Chapter 38
I sank even further into the emblematic, comfortable, midnight blue plush chair. It served to stress how small I was to a comical degree, but the redeeming qualities prevailed. Those being comfort, comfort and comfort.
I looked around Luna's office; at the bookshelves filled with an odd mix of heavy ancient tomes and lighter modern hardbacks. The filtered light of the morning sun illuminated the room through some light curtains. A large, princess-sized desk commanded the room’s gravity even without the princess behind it. She sat across from me in front of it.
Usually I found myself with Celestia or Twilight when new developments occurred. But they weren't the mistress of dreams. Another night of sleep brought me more of the same two fillies trying to distract me from quality time with my sister. Nevertheless it was worth reporting, along with some other recent developments.
“I used to think my purpose was to help you adapt to Equestria. And at first, I thought that meant helping you become a normal pony and leave the war behind. The more I saw you interact with others and live your life, the more I began to question my own purpose. You’ve done so well that I wonder if I’m not needed anymore. You can be your own sort of pony—or being, rather. This is why I’ve chosen to interfere less. He said something like that, at any rate.”
Luna took a moment to ponder the significance of my words before beginning to formulate her response. “I suspected something of the sort, given the brown stallion’s relative inactivity. Although, I do wonder why you seemed so eager to share something so inconclusive…”
I grinned. “That’s where it gets interesting. I pointed out that he appeared to have access to my experiences, which really seemed to throw him off-balance. He started tripping over his words and such.” My triumphant aura dissipated as I relaxed. “I think I basically got him to admit that he’s part of me. I hate to think he’s my subconscious or something, but that’s how it appears…”
The night princess picked up on my souring mood and jumped in provide assurance. “Your logic is valid, but the conclusion does not carry the day. This was among the first things we’ve considered. We dismissed such a hypothesis following the tantabus incident. If the brown stallion were a part of you, the tantabus would not have been able to corrupt him without you being overcome with darkness.”
I would have been relieved, but I picked up on a disconcerting implication. “Was… was I that close to death?”
Luna suddenly raised herself from in front of her desk before pausing. If I had to guess, I would have hazarded that she was considering giving me a hug before thinking better of it.
“Death? No, not quite. At best you would have been under its control until we had contained it. At worst… you would have become its minion and helped spread the living nightmare to all of Equestria.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s so much more comforting. Thank you,” I snarked without a second thought to our relative stations.
Luna offered a gentle smile in response. “The idea is just as terrifying to us.” Luna shuffled some papers on her desk until they were neat piles. “It is fortuitous that you requested a meeting with us, for Twilight Sparkle has proffered some interesting theories.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I’m a bit tired of being an object of scientific curiosity. The surrounding mysteries, the research to not lose myself to an infant’s limited brain capacity—all of it seems to raise more questions than answers.”
“I understand your frustration, or at least I can sympathize.” She took a breath. “In the first place, there’s the possibility that the brown stallion is a phantasm, the disembodied memory of a poor soul full of regret.”
I was caught between feeling anxious and being genuinely curious.
“So I might be haunted?”
“Essentially, yes.”
“How do you prove something like that?”
“It’s something that’s treated in a kind of clinical manner,” Luna explained. By her tone, I could tell she was in unfamiliar territory. “You see, we start by ruling out a bunch of possibilities until it’s more likely than not. This can be done by collecting anecdotes and seeing if your experience parallels others. From there, well we can…”
I took advantage of the pause. “You don’t need to explain the whole process. Just tell me what I can provide to prove, or disprove this possibility.”
Luna floated a piece of paper over and began to look it over. “I was given a basic set of diagnostic questions. To start: do you ever have periods where you black out, lapses of memory, or feeling like you’re outside of your own body?”
"I…. don’t think so?" A sudden thought occurred to me, which made me regret my previous comment. I surreptitiously glanced at Luna's grand timepiece with a devious smile. If I played this right, I could skip out on singing lessons at school today! "How long is this list?”
Luna cleared her throat to continue, but I wasn't discreet enough, and she followed my gaze to the clock. “Forgive me. We don’t have time right now. You can’t be late to school. We’ll go through the list later. To give you a quick summary of another possibility, the brown stallion could be a guardian spirit.”
“A guardian… spirit?” I repeated, like a complete moron.
“Basically, it’s when a soul—a conscience from another world bonds to you. They are extremely rare but widely celebrated when they do occur. The few ponies we know of as a spirit’s host lived remarkable lives thanks to their guidance.”
“That… that’s interesting, but I’m not sure I’d want anyone else in my head and seeing through my eyes.”
Wait, this sounds familiar…
“Luna, to be blunt: how is this different from the other possibilities we’ve discussed.”
She regarded me kindly. “That’s a perfectly sensible question. You see: bearers of guardian spirits are literally two souls in one body, one indigenous, one foreign. Ghosts and the like are similar to memories. They’re an afterimage of a once-living soul on reality, which can in turn become an impression on one’s consciousness.”
“It sounds like you’ve concluded that it’s something foreign.”
“Yes, ‘tis an apt summary.”
