Pinkie Pie Stares At A Rock

by derpyland

The Chapter With Pinkie And The Rock

Author's Note:

Recently I wondered, what is the most boring story idea I could possibly come up with? Then it hit me, all at once: Pinkie staring at a rock. (Coming in as honorable mentions were “Twilight Organizes Her Books” and “Rarity Picks A Fabric Color”. Let me know if you're dying to read those.) I just knew I had to write that story and see if I could find a way to make it interesting, fun, and readable. I have spent 20 years trying to come up with the most intriguing story ideas imaginable. Just once I decided to go as far in the other direction as possible and see what happened. So here it is, in all its glory: Pinkie Pie stares at a rock. Enjoy! (For the record, this entire story was written and edited in less than 2 hours. It was a fun challenge.)

It was an ugly, nasty kind of day. The weather pegasi had scheduled a torrential downpour for that morning, afternoon, and night, and all the ponies who had any sense about them planned on spending the day indoors. After all, pony homes were quite comfortable – especially compared to the terrible, awful weather that was going to be taking place outside.

Now, it wasn't going to be cold; that wasn't the problem. But it was going to be hot, and humid, and oh so wet. The skies would be completely overcast, of course, and the rain would come down in absolute torrents. Anything that was caught outside would be drenched in a matter of seconds. It was going to get positively horrid out there.

So the ponies of Ponyville decided to spend the day indoors, tending to their homes. There were chores to do, and games to play, and (if your name was Twilight Sparkle) books to organize on shelves. There was plenty enough to keep everypony busy.

Everypony, that is, except for Pinkie Pie. Now, under normal circumstances Pinkie would have been just fine with staying indoors. She worked in a bakery, after all, and there were all sorts of great things to do in a bakery! There were cakes to make, and Cake children to play with, and icing to ingest – wonderful, delicious icing. The bakery was a source of endless wonder for Pinkie. Really, just about anything was a source of wonder for her. She was the sort of pony who could make friends with just about anypony.

And that was the source of the problem. It had been three whole days since Pinkie had made a new friend, and it was grating on her. Three whole days! Why, it was terrible – just terrible. Pinkie knew there just had to be other ponies out there that she hadn't met yet – there just had to be! Ponyville had always been a good-sized city, but ever since Twilight's castle had magically sprouted out of the ground its importance had become, well, even more so. This was pretty awesome news, because it meant that royal delegations from faraway lands came into town practically every other week. True, they were sometimes irritable and hard to please (I'm looking at you, you yakkity yakks), but they were at least new – and that meant the opportunity to make new friends.

Except that it had been three whole days, and no new friends. So that just wasn't going to work. Pinkie was absolutely, positively determined that today she was going to meet somepony new and make a new friend, no matter what. No rain or snow or gloom of night was going to stop her. She didn't care how hard it was raining; she was going to go out there and get the job done.

Now, an ordinary pony would have realized that all of the citizens of the city were indoors, and therefore would have gone to some place, well, indoors to meet someone new. But Pinkie Pie was no ordinary pony. There were a lot of things you could call her, but 'ordinary' was not one of them. No, she decided to do what she did best: head out into the world and make a new friend. She wasn't going to let a little thing like a blinding torrential downpour bother her! Not a chance.

So that is how it came about that Pinkie Pie stepped outside the comfortable, homey delights of Sugarcube Corner and out into a terrible rainstorm. Pinkie was drenched to her skin before she even made it across the street, but she didn't care. She was on a mission, and that was all that mattered.

Pinkie Pie cheerfully wandered through the streets. “Hello, everypony!” she shouted at no one in particular. She pranced down the sidewalk and waved a hoof at a house as she went by. “Hey there, Carrot Top! How's life going today?”

A yellow face with an orange mane peered out the window. Her eyes widened in disbelief when she saw there was somepony crazy enough to be out in the rain. Then she shook her head, as if in resignation, and waved back at Pinkie.

