Chapter 28
Unsurprisingly, Celestia spent the remainder of the day gathering evidence and testimony from various ponies around the castle. Bulwark and I were able to see her discipline the pony on whose withers the prison break rested, and honestly, I was amazed at the lashing she was able to deliver without raising her voice. It was only after we had witnessed the entire thing, that she finally seemed to remember we were following her and sent us away.
“So yeah, that was something…” I said, slightly frazzled.
“I’ve seen her like that before,” Bulwark added. “Even so, it’s still unnerving.”
“Well, you were right about her loving Latte’s idea to be sure. Apparently she, like you, thinks my hybrid magic is some sort of neat toy...“
Bulwark’s ears drooped. “I’m sorry I didn’t consider your feelings in the matter. I thought you would enjoy it just like us. But I should have known that it’s more complicated—”
Any further thought, however, was interrupting by Pink Diamond barreling around the corner.
“I’m so excited! I’m so excited!” She exclaimed. “Hey, River—” she suddenly froze and more carefully scrutinized me. The longer she looked the more perplexed she became. “I’m sorry, you look just like a friend of mine—same mane style and everything. Are you an exchange student? Can we be friends?”
“No,” I said flatly.
The crystal pony frowned for a long second before regaining her pep. “You look just like Luna—your colors I mean. Are you related? Are—are you a princess!? I’m sorry. Where are my manners?” She bowed.
Bulwark snickered.
Realizing the need to further distance myself from River Glade, I swept my mane to the side. “Nope. Just a horn here,” I said.
“Silly me. I should’ve known princesses have wings! Anyway, have you seen River Glade?”
“Yeah, he—she went that way.” I said, pointing in a random direction.
Pink Diamond started running in place. “I gotta get going then. Everypony has to know! It was nice meeting you—uhhh…”
“Lua,” I provided, throwing out the first name I could come up with.
“Well, if River Glade’s not around, I guess I’ll track down Cake Slice next. See you around, Lua. Bye!”
When she was out of earshot, Bulwark laughed to herself. “Quite a character that one. But how cool was that!? Fooling your friends with your pony chameleon abilities.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m starting to see the use,” I conceded. I then quickly came to the conclusion that it probably wasn’t the wisest course of action to inadvertently establish any more secret identities and relaxed the subtle flow of mana.
“Oh cool. Those look like the colors you had during our mingling! Except your mane’s pink this time...”
“What? Oh… Yeah, I just wanted to see if I could pull it off. I guess I wasn’t concentrating on the mane color enough.” Mentally chastising myself, I turned my ability back on in order to revert to River Glade form. I would have to be mindful of the interaction between the ring and this ability. Besides, mixing the two seemed like a poor idea in any event.
Bulwark suddenly struck a serious tone. “Thank you by the way, for including me. It means a lot that you trusted me with another secret.”
“Oh, you’re welcome?” I tried.
The response seemed to satisfy Bulwark.
“By the way, you corrected yourself to refer to yourself as a filly. Does she know too?”
It took me a moment to grasp what she was getting at before I responded. “Yes, I tried to keep it from her, but she assumed I was a filly right out of the gate. I didn’t even try to convince her otherwise. Most of the exchange students know I’m a filly too.”
Bulwark nodded. “Well, I can hardly fault her. It’s much more apparent with those colors than with your normal colors.”
“Yeah…”
“So what now?” Bulwark asked. “Are you going to try and catch up to her?”
“No, though I’m sure she’ll catch up to me eventually,” I replied. “It’s probably not that important. Why?”
“Well, if you want I’m still up for soccer… I mean, I can show you how to dribble and such. I’m sure you’ll be a natural.”
“I really appreciate it Bulwark, but— Actually, you know what? Why not? I like sparring with you and the other Junior Royal Guards. Maybe I’ll actually like another physical activity.”
“All right!” Bulwark cheered. “Not that you need persuading anymore, but I was going to remind you that if you like it, you can make it your green activity.”
“I hadn’t considered that.” Truthfully, I was grateful for a weekend without constant chatter about mandatory summer camp. “But wait, isn’t there a JRG group at camp?”
Bulwark nodded. “There is, but it’s catered towards newbies. I’m actually going to help run it!”
“Oh, wow. Good for you. I don’t suppose I can help too. Like you said, I still need a green activity.”
Bulwark frowned. “They usually only let the older colts and fillies help. Besides, it doesn’t count as one of your activities; it’s merely on a volunteer basis.”
“Darn,” I said. “I’m still stumped regarding what to pick.”
The earth filly took a few steps closer to me and foot a hoof on my withers. “You’ll be fine. With your athleticism, finding a green activity will be the least of your troubles.”
“I guess…”
“All right then! I’ll start you with some basic dribbling.”
There was a part of me with which I was becoming increasingly familiar that still wished I had said no as a matter of habit. However, upon thinking on it, I couldn’t ascertain any benefit to turning her down. In fact, I was enjoying her company as someone I didn’t have to lie to—at least not as much as usual.
When I saw her genuine smile, I knew it was worth it..
Bulwark’s tutorial was fairly basic. But since I had never played soccer as a pony before, it was rather illuminating. We started out with the basics of ball control. Considering I no longer had hands, there was no rule against using my front hooves to dribble. At first, I was hitting the ball too hard and was unable to keep up with it. Then I would not tap it hard enough, resulting in me nearly tripping over the ball. Of course, the biggest surprise was that the ball was normal-sized, meaning it was about half as big as me.
Bulwark looked rather good handling the ball, but it was easy to wonder how much of that was due to her height. Fortunately, she seemed to recognize this difference between us and was still able to give me relevant tips. Most notably, my small stature enabled me to use my head without craning my neck, so I would be able to control the ball partly with my chin.
It was slow work, but as the hours flew by I gradually grew accustomed to tapping the ball just hard enough to move it the length of my stride. Bulwark heaped praise on me, and I felt a genuine satisfaction from taking the first steps to master a new skill. Before I grew too conceited though, I had to remind myself that being able to do it when surrounded by defenders was another matter entirely.
I was surprised by how much Bulwark enjoyed coaching me. She stayed as long as she could, but to her chagrin she had to bid me farewell to go home for dinner.
“What’s wrong,” I asked, noticing a subtle change in her expression.
She blushed. “This will sound silly, but I’m kind of sad I have to wait until next week to see you again.”
I felt a familiar tugging on my heartstrings.
“I’m sure we can figure something out,” I said without thinking. “You live near the castle, right?”
“Yeah, but you said you were busy...,” Bulwark lamented.
I felt another twinge of guilt. This filly really liked me, and her genuine disappointment made me want to accommodate her.
“Actually, other than career day and an obligation I have to attend to tomorrow, I should be able to make time.”
Bulwark just smiled. “You’re a good friend, River, but it turns out I’m also busy all this week. I do appreciate the thought though.”
“Oh, okay,” I muttered. Truthfully, spending more time with Bulwark wasn’t the worst thing; in fact, I was now the one who ended up feeling rejected.
“Well, I can’t be late for dinner, so I guess I’ll see you around,” Bulwark said meekly.
“Thanks for all your help today. I had fun!”
My words echoed in my mind. To my surprise, I found them to be completely true.
Bulwark took a couple of steps towards me, uncertain. Somehow I knew what she wanted, and I was grateful that she was sensitive enough to hesitate.
I sighed. “Go ahead.”
Hopping towards me the filly squeezed me like a pony plushie. She was surprisingly gentle, and it did feel amazing. Still, I had my dignity to maintain, so I didn’t let on how much I enjoyed it.