I motioned to snap my fingers, before wistfully remembering that gesture was now impossible. Given how pony bodies seemed to defy the limitations of hooves, I half expected to be able to do it anyway.
“So, about that guardian spirit thing… I suppose you’re going to tell me that you can only guess if I have a guardian spirit through indirect methods.”
“To the contrary—" Luna’s horn lit up."No, you do not have one.”
“What!? If it was that easy…" I sputtered. "Not to look a gift pony in the mouth...”
“I had mostly eliminated such a possibility, but Twilight conjectured a scenario in which it would be at least plausible, so I used a more direct method. Only one soul; it’s really that simple. In any event, I believe we’re done here, at least for now.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Princess,” I said, coy.
“Come again?”
“You see, I led with the less consequential news. My dreamscape wandering bears further gifts!”
“You tease me too much, young one. Unless—do you mean?” Luna perked up, a bit of a rarity for her.
She started to walk towards a cabinet door, apparently before realizing that she could just magic it open. She levitated out what looked like a combination between a spoon and an ornate candlestick. The blue liquid gently oscillating inside the depression on the tip appeared to be seconds away from dripping off, but it could never escape the surface.
“I sat through a very boring dream tea party to get that—very prissy, so I expect a heartfelt thanks.”
“Yes! You got a sample! I knew I would find a use for such a tool someday!” Luna cheered.
“That is a pretty interesting artifact,” I admitted. “To be honest: I didn’t believe you when you told me I would be able to summon a real object in a dream.”
Luna patiently extracted the spoon’s contents into a vial and swirled the contents for good measure.
“You told me to get a magic sample from Auburn, but I still don’t understand—wouldn’t samples from both of them be ideal?”
There was a boast contemplated in Luna’s eyes, but it faded as she thought better of it. “Celestia and I are both more contemplative than impulsive, which does come with its disadvantages. However, even I was able to grab my opportunity amidst the chaos of the tantabus incident.”
Rather than finish her story, she pushed a different vial towards me while examining the first. “Just as I thought: she is not a real pony,” Luna intoned thoughtfully.
“I never trusted her. She’s superficially nice, but she did go and insert herself into my dreams without asking... so now we know she’s a ghost, or something?”
“Were I you, I would not alert her to our awareness of her.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” I said simply, drumming my forehooves on Luna’s desk before stopping abruptly. “Wait a minute, wouldn’t that mean that House Keeper is real? After all, you said there were two real presences besides me in my dreams. To be fair, I always just assumed my sister had really been there.”
“Indeed, it would mean so.”
“But that backstory is ridiculous! It was the only thing that threw me off Auburn’s trail.”
Luna’s expression became somber. “We’ve searched for her, using the clues you’ve given us and this sample. We’ve found nothing. What’s worrisome, though, is that her magic is abnormally weak, diseased even. For this reason, we’ve come to believe that she might also be from a different dimension. Perhaps it is yours.”
“I’m pretty sure there are no ponies there. Unless you subscribe to that whole infinite universe thing.”
“Come again?”
I paused. “I don’t know if I understand it either. It’s an old fringe idea that we’ve held onto. My people are in a situation in which our collective knowledge pales in comparison to that of those that came before us. What we once had was something like House’s world—that giant city. Then again, that was the same dream where we took on seven-foot tall monsters in an archaic sport that I think dates back to my ancestral homeworld.”
“I would continue this discussion, but we are short on time.”
I took a deep breath, hesitating only because I knew Star would have to fly me if I delayed any longer. I hope Pink isn’t waiting for me downstairs.
“Luna?”
“Hmm?”
“The… big… problem—where are we with that?”
“Dost thou refer to… nay, I cannot fathom a way to speak lightly of it.”
“Yeah, that!” I quickly replied.
Luna’s expression soured, torn weighing a decision.”’Tis a matter of high magic theory. I don’t feel I could do it justice so quickly—”
“That’s what you princesses always say. I don’t believe it. I may be a dunce at magic, but it can’t be completely impervious to a simple explanation.”
Luna hung her head ever so slightly, but recovered instantly, as if her royal conditioning made such an outward demeanor untenable.
“We have explored many paths, so we are a mite embarrassed of our paltry results. You are already an… outlier.”
“What does that mean?” I quickly snapped back.
“You have, lasted longer than we would have thought. Twilight thinks it has something to do with the magic of your world, Celestia believes it due to the alicorn factor, while Professor Withers postulates a multi-vector transformation dynamic.”
“What’s that?”
“Basically, by virtue of you possessing multiple aspects, the change is more complex. It may be a poor metaphor, but she likens it to Harmony being ‘careful.’ In any event, the bottom line is that it’s difficult to estimate how much more time we have.”
“That’s bad—or it might be good. I don’t know...” I felt a chill, almost regretting having asked.
“We do have a few promising options. We’ve crafted the spells, but it’s a matter of refining them.”
I jumped out of the chair, perhaps prematurely excited. “Great!”
“We didn’t want to hazard overpromising, as flaws of even the most promising approaches may be significant. One approach is to compress your memories into the most salient, defining moments, to a degree that an infant’s mind could retain.” Luna continued without pausing ”Another is to ‘ladle’ your memories as you regain the ability to retain them.”
