Hollow Pain, Yo
Picky Pepper liked to think of herself as patient, considerate, and compassionate. For Canterlot, at least. Holding a door open for somepony in this town meant an hour spent playing doorpony while the actual doorpony gave you the stink-eye. So, when confronted with something that was very clearly not a Princess Dress, she handled it with typical Canterlot compassion.
"I want the dress to be exactly like the one Princess Twilight wore. Understand?" There. Clear, concise, no room for misunderstandings or unrequested alterations. Picky even held up a magazine as a visual aid, in case the dresses filling the boutique weren't enough of a hint.
The seamstress wilted. "Yes... Y-Yes, of course." She turned and walked back into the workroom, faint music and the off-model dress trailing in her wake.
Picky rolled her eyes. Really, that mare shouldn't have been working in Canterlot if she started a sad musical number just because the customer wanted what she'd actually ordered.
Sassy Saddles zipped to Picky's side, glaring at her errant employee. "I am so sorry, Miss. I've dealt with these artistic temperaments before. They never seem to have any idea of what we do here." Sassy smiled. "One thing I will say for her is that she's very productive. As you can see, we have quite a few Princess Dresses awaiting pickup." She eyed Picky carefully and nodded to herself. "I believe we have one in your size."
Picky practically pranced in place. "Really? It's okay?"
Sassy nodded. "But of course. After all, if they're identical, who's to say which one was yours and which was somepony else's?" Her horn lit up, and one of the displayed dresses floated to Picky's side. "There will, of course, be a small service charge, but—"
Picky practically threw her money at the other unicorn. "Worth every cent!" She took the dress in her own magic, fighting the urge to hug it to her chest and wrinkle it. "Can I use your changing room?"
"But of course."
Putting on the dress was a little harder than it needed to be. Picky just couldn't keep herself from shaking in her excitement. Eventually, she swanned her way out and did a little twirl. "How do I look?"
"Radiantly regal," said Sassy.
Picky bit back her cheer. Yes. Regal. No schoolfilly gushing for her; she was an exquisite, regal mare, and she would comport herself as one. She gave a measured nod. "Thank you again, Miss Saddles."
Sassy smiled. "Thank you, Miss. Enjoy your Princess Dress."
"Oh, I shall." Picky put her nose into the air and called on all the grace she could dredge up from half-remembered dressage classes as she made her exit.
Once she was outside, she took in the crowds, and they her. Both saw the status symbol and silently acknowledged that here was a mare who moved in a better sort of herd. Picky moved into the street traffic, confident in the knowledge that she had what was hot.
The next day, the first full day wearing the Princess Dress, saw Picky showcasing it on a walk to nowhere in particular.
"Ooh! Picky! Over here!"
The call broke her out of her haze of self-satisfaction. A few unicorn mares stood in front of a house that had seen better days, and one of them—Twinkleshine, a coworker—was waving at her.
Picky smiled and strutted towards the group. "Hey, Twinkle."
"Girls," Twinkleshine said to the group, "this is Picky Pepper, one of the restaurant critics for the Herald. We usually eat together at the big name places."
Picky nodded. "I focus on the food, Twinkle on who else is there."
"I've never understood the appeal of celebrity gossip," said a pale yellow mare. "Just because they're famous, that means we automatically have the right to know every intimate detail about them?" After a beat, she added, "Um, no offense."
Twinkleshine smiled and rolled her eyes. "I know what you meant, Moondancer."
Picky held back a growl at the lack of attention and struck a pose. "So? What do you think?"
"Never really understood fashion, either," said Moondancer. "A turtleneck's always been good enough for me." She shrugged. "I guess it looks good on you, though."
"I've been seeing a lot of those lately," said another yellow mare.
"It's the Princess Dress," said Picky. "Hottest thing from the new boutique in town."
"Oh, yeah, the one Twilight's friend runs!" cried the fourth, blue mare.
Picky's jaw dropped. "You mean one of the Princess's friends runs Canterlot Carousel!?"
This got several nods. "Rarity, Bearer of Generosity," said Moondancer. "Has her own throne in Namepending Castle and everything."
Picky scoffed. "Well, we'll see how generous she is when she finds out that one of her employees was trying to pass off her knock-offs to paying customers. You fillies won't believe what happened to me in there. I ordered a Princess Dress, and some seamstress tried to sell me some tweaked version I never asked for. Plastered gems all over it, probably to try and bump up the cost. Probably works on commission." She tossed her mane. "Some ponies, am I right?"
The blue mare tilted her head. "I thought Twilight said that the only ponies working at the boutique were Sassy Saddles and Rarity herself."