We said our goodbyes, and I made my way to my room, satisfied with how I spent my day.
I wasn’t left alone with the afterglow for long though, and not two minutes later I heard an unfamiliar knocking pattern on my door. Nonetheless, I was fairly certain who it would be.
“Come in,” I said reluctantly.
The door flung open, and my eyes beheld pink.
“Oh! River! River! Exciting news! I’ve been looking all over for you! You’ve gotta hear this!” Pink Diamond rattled off rapid-fire. “I’ve been looking for you all day!”
I briefly felt bad about deceiving her before I considered that apologizing and letting her in on my special ability wasn’t exactly the most prudent course of action.
“What could be so important? And why look for me specifically?”
“I’m not telling just you, silly. I’ve already told Cake Slice, Perfect Cover, Mix-up, New Moon, Noble Truth, Monocle, and Hail Stone. You’re just the last pony—but certainly not the least!”
“Okay, what is it?” I wished I had some sort of excuse, but truthfully I had little else to do.
She hopped in place. “Get this: the secret surprise role model for career day for all us exchange ponies is going to be Celestia herself!”
She stood there with a big smile, waiting for my reaction. When I gave none she took a few steps closer and tried to make sense of my stoic expression.
“What does that mean?” I finally asked.
“What does it mean!? What does it mean? It means that all of us will get to shadow Celestia herself and watch her perform her princessly duties! What could be more exciting?”
I could name a couple things off the top of my head, but I decided to remain silent. Then again, I had completely forgotten that I had needed to find a role model, so I suppose that was something off my chest.
I then heard three firm knocks on my door.
“Oh, Celestia. Come in.” I said
The regal alicorn stepped through my doorway and Pink Diamond’s eyes went wide.
“Princess! What brings you here?” the filly asked, surprised.
“Hello, my little pony,” Celestia greeted. “I didn’t expect to find you in River’s room.”
“And I didn’t expect you to stop by River’s room either. Is she getting extra-special private friendship lessons? Oh! Can I get them too when I level up a bit more?”
The princess smiled in a compassionate way I had not seen paralleled in any other pony.
“It’s nothing of the sort, Diamond. In fact, I was going to stop by your room next. I have an exciting announcement for all of you.”
Pink Diamond smiled sheepishly.
“Yeah, I think the cat’s already out of the bag,” I said.
Celestia paused to think a moment and beheld Pink Diamond’s guilty expression before her eyes evidenced her realization.
“Dang it, Trusty…”
The walk to school mostly consisted of Pink Diamond chanting, “I’m so excited!” and “I can’t believe it.”
After assuring her for the tenth time that I was excited too, I saw her sprint ahead to tell all her friends about it.
I walked in right as the bell rang. The first thing I spotted was an obviously jealous Annuity next to a beaming Pink Diamond.
Well at least something good came of it.
“Good morning, “River,” Beakington III said.
“Oh hi, Beakington,” I responded through a yawn. “Anything new?”
“Not much,” he replied. “I’m going to shadow my mom tomorrow. She assured me it’ll be interesting, but I’ve always found that to be a tossup year-to-year. And we’re going to start Prench this week. That’s pretty cool. I’ve always wanted to learn another language.”
“I had forgotten about that,” I said while silently appraising the prospect. It was through sheer coincidence that I didn’t need to learn a new language to communicate with the ponies. I guess I had to pay my dues yet in that respect.
Fizzle took to the podium.
“Okay, everypony. Now, I’m sure you’re all excited to have tomorrow off for Career Day.”
The class cheered.
“I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but I suggest you take notes.”
“Awww,” the class collectively groaned.
“Now don’t think of it as homework. On Wednesday we’re going to do a writing assignment based on your experiences, and it will help to have some ideas written down.”
I sighed.
There goes any hopes that I might be excused from this experience. But at least it’ll be everypony there instead of me being booked for a private princess lesson.
The class seemed only slightly placated by the reassurance that it wasn’t homework. Personally, I appreciated the forewarning, which would afford me some time to make something up. I briefly entertained the thought of sharing ideas with Squirt, but my grade had suffered the last time we teamed up. Nonetheless, no writing assignment could top that dreadful cutie mark poem.
Fizzle clapped.
“All right, that’s all for today’s announcements. Without further delay I can turn the class back over to our planner-in-chief.”
Squirt sighed and took to the podium.
“Uhh… okay, everypony do your thing I guess,” he ordered.
That was enough for me and I once more took to painting the backdrop. I concentrated on filling in the outlines other ponies had already painted, but I quickly came to realize that my trees and clouds were clearly inferior and stepped back for a bit. Windy Skies seemed to know what she was doing, so I watched her work for a bit. I ultimately came to the conclusion that I was overthinking the whole working with hooves thing and decided to focus on circular strokes in order to give a sort of abstract flair to the scene.
Something then occurred to me.
“Wait. What scene are we painting exactly?” I asked awkwardly.
“The scene with the tickling tree,” Silver Lining answered.
“Okay, thanks,” I responded.
It did surprise me a little bit that I had done as much as I had without knowing, just following the leader. But in a way, it was a nice change of pace. Around the room, there was a constant low hum of chatter and I peacefully fell into the rhythm of my role. My brushstrokes seemed to sync with the sounds of sewing and hammering. These noises gradually rose in volume and everything else seemed to fade. Slowly I started to hum along.
By the time I had realized what was happening it was too late.
“Working together every day. Work for tomorrow so we can play,” most of the class sang. “Working together’s lots of fun; let’s do our best for everyone.”
“We’re on the costumes and all the clothes. We’ll look our best and strike a pose,” the sewing ponies sang.
“Thank you for your style and skill. Your sewing magic fits the bill,” the chorus sang back.
“Working together every day. Work for tomorrow so we can play. Working together’s lots of fun; let’s do our best for everyone.”
This time the ponies working on the more concrete props sang a verse: “Beaks and wings, accessories. We will make it—anything you please.”
That one was a bit forced. I guess these foals are still learning after all.
“You’re clearly doing all you’re able. From the crowns to the conference table.”
Conference table?
I turned my attention towards that area of the room. Sure enough, there was a broad, foal-sized, unpainted wooden table. The worksmanship even looked decent!
“Working together every day. Work for tomorrow so we can play. Working together’s lots of fun; let’s do our best for everyone.”
“Leading others is a mighty bore. Doing this work is such a chore,” Squirt chimed in unenthusiastically.
“Come now Squirt don’t be a jerk. There’s more to life than dodging work.” The chorus giggled after this line before repeating the refrain.
“Working together every day. Work for tomorrow so we can play. Working together’s lots of fun; let’s do our best for everyone.”
I had to wonder who’s part was next. Would I just be able to lip-sync when my part came? What would I do if I was expected to come up with something. I suppose I could do it. Tempted by the challenge of it, I mulled possible rhymes related to the painting.
“Painting the backdrop we’re almost done. Important work but it’s not fun.” I sang. “Wait—what!”
“Your effort gives the play more splendor. A lifelike tale we will render,” everypony sang.
“No! Really! What happened there!?” I belted out.
Dead silence.
“Aww man, River. You killed another song!" Zephyr Zap complained.
“We had a good thing going there,” Windy Skies agreed.
“And I didn’t even get to sing my part!” Annuity griped, removing her felt draconequus head..
“River that was rude,” Fizzle scolded. “I guess we can’t skip music class today…”
Just about every colt and filly in the room glared at me.