She sighed.
“No, that sounds like you’ve made a lot of progress. Go on!” I pleaded
She sighed again for good measure. “Unfortunately, both raise metaphysical questions about whether your identity will be preserved. The former may preserve your core personality, but subtleties of your psyche may be lost. For the ladle approach, we’re dealing with a moving target. The concern is that your new experiences in between memory transfers will still cause you to develop into an entirely new pony. Perhaps one very troubled...”
“I don’t care! That pony shouldn’t exist! I’ll risk it! It’s still my existence!”
My shouting echoed off the walls.
Luna looked shaken, but didn’t appear apologetic. “Please understand: we can’t completely ignore the impact these methods may have on an innocent alicorn filly—should we fail to protect you, that is. Although it may inform our decision when evaluating equal options, we won’t let it tie our hooves when it comes to taking risks.”
I got ready to snap back, to tell Luna to hold nothing back. Just as quickly, though, new clarity rippled on the surface of my mind. This was another case of minimizing casualties. A good general knows that while an overarching objective may have a human cost, there is such a situation where he must stem the tide of further lost lives, if mere bluster is all it would amount to.
“I… I get it,” I muttered, with light regret. “I just—I don’t like the idea of being sacrificed for the pony Harmony thinks I should be.”
“No, I should apologize,” Luna said, empathetic. “I shouldn’t have touched on such a heavy topic right before school. Just know that finding the best solution continues to be an active undertaking.”
I smiled half-heartedly. “Thanks. Thanks for investing so much, to try and save me I mean. I—I had no idea so much had gone into it.”
Luna gently ushered me out the door, trying not to appear hurried.
I hope school, at least, will be uneventful. I’ve got enough on my mind.
I tensely hung on the final note of my musical number for as long as I could, hoping it would blot out the remainder of my troubled performance. I even thought the last protracted bit almost sounded okay.
My hopes, however, were quickly dashed.
What had started as veiled giggles slowly established itself as audible chuckles, before reaching its zenith as an uproar of jeering laughter. Even my so-called friends couldn’t help themselves.
Ms. Fizzle looked like she was choking herself, to avoid being drawn in.
Bubble Bauble approached me bearing a vindictive grin. “That! That was soooo bad!”
“I know!” Annuity shouted. “Try to defend that, Miss AAA!”
Stardust approached my side, pondering something. “Well at least the tune was—okay, River had nothing to do with that. And she really let the backup singers have their moment—a bit too much, actually. And the singing… Style? Anyone? I guess it—it kinda—it was pretty…”
Annuity forced more laughter. “No wonder Ms. Fizzle let you sit out for so long! She didn’t want you to fail so dramatically in front of everypony! Where’d you learn to sing, anyway? An anvil factory?”
Ms. Fizzle recomposed herself with apparent difficulty. “Now, everypony, we should all realize that some ponies learn slower than others.“
Annuity’s group laughed.
“In some areas, while excelling in others,” Fizzle stressed.
“It’s fine,” I interjected. “I know I’m not good at singing. I don’t really care all that much.”
I scanned the crowd. Squirt looked like he approved, Pink Diamond looked concerned, and Stardust looked like she was the one who had just lost face. As we walked back into the school building, I intentionally hung behind to be the last one in. As I walked by, Fizzle passed me a note. While I appreciated her trying being discreet, there was no getting around the humiliation of remedial music lessons.
Shaking my head, I made the long hop up to the seat of my desk. I incidentally locked eyes with Iron Jill briefly and even she found it hard to look at me for the moment.
“Okay, everypony! Open your history books to page 377 and review the learning objectives. When you think you understand them, write at least three questions you hope, or expect, to get answers to in this unit. While you’re doing that, I’ll pass back some homework to you.”
I looked around to see my relative enthusiasm wasn’t reciprocated. I, for one, appreciated the preview of what was coming.
Now that the griffin war was taken care of, I understood that we were to learn about an era of peace and innovation. I had to wonder if Celestia had chosen this school for where we were on the history track. The logic would have been that I could relate to war better than peace. I had to admit it would have been a good approach.
The first objective was to “Characterize common themes relating to the development of trade, agriculture, government, mathematics, magic and cloud architecture.”
Cloud architecture, huh? I’m going to interpret this as meaning nothing of note happened for the pegasi, but we’ll put something on here so they don’t feel left out.
While I was spacing out about the first bullet point, graded assignments started piling up. As the ones I saw were all above-average. I was proud, all things considered, of the gradual increase of my grades. However, I made a note to myself to get Twilight help me to divine whether I’m getting alicorn-enhanced grades.
“Ms. Fizzle! You dropped one!”
“Oh, yes, you’re right. Thank you, Little Pinion. It’s probably because it wasn’t clipped to anything else. Here you are, River: your cutie mark poem.”
Before I knew it, a congregation had assembled around my desk. My first instinct was to hide my grade, but it occurred to me that a solid grade on a big assignment may counter any argument that I was a poor student on top of being hopeless at music. Unfortunately, this caused me to miss the opportunity to hide the real damaging part.
