A spell gone wrong
Celestia walked down the hallways of Canterlot, going to what had become her usual spot when not doing anything in the past six years, the window room. She passed by numerous guards, solar and lunar, on her way there, giving each a motherly smile.
As she reached the window room, which documented the most important parts of Equestrian history, as well as memorials for the most important ponies in said history, she saw five others. The closest was her sister, Princess Luna, her head hung low as she stared at the ground. Those next to her were four of the Elements. Pinkie Pie, who was putting cupcakes and cakes in front of two particular windows, Applejack, who had her trademark hat on and covering her face so none could see the sadness Celestia knew was there, Fluttershy, who had her head low as well, but had small streams of tears running down her cheeks, Rainbow, who simply had an expression of sorrow on her face, and Spike, who had grown quite a bit in the past six years, with an expression of hardness, masking his inner sadness. The reason as to why was quite simple.
As Celestia walked up beside her sister, none but Pinkie acknowledging her due to their own sorrow, she saw the two mirrors. One had three diamonds over a purple and white background on it, the other having an all too familiar starburst symbol over a lavender background.
These two windows were memorials to Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, both of whom had gone missing six years ago to the day.
"Hello, Luna," Celestia said as she looked at the two windows. "How are you doing?"
"Fine, dear sister," Luna said, looking up at Twilight's window. "I simply wish that they were here."
Celestia put a wing over her sister's barrel in a comforting gesture. "As do I, Luna," Celestia said. "But, as much as we miss them, I'm certain they'd wish for us to, on the anniversary of their disappearance, to remember the good times, and not what might have been."
"I know, but still, Twilight Sparkle was the first friend I had upon my return, aside from you, sister," Luna said. "I feel it is only right that I remember her on this day."
Celestia smiled. "I know what your connection is to her, Luna," Celestia said. "Why do you think I come here every year, too?"
Before Luna could respond, a solar guard rushed in. "Princesses," he said out of breath, "our scouts report two metors coming down from orbit, and they detect life forms on them. What should we do?"
"Where will they impact," Celestia asked, her voice becoming steely to reassure her subjects everything would be okay.
"Just outside Ponyville, your highness," the guard replied, bowing.
"Then I shall go and make first contact should the beings be peaceful, and eliminate them should they not be," she said, making her way to the door just as Luna spoke up.
"I shall come too, sister," she said getting up. "And I am quite certain the Elements will as well to protect their homes."
"Luna, I'm glad you wish to help, but this may be too dangerous for the others," Celestia said, turning around.
"We still want to come and help, princess," Rainbow said. "Me, especially." Rainbow had, in honor of her friends, asked Celestia to start a guard regiment, the gem dusk guard, as they had been called, and she had become the captain of that group a year after it's creation, two years after what had prompted her to ask for it's creation, Spike being her second in command. The others, who had stayed in the trades they were in six years ago, nodded, a threat to their homes and friends breaking them out of their sadness, for the time being.
Celestia knew she wouldn't be able to bring them off their decision, so she sighed and said, "Then prepare," before she lit her horn, and they all disappeared.
The seven of them appeared at the edge of the town. Celestia looked up, and was astonished to see that the meteor seemed to be speeding up. In an effort to save what ever was on them, she reached her magic out to grab the meteors, the task nearly draining her strength due to the energy needed to safely stop them for those on board. Once they had been slowed, Celestia used her magic to teleport the objects down in front of them.
The objects were somewhat similar in shape, but had different colors. The first had a steel gray color to it, with a t shaped window at the front, Celestia being unable to see inside of it, with four protrusion that ended in squares coming from the top.
The second was much smoother, and had a dark purplish color, and there were two, small, blue lights coming from the side, and had a small hexagon pattern all over and a spiked bottom.
Celestia set the two objects down on their backs, what she assumed were the fronts pointed up wards and at a slight angle. Just after, the six ponies and one dragon heard a hiss from both objects, only for the top side of each to fly off at incredible speeds, smoke pouring from the inside of both.
Even though she doubted they understood her language, Celestia spoke to whatever might have been inside, saying, "Are you alright?"
She thought she heard something, but wasn't sure, just before two pony like figures, each in different armor, sat up from the objects, each with a horn and an odd tool in their magical grasp. The one from the first had on white armor, the helmet having a purple stripe down the middle that went to just above the view plate, which was colored a light blue, the strange armor having purple highlights, with the armor overall having a somewhat blockish look and some burn marks across its surface.