“He does have a reason to be surprised, though,” Pestle noted. “That was a weird falsetto you did there.”
“Yeah, that was weird...” Annuity said, scrutinizing me.
I cleared my throat. “Not sure what happened there,” I said, perhaps trying too hard to sound like a colt.
Fortunately the scrutiny ended there as I was pulled aside by Stardust and company to try on my wings and Tiara. The tiara fit perfectly, while the wings itched slightly. Surprisingly, they were made from chicken feathers and dyed to match my coat. Although Pestle had offered to make another dye potion for the play, the class voted the motion down. A tape-on cutie mark would suffice to identify Zephyr and me as the princesses.
Style then attacked me with a comb. I tried to back away, but the class seemed intent on making me into a filly mannequin. Fortunately the bell saved me, and I was able to escape from Style before she discovered the horn under my bangs.
All I wanted was to find a quiet corner of the playground in which to reflect on becoming an unwitting participant in a song sequence. However, trouble seemed to find me.
“What gives, Annuity! You think you’re better than us, calling us half-foals all the time, but you have a gift sister yourself! You wouldn’t say those things about her,” Blueberry Citrus shouted.
Annuity tossed her bangs to the side. “It’s obviously a very fine distinction that you wouldn’t understand. Obviously, my father provides for me, meaning he loves me the most. But as for Nest Egg, he gives her all sorts of presents and she’s welcome at our home any time. While your dad…”
She directed an incisive stare at Raspberry, who looked down and away.
“I thought so.”
“I—why—you!” From there, Blueberry mumbled angrily some more as he fumbled with a few half-formed insults.
Meanwhile, Raspberry had recovered. “Isn’t that just another way of saying you’re better than us because you’re rich?”
Annuity smiled. “You said it, not me.”
I sighed and retreated towards the schoolhouse. Part of me did want to jump into the fray, but the twins had been among Annuity’s favorite targets long before I had arrived, so I doubted I could change anything. However, as I watched the scene play out to its conclusion, I still felt somewhat guilty about letting Annuity trot all over them.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was on my hooves and walking back towards the twins. Stardust and Style seemed to have the same idea, though and beat me to the spot.
Oh good. They’re probably better at consoling other ponies than I am anyway, I thought.
Though I couldn’t make out the words from a distance, I could tell Stardust was talking fairly quickly. The orange-maned twins were nodding meekly along and looked more confused than anything else.
Oh, of course. I thought to myself before galloping into the mix.
“…and that’s why I think we should team up against Annuity. Because if there’s more of us she will think twice about picking on you.”
I held up a hoof to interject.
“Ah, Leader,” Stardust said. “We were just telling the Citrus twins about our group.” She turned back to the pair of foals. “So what do you say? Are you in?”
The siblings exchanged looks of concern.
“I don’t know…” Blueberry said.
“Yeah, won’t Annuity be even meaner to us if we stand up to her?”
Glancing at Stardust, I could tell she hadn’t considered that. However, it turned out she was pretty good at thinking on her hooves.
“That’s why she doesn’t have to know about it yet!” The young unicorn said.
“And how many members does this so-called alliance have?” Raspberry probed.
“We started at three, and now we’re at five! We hope to keep growing,” Style added.
The twins once more engaged in a silent dialogue.
“We’ll think about it,” Blueberry finally said.
“Great!” Stardust chirped, perhaps choosing to overlook their obvious reluctance. “Tell us when you decide!”
“I don’t know, Stardust. They didn’t seem too enthused,” Style said once the pair was out of earshot.
Stardust shook her head. “Persistence will pay off. You’ll see.” She then looked to me. “Good work, Leader.” With that, the pair of them trotted off.
I looked to my left to make sure they stayed the course before taking after the twins myself. It didn’t take long to catch up, but they slowed and faced me when they heard my hoofbeats.
“Umm… hi,” I said tentatively.
In that moment it occurred to me that I had never been reacquainted with the twins in my River Glade identity.
“We’re still thinking about it,” Raspberry said, impatient.
“No, it’s not that. I—I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
“Huh?” Blueberry said.
“Oh, well, that’s nice…” Raspberry added.
The two of them stared, and I started feeling self-conscious, shuffling my hooves.
“I mean, you know. I know Annuity can say hurtful things sometimes, and I—well, Squirt’s gift sisters are really cool guardsponies. I certainly don’t think anything bad about them.”
Somehow my words were even less impactful than expected.
“Yeah, we know,” Raspberry said, trying her best to hide how dumb she must have thought that sounded.
“Oh, okay. I was just checking on you. Err… I mean—I didn’t want you to think we just wanted to sell you on our alliance.”
“Alright, we get it. Thanks,” Blueberry said, ending the exchange just as the bell rang.
Well, at least Equestria didn’t magically make me better at this touchy-feely stuff.
After suffering through another tedious music lesson and receiving a reminder to take notes from Ms. Fizzle, we were dismissed for the day. I declined to stay after for any games, as I wanted some time to myself. It was only when I got back to my room that it occurred to me that there was not anything I needed to do to prepare.
I went for Lunch in the cafeteria, which was becoming more of a regular thing. In the past, a maid would deliver food to me if I forgot, but I needed to look like less of a VIP and more like a regular exchange student. Still, I tried my best to time my meals in order to avoid Pink Diamond. I got enough of her on the way to school. Today, I ran into Cake Slice.
It seemed to take a lot of effort from her in order to muster the courage to ask me to sit with her, so I felt obliged to accept. We made some small talk, and eventually summer camp came up.
“So I heard Pink Diamond helped you pick your activities. I guess you’re all set then?” I asked.
She looked down.
“Well… actually, don’t tell her I said this, but I wasn’t ready to choose yet. She—she was trying to be helpful, so of course I accepted her help. I’m nervous about some of the activities, but I don’t want to tell her that.” She sighed. “What should I do?”
This filly was too adorable. She pulled out a nurturing part of me and made me want to help her.
“Don’t worry about Pink Diamond,” I said. “It’s your decision. Do what’s right for you.”
“But I don’t have any other ideas,” she murmured. “It wouldn’t be nice to switch out of her suggestions when I’m not sure I’d even like it better.”
I briefly found it amusing that I was about to start giving her advice on activities when I hadn’t picked a single one for myself, but I figured it would be easier to find activities for an actual filly as opposed to a transformed filly like myself.
“Well, what activities are you most worried about? Some must be more palatable than others,” I explained.”
“Well, there’s social dancing…”
“Social dancing—that’s a green one, right?”
Cake Slice nodded. “The catalog says we’re going to learn how to dance in pairs. I’m not sure I’d be able to handle asking another pony to dance. What if they laugh at me? And—also, what if I ask a colt to dance, and he thinks I like him? I don’t think I could handle it if anypony asked me to mingle.”
She actually looked fairly flustered by this. I considered relaying my mingling to her, but I doubted that would help too much. Honestly, if it were me, I’d be worried about giving colts the wrong idea too.
Note to self: cross-out social dancing.
“You’re not the only one struggling with finding a green activity,” I assured her. “Do you not like exercise?”
“It’s not that. It’s just—I don’t want to pick something I’ve never done before. The last thing I want is to drag down the rest of the group.”
“What did you do last time then?”
“Oh—umm… chess.”
Wow. I guess chess really was a soft option for ponies weak on green activities.
I finished off the last of my raisin cookie before answering: “Well, Cake. I might be more athletic than you, but I’ve never done any of the activities before either.”