“A Poem About Squirt’s Cutie Mark!?” Granite said in a shrill, disbelieving tone uncharacteristic of her.
“What!? Where!?” Annuity demanded as she pounced.
“At the top,” Style said, reluctantly.
I looked for myself, hoping to see something to base a denial on. Instead…
Oh, ponyfeathers! I knew I should have come up with a better title!
I looked around bashfully until Squirt himself caught my attention. He had gone pale in the face, which was pretty impressive considering his white fur.
Fizzle was wearing an enigmatic smile while another round of giggles at my expense was beginning to pick up steam.
Did she trick me? I wondered with a hint of rage.
It cooled.
Then again, it was my suggestion—which I made sarcastically...
“That’s kind of neat!” Zephyr Zap pointed out with some forced perkiness.
“Yeah, she rhymed semblance with evidence.”
“If she can write like this, why did she struggle with singing rhymes?”
While I registered the measured compliment, it did not detract from the turbulent flow of self-criticism washing over me as I was hit with further realizations. Even if I didn’t actually have one myself, I should have realized I was walking on eggshells. Writing about another pony’s cutie mark was an accident waiting to happen!
Okay, Fizzle, I’ve learned my lesson…
But I would never admit it aloud.
At some point in my contemplation, a chorus of “River likes Squirt! River Likes Squirt!” had started, interleaved with childish rhymes.
Whatever, this doesn’t affect me. There’s only one pony I really care about in all this: Squirt.
I recoiled.
NO! Not like that!
Even my own thoughts were turning on me!
I spent some time trying to build some self-confidence back. While I succeeded to some degree, the status quo was still taxing.
Somehow, without any overt agreement between the two of us, it became established that Pink Diamond would get to ask me one princess-related question per day on our morning walk to school.
“So, I really don’t think they’ll let me decide anything until I’m an adult…” I finished, hoping my somewhat repetitive answer had satisfied her for the day.
Or, you know, until I’m actually a princess.
However, I had given up on challenging that assumption about my future, at least with the crystal filly.
“But don’t you need to start training?” she asked excitedly.
I gave her a weird look until she understood she needed to elaborate.
“You know: special princess training! Like, forbidden knowledge!! Ultimate magic! Secret techniques!”
I stifled a groan. “There’s nothing like that—oh, hey, we’re here!”
To my chagrin, and in spite of yesterday, I still had a phalanx of foals ready to greet me. Fortunately the trend was that the new status quo was starting to sink in. Presumably, some of the novelty factor of my ascension had worn off. I held onto hope that interest in me would continue to decrease in a straight line.
I walked to my desk, my thoughts drowning out the various salutations as I passed each pony.
I was partially resigned to the notion that everyone new I’d meet would see the horn and wings before anything else. Whether the impact of that first impression would diminish in time over the course of a typical relationship remained to be seen. I knew I could always ask Celestia, but asking about such ponderous matters intimidated me.
“Hey, River, will you hear my petition today?” Windy Skies asked.
“Oh, sure,” I replied absentmindedly.
Stardust blew into a whistle and separated the two of us. “Windy, you can’t ask her ahead of time to hear your petition. You have to get in line after school!”
The little pegasus looked to me, hoping to cure her utter confusion. “Is there a rule? One that says that, I mean?”
Stardust dropped a small binder at the feet of Windy Skies.
“The Official Afterschool Open Court Rules and Regulations, Second Edition. Section 3, Rule 19: petitioners shall be chosen at the presiding Pseudo-Princess’s discretion after school.”
Well at least they designated me a pseudo princess… I thought, trying not to concern myself with the insanity of an official rulebook. But to be fair, the instructions that came with Squirt’s games were even longer.
I hopped in place. Speaking of which…
“Squirt!” I called out with a bit more volume than necessary.
The little colt flinched as I pranced up to him. It took me a second to realize how much attention this was drawing; when it hit me, I tried my best to tone down the pranciness.
There was a palpable expectation in the classroom by now. Even Fizzle seemed invested.
I shrugged. Whatever, that works for me.
“River, what—”
“Squirt!” I cut him off. “Maybe since I don’t have one of those cutie marks I didn’t get it, but the whole poem thing was a misunderstanding! It was my idea, but it was a joke! I thought Ms. Fizzle would say no!”
Squirt had a look of docile contemplation on his face. “So why’d you do it anyway?”
“Because it was easy!” I announced to the world. “It just had more to say. More than with Annuity’s boring mark, anyway.”
“Hey!” Annuity wailed indignantly, but the laughter came all the same. I think I might also have heard Fizzle scold me as well, but other things were on my mind.
That went over surprisingly well, I thought, expecting more of a clear split to my petty jab at Annuity.
“I’m really sorry,” I whispered to Squirt in a hurry. “Am I still invited to play that new game, or did you start without me?”
“I’m not mad,” Squirt said, in response to the real issue.
“Great! When’s the party?”
“Party?” “Party!?” What party!?”
I looked over my withers to see a gaggle of curious foals. I felt anew a spike of annoyance at the injustice of having to weigh my words constantly if I wanted to avoid scrutiny.