Picky shrugged. "Well, given how popular the place has become, they must have hired some extra hooves. I mean, they must have hundreds of orders." She paused for a moment. "Wait. You know Princess Twilight?"
"Sure," said Twinkleshine. "We go way back."
"Oh. Huh." Picky swallowed. She wasn't going to wow anypony around here. "Um, well, good seeing you, Twinkle. Nice meeting you all." She waved and left as quickly as she could pass off as casual.
The next day was just as wonderful, and far less awkward. A cleaning spell made sure the dress was looking just as fresh, though it did need a few hours for the sinus-clearing pepper smell to wear off. Once that was done, it was another great day of seeing and being seen, reveling in being in with the in crowd.
But by the third day, Picky found that the dress was starting to feel... ordinary.
She frowned in front of her bedroom mirror and sighed. "Well, if I'm going to wear it every day, then of course it's going to feel everyday."
Picky hung up the dress and set out, still confident in the knowledge that she could be wearing a Princess Dress. She just chose not to. And really, that felt even better. She was so with it, she didn't even need to show it.
Besides, she couldn't exactly spend a lot of time out and about that day. Deadlines were deadlines, and that article on molecular gastronomancy wasn't going to write itself.
But after all the carbonized kale and cunningly restructured soy protein Picky could stomach, her column was ready, and she could spend the next day rewarding herself with another walk about town.
It felt even better after waiting a day. Picky seemed to attract far more attention, wandering from plaza to plaza as regally as possible. Indeed, it felt like there weren't as many other Princess Dresses to distract from hers.
A lot fewer, actually.
Picky's pace slowed. Her ears folded back as she started to consider the looks she was getting. There wasn't much admiration there. A lot of raised eyebrows, some thin smiles that spoke of amusement at her expense, the occasional outright snicker, but little in the way of the wide-eyed awe and envy she'd been getting only two days before.
Her legs nearly locked up. It was all she could do to keep shuffling forward once the realization hit her. She wasn't part of the hot trend anymore. She'd... she'd gone cold.
A nearby scoff drew her attention. “Is she seriously still wearing the Princess Dress?”
Picky stopped in her tracks. She very carefully didn’t look at the source of that disdainful drawl, but her ears followed it as it walked by her.
“Oh, come on, Raven! It’s still a good look.”
“It was.”
They were behind her now. She gave it another moment, then looked. For a horrible moment, she thought Celestia and Luna themselves were judging her taste from on high. Realizing that it was just two mares in beautiful, different dresses just made it worse.
Still, maybe they could help. "Excuse me?" said Picky.
Mini-Celestia jolted and turned, a surprisingly sincere and sorry smile on her muzzle. "I am so sorry. My sister—"
"Was right," Picky admitted. She tried to laugh off her anxiety. Judging by how the sisters' ears folded, she did a terrible job of it. "It has gotten a little passe, hasn't it?"
"It has," said Mini-Luna.
Picky smiled, or at least bared her teeth. "I don't suppose you could tell me where you got those dresses?"
Mini-Celestia beamed. "Aren't they great? Who knew Canterlot Carousel had such a wide selection?"
Picky's heart had already been crushed. Now the wreckage burned with shame. "Oh. You don't say."
"That Rarity is a genius," said Mini-Luna. "She took the dark beauty of my innermost essence and expressed it in a form that almost justifies the ludicrousness of the fashion industry." She narrowed her eyes. "Almost."
"She totally earned that Cosmare cover!" Mini-Celestia produced a magazine and showed it to Picky.
The fires of shame were replaced by chill dread. Gazing at her from the cover of the fashion magazine was the very pony she'd told off for trying to pass off...
An original spin. An exclusive modification. "I need to go."
"Have a nice day!"
"Memento mori."
Picky galloped to Canterlot Carousel, dignity be banished. As she raced there, she couldn't help but notice all of the different designs, all of the styles that fit their wearers so well. The Princess Dress was conspicuous only in its absence.
She didn't crash through the doors. The last thing she needed was to make an even worse impression. She looked around. There were several customers and quite a few choices, but neither was her first priority.
"Welcome to... Oh." Sassy Saddles had apparently snuck up on her. Or she was so focused that she hadn't noticed. "I remember you."
Picky drooped. "Um, hi. Could I speak to Rarity? I owe her an apology."
Sassy shook her head. "I'm afraid Rarity is currently seeing to our main store in Ponyville. Still, I'll be sure to send her the message." She gave a sad smile. "I think you and I have both learned something since you last came here."
Picky's gaze dropped to the floor. "Yeah..."
