Doctor Whooves and the Auton Invasion of Equestria

by The Minister of Scones

Part 5: If a Mare Seems Too Odd to Be True, She Probably Is

The late afternoon sun shone through the trees of a small wood near Luna's camp, spattering the forest floor with freckles of sunlight. The air was thick with the smell of tree bark and grass. Here and there, a rabbit would poke its head out of a hole, scamper across the ground a few paces, and dart into another. An elderly squirrel was arguing with his wife about where to bury the nuts. The pair of ponies walking through the woods were totally oblivious to all this, for they were engaged in heated discussion. They had started arguing at the camp, and had not stopped since – they were barely aware that they had entered the forest. On the left, Her Royal Highness Princess Luna of the Night. On the right, Professor Crater Mass, accomplished scientist and master spell-caster. They were about to stop arguing, however, having been distracted by something far more interesting. Just listen.

“With respect, if we don't contact Princess Celestia, she'll only be furious later.”

“Professor. If you say 'with respect' once more, you may consider yourself dismissed from your post.”

“I...”

“Shush!”

“What?”

“Be quiet! I can hear something...”

“I can't hear anything but birds, your majesty.”

“Not through my ears, Professor. Something out there is emitting a telepathic signal.” Luna's horn began to glow as she tuned into some strange psychic… stuff. Mass racked his brains, trying to come up with an appropriate spell. He seized on an obscure incantation he vaguely remembered from an old book, and cast it. He could almost… what was that? A strange, rhythmic regular noise, totally alien, but also somehow familiar. Could it be… sobbing? There was a definite loneliness to it, and fear, too. Looking around for the source of the 'noise', he realised that Luna had already begun to walk in its direction. He followed at once, breaking into a trot to keep up with Luna's long-legged stride. As they neared the source, Crater Mass realised that there was now a real noise accompanying the psychic feed. It was an electronic ringing. It sounded a little more familiar, as Crater Mass was used to being surrounded by all sorts of bizarre computers and other machines.

Finally the pair came upon a small crater. It was surrounded by leaves and twigs, as though something had smashed through the trees above it; a quick glance upward confirmed this theory. Both recognised the crater's creator, which was now its contents. It was vaguely spherical, about three hooves across, and pulsing with light. It was one of the meteorites they had been observing.

“My stars,” whispered Luna, “I was so engaged in our argument that I forgot all about why we had come.”

“You know, I know it sounds silly, but I get the oddest feeling that it's… alive, almost.”

“It is. I'm sure of it. We need help.” Luna straightened up from where she had been kneeling in front of the sphere. “We need to call UNIT.”

“UNIT?”

“A special branch of the armed forces set up to deal with alien...”

“I know who they are, your highness. I just wasn't aware they'd ever been used.”

“Oh, they have. Top secret, of course. We can't have just anypony knowing what a target this planet is.”

“You mean… this isn't the first time aliens have been here, is it?”

“Absolutely not. I hope someone there has an idea of what in Equestria this thing is.”

“I don't wish to criticize, your majesty, but… well, surely, with the Elements of Harmony already here, we could rely on them. Surely calling UNIT to the same town as you and the Elements is putting all our eggs in one basket.”

“What is your point, professor?”

“If anything were to happen, ma'am, Equestria would be left almost totally defenceless.” The professor glanced up at Luna. Was she… was she smiling?

“That, professor, is a risk I am willing to take.”

---

“And so,” finished Twilight, “my tests show conclusively that not only is this sphere of alien origin, but that it is also a living creature and...” she hung her head, “a source of pure energy.” The Doctor stood next to her, a wide 'told-you-so' grin on his face. “I firmly believe now that the Doctor was telling the truth.” The Doctor's grin widened. Around them, the ponies in the town-square went about there usual town-square business: shopping, talking, sitting and walking. Twilight gulped. She had some rather bad news for them. Before she told them, though, she wanted to see how her friends would react.

“Well, if Twilight believes him, that's good enough fer me.” Applejack beamed at the Doctor. “Sorry about earlier. Guess Ah wuz a bit too judgemental.”

“Quite all right, my dear. It's quite an honour to meet the legendary original bearers of the Elements of Harmony. I was in such a temper before that I didn't really appreciate you all stopping your work to come and listen to this old fool.” He gestured towards himself. “Thank you, all of you.”

“Old?” queried Rainbow Dash.

“Never mind that now.”

“I think we all owe the Doctor an apology,” insisted Rarity. The others nodded in agreement.

“All except me!” pointed out Pinkie.

“Well, we'll get to that later,” continued the Doctor. “We must collect as many energy units as possible before the Nestenes do.”

“Um… those are those sphere things, aren't they?”

“Quite right, Miss Fluttershy. I don't know how many they have, but they can't have many yet. After all, I would have come across one of the units before today if they'd been around for a while, wouldn't I?”

“But Doctor.” Fluttershy looked worried. “That was your first time walking through those woods. You'd only been around the house before then. You said you wanted somewhere nopony else ever went, and woods was all I could think of.”

“...Ah. Well, in that case, they could be nearly ready, I suppose. Ah. But they can't be ready to attack just yet. Otherwise, this would have alerted me.” He pulled out his sonic screwdriver, and gave it a tap. “All the same, can't hurt to do a quick scan.” He expertly manipulated the tiny controls. The screwdriver emitted its familiar buzzing noise. “Oh...”