The adult in the room clapped her hooves. “Back to your seats, everypony. We still have a wonderful class full of learning and adventure to get to!”
Her oblivious sincerity earned some laughter and some groans.
Fizzle began lecturing about mathematics. Although distracted lately, I had a vague recollection of the subject matter which eased the learning curve a bit. Or perhaps it was overconfidence.
I nodded my head lazily back and forth. Nothing I can do. Next week’s math test will try and ambush me anyway.
I exhaled, relishing the little victory I had just grabbed hold of by not alienating Squirt. I may not be able to control my own destiny, but it is nice to keep the little things in order.
I took a nap during recess and coasted the rest of the way through the day. Although only a half day, school had felt much longer lately. I still had a natural reaction to cheer the end of school. It was like a gut punch remembering I had to hear requests.
“Hi, River!”
Zap again, huh? I thought I’d done a better job at cycling through the ponies. Don’t know why I bother.
“Ms. Fizzle! Ms. Fizzle.” Mortar Strike shouted frantically, though it came out muffled due to the stack of papers in his mouth. I’m not too late am I?”
“Not at all. Good job, Mortar. And with that I think that’s everypony.”
Momentarily distracted, I turned my attention back to Zap who was still wearing an eager smile.
“By the way, did you ever decide which activities to do at camp?”
Some more curious ponies flocked to the crowd to hear my answer.
“No.” I said nonplussed.
“So, anyway, I was wondering—oh...” Zap suddenly slumped to a sitting position.
“What’s the matter?” I said, with tempered concern. She’s already sad? Is this request that weighty?
“Umm… I didn’t use up my petition with that question, did I?”
My first thought was to laugh. My second was selfish.
“Yes,” I answered, firm, causing Zap to deflate and walk away.
I enjoyed the freebie for a moment before having second thoughts.
Should I feel bad? I shook my head. Nah, she’s the second happiest pony I know. She’ll be fine.
I turned my attention to the crowd, hoping for another easy request. I randomly waved a forehoof around, not really caring who I picked.
I stopped abruptly. “You!”
Somehow, I hadn’t noticed Pink Diamond was among them, so I was somewhat surprised when she approached my desk.
“Yes?”
“I’ll ask the question everypony wants answered, then!” she announced, bubbly. “River, what activities are you going to pick? We’ve all turned ours in, but we really want to know.”
Once again, annoyance set in. I didn’t really want to do any of it, but I knew I’d draw attention by staying in Canterlot. But seeing the question would keep dogging me and that I would be automatically placed anyway if I didn’t fill out the form, I saw an unconventional solution. Abruptly, I jumped down from my desk and approached my cubby. Mine was eye-level, so I could reach into it without leaving my feet.I had rolled the stack of papers associated with camp into a cylinder. I plucked the important part from the center, with the feathery touch of an archer drawing from his quiver. I then proceeded to stomp over to the eager crowd and dropped the form of exaggerated importance at Pink Diamond’s hooves.
“You guys decide,” I announced.
I started to walk away when I felt a jolt of panic. “Oh, and no singing or dancing. That’s all. Thanks.”
Behind me I could hear a noisy debate as ponies pushed themselves into position to participate in the decision-making. Zephyr Zap was trying to fly in, but the bigger ponies blocked her. Some of Annuity’s posse were in the fray; it was a tossup whether they would purposely make suggestions I would hate, or if they wanted to be in the same activities as me.
Who cares, really? What difference does it make what I do at pony summer camp? It’ll be a pain no matter what. Even if the princesses do ‘save’ me, I’ll still probably have to redo my school years all over. None of this matters!
My wings twitched. It was strange when they did move since my brain didn’t really know how to process them yet. I wondered if manipulating things with my wings would feel the same. Out of curiosity I tried to move my wings by hoof. When I couldn’t reach, I felt like a fool for trying. Yet, I was able to vividly imagine how moving them would feel.
Wait a minute! I used them to grab the activity form!
Sure enough I was able to spread them open at will. It was just as sudden as me gaining drastically better command of my tail, another development I couldn’t pinpoint.
I felt still for a moment. Should I be happy? Appreciate the potential usefulness. Worry that I’m settling too much into being an alicorn?
I really didn’t know.
“Villains are attacking! Villains are attacking!” screamed a panicked bystander. I dashed past her, doubting I could do much.
I hurried down the narrow street, not even knowing if my pursuers were even giving chase, but I had a job to do.
“The road before you suddenly comes to an end, in a strange sort of bottleneck. In front of you are some dumpsters, but the walls of the surrounding buildings have smooth brick,” came a commanding, disembodied voice.
I turned to the side to whisper to my companion, who was wearing a mask that resembled a brilliant gold firework mid-explosion.
Thaumaturgical Spectacular
Perk: Pyrotechnician
“Well, there’s no way around it, is there? We fight!” he declared haughtily.
While normally I would be behind the idea, I shot him a look. “They outnumber us, and we don’t know what their powers—what their perks are I mean. Besides, do we even have the room to fight?”