The second was more organic, like the object it stepped out of. The armor had a view plate that took up more of the face and some of the being's side features. If one looked closely, they could see small figures scrolling across the inside. The color was a familiar lavender with the accenting colors being a fuchsia color, with the helmets on both having a protrusion that fir a unicorn horn perfectly, while the second one also had armored wings.
The two of them looked at the two monarchs, four Elements, and one dragon, and seemed to freeze up.
Rainbow stepped up. "Who are you two, and why are you here?" she asked before Celestia pulled her back.
"Rainbow, this is first contact," she said sternly. "That's no way to treat new allies.
"More like old friends that were on a long trip, Celestia," the second said in a somewhat smug tone, and in a familiar voice, which caused all of the others to freeze.
"Twilight," Celestia whispered in shock, not believing her ears, "is that you?"
The second figure took off her helmet, revealing none other then Twilight Sparkle. She looked much the same, with the exception that she looked, for lack of a better term, more rugged, and even had a small scar above her right eye, her mane cut short and a part of her left ear missing. "Hey, girls," she said. "So, miss me?" she asked before she was tackled by the other four Elements and one dragon.
"TWILIGHT!" they yelled in happiness that their old friend had returned. "Wait a minute," Rainbow said after ten seconds. "Does that mean the other one's-" she asked, trailing off.
"Indeed it does, darling," Rarity said as she took off her helmet and put her, if Celestia had to guess at what it was, weapon on her back, Twilight's having fallen to the ground when she was tackled. Rarity looked similar to Twilight, her mane cut short, something that surprised her friends, and she too had a scar, only this one went from just above her left eye to below it, a glow coming from her left eye. "We're back."
"What happened to you two," Spike asked.
"Oh, oh, did you meet some aliens from two different sides of a war that had been going on for years, and you ended up on two different sides, and had to fight each other a few times before both sides reached a peace agreement?" Pinkie asked in her usual bubbly attitude, to which both mares chuckled.
"Long story, Pinkie," Twilight said.
"Well, we got time," Rainbow said. "So, how about you start from when Rarity went missing?"
"We were going to," Rarity said. "If the rest of you want to listen, that is?"
"I know I wish to know what happened to the both of you over the past six years, including your armor," Luna said.
"As do I, Rarity," Celestia asked as she and her sister sat down, followed by the others.
"Guess I should start, then," Rarity said, and she began the tale.
Today had been a good day for Rarity. She had woken up, fixed her mane and tail, fixed breakfast for herself and her sister, Sweetie Belle, and had gotten another order from Sapphire Shores. One thing she needed, though, was Twilight's help, as the order included a special spell that would have the outfit shimmer as if in water.
The white unicorn was currently making her way to Twilight's crystal castle. Along the way there, she saw the local mailmare, Muffins, though everypony called her Derpy in a friendly way, making her way to Rainbow's cloud home. She raised a hoof in greeting, and Derpy returned it before continuing on her way. What a lovely day, Rarity thought to herself as she reached the main door way of the castle.
She knocked on the door, quickly recieving a loud, "Coming!" The door opened, nd Spike, Twilight's assistant, stood there. As his mind registered who was there, his face took on a happy, dream like look. "Oh, hey, Rarity," he said in a trance like way, which Rarity didn't notice. "What're you up to?"
"Hello, Spike," Rarity said. "Is Twilight home?"
"Uh-huh," Spike said, not hearing Rarity, or at least hearing something different.
"May I come in," the fashionista asked, to which she got a nod in return from the baby dragon. The white unicorn walked in, and began to make her way to the throne room, Spike floating behind her, a dreamy smile on his face. She made it to the door way, and opened it. "Hello, Twilight," she said before a large flash of light filled her vision, and then black.
It had been a bad day for Twilight. She had woken up to Spike delivering a message from Celestia, who asked Twilight to research long distance teleportation spells. She had set up her lab in the throne room, complete with magic analyzers, devices which would measure the strength of a spell, and special crystals from the Crystal Empire that would enhance certain spells, and asked Spike to make sure nopony interupted her.
Her first few tries at making the spell work, which used a small amount of the crystals, all failed. She then thought of combining multiple crystal types, which, she had to admit, though dangerous, got results, and could be easily maintained if the caster had a high magical talent and concentration.
About noon, six hours after she began to increase the crystal size, which, true to her previous findings, increased the strength of the spells. She was in the middle of trying it with a fifty-fifty ratio of large crystals to small when she heard, "Hello, Twilight," which made her jump in surprise and look at the source of the noise, which caused he rto lose concentration of holding the spell in, which sent a beam of lavender light in the direction she was facing.
That's to say, its path was on a course with Rarity, who was hit almost instantly, and vanished in a bright flash of light, leaving no trace of the unicorn, not even a pile of ashes.