Yellow light shone at the top of her vision. Picky brought her head up in time to see a Princess Dress in Sassy’s magic. After a moment, she realized that it was just a bit different. “That’s…” She blushed.
Sassy smiled. “I can guarantee you that it is a unique Rarity original.” She put a hoof to her chin. “Though given the alterations, I suppose it can’t really be called a Princess Dress. One might call it… ‘Reign in Stain.’”
Picky blinked. “I don’t get it.”
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I loved it!
It's just like Canterlot ponies to quickly get tired of the Last Big Thing. I always think of Trenderhoof as Canterlot's restaurant critic, or at least, that he started that way, but then he is probably recovering from his nervous breakdown.
Oh, God, you just know that they're into molecular food, too.
"Namepending Castle."
Namepending Castle. I like it.
A very nice story indeed. :3
HA turned that damn like bar green!
It's good to see the return of the Reign in Stain.
I really, really like this bit.
And I like this story.
Isn't her name Cayenne? Or is that her nickname?
6440435
I see Trenderhoof as a sort of first-world anthropologist. (Well, hippologist in Equestria, but you know what I mean.) He investigates and illuminates little-known bits of Equestrian society with all the wide-eyed investigative sincerity of a National Geographic correspondent in the depths of the Amazon. He probably did get his start as a Canterlot restaurant critic, but at this point, I think his star has risen to the point where he can get away with freelancing. You know, up until the nervous breakdown. It remains to be seen how much cultural cachet he'll have after that.
Plus, Canterlot seems like the sort of place that would have more than one newspaper.
6440668
Those two were quite fun to work with. I'm not sure if I could manage a whole story around their dynamic, but it's great for single scenes.
Good job, FanOfMostEverything
I adored the way you messed with Picky Pepper and karma :D Keep up the good work!
6440891
Yikes. Missed you in the earlier reply. In any case, the pony in question still seems to have two or three different possible names floating around her. Heck, in the episode's credits, she's just listed as "Fashionable Pony." So, with the matter still somewhat unsettled, I decided to go with my personal preference when fleshing her out.
6441122
Ok! If worst comes to worst, you can just imply that 'Cayenne' is her middle name.
In any case, it's a good story.
Sadly, no pickled peppers were picked. Maybe next time!
This shoulda totally been part of the episode, it's THAT good
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who likes the name Picky Pepper :3
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, I learned that karma is a thing.
Yours truly, Picky Pepper"
"waves" Hey Moondancer! :)
6441456 A peck of them!
6441456 6441732
There was an appetizer at the molecular gastronomancy place that consisted of brine crystals in an emulsified glaze of capsaicin and other pepper-derived flavor compounds. Picky described it as "enjoyably novel, but more of a salt cocktail than an appetizer."
6441649
"See, Luna? I told you that that open submission policy on friendship letters would be a good idea."
"The Bearers have grown past them, Celestia. You need to as well."
"I don't get to see their dreams. Let me have this."
6441773 Wow. I predicted that joke before you even wrote the story, and you still managed to slide it under my nose by obscuring it in enough sciency words.
eh.
6441966
See, the thing about "eh" is that doesn't give me anything to build on. Hence the term "constructive criticism." If you could tell me why it made you go "eh," what didn't work for you, that would be much more helpful.
6441970 That's the thing, it didn't do anything for me, but it didn't do anything against me. It's not that it wasn't fine...just not my kind 'o cuppa.
It's ...not as expansive as you usually are? I could see a full story in this, maybe. It may have been a bit short...Characters? No, they'd actually have to be expanded on in the show to be more than blank slates. See, actual criticism for this is hard.
6441982
Fair enough. Thanks for giving it a try.
6441999 mmhm. I try to try things. It was...an interesting diversion, I'd have to say.
*Dies*
I just got it, and you should be.
I feel like we're missing something here. Maybe "only in its absence."
Shouldn't it be was? That makes more sense to me.
Picky Pepper sure got herself into a persnickety pickle, eh?
I like how she slowly realized her mistake, and tried (horrendously) to keep up appearances. If any, I would comment on the ending, and the quick resolution that her mental conflict had. It seemed a little fast for something that affected Pepper so much to suddenly be turned about, I felt like she really didn't get to fully resolve her guilt over her treatment of Rarity, and likewise, Rarity's lack of recompense for her hard work. She does insist that she sees the moment a mare finds her dress and discovers her beauty quite often.
Of course, I was laughing too hard at the castle to really be bothered :B
A good look into the value of looking past the price tag and name. Some might even compare it to Rarity's Cutie story, (that someone being moi) and the emphasis on finding the diamond among the zirconium pile.
In the zirconium pile of fics, this one's a real gem! :V
Can someone please explain "Reign in Stain"?