“While still narrow, the alley has sufficient room for a melee,” the voice clarified.
I faced the colt to my left. We locked eyes, nodded and charged forward. Making a snap judgment, I shifted my colors to a canary yellow and electric blue scheme.
Kaleidoscope
Perk: Color-Code Combat
The villains appeared to have weak defenses, so I doubted they would be able to take weak hits at the rate I could deal them out in this form.
Thaumaturgical announced our presence with a barrage of fireworks. I leapt between the walls and threw myself like a shuriken against the foe I thought could take the least punishment. Striking with all four hooves, I managed two full rotations for eight hits. Rolling a fifteen I landed flawlessly on my hooves.
I had to dodge quickly, though, as another villain was closing in on me. This one looked sturdier, so I decided to be evasive. As the battle progressed, it was becoming increasingly clear how ineffective I was. Adding a second opponent to the mix meant that it took everything I had to avoid hits. Even with my black, evasion-type color scheme. I wouldn’t be able to hold out forever.
“I don’t think we’re gonna win this one,” I said as desperation kicked in.
“The others are here! They came! We’re saved!” Spectacular announced as our three fellow students and teacher made their dramatic entry.
Steel Support
Perk: Some for Everyone
Mint Coin
Perk: One for the Money
Mad Hatter
Perk: Party for Everyone
Pro Hero — Slightly-Above-Average Botanist
Perk: Fiber Sophist
“You know what time it is?” Mint asked, checking his pocket watch.
“Yeah, it’s time to turn this battle around!” Steel announced emphatically.
“Let’s party!” said Hatter.
Golden Thimble rolled.
“Aaaand a two,” said Squirt the Dungeon Master. “With that the heroes are vanquished. The nefarious actors of Every Villain Is Lemons overtake the city and eventually the world. The end.”
“Dang it!” Daft Hat said, rather upset. “I thought we would make it for sure!”
“There was a Class B villain in the group,” explained Golden Thimble. “We’re only supposed to be students, we can’t take on the really bad guys yet.”
“But we had the #72 hero in Equestria on our side. How could we lose?”
I didn’t want to get into a fight between Squirt’s friends, but I was dragged into the exchange all the same.
Squirt looked like he was contemplating something, thought better of it, and then decided to say it anyway. “If I’m to be perfectly honest, you guys lost because River chose such a weak perk.”
I tossed my bangs to the side with a dismissive hum. “Sorry for having such a weak perk,” I replied, sardonically.
Was I actually offended by that? I found myself wondering.
I glanced at the pocket watch Golden Thimble had brought as a prop. “Sorry, I can’t stay for another run at it. I need to get going.”
“Princess business?” Daft Hat teased.
I sighed. “No, nothing like that.”
“Well, you could say we had a royal good time!” Thimble remarked to his own amusement.
I didn’t dignify him with a response as I turned to leave.
“Bye, River! Thanks for inviting me!” Thaumaturgical shouted after me.
“See: I told you she was a filly,” Daft Hat said to the others when I wasn’t quite out of earshot.
“Me too,” said Thimble.
Despite my reservations about doing so I lingered by the door.
“I’m sure she had reasons for saying she was a colt,” Iron Press said, defending me.
I knew that you were the smart one. Thank you, Iron.
“But really, Squirt, now you’re cheating on Stardust with a princess?” he taunted.
I rolled my eyes and pushed myself out the door. I walked half a block before checking my surroundings. Seeing nopony, I shifted my colors to black and red.
Nobody’s looking for an alicorn with these colors. See: it is a useful “perk.”
I was halfway back to the castle with Star before it occurred to me that the new magic ring was the only thing that made my hybrid ability viable.
When I made it back to my room, I hopped straight onto my bed, which had become something of a habit. In truth, I had nothing to do, but my reception by Squirt’s friends detracted from what should have been a fun outing.
Squirt’s still a good friend at least. I can say that: he is a friend. But then why didn’t I want to admit the same to Spectacle? I guess he’s “more of a pony?” I don’t know… In any case, it was nice to have him along
I saw a bushy tail ride the rim of my bed. I was shocked for a moment, before recognition kicked in.
“Flower Power, is that you?” I asked, somewhat anxious.
The maid popped up. “Heehee I’m like a ninja, sneaking in your room to clean. You’ll never see me coming.”
For a second I tried to figure out what her colors reminded me of. “Say, Flower Powder’s your foal, isn’t she?”
The maid maid smiled. “Sure is. I’m a proud momma, and she’s my little bundle of joy.”
She looked like she was waiting for me to make a comment. “Cute filly that little one.”
I immediately regretted the comment, as I was not sure if it was an appropriate one to make in Equestria. Fortunately, the proud momma smiled and thanked me.
When she left, I was left in territory I was well acquainted with: boredom. I had to think on which book to read, but none appealed at the moment. I was pleasantly surprised when Star Chart knocked. I invited her in.
“So what’s the occasion?” I asked, careful not to show my happiness at somepony else to talk to. Flower Power I had little in common with, so we could only briefly converse before hitting an impasse.
Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever made small talk with Star Chart. Wait… something about Star—I wanted to ask—what was it?