"Oh no," Twilight said. "I knew I should have locked the door," she said in a panic. "Spike, get the others." Spike didn't hear her, only looked around, looking for Rarity. "Spike!" Twilight yelled, which got the young drake's attention. "Get the others, then get a letter to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. I won't be able to handle this by myself."
Spike saluted. "You got it, Twi," he said, and he rushed off to get the others, leaving Twilight panicking and putting her equipment away, hoping that wherever Rarity was, she was okay.
UNSC colony world Shakespeare
August 27, 2550; 17:50
Mass evacuation in progress
Today was absolute crap for Staff sergeant Jacob Harken of the UNSC Marine Corps. To start off with, he had been woken from Cryosleep, which is uncomfortable in and of itself, let alone being quick thawed. The ship he had been assigned to, the UNSC Antieatam, named for one of the bloodiest battles in the American civil war of the mid-1800s, had been sent to this colony after receiving word of a small Covenant force enroute there. Small being in the numbers, not the tonage. The "small" force actually had three covenant destroyers and a single carrier, which was a match for at least a hundred UNSC ships, what with their shields and plasma rounds. Shakespeare had only three destroyers, six support frigates, and a single MAC gun.
The reason why a colony like Shakespeare, which had little natural rescources and a small population, was because of the prototype weapons.
Currently, Jacob and his squad of five, originally ten that had lost five to Covenant forces after landing, were pinned in an old warehouse by snipers. Their job as to ensure as many non-combatants got away from the planet with a UNSC fleet distracting the Covenant forces. Jacob himself was in cover behind a crate, his MA5B rifle down but ready and an M6D pistol on his thigh. He himself was an average height guy with tanned skin and dark hair, with deep blue eyes, and a small scar on his upper lip from when he fell on a staple as a kid.
"Bishop," he said to one of his squadmates, a petite young woman with short, blonde hair and brown eyes with a BR55 in her hands, "what's the status of the evacuation?"
"As good as it can be, given the circumstances, sir," she replied. "But HIGHCOM just radioed everyone: they want us to start evacuating too."
"Great," Tony, another member of Jacob's team with short, dark hair, brown eyes, and an admittedly somewhat handsome face, but a smile that wouldn't be out of place on the Joker sometimes and an MA37 in his hands, said. "So, we're gonna die, regardless of what we do?"
"Probably," Jacob agreed, to which Tony groaned just as one of the Jackal snipers took a pot shot wit his carbine, the shot hitting their cover. "Damn it. Too bad we don't have a flash bang. Hell, I'd settle with smoke."
"Amen to that," Josh, the fourth member of the squad with short, brown hair, green eyes, a pale complexion, and a slight, boyish appearance, but by no means was he young, he was in his mid thirties, with an MA5C rifle in his hands. "And I'm atheist, so you know it's bad if I say that."
"No duh, Josh," Patrick, the fifth and final member of the squad said. He had a similar complexion to Josh, but was a bit taller, Josh being at 5' 4", him being at around 6' even, and had slightly longer brown hair, with brown eyes. He had an M90 shotgun in his hands, and a sniper on his back.
"So, any ideas how we get out of here?" Bishop asked.
"Nope," was the collective response just as the five of them and the two snipers pinning them down saw a bright flash, which blinded the Jackals for a few minutes due to the intensity.
"Now," Jacob said. "Move it, Marines!" The five of them brought their weapons to bear, and got out of their cover and began to move to the main door. "Bishop, take 'em down."
"Copy," she said as she fired off two bursts with her battle rifle, each killing one of the snipers. "Clear."
"Understood," Jacob said. "Move out."
"Hold up, guys," Josh said as he passed by where the light originated. "Got something here." He knelt down on the floor next to what he partially recognized as a horse from reading old stories and looking at pictures taken while the species existed, but with a white coat, a purple, curled mane and tail, three pictures of diamond designed rhombus' on her flank, and a horn from the head. He assumed it was a she from the mane and tail style, as well as the clearly obvious, to him, anyway, fake eyelashes.
"What is it," Tony said as the four walked up to where Josh was and saw the creature.
"Well, it looks like a horse from Earth, but the horn makes me think it's a unicorn," Josh said. "Think we should bring it with us? Might be something ONI cooked up."
"Better safe then sorry," Jacob said. "You're in charge of it, Josh. Carry it to the pickup zone. We'll cover you."
Josh nodded and put his rifle on his back. "Copy that," he said as he picked up the tiny horse, which wieghed little, and put her in a fireman's carry position.
"Bishop, call for evac," Jacob said.