I panicked briefly at the admission I hadn’t done camp before, but fortunately Bulwark had provided me with my way out.
“What I mean is I did the JRG for my green activities before, but this year it’s only for newbies, so I need to pick something else,” I told Cake.
“So what did you choose?” Cake asked, noticeably encouraged.
I hummed and hawed for a few seconds before cracking a sheepish grin. “Truth to be told: I still haven’t chosen myself. Sorry…”
“No, that’s good!” Cake insisted. “I can just choose what you choose. I mean, that’s okay with you, right?”
I once more felt the strange pressure, courtesy of her large, pleading eyes.
“Sure, I don’t see a problem. But what if I choose something that you don’t like.”
“That’s okay,” Cake explained. “I’ll at least know I’m not the only beginner.”
For a second, I nearly mistook her for Pink Diamond by the pep with which she sprung up and cleared her space.
"I’ll talk to you later, River. Thanks! I have to do some homework now.”
“Oh, okay. See you around,” I replied weakly.
What have I gotten myself into now? I thought as I finished my own meal.
Half an hour later, I heard an unfamiliar knocking on my door.
“Come in,” I said somewhat surprised.
This time a different alicorn princess was my guest.
“Hello, Twilight.”
“Hi, Alice. I heard about your sleepover from Princess Celestia, and I just wanted to say I think it’s really great.”
“Yeah…” I said hesitantly. I was sure Celestia would love my decision to go to Iron Jill’s party, but at least she saw fit not to gloat..
“Anyway, that’s not why I’m here. I came to report the results of a genetic survey the professor and I designed. From a sample size of two-hundred mares and fillies, we can conclude with eighty-two percent certainty that your natural mane color is pink. I have several theories to explain the change, and I personally feel the strongest is—”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I know. My mane’s pink.” I deactivated my ability for emphasis. “So what?”
“You already knew!?” Twilight almost sounded betrayed.
“Not for that long—just since I learned to control this color change thing. I didn’t tell you because I had a vague fear of being swept up in a musical number with you, Pinkie Pie, and Princess Cadance about how being pink is a wonderful thing.”
“That’s an unlikely thing to fear.”
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well, okay it might have happened, but I’d never force you into it.”
I turned around and emptied my saddlebags of all my school supplies. I opened a front pocket and took out my ring and crystal. With only the slightest of reluctance I left Discord’s gift behind. I didn’t want to tempt fate by wearing the second ring, and besides, having three things on my horn was awkward in any event.
Twilight seemed to be waiting for me for some reason, so I looked back at her expectantly.
“There’s actually something even more important, Alice,” she finally said.
I nodded.
“Your initial scans showed nothing abnormal concerning your new ability. And if I didn’t know what to look for, I’d consider it the scan of a normal unicorn filly—with one exception.”
I felt a weird sort of anticipation as a vague fear settled in.
“Go on,” I said.
“Well, I detected trace amounts of synergy between the magic of the three tribes—alicorn magic, in other words.”
“Does that mean I’m at greater risk from stray magic?”
Twilight shook her head. “The opposite, actually. While it would be possible for you to sprout wings and synthesize a gaean duct simultaneously due to some sudden magical event, the energy needed for both combined would be unusually high. It is for this reason I believe you are most likely to experience a gradual emergence of the other tribes’ magics. So it’s a good thing as long as you don’t do anything to try and use pegasus or earth pony abilities. That would have unpredictable results.”
“I see. Thanks for keeping me informed.” I paused to think for a moment. “Though I have to wonder was that really worth coming all the way to Canterlot to tell me?”
Twilight smiled. “I’d say you’re worth it, but no, it’s just a fortuitous arrangement. My friends and I are here to help Luna with a matter that’s… troubling.” Twilight seemed to clamp up there and quickly added, “Don’t worry I’m sure it will turn out all right.”
That was far from reassuring.
“Got it” I said with some finality.
Still, Twilight remained, and I had a feeling she still had a lecture in her.
“This is where you give me the bad news, isn’t it?”
“Far from it,” Twilight chirped. “I just wanted to tell you about my first sleepover in Ponyville.”
She then proceeded to tell me about how one stormy night she, Rarity and Applejack cozied up in the library together. I was surprised how Twilight had to serve as a buffer between the other two back then.
When she had finished, I was finally able to get a word in. “That’s a useful lesson, but I don’t think it’ll apply to me. I’m probably going to be the only one at that party.”
“Why’s that? It’s hardly a sleepover with only one guest.”
“Iron Jill she —she’s not very popular. Most ponies are scared of her, or do their best to ignore her. In the past, nobody has come to the parties her mother has tried to arrange.”
“That’s tough,” Twilight began. “I guess you’ll just have to be the best friend possible.”
“I’ll try,” I said with uncertainty.
With that Twilight excused herself, and not too long later, I departed in turn, Star to my side.
As soon as I set foot on the welcome mat, Star vanished, leaving me to knock. Jill’s residence was on the third floor of an apartment complex, leaving me to speculate about her family’s financial status. It took a minute for me to get an answer when Jill herself got the door.
“Iron Jill welcomes you, River Glade,” Jill greeted. “You shouldn’t have come.”
I flinched slightly at the unusual greeting. Was she being hospitable or not?
“Hello, Iron Jill. You don’t need to worry about me,” I said diplomatically. “This party fit my schedule perfectly, so I figured I might as well check it out.”
“Come in. Iron Jill doesn’t know what lron Jill can do with little ponies, but Iron Jill will try.”
Following her in, the first thing I realized was my estimate of her economic status was completely off-base. I estimated this apartment could fit Squirt’s entire house inside—at least in terms of square-footage. The ceiling was higher than any building I had been in with the exception of the castles. Jill led me past a mostly chrome kitchen area adorned with granite countertops.
“Are you hungry?” Iron Jill asked bluntly.
“No, I just ate. Thank you,” I replied.
The minotaur girl gestured towards the pantry. “Iron Jill’s got lots of snacks. Help yourself.”
“Good to know.”
Silence hung on the air as Jill and I took a seat in a nearby den area of the same room.
Compelled to make small talk, I brought up the thing that was most distressing at the moment: “Sorry about interrupting the class’s song today. I guess I didn’t think my part was that good.” I was willing to reluctantly participate in pony songs, but I drew the line at unwitting participation.
“Iron Jill is happy you interrupted the song. Iron Jill hates singing. Iron Jill didn’t know what she would sing regarding promoting the play.”
I was wondering what Annuity and the others were doing over there…
I heard the sound of keys jingling and the door flung open.
“Jill, I’m home! I got off early, so I stopped and bought some of your favorite soup. So we can have that for dinner tonight and—”
The moment I locked eyes with the adult minotaur, she dropped the shopping bags and her eyes went wide. Before I could comprehend what was happening, she closed the distance between us and wrapped me in a hug.
“Why hello there, little pony! Aren’t you just the cutest thing. Did you come for Jill’s party? That’s so thoughtful of you”
She continued to stroke me, and I had to fight every impulse to start purring. To my mixture of pleasure and dismay, there was something magical about a minotaur’s hands.
“You see, Jill,” the adult minotaur said, “all you needed to do was keep trying and trying and now you’ve made a pony friend.”
She suddenly released me.
“Oh, that’s right! Ponies need sugar. I’ll bake some cookies right away!”
She released me and make her way noisily to the kitchen area.
“No, really that’s okay I don’t need cookies—” I tried to interject.
“You’ll love them—I’m sure!” Jill’s mother insisted. “All the ponies at the embassy love my chocolate chip cranberry cookies. Jill, why don’t you show your friend your room?”