I went from cluelessness to recollection in an instant.
“That’s right, you know where Bulwark lives, right?”
Star’s smile was a guarded one. “I do.”
“Great! You can lead the way for me. I miss her. If I’m accepting ponies as friends now, she definitely fits the bill”
Star tossed her bangs. “Nah, I don’t think that’s something I need to do,” she retorted before sticking out her tongue, stepping out and slamming the door behind her.
That’s… unlike her. I thought while trying to grapple with mixed feelings.
Without hesitation, I flung open the door again and charged out.
I readied to call after Star, but I hit what felt like a brick wall and had the wind knocked out of me. Taking breaths to recover, I looked up to see what I should have anticipated, seeing how things usually worked around here.
“Bulwark!? What are you doing here?” My pleasantly surprised reaction leaked out, despite me still struggling for oxygen.
“Hey, River. I guess I wanted to apologize,” she said matter-of-factly.
“You what—why?”
“It was a bit much to react how I did. I’m sorry.”
I coughed. “No, I’m at fault here. You were right when it came to Celestia. She didn’t tell me to lie; it was my decision. Sorry for not believing in you—or trusting you. I’m sorry.”
I looked away briefly as I contemplated something insistent. “Why’d you apologize to me, anyway? I can’t think of anything you did…”
Bulwark laughed. “I still do feel bad. But for the most part it’s a Canterlot etiquette thing. Fishing for an apology it’s called: apologize for something trivial to get somepony else to apologize.”
“How does that work?”
Bulwark tapped a forehoof while thinking. “Consider a Canterlot noblemare. She has a hundred friends, three hundred acquaintances, and thousands of second-degree connections from these first two groups. If she does something to offend somepony, it may be lost in the hustle and bustle of her social obligations. It sort of developed as a socially acceptable way to remind somepony that they wronged you.”
“So I fell for it?” I asked, cocking my head.
“Basically!”
“Cool… so we can hang out again?”
“I’d love to,” she said, pleased. “Though not right now. I kinda snuck out on chores to come see you. But I do want to know about you—”
“Me? Oh… my secret?” I asked, nervous. Despite nearly losing my friend, I still had second thoughts about letting ponies know.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to…” Bulwark conceded, disappointment showing.
“No, I do want to. I just…” I hummed myself. Would it be okay if I just tell you a little bit right now? And tell you more later?”
Bulwark wore a poker face, seemingly ready to negotiate for more. But then she nodded, and her pleasant smile returned. “That seems fair. Do you have anything in mind?”
I felt a weight in my chest. While I was open to compromise, actually coming up with what to share put a certain pressure on me.
I sighed, to stall, if nothing else. “Okay, tell me if this is enough: Celestia “picked” me because she saw I could be an alicorn.”
Bulwark’s tail started wagging deliberately as she considered my tasty revelation. “She knew? You mean she can tell? Is that why she made Twilight Sparkle her student? Wait a minute! Are the other eleven students also going to be alicorns!? Even the colts?”
“Well, not quite. It’s more complicated than that…” I said, somewhat tense. “Celestia never intended that I would get more time with her than they would.”
Am I lying to her again? No. You can even argue that Celestia is giving them more time “as her student.”
Bulwark didn’t get it, but seemed to accept my cryptic words.
“I guess that’ll be the cliffhanger to keep me reading. I’ll let you know when I’m free. See you later, River!”
“Bye,” I whispered after her. Unfortunately, my hopes of a distraction from boredom were dashed.
I wonder what will happen when I get de-aged? Will we still be friends? I’d miss her…
And I was sad again.
I finished the final lap around the field, leading Windy Skies considerably. I skid to a halt once I had crossed the imaginary finish line and pumped my front hooves in celebration. “It’s my win!” I declared, proud.
Windy had run well all the same. Though my breathing was heavier than hers, I could tell she had tried her best.
She came up to my side at a slow trot. “Good job,” she said, somewhat forced. “Still, I don’t know why you’d want to race me,” she added, somewhat confused.
“Oh, no reason.”
Stardust decided to insert herself into the conversation at that juncture: “Wasn’t it you that wanted to race? I don’t know why that would be a secret request, though.”
Windy went cross-eyed for a second. “Request? I didn’t even stick around for that today. My sister—”
I clapped my front hooves. “It doesn’t matter whose idea it was. What matters is that I won. Being an alicorn is awesome!”
“I can’t relate, but I’d certainly think so,” said Windy.
I trotted a few paces away before turning around and waving. “See you fillies later!”
The two foals exchanged a look before turning and waving, perplexed.
Silver Lining and Mortar strike approached me with a pail full of rocks.
“We got some neat ones this time!” said Silver Lining.
I smiled my best princess smile. “That’s so thoughtful of you,” I intoned benevolently.
Seriously, rocks? Where does it say I like rocks, anyway?
“Yeah… that brown one is kinda neat…”I felt obliged to spend a minute pretending to look interested before setting off on my stroll home.
The purple pegasus mare alighted.
“Hello, Star Chart!” I greeted, chipper.