“Nice to see you too!” Pinkie called back. “Say hi to your mother for me!” Pinkie was pleased. Carrot Top may have no idea what Pinkie was doing out in the rain, but her day had been brightened – and that's what Pinkie was all about.

* * * * *

As Pinkie wandered through the city (as the rain poured out of the sky and created streams that flowed down the street), she noticed that there weren't very many other living creatures running around. Sure, she saw flower pots and streetlights and houses and cobblestones and an abandoned fruit stand – and even a bridge – but nothing that was alive that she could talk to. It really was just Pinkie and the wide, wide world of Equestria. The two of them were alone together, with only the rain as company.

“Hmmmm,” Pinkie said aloud. “This is a problem – yes, it's a problem all right! If Twilight were here she would solve it. And how would she solve it? By sitting down and thinking about it. So, since there's no Twilight, let's sit down and do some thinking!”

So Pinkie sat down on the ground. The rain took no notice of her; it kept falling. Pinikie was long past being drenched; water ran down her face and off her coat, and collected in a pool where she was sitting. She ignored the rain and just stared into the distance. The harder it rained the harder she thought.

“The problem,” she said thoughtfully, “is that there aren't any ponies around to make friends with. So, since I want to make a friend, that means I have to make a friend with someone who isn't a pony. And since there aren't any living creatures around, that means I have to make friends with something else!”

Pinkie grinned. “That's it! I'll make an entirely new type of friend. I'll pick – hmmm, let's see. Who out there is looking all sad and lonely today?”

The pink party pony took a careful look around. It was difficult to see very far, because the rain was falling so hard that she couldn't see more than a few feet in front of her. In the distance she knew there were some houses. “Houses are nice, but they're not really friend material, you know?” Pinkie said aloud (just in case there was an invisible pony nearby who wanted to know what was going on). “For one thing, you can't invite them over to parties. You can have a party in them, but that's really not the same thing. Houses also can't go on adventures with you or anything. Nope. Sorry, Mister House, but I think I'll have to keep looking.”

To her right, a few feet away, was a black metal lamppost. “Interesting, but not needy enough,” she decided. “Lots of ponies gather around that lamppost at night and talk to each other. I bet the lamppost has all sorts of friends! It probably hears all the latest gossip – and then there's all the crime and burglaries and stuff it witnesses late at night when nopony is around. Yup, I bet that is one well-informed nightlight! Wow. I guess I really should talk to it more.”

“Same goes for that mailbox,” Pinkie decided. “It's always getting mail. And what is mail? Why, it's messages, of course! Fabulous, exciting messages from all over Equestria. There's just no way a mailbox could ever get lonely – unless it didn't get any mail, which would be really super sad. But I bet that particular mailbox gets all kinds of mail. After all, it belongs to Vinyl Scratch, and she's one of the most popular musicians in the country. Even though she doesn't really say a whole lot, her music sure does. So that's out.”

Pinkie kept looking around. “A bridge – nope, not mobile enough to take on trips. A flower pot – interesting, but not really what I'm looking for.”

Then Pinkie spied a small rock sitting in the middle of a mud puddle. Rain poured off of its irregular, rough surface as it sat there, looking dejected and alone. “Now there is someone who looks like he needs a friend! Just look at how lonely that poor rock is. I bet that rock doesn't have a single friend in the whole world. Do you, you little guy?”

Pinkie reached out into the mud and gently picked up the rock. It wasn't very heavy – just a few ounces, at most. It was sort of roundish (rock shapes are such a pain to describe!) and had a rough texture to it. The rock was also very dirty. Just holding it got mud all over Pinkie's hooves – but she didn't care. She had found what she was looking for.

Pinkie held the rock in her two front hooves and stared at it. By now the puddle she was sitting in had grown fairly large, but she wasn't concerned. Mud puddles were one of her favorite things. Jumping in them was just plain fun – the fun kind of fun that comes with summer. Dirt may frighten delicate ponies like Rarity, but Pinkie was brought up on a rock farm. She knew all about dirt.