“Okay, follow Iron Jill,” the young minotaur prompted.
“Jill, what did I tell you about talking like your father? Referring to yourself in the third person is completely unladylike!”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Jill recited. “Follow me, River.”
I meekly obeyed as I tried to process what I had just learned.
In the meantime, I observed that Jill’s room was easily twice the size of Squirt’s. It had it’s own private bathroom, a bed better sized for Jill’s proportions, and a broad window offering a view of the streets of Canterlot below. I keyed in on her headboard which was adorned with dolls of various species—ponies, minotaurs, deer, yaks, zebras, griffins and more. Placed in between the dolls were several trophies of varying sizes. That still didn’t distract from my curiosity about Jill’s speech patterns, but I didn’t want to to be seen as nosy.
“So what are the trophies for?” I asked with mostly feigned interest.
“Oh, those? I won them at chess tournaments.”
Chess again? Not just with Cake Slice and Squirt, but it had also come up in Xelning’s book. I wondered if it might be culturally important to minotaurs somehow.
“Wow. You have quite a lot. I didn’t expect you to play chess. That well I mean.” Unfortunately, my last-minute edit didn’t change the fact that I had put my hoof in my mouth.
“It’s something I’ve done since I was little. Mom always encouraged me to practice. She had read some study that it made calfs smarter. And for the first few years, I just did it because she told me to. It’s sort of grown on me, but it’s still not my favorite thing to do. But I’m too invested in it to back out now, anyway.”
“So you’re pretty good then—not that that’s surprising I mean.”
Jill sighed. “I know I haven’t fought the perception that I’m a dumb taur, but since you already know how I talk at school is fake, I may as well tell you the truth. You see, my dad has always stressed that minotaurs should be assertive and to the point. That’s the reason he talks like I do at school—it makes a statement and basically dares others to correct him.”
I smiled, guilty. “I’m sorry. I completely bought into that perception of you.”
Jill laughed. “What, did you think I just didn’t know grammar?”
I averted my gaze. “Sorry…”
“It’s fine,” Jill said. “I’m the one that chose to present myself that way.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, bracing myself for backlash. I was prying a bit much.
“At my old school, the ponies would make fun of me, calling me a dumb taur regardless of how well I was doing in school. When I arrived at Canterlot First, I knew it would happen again if I didn’t do something. So I copied my dad and tried to come off as tough as possible. I thought maybe that way ponies would let me be.”
I supposed that way of speaking was intimidating in a certain way, but somehow that explanation didn’t completely satisfy.
“I can understand why you would want to be forceful, but that’s not the same as pretending to be dumb. I mean, you could have been assertive without underselling your intelligence.”
Jill sighed. “It’s another taur thing. My dad always told me that reading books was a waste of time and that doing things is more important than thinking them. But my mother was actually unusual in that regard: she’s always encouraged me to build on my brainpower as a way to move up in the world. Flaunting it, however, is completely unladylike.”
Her explanation made a lot of sense. Somehow, I found it all eerily familiar.
I heard a single knock before Iron Jill’s mom proceeded to open the door. “Sorry to interrupt. The cookies will be a while, so I thought you two might want a snack.”
On the plate were a couple of sticks of celery with peanut butter and raisins on top. The combination confused me, but I did like all of the components individually.
We both thanked her and took a bite. It tasted exactly as expected, but that wasn’t such a terrible thing.
“Thanks, Mom,” Jill said.
“Yes, thank you,” I repeated.
The adult taur once more stroked my withers. “You’re very welcome, dear. Anything you want that I can provide just name it. Any friend of Jill’s is always welcome here.” She continued petting me for several seconds more before adding, “All right, I’ll leave you two to it. Just holler if you need anything.”
With a wink, she vanished around the corner.
Jill chuckled uncomfortably. “Sorry about that. My mom really loves ponies.”
“I could tell…”
“In a way, it makes her good at her job, but it can be distracting.”
As I chewed, I imagined the minotaur trying to pet Celestia. Somehow, it wasn’t as ridiculous as I’d have thought.
The silence persisted, and I looked to Jill. She seemed just as uncomfortable with it as I was.
“So… now what?” I finally ventured.
Jill shrugged. “I really don’t know. No one has ever come before.”
I once more felt a pang of sympathy for the taur girl. Even though I had already made myself show up, I wanted to do more.
“Oh, I know. We can play a game of chess,” I said, voicing the first non-terrible idea I came up with.
Surprisingly Jill didn’t jump on it and said, “I don’t know. What ponies don’t get about chess is that there’s a pretty big skill gap between tournament players and casual players.”
I believed her, but desperate for an icebreaker I wasn’t deterred.
“It can’t be that bad, can it? I’m not a complete beginner.”
“Checkmate,” Jill mercifully declared fifteen minutes later.
Fifteen minutes was a bit of a stretch, actually. I had proceeded to lose most of my chessponies—the pawns were horse-shaped, while the knights resembled a guardspony’s helmet—within the first five minutes. Jill then let me capture most of her extra pieces for free until all that remained were the kings and her bishop and knight. I thought I might have a chance of surviving, but she methodically pushed my king into one corner before herding and checkmating me in the other corner.
“I—I don’t get it,” I said meekly, humbled by the experience.
“You lost the moment you let me fork your minor pieces to win a knight for a pawn. After that I thought I may as well practice the knight and bishop mate. If I messed it up, you would’ve drawn, so it’s a win-win.
“So you used me for target practice basically?”
“Essentially, yes.”
I laughed nervously, while tracing circles on the carpet with my forehoof.
“Well, I guess I can’t blame you. That way you at least get something out of it. So that bishop and knight thing is kind of hard?”
She nodded. “Very.”
Jill’s mom, Steel Pact, then barged with the cookies. I was grateful for the interruption truthfully.
Iron Jill took a tentative bite out of her first cookie. “I don’t understand why ponies like sugary foods so much. They’re just too sweet.”
I actually liked these cookies, but I was eager to find something relatable. “I’m not too big on cookies either, Jill. I have to be reminded to eat my sugar.”
Unfortunately that didn’t jump start the conversation.
“River, you can go if you want.”
“Huh? W—what are you talking about”
“You don’t need to be here. I appreciate that you’re trying to be nice to me, but with just the two of us, it feels kind of pathetic. It’s not your fault; I appreciate you trying.”
This was my chance. Part of me didn’t understand why I didn’t seize on the opportunity. However, there was a stronger compulsion to stay, and choosing to leave right then was even more unpalatable.
“Jill, I’m not just peddling vague pity for you. I care—well, the reason I think I care is because I can relate with feeling out of place. At my old school, there were many things that were done differently. We had to memorize a lot of… stuff. All the other students bought into this and followed the teacher, but I felt wrong—different. Occasionally, we were given bona fide knowledge, and I would devour it as if starved. I wanted to beg for more—to learn more, but when I did, I was reprimanded. And eventually I stopped trying. I guess after hearing you explain your dilemma, I’m even more convinced that we’re alike.”
Jill seemed to be mulling over my words carefully.
Suddenly, I felt exposed. This was an insight that I didn’t even know I had, and I had entrusted Jill with it. There was no guarantee that she wouldn’t turn it against me. And before I even began to confront this rationally, a second wind of fear coursed through me when I began to wonder this compassion was a creation of Equestria in its scheme to make me conform.