6442207
It shouldn't be surprising that Picky Pepper prefers to partake from a particular palate.
I like to think that mini-Celestia and Mini-Luna are not actually Celestia and Luna in disguise but are instead children of a relation and the genetic lottery finally kicked in an resulted in siblings that looked like their older relations.
this is really, really, really, really good!
This, I think, is what would probably happen in the show because while the populace are aware of the Bearers, they don't really know what their names are or what they look like. I'm taken back to Ponyville Confidential and why Rarity touched off the apocalypse; as we saw, it delighted her that there was at least one news feed that wasn't boring facts and figures about issues that matter but was entertaining and lovely gossip and conjecture about the Idle Famous. I don't know about you but that tells me that we're dealing with a place that's officially gossip-hostile because the Big Boss doesn't much care for the end result.
6442164
Thanks for the fixes. I was in a bit of rush to get the story out while the character was still a bit relevant.
6442207
Sometimes, our own actions mean things don't work out the way we want them to. Plus, Picky is kind of shallow. Knowing that her apology will be passed along and having a new, hotter dress are a sufficient poultice for her soul.
The "Reign in Stain" is called such because, to quote Rarity and Fashion Plate, it's "inspired by the stained-glass window of a reigning princess." The name itself is a My Fair Lady reference. My apologies if you were trying to make a joke.
6442357
I didn't even go that far; I just figured they were very different ponies who just happened to be sisters. Except that one joke post I made on Derpibooru claiming that they fell into a time rift a week after Canterlot Carousel opened, grew wings, and emerged more than a thousand years in the past. If we never see them again, it's canon!
6442717
I don't know about that. Rarity only said that the Foal Free Press was better than the Ponyville Express. There's no telling what papers with better access to famous ponies might do, hence Twinkleshine's occupation in this story. Plus, there were masses of ponyrazzi in "Green Isn't Your Color" and, ugh, "The Mysterious Mare Do Well." (And unless Featherweight is a stealth operative on par with Solid Snake, the Big Boss probably allowed him to take the cake shot.)
But, yeah, it's clear that the Bearers aren't famous for being the Bearers. If there's one area where Celestia insists on a media blackout, it's rainbow friendship laser duties. Given all of the stained glass windows and Star Wars medal ceremonies, it's clear that's she's doing something to stymie their fame.
6443022 I think of it as being akin to how Booster Gold pretends to be a fame-seeking imbecile so that time travelers don't kill him as a child and thus stop him from saving people without their knowledge. Simply put, they're the greatest heroes history will never know.
6443022
I had a feeling it was a pop culture reference :V I knew the window part, but it had to have been something more by the way it keeps being referenced. No jokes intended, save the alliteration.
Shallow does indeed sum it up, and I was silly to not see it last night. I suppose I just wanted it to keep going, it ended before I knew it! :V
I was going to be itty but Scoots beat me too it. This is hilarious. I adore the pepper smell too.
"This story remind me of the time I brought ice cream while I had a toothache."
-Johnny Bravo
6443074
I suspect Twilight will make sure history remembers them, assuming they don't do it themselves for other accomplishments.
6444426
Thanks! I thought that would be a nice extra detail.
6448854 I can see Rarity and Rainbow Dash achieving fame but the other three seem destined for obscurity unless she does. We have an animal control officer, a baker's apprentice and a farmer. Stack them up against somepony who got to design for the Princess and the mare who did the Sonic Rainboom and we're looking at Footnote City.
Took two lungfuls of coffee while reading this.
First at
And then at
Thanks for that.
I call her Cayenne snaps
Namepending Castle is hilarious, and I will totally use it myself.
That moment where you realize that you've turned down your chance at an exclusive, one-of-a-kind dress (hoof-stitched by the owner herself, at that) in favor of an off-the-rack mass-produced number. I am glad to say I'm not stupid enough to know what that feels like.
And it's interesting to see the little touch where Sassy Saddles acts like Rarity is the employee, and she the employer. I am once again left to wonder how her resume does not burst into flames from being such a Liar McLiarpants.
Okay, but Picky Pepper is the worst name for a pony I think I've ever seen. D: And next you'll tell me that's her real name.
8868613
The community seems to have settled on "Cayenne," with an allowance made for "Pepper Step." Whether that's a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion.
8868655
Neither is good, fricking pun on Azula. :(
Huh. Was this fic the origin of Namepending Castle? If so, I feel like I'm reading a piece of history here.
Nice companion piece to the episode, from what I remember of it. Been a long time since I last rewatched it, but it works as an expansion of its themes and an alternative perspective.