“What is it?” asked Twilight.

“Looking at the energy being emitted, I'd say they only need one more.”

“What?” Looks of horror crossed the faces of the assembled ponies.

“Where are they?” asked Rarity, aghast.

“Can we stop them?” added Fluttershy.

“Well, the signal's strong enough, but I'd need a cross reference to get a fix on the location of their base. Give me a little while and I should be able to...” He was cut off mid-sentence by an unearthly “T-chok!” The stall behind him burst into flames, the owner flinging himself out of the blaze in the nick of time. “Run!” shouted the Doctor. Ponies all over the square erupted into panic. Mothers gathered up their children and bolted. Stallsponies abandoned their wares and fled. “You lot! Back to the castle!” They ran across the square, but found their way barred by an Auton. The other three streets were similarly blocked, but the Autons were not concerned by the townsponies. They seemed focused on the Doctor and his friends, and were pushing their way through the fleeing ponies towards them. Twilight lowered her head, and prepared to cast the most devastating offensive spell she could think of that wouldn't take half the town with it. A blast of purple-white energy caught the Auton squarely in the face. But instead of toppling to the ground, it seemed only to grow bigger.

“What? That should have blasted it to smithereens!”

“Oh, sorry, I should have said. They can absorb magical energy.”

“And you didn't think to mention it?”

“I said sorry, didn't I?” The Auton, crackling with energy, was raising its gun. Twilight realised that the full force of her attack was about to be directed straight back against her. Before it could fire, however, the Auton was engulfed in flame. Being made of plastic, it simply melted away into a puddle of yellowish goo. The ponies looked down at the flames' source to see Spike, smiling proudly.

“Guess magic ain't all that,” he grinned. Their triumph was shot lived, and Spike's congratulations interrupted. The other Autons were almost upon them, and the puddle was beginning to creep back into a solid form.

“Run,” shouted the Doctor, “before it reforms itself!” They didn't need telling twice. The four bolted down the streets of Ponyville. “Don't worry,” he gasped, “they can't run and shoot at us!” As he spoke, he noticed a quiet buzzing noise. Pulling out his screwdriver, he identified it as the source. “Oh, dear. They're at full power, now.”

“Do I want to know what that means?” groaned Twilight.

“Probably not very much,” admitted the Doctor.

“Oh, so it won't make a lot of difference?”

“No, I mean you don't want to know very much.”

Behind them, the lead Auton folded up its hoof gun, and began to chase at a gallop. The others followed suit. It spoke, its voice a hoarse croak.

switching to primary weapons system

Its muzzle fell away on a hinge, as its hoof had done. From behind it, a much larger gun extended, a couple of inches across. It fired once, and a whole cottage was engulfed in flame.

“This calls for serious action.” Twilight gritted her teeth. “Spike, mount up.”

“Right.” Spike jumped onto her back. “Are you planning what I think you're planning?”

“I hope so.” Twilight extended her wings and leapt into the air, flying a few inches above the ground. With a flash, she was gone. With another, she reappeared behind the four Autons. “Now!” Before the Autons could stop, Spike had let loose a torrent of flame. The mannequins simply collapsed in on themselves. Twilight teleported back to the others. “That should buy us some time.”

“Oh, well done!” The Doctor looked delighted. “An excellent display of lateral thinking, and...”

“Later, Doctor!”

“Ah, yes. Sorry.”

By the time the Autons had reformed, they were almost at the Friendship Castle. Rainbow dashed ahead and opened the doors. The friends ran inside, and Twilight summoned up her last reserves of energy to cast a protective bubble spell around the castle.

“That won't hold them for long,” the Doctor warned her.

“That's okay. We just need a little more time to figure out how to stop them.”

“What were those things, anyway?” Rainbow Dash was hovering above them, her forehooves folded.

“Autons, of course! Weren't you listening during my extremely interesting lecture?”

“Not really,” admitted the pegasus, “I was mostly just trying to come up with insults to use at the end.”

“Just a moment, there,” Applejack interrupted, “Ah don't want to sound silly at all, but weren't those an awful lot like tailors' dummies?”

“Oh, I knew that the whole time!” said Pinkie. “I… oh, I see what you mean.” She narrowed her eyes and peered at Rarity suspiciously. “Is there something you think you should tell us, Rarity?” She pulled out a magnifying glass and false moustache, which she proceeded to twirl.

“Don't be ridiculous, Pinkie.” Twilight trotted over and removed the moustache. “Nopony's saying Rarity has anything to do with this.”

“Well,” Rarity admitted, “I'm afraid that, for once, the stupid one is quite right.” Smiling, she raised a forehoof. With a buzz, the end fell away, revealing a weapon.

“Rarity?” Twilight stared in disbelief.

“Oh, no...” muttered the Doctor.

“Now then,” said the Nestene. “Backs against the wall, and no sudden moves, or I'll shoot whoever's next to you.” She smiled. “I think I'm going to enjoy this.”

Author's Note:

Next episode: The Autons Attack

Short chapter, I'm afraid. It would have gone on, but I like the cliffhanger, so there.