I don’t usually do this. I—why. There’s no benefit for me telling her…
Instead, Jill reached over and started to pet me. Fortunately, she was less intrusive than her mother, and I found myself leaning into it.
Ponyfeathers. Minotaur hands are amazing.
“Thanks, River,” Jill said, “but I’m okay with my role in the class. I didn’t mean to critique my parents’ rearing of me in front of you, but it’s good to know I’m not the only one to face what I’m going through. But unless you have more heartfelt revelations on hand, I doubt we can keep this up all night.”
Somehow I wasn’t convinced that she was happy playing dumb, but I held my tongue. Putting a hoof to my chin, I considered ways to salvage the party. The solution I came up with, while obvious, would require even more uncharacteristic behavior from me.
“What if I invite some more ponies?” I offered.
“That won’t work. My mom already tried everypony in class.”
I smiled. “Your mom invited them, but if I invite them, we may have more luck.”
Jill looked like she was fishing for an excuse.
“I guess we can try, but how would we deliver the invitations? And who would respond to an invitation this late?”
“To the latter, I happen to know that the Canterlot custom is being flexible. As for communications, we can ask Star.”
“Who?”
I walked across the room and opened Jill’s window.
“Star!” I called. “Star!”
Reflexively, I turned around in hopes of catching her in the impossible act of appearing behind me.
“Star?” I tried at normal volume.
“Yes, River?” the mare finally answered, fluttering down from the roof.
“I know you’re supposed to keep an eye on me, but is there any way you can invite some more ponies to come to this party?”
Star beamed at me. I could tell she wanted to praise me but was holding back. “Who should I invite?” she finally asked matter-of-factly.
“I don’t know. Just the ponies I know like Bulwark, Cake Slice, Stardust, Style, Beakington III, Thaumaturgical—”
“Wait. Thaumaturgical and Beakington?” Jill asked, shooting me a look I couldn’t decipher.
“Fair enough,” I conceded. “Those two aren’t for everyone.”
“Mind if I step in for a second?” Star asked Jill.
“Sure,” said Jill.
The pegasus squeezed in through the window and extended a hoof to the minotaur girl.
“Hello. My name is Star Chart. I supervise River as part of the exchange program. You must be Iron JIll. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh hi. Nice to meet you too ,” Jill said shaking Star’s hoof. “I didn’t know exchange ponies get their own guards.”
“You’ve got it backwards,” Star said coyly, hugging me. “I’m not his guard; he’s my adorable exchange pony. But I’m willing to do this favor for him since he’s being so thoughtful.”
I scowled at her. I was fine with her heaping silent praise on me, but her making it explicit made me feel all the more like a child.
However, before I could object, she saluted and defenestrated herself.
It only later occurred to me that Star must have known the addresses of all my friends offhand. That mare was frighteningly thorough.
“You were saying?” I gloated to Jill after a loud rapping on the door.
Eager to admire my handiwork, I slid back into the living room to greet our additional guests. Jill’s mother’s jaw was on the floor as Stardust and Sunny Style trotted in, unknowingly avoiding her smothering attention.
“Hi River!” Stardust chirped. “When we heard you were here, we changed our minds about this party real quick.”
Pact froze and slowly spun around to face me.
“You… you invited some of your friends?”
“Yeah...” I answered, blushing. “I’m sorry I should have asked first.”
“Are you kidding!?” Pact picked me up and twirled me around. “That’s wonderful! You’re an amazing friend. Thank you! Thank you!”
She put me down and I walked zigzag like a wind-up toy, completely dizzy.
“Oh that’s right!” Steel Pact said, hammering a fist into her palm. “I’ve got to buy more soup. Don’t mind me. You girls have fun!”
It was only after she sped out the door that I remembered I had to correct her grouping me in with the fillies. Stardust and Style were already eyeing me with interest.
“Heh. Someone else thinks that I’m a filly. I should probably cut my hair at this point.”
Stardust and Style exchanged a look and laughed.
“Of course you’re a filly, River. You wouldn’t have been invited to a girls’ sleepover otherwise.” Style finally offered.
“Yeah, half the class is wondering if you’re a filly; this just confirms it,” Stardust agreed.
Stunned into silence, I tried my best to process what they had just told me. If true, I would be required to reconstruct my entire persona before the class. What would I tell them? How could I begin to explain why I had pretended to be a colt?
“I think her expression speaks for itself,” Stardust declared after looking me over.
“Huh?” I intoned.
“I was bluffing,” Stardust explained. “I was seventy percent sure, but your reaction closes the case.”
I looked down and blushed, feeling exposed once more.
“Can you not tell the others? Please,” I pleaded.
“Why is that?” Style asked. “I get that you wanted us to think you were a colt, but why?”
I swallowed hard. “It’s… long and… complicated.”
The friends exchanged a look.
“Okay then,” Stardust said, patting me on the withers. "As fellow AAA members, we’ll take your word for it. Though if you want to keep it a secret much longer, you may be out of luck.”
“Okay, you have my attention,” I conceded. “Why?”
“Annuity and Pestle have a little wager going,” Stardust explained.
“It’s a bet to see who can prove you’re a filly first,” Style added.
I sighed. “What gave it away?”
“Hmm, what indeed?” Stardust mused to herself. “I suppose nothing gave it away, but you’ve been looking prettier lately. Some of the colts have even commented on it.”
“That settles it: I’m cutting my mane...” I commented.
“Don’t! It looks great!” Style said before looking to Jill. “Umm… you’ve been quiet, Jill. Do you have anything to add as the hostess?”
“Iron Jill knew River Glade was a filly. She smells like one.”
I froze in place.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked.
Jill shrugged. “It was none of Iron Jill’s business. River Glade can be a colt if she wants.”
“You know, Jill, you’re right!” Stardust said, mirroring my admiration for Jill’s simple wisdom. “As much as I would like to rally around River as our new queen bee, she’s probably not comfortable with that. I guess we’ll have to wait until she’s ready to tell us herself why she pretended to be a colt for so long, right?”
I had to hand it to the minotaur girl. I was liking her more and more. Still, if I had had to face a reckoning regarding my public image, I saw no reason why I should be alone in that regard.
“Jill, you don’t need to talk like that. Stardust and Style are good ponies, so you can drop the forceful persona.”
“Iron Jill has no idea what River Glade means!” Jill said defiantly.
I stood my ground. “Jill, please. They were nice enough to come to your party. Give them a chance.”
“Ir—I suppose I can.”
“Woah…” Stardust remarked. “I wasn’t expecting that. What about you, Style?”
“I thought that was just how minotaurs talked,” Style confessed. “Not that they are dumb I mean, but because… I don’t know.”
“It’s fine,” Jill assured her with a smile. “You’re not entirely wrong about it just being a taur thing.”
I then had a sudden, benevolent idea that I know Celestia would have been proud of.
“Stardust likes to learn, too, Jill. You two should try talking about what we’re studying in school.”
“I don’t know,” Jill said. “I’m not as studious as Stardust is.”
“Don’t be shy,” Stardust replied with encouragement. “There’s plenty for us to talk about. For instance what do you think of the cutie mark poem, Jill? Wait, do you have to do one? I’m not sure how you could. Not to be rude or anything.”
“Ms. Fizzle let me just write about something I’m good at,” Jill replied. “Mine’s about reading; I’m mostly done with it.”
“Really? What types of books do you like to read?” Stardust asked.
“Mostly minotaur-authored novels. You probably wouldn’t know any of them.”
“Makes sense,” said Stardust.
Silence again. I began to regret volunteering to be a facilitator.