“I should have thought of this years ago,” Pinkie told the rock, as she tried to stare deep into its soul. “After all, Maud befriended a rock and has had all sorts of fun! I don't know why I didn't think of it too.”

She paused for a moment. “Well, I guess maybe I did think of it, once. There was that one time when I thought all my friends had abandoned me, and I got really mad and replaced them with other friends – some turnips, a sack of flower, and some rocks. So I guess I did have a rock friend once. But my therapist said that rock friend was really super unhealthy. I think he'll be ok with you, though, Mister Rock. You're nothing like those awful turnips, are you? I can tell that you have really good manners.”

Pinkie Pie continued to stare at the rock. “You really don't talk much, do you? But that's ok. Applejack once told me that I talk enough for five ponies! That was really nice of her, wasn't it? She's such a wonderful friend – I can't wait for you to meet her. I'll have to introduce you to her, won't I? And I don't even know your name! I don't suppose you could tell me your name, could you?”

Pinkie Pie held the rock up to her eye and looked at it closely. “I'm going to guess that you are not a talking rock. I think we can work through that problem, though. After all, we're friends! Now, if Maud were here I bet she could tell me what kind of rock you are. For now I'm just going to go with 'greyish', since you're kind of gray. But I still need a good name for you, don't I?”

Pinkie Pie thought for a few moments. “Names can be kind of tricky, if you think about it. Usually your friends make it simple by just telling you what their name is. When I found my pet alligator, though, he didn't have a name. So I just called him Gummy because he didn't have any teeth. I don't think you have teeth either, Mister Rock, but I can't call you Gummy. That name has already been taken. Besides, you don't have gums either.”

In the house behind Pinkie, the party pony Vinyl Scratch opened her curtains and peeked outside. She saw Pinkie sitting out in the rain, soaking wet, talking to a rock. Vinyl smiled and went back to her music. As long as no monsters were setting the town on fire (which, admittedly, would have been tricky to do in the rain) or trying to eat the buildings, she was pretty content. When you lived in Ponyville you kind of just had to roll with it – and if Pinkie found it necessary to talk to a rock in the rain then so be it. Good for her.

Pinkie finally made her decision. “I've got it! I'm going to call you Bob. Bob is a wonderful name – it's fun to say and it's easy to remember. Believe it or not, there's not a single pony in all of Ponyville with that name! Somehow all of our names always seem to relate to what we do or who we are. Luna raises the moon. Celestia manages celestial bodies. Rainbow Dash makes rainbows and dashes around. Fluttershy is a terrible flyer – she just kind of flutters, really – and she is super duper shy. It's kind of an amazing coincidence, isn't it, Bob?”

Bob said nothing. Bob, it seemed, was a good listener.

Pinkie Pie frowned. “You don't suppose a pony's name is linked to their destiny, do you? If you name a young filly 'Rainbow', does that mean the pony will have something to do with rainbows? If that's the case, it was really mean to name that one pony 'Derpy'. Somepony had to know that wasn't going to turn out well.”

Pinkie held the rock high in the air. “Do you see all that, Bob? That is Ponyville! I bet you had a pretty terrible view of the city, lying on the ground and all. You probably couldn't see much of anything. But I think those days are behind you. From now on you and me are friends – got it? And do I ever have great things planned for you! Why, as soon as this rainstorm is over I'm going to throw a 'Meet My New Rock Friend' party and will invite everyone over. You're going to love all my friends! I have hundreds and hundreds of them. They're the best!”

(For the record, later that week Pinkie did indeed throw that party. The entire town showed up, expecting to meet some new up-and-coming rock star. They were quite astonished to find out that Bob didn't actually play any instruments.)

Pinkie Pie spent several hours talking to Bob. She told Bob her life story, and about the many adventures she'd had and the many cupcakes she'd eaten. Some of the baked goods she'd consumed in her happy life had been quite good, and others – well, they had been quite bad. But Bob was quite understanding of it all. He simply sat quietly and took it all in.