“You seem like you’ve settled in well,” Star remarked.
“What do you mean?” I asked innocently.
Star put a hoof to her chin. “I wonder if my assumptions about you were inaccurate is all.”
We stayed mostly silent on the way back until the halfway mark. Star and I made some small talk, and I aced it like today’s math test. Confident I had done my job, I relaxed a bit.
“Yeah, at first I thought I wasn’t worthy to be a princess, but it’s really fun.”
“Are you... well?” Star asked candidly.
“As well and good as a petite princess can be!” I said, giggling.
Star intensified her glare. “Who are you!? Where is the real RIver Glade!?”
“Tch. Took you long enough,” I said as I once more took the shape of the foal Maniacal Laughter. “While I’m nowhere near the actor my brother is, I’m second to none when it comes to shapeshifting from memory.” I laughed. You didn’t notice a thing!”
Star stomped a hoof and lunged at the imposter, who dodged lazily. “Foul changeling, where is she!?”
“Yeah, yeah. You really think I’d just tell you? Besides, it’s not that easy to nab an alicorn in broad daylight. There are more eyes than ours on her. This is more than a smash and grab operation.”
Changing tune, the female changeling punched the air. “I wonder: do you fancy your chances against me? I could be weak; I could be strong. Who knows? But I might be able to give you a hint if you can beat me!”
Star stretched herself to her maximum height and waved with her left hoof. “Well, I’m not alone! And you will tell me everything!”
The seconds dragged on. The changeling yawned, taunting the pony.
Star awkwardly waved again.
“Apparently, your backup made the sensible determination that what Maniacal Laughter is up to takes precedence,” the filly imposter taunted.
Star resisted the temptation to look immediately, but decided to take but a quick glance. When she saw the fire, her eyes widened to take in the reality of the situation. In the span of those few seconds, the changeling had slipped away.
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"Oyi bug whore, you will be paying in blood for any and all damages caused."
Mr or Miss Gambit, by all that there is here's hoping you give River the ability to send her bug captors thru the nine levels of hell.
What if River's memories were taken away when she's old enough and his are put in, and maybe give the new ones back afterward with the ladle method?
Or a combination of compression reinforced with the ladle method?
May the odds be ever in your favor.
That's a nice touch.
this story is looking grate.
this is a super good chapter.
As the Quarter Guy would say, "A toast to my big mouth!"
Essentially, if you had to decide between toast or cereal for breakfast, you have an alternate timeline in which you made the other choice. Even minute changes can create a vast difference.
This is your new ship. Sail it gently into calm waters.
And possibly a field trip!
9765386
The trouble with walking that tight-rope has been that one can only throw a character's resistance to relationships and activities so many times before it becomes crippling to progress in the narrative and keeps the character's interactions on repeat. This is largely fixed by chapter 24, but the lingering threads of doubt, self-imposed secrecy, and denial leaves the story feeling like it's dragging its heels - and that's really come up big time once the Alicornication completed itself. Things were progressing well, and now we're stalled in a quagmire of side-plots and angst.
EDIT: This is not to say I want all things to resolve cleanly and to see the story dive straight into the final conflict and falling action at the cost of the slice of life elements - nothing of the sort. Right now, it just feels like we've taken two steps forward and one step back, with one big lingering question that remains entirely unresolved after all these years: is the person known as Aron/Alice going to survive this transformation? I think we're overdue for the answer.
9766385
Thanks for sharing your impressions. It really helps me.
I've held nothing back when it comes to avoiding this story becoming a wish fulfillment plot. If I were a better writer, I'd be able to accomplish this elegantly, without having to resort to angst. I've tried to skip some of it, but I fall back on it in response to the bigger changes.
I do think there has to be some adjustment to the alicorn point at least. After all, no one would truly be ready for the sudden scrutiny. That's not to say I couldn't have handled it another way. Maybe Alice should have grown enough by this point to adapt more smoothly, or at least hate it less. On the other hand, Alice has tried her best to avoid attention in Equestria, so that might make her less ready for it than expected.
The last section seems to come out of left field, but then again, we are only really privy to what Alice knows.
it almost feels like i understand less about the story now.
It has a huuuge context of characters and threads of events, it’s impossible to remember everything.
And to understand what’s going on in each new chapter you gotta recollect most of it.
Add to it the ridiculous timespan between chapters being released and author going the opposite of “Keeping It Simple” way.
I can't deny a single thing you said.
I forget half of my OC's color arrangements. I guess I can keep experimenting with "soft recaps."
Anypony have solutions?
So ill be honest here: Ive been reading this story for about the last 2 weeks straight one or two chapters a day because i wanted to savor it while you updated.
I have officially ran out and im extreamly sad about this.
I CANT WAIT for more content! Youre doing an absolutly fantastic job and i hope both that you get the praise you fully deserve and that i get to see a new chapter come soon! (Tho definitally not too soon! <3) Keep up the absolutly amaazing work Gambit!
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Considering this comment is a reply to a comment I made literally years ago, maybe you shouldn't comment on the age or relevance of comments that others make.
i
Ah, was wondering when the super villains would pop back up.