“How about you show them your room, Jill?” I suggested on a whim.
She took the suggestion, but after some initial remarks about how big the room was, the conversation started to falter once more. I considered bringing up the day at school, but I hardly wanted to direct the spotlight back on my brief singing role. Still, this was preferable to the conversation looping back to my gender, so lacking any other topic, I decided to risk it.
“Preparing for the play sure is hard work,” I commented. “And I got the easy job.”
“I find it fun,” Stardust said. “Making the costumes really lets me unleash my inner artist. I’m just about done with Gildeus’s attire. You’ll look great in it, Jill—I promise. It does stink having to work with Bubble, though. She’s completely monopolizing the princesses’ regalia. While she is better than me, she doesn’t have to be so arrogant.”
“I’m honestly amazed that you can make the costumes all by yourselves. You’re so good with that sewing machine at such a young age. And that other group making a table by hand! It looks really good,” I lauded.
“I’m floored as well,” Jill admitted. “I don’t have any skills like that. I’m envious, really.”
“It will come in time for both of you. You’re only thirty, River, so you’re right at the age where your parents will start teaching you these life skills. And Jill, you’ll be an adult much sooner than us, and you’ll have plenty more time to learn. I’ve been practicing my sewing for about a dozen years. And Bubble has been doing it even longer—though she also happens to have crafts as her special talent. You two are fine. Everypony learns at their own pace anyway.”
“My mother is a diplomat. I don’t think she’s taught me much diplomacy. And my Dad—well, he’s a self-employed motivational speaker. My mom says there’s no future in that, so I try not to copy him too much.”
Another period of silence suddenly morphed into an ominous energy. Excitement engulfed Sunny Style.
“This talk is nice and all, but can we get to what we all really came here for?” Style asked.
“Yeah,” Stardust said, showing the same ominous eagerness. “There’s enough of us here, so it’s about time we do what we fillies do at sleepovers. Do you have the goods, Jill?”
“I do,” the minotaur answered, imbibing some of their enthusiasm.
“Wait! I’m not ready. I—I’m not recovered! I already had to do that less than a week ago,” I protested.
Style grabbed me by my mane and dragged me to the table in the den.
“No excuses,” Stardust chanted happily. “Don’t worry we’ll go easy on you.”
I almost cried tears of exasperation.
Anything but gossip! I’m not sure I’ll be able to go back after sharing inner secrets at a filly sleepover!
Mercifully, albeit two hours later than I would have liked, Steel Pact called us to dinner. Her soup was easily the most banal thing I had ever had in Equestria. It was literally just plain tomato soup with some seasoning tossed in. The bread we were given to dip was actually better plain. None of this detracted from my companions’ cheerfulness in the slightest. Meanwhile, my head was spinning and about ready to burst from unwanted information.
“So how did it go girls? Did you get anything good?”
“Sure did!” Style said. “I’m not even sure which part was my favorite there were so many.”
“I’ll say,” Stardust agreed. “We tried our best to go easy on River, but we all kinda got carried away. We ended up taking a lot more than River wanted to provide for sure.”
“Girls, she’s new to this! It’s not nice to take advantage of her like that,” Pact scolded.
I whimpered. It didn’t console me much to have an advocate after the fact.
“While that was… an experience. I doubt I’d want to do that again… ever,” I said, exhausted.
“Cheer up, little pony,” Pact said. “Everyone has a first time. You’ll get better. You just need to become acquainted with the flow of the game—learn not to give up needless points by letting others see through you.”
I nodded weakly. There really was something of an exact science to it, although that didn’t stop me from taking it personally.
“You did fine for your first time, River. When you started out you didn’t know a taatsu from a toitsu.”
“I—I still don’t…What are those again?”
The others just laughed.
“Did you see that suji trap I pulled off?” Stardust boasted. “I went for the penchan wait to try and get somepony to throw me the dora.”
“I knew it was a bad idea to cut the nine pin. I only did it to keep my hon’itsu tenpai,” said Jill.
“I actually got to ryanpeikou iishanten that same hand,” Style added. “How often do you see that?”
“Can you guys please speak Equish?” I begged.
“It’s not that hard, River,” Style insisted. “You’ll get better at your next sleepover for sure. You just need to get some memorize the basic yaku, learn defensive techniques like betaori and suji, and get down basic tile efficiency.”
I turned to Steel Pact, seeking validation. “Am I missing something? Why mahjong? Why is it a staple of filly sleepovers?”
Jill’s mom chuckled. “It’s a long story, but it basically boils down to one Canterlot noble bringing back a set from Neighpon. She invited a few friends over, and it took off like wildfire among upper-class ladies.”
Maybe Stardust and Squirt are more alike than I thought. Or maybe fillies love games just as much as colts do.
I was sure I was right, but I was also fairly certain the fillies would deny this commonality.
“Ahh. Thanks for the meal,” Stardust said with a straight face.
“Yes, thank you,” Style echoed.
“Yeah, what they said,” I said playfully.
“All right!” Stardust declared, seizing the initiative. “I figure we can get in a hanchan or two before bed, so let’s get to it!”
“More mahjong?” I protested. “Haven’t I lost enough for tonight?”
“River’s right, Stardust,” Style agreed. “We don’t want too much of a good thing. Besides, we haven’t talked about colts yet!”
I froze in place and quickly rationalized choosing the lesser of two evils. “So yeah, mahjong! Let’s play another han-thingy,” I suggested.
The others laughed, seeing right through me. Thankfully they didn’t call me out on it.
Despite being told not to “feed,” I dealt in round after round, often ending the game early by running out of points altogether.
Fortunately, Jill’s mom was strict when it came to bedtime, so she was able to cut short my tile-based suffering. Once we were in bed no talking was allowed either, so I was able to curl up peacefully, pondering in disbelief how easily they had accepted me as a filly.
Barely avoiding a jet of lava from the pit below, I landed cleanly on a giant floating mushroom before readying myself to jump to the next in rhythm. I continued to jump nimbly from mushroom to mushroom across the sea of lava, occasionally picking up the socks that had been scattered all over the level. Finally, the pony hut I had been looking for finally came into sight. However, the small obsidian island was more than a single hop away.
Trusting my partner, I galloped towards the gap and jumped as far as I could. Predictably I only made it halfway across the gap. On cue, at the height of my jump, Philomena poked her head out of my backpack and started flapping her wings. Despite the weight disparity between us, her strong wings managed to barely carry us across the lava. Breathing a sigh of relief, I knocked twice on the door of the pony hut.
As expected, the familiar brown stallion greeted me in the doorway.
“Good job finding me. I know my houses aren’t in the most hospitable environments, but I appreciate you always taking the time to visit me.”
“Enough with the small talk, Pony Boy. Cough up the new move,” Philomena urged.
“I’ll get to it, Chicken Crisp,” he taunted in turn. “For pony’s sake. I give you the moves you need to progress through the game. You would think that would merit a little respect, but no. For this new move I will need thirty-five socks, a golden banana, this level’s friendship coin, and a ham and pickle sandwich.”
“Here you are,” I said, emptying the items he listed out of my backpack.
“Man, with all these collectibles, I feel like I’m back in the nineties,” Philomena complained.
“Thank you,” the brown stallion said. “Now, this new move will make use of Dodo’s fire abilities. Simply press L and then B to shoot a fireball loogie.”
“That’s disgusting. how did you come up with that one!?” Philomena protested.
“I figured since you mostly just ride along in that backpack, you could do worse than pitching in a little bit,” the stallion chided.