All at once it stopped raining – but only where she was sitting. All around her the rain continued to pour down to the ground in sheets, but no rain fell on her. “Look at that Bob!” Pinkie exclaimed. “That is what you call an interesting development. I wonder what's going on?”

Pinkie looked up and saw that a hole had appeared in the sky. A blue pegasus with a rainbow-colored mane was staring down at her. She had an exasperated look on her face.

“Hey there Rainbow!” Pinkie called out. “Whatcha doin'?”

“The question is what are you doing?” Rainbow Dash said. “Don't you realize it's raining? You do see all the rain, right? Why in Equestria are you sitting out here in a puddle getting soaked to your skin? Is there some kind of emergency or something?”

“Nope, no emergency. Well, not exactly, anyway. I was just looking for a new friend and look – I found one!” Pinkie triumphantly held up a rock. “See? I've named him Bob. He's pretty cool, actually.”

Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “How long have you been sitting out here, in the rain, staring at that rock?”

“I've been doing so much more than just staring at him, silly! We've been having a super great conversation. Only I guess I have been staring at him too. I hope Bob didn't mind.” Pinkie examined the rock closely. “Nope. I don't think he minded. He's pretty understanding for a rock.”

“Of all the–” Rainbow Dash began, and then stopped. “I don't even know how to respond to that. The point is, it's going to keep on raining all day long, and it is really not a good idea for you to be out here. You could get sick or something.”

“Is that how disease works?” Pinkie asked. “Because I thought disease came from germs. I'm pretty sure Twilight told me you couldn't get sick just from playing out in the rain. If that was true then all the animals in the world would be sick all the time, because most animals don't live in houses the way we do! Twilight actually worries about things like that, you know. She probably has a book on it somewhere.”

“You don't see Twilight out here in the rain, do you?” Rainbow asked. “If all the smart ponies are inside, where it is not raining, then that's probably the right place to be. Can't you and your happy little rock go inside and dry off or something? You really worry me sometimes, Pinkie.”

“I guess we can,” Pinkie said cheerfully. “After all, I got what I came for! I found a friend and made somepony smile. My job here is done.”

“Rock's can't smile,” Rainbow Dash called out. “I'm pretty sure about that.”

“Don't listen to him, Bob,” Pinkie said quickly. “Rainbow just hasn't had a chance to get to know you yet. C'mon – let's go home.”

So, while Rainbow Dash watched over them to make sure that no disasters struck, Pinkie Pie and Bob made their way through the torrential rain and back to the warmth of Sugarcube Corner. It took Pinkie an hour to dry off and get her mane back in shape, but she didn't mind. She had found a new friend.

Rainbow Dash, for her part, didn't know what to make of Bob. “Maybe it's just a Pie thing,” she decided at last, as she closed the gap in the clouds. “They were all rock farmers, right? I think they even ate rocks as candy. I still say it's kinda weird, but hey – this is Ponyville. Weird is the new normal. Am I right?”

She was right. Even Bob had to agree with that.

Comments

[Flutternight]

I have to agree with that too. This is normal for Pinkie Pie as well as being an enjoyable story.

[derpyland]

6451507

Thanks - I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

[Flutternight]

6453278 You're welcome.

[Celefin]

This was... well. Something else, certainly. Have a green thumb ;)

Rarity Picks A Fabric Color

Yes please. That sounds exhilarating, unlike Twilight's books. That one has been done too often already, albeit mostly unintentionally boring. Unlike this one here. Which I still find strange. Seriously.

[derpyland]

6473694

Thanks for the green thumb! Awesome. I'm glad you enjoyed the tale!

I had no idea stories had already been written about Twilight organizing her books. (Clearly I've been missing out.) Very well, then; I will begin planning the epic tale of Rarity and her color choice. Let the stylish and classy fun begin!