Celestia a hoof bump and said, “That was another great fan fiction, sister. But now we’ve got to get back to the palace and pretend like we don’t know who writes the episodes to create an air of mystery and stuff.”

Celestia nodded and the two flew off through the darkness toward their castle to wrap up another fan fiction to add to the Celestia and Luna portion of the Canterlot Royal Library.

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Enduring Man-Child

Enduring Man-Child #1 · Sep 20th, 2015 · 2 · ·

Wonderful little whimsical story. And right after the episode aired!

LiterarySerenity

LiterarySerenity #2 · Sep 20th, 2015 · 2 · ·

Hilarious. I really enjoyed how you set out to have all the characters break the fourth wall, while still keeping the tone and characterizations very "in-show." Wonderful!

Rarity Investigates Continuity - LyraAlluse

Rarity Investigates Continuity

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