"Right," Bishop said as she put a hand on her helmet. "Command, this is Diamondback squad, requesting Evac. Be advised, we have potential important cargo, no idea what it is, but we think it's ONI. . . Understood." She put her hand back on her battle rifle. "Pelican's inbound, five minutes. Taking us straight to the ship."
"Copy," Jacob said. "Move it, Diamondback." With that, the five humans, one carrying a pony, made their way outside, where, fortunately, there were no nearby Covenant forces. About two minutes into their wait, the pony began to stir.
"Guys, she's waking up," Josh said as he laid her down carefully on the ground.
"Oh, my head," the pony said, confirming Josh's suspicion as to gender from how her voice sounded, as she rubbed her head. "Where am I?" she asked as she opened her eyes. "Who are you?"
"We're UNSC Marines, Miss. . .," Jacob said.
"Rarity," Rarity said. "What's the UNSC?"
"Later, when we have more time, Miss Rarity," Bishop said. "As for where we are, we're on one of our colony worlds, which is in the middle of evacuation. You'll find out what from soon," she said as the Pelican came into view. "But if you want to live, you'll need to come with us. It's not a threat, it's a fact."
"Um, right," Rarity said. "Would you mind helping me? I still can't feel my hind legs."
"On it," Jacob said as he out his rifle on his back and picked Rarity up like a cat just as the Pelican landed and the ramp lowered. "Move it, Diamondback," he said, and the six of them boarded the dropship, which lifted off and made it's way up to the ship.
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Not a bad beginning but the fact that Rarity just spoke and in English should be commented on, even if they think ONI cooked her up.
6440459 Agree, also Rarity doesn't seems particularly surprised to be in a warzone in an unknown place, surrounded by strange creatures.
6440466 maybe she is in some kinda shock from the spell or something
i dunno...
6440459 maybe they just thought that if ONI made her, it would be logical for her to speak in english since most people -soldier or civilian- seem to speak it or atleast understand it or am i over thinking this
....
Good start!
First contact went too smooth. Characters are lacking in emotions. You should rework the 1st chapter.
Miss Rarity? When did they found her name? Miss Unicorn would be more correct in this situation.
Unless she had saddle bags on her with her name written somewhere. In English.
6441272 I don't expect her to notice war zone around with waking up being in forefront of her mind. Plus, not working legs do add some panic.
Ah, the common "idiot Celestia". One who both asumes she will win despite All villains thus far having defeated her, and assumes that killing the hostiles would not result in their clearly vastly more advanced society launching an orbital bombardment.
6477324 she told them her name...
Hmmmm.... I shall continue reading, and see where this goes....
It's small things like this that make me think that the story might have a problem later down the line. This right here requires so many questions.
How can they detect life forms on meteors? How do they not know what to do? Don't they have procedures in place to take care of problems without the princesses' authority every time? They have a lot to do as diarchs so they have to allocate responsibilities to other people. Why do they think it's meteors? Don't they think it's odd that a barren hunk of rock and metal has life on it? Wouldn't that by consequence prove it's not a meteor? Does that mean their Sense Life, a level one wizard spell, is so good that they can detect soil bacteria or something?
This is one of the few situations where saying it is magic is the better alternative. Considering Luna has the ability to change the heavens themselves, she or a disciple of hers would be able to detect a meteoroid-like body that shouldn't be there.
I know I already posted, but this stood out at me re-reading ('cus I only read the first chapter before so, re-reading-ish). Usually, UNSC ships need to outnumber their Covenant equivalents three-to-one. This changed after the invention of the Keyes loop and other adaptive tactics managed to turn things around. Of course, just because the UNSC was later able to actually kill more Covvie ships than they lost did not change the fact they were badly outnumbered by the Covenant Navy. Let alone on the ground. Fortunately, the Covenant sucks at warfare so ground combat usually resulted in a UNSC victory...followed by glassing.
Really, they should have just focused on ground-based superMACs and other surface-to-space weapons capable of killing covvie ships. A large number of MACs powerful enough to quickly kill a Covenant ship but not so much complete overkill as a superMAC would be cheaper and could be built in greater numbers in a shorter time. The most important strategic reason, though, is to force the Covenant into ground campaigns. They cannot glass until they clear the threats to their ships. But they usually lose on the ground. This would force the Covenant into suicidal attacks the humans are almost guaranteed to win and any victory the Covenant has would become enormously Pyrrhic. Or they could just replace ship MACs with giant Spartan Lasers. But that would be easy so it is clearly not allowed.
Subtle with foreshadowing, Pinkie pie is not.
great plot and world building that got trashed by horrible writing and story execution.