“Yeah, come to think of it, you mostly just weigh me down. Why do I need you again?” I joshed.
“I’m your double-jump, Kiddo,” she countered. “You wouldn’t get anywhere without me.”
“But I’m an alicorn…” I noted. “I have my own wings…”
“Well there’s also my sardonic wit, and uhh… hey, I think I see some more socks over there!”
The brown stallion sighed while slowly closing his door. “No amount of socks is worth putting up with you two.”
Fortunately, Philomena stayed quiet for the rest of the journey, and I jumped between platforms, beat up baddies and collected socks in peace. Eventually, I came to Annuity the Troll’s toll bridge and gave her sixty-five socks in order to access the level’s boss. Walking through the gigantic double-doors, my heart was pounding. Suddenly a sinking sensation developed in my stomach as I was transported what felt like a great distance.
In Ms. Fizzle’s Ponyville classroom, I found myself anxiously doodling circles on my scratch paper as my precious time ticked down. To my side, Lyra Heartstrings looked just as confused as I was, idly flipping her papers over. Meanwhile my other neighbor, Filthy Rich, was trying to surreptitiously bribe Ditzy Doo.
“A test! I didn’t know we had a test!” Pinkie called out. “And I’m naked!”
Everypony shushed her.
“Nopony told there there was a test! I didn’t study! Of course I never really studied for tests and I always did fine, but that was in the past, and I haven’t taken a test since I was a filly. Why would I be taking a test now!? Does it have something to do with the ice cream social just now? Is the test about ice cream? I’m not sure I can name more than three hundred and fifty-two flavors off the top of my head. What if I don’t pass? Will Sugarcube Corner fire me!?”
A slender, mist-like blue tendril tapped her on the withers.
She turned around with a smile. “Oh, hi, Mr. Blue Smoke Monster.”
Her mane and tail suddenly straightened and shot straight up as she galloped away out the door. I was overcome by an unnatural fear as well and took off after her.
Strangely happy music played with the monster hot on our tails as we made our way down a never-ending hallway. We came to a section with eight doors, and Pinkie and I chose doors at random. However, regardless of which door we chose, we somehow ended coming out of one of the other doors into the same hallway. Our roles even reversed for a five second span, and somehow we ended up chasing the monster.
When I realized this I tried to turn around on a dime and ended up tripping. A blue smoke tendril pinned me down, and the monster’s body obscured all light from around me.
When I came to, I found myself in my room at the castle. Recovering quickly, I barely registered the strange shift in scenery. Tiphoofing around, nothing seemed amiss at first, but when I approached the mirror, I came to a full stop.
From head to hoof, I was completely decked out in princesswear. It resembled my costume from the play, only it was real. From tiara to horseshoes I looked completely prim and proper. I was even sporting a beautiful pair of earrings and a necklace.
Knocking in her characteristic manner before opening the door, Star greeted me with a smile.
“Princess Alice, we need to get you ready. We have a full day ahead of us. You have a spa date to keep this morning; then we need to get you fitted for a dress by Rarity, which will leave us just enough time to take you to the beautician.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the blue smoke monster slip out the window.
As Star picked me up by the neck, I jolted awake, panting.
That sure was a weird nightmare. I thought. For a moment there, it felt like more than that.
I shrugged it off. Surely it was nothing to worry about.
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I'm a child sometimes, I swear...
PS: the word 'ball' starts looking really weird after the fifth or so iteration.
8551732
your method seems to have worked! Yay!!!
And the secret spreads a bit more...
I was really hopping Bulwark would show up as they were talking about colts.
KAZO- i mean, PHILOMENA!
I see what you did there.
What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Oh god, River's become a meme at school
Now all that's missing is an old stallion asking "Are you a colt? Or are you a filly?"
Loved the chapter. Enjoying how Alice is slowly progressing to an alicorn. Something else you might pay attention to is how her changes affect her mentally. I don't mean about Alice acting like a pony or a filly but, instead, like a foal. With her age constantly regressing towards a foal, it would make sense that her mind would slowly regress as well. For example, she might start to take joy in foal-like activities that previously wouldn't have caused her to bat an eye or she could start to develop some irrational fears, such as a fear of the dark, that would put her at odds with herself as she tries to fight it.
Something else interesting you could do is have Alice's wings come in before the play and have use them insteadd of the cardboard wings. Also, will Pestle ever find out more about Alice, or was that just a one-shot suspicion.
Loved the Nightmare Moon bit at the end. Can't wait to see what you do with it.
8554343
Following with the regression, she could realize that she's slowly slipping in complex thought as time passes. Going through a "Benjamin Button" scenario would even mean her brain is also going backwards, all of her efforts to adjust to the school curriculum like remembering math as base 23 will just be garbage. Certain plans and charades around certain people are lost.
Shit, now it's just sad...
The whole "being a foal" arc might as well be hashed over or time skipped, the story's been following her perspective, once her ego "dies" and restarts, it'll be interpreted through a new perspective.
He's losing his mind, plain and simple. It's stopped being silly awhile ago and has now become concerning, key in point that others see him as a full filly and that shocked him badly while they laughed it off. If he doesn't come clean about himself before it's irreversible...
Good to see another chapter and will certainly be looking forward to see the next one too. was the part with the brown stallion and Philomina a dream?
8554403
That's a rather grim way of looking at the progression of the story. Makes me wonder if it's really nature or nurture that's causing the slow changes. Hanging out with kids all day, going to school for kids, being treated as a kid... after awhile, you're gonna start thinking like a kid. I see the same thing happening here. As for regression, that is, losing intelligence, why? Aren't the highest in command supposed to be taught everything? It's not just for laughs that royal youth gets the "finest" educators-- well, finest everything. Compared to commoner school, I'd expect the princess-to-be to get hounded by professors and such. And who's to say alicorn brain anatomy isn't more efficient than human? Ok, we lost our dexterous digits but gained magic which might be a better trade than naysayers will admit to. TK can be substituted for digits allowing you to do more with practice-- Rarity's ability to control dozens of [small] objects simultaneously must take some freakish brain power that the best human jugglers would love to know. Throw in wings and now you have to think in three dimensions when flying as opposed to a mere two dimensions while running around.
Not saying alicorns are better than humans, just their brain might be more efficient because it has to deal with all three tribes versus one. (Ok, ok, one on one, an alicorn is definitely better than a human, but alicorns are OP anyway. Nerf plz)
8554744
You were a bit passionate on the argument and I can understand the morbidity to my speculation. I'm just reminding the fact that, while Twilight and the doctor are indeed making progress in trying to safeguard her ego, her fundamental sense of self, the safety measures to keep Alice away from as much magical shenanigans as possible are still failing on occasion.
The ever so often bout of "SURPRISE! MAGIC TO THE FACE!" moments that catch everyone by, well, surprise. Always makes up for the times she's not exposed and brings about a change, be it minor or significant. She's already getting smaller, weaker, younger, sometimes catching herself slipping into fits of "immaturity" or lapses of femininity. Sure we could say essential wiring in the head is what's causing it but even that too is being affected by the regression, alicorn brain or not, it's up to the author to see if Twi's efforts are on time to help her retain her ego through the dicier portions of the transition, even if it means they'll be fighting against Harmony's machinations.
Either way, I find that sense of uncertainty interesting. The fact Alice has survived and resisted for so long, always brings with it the moments of backlash. Change can come with any form of conformity. Being open with feelings, taking charge or responsibility for someone or a group. Harmony will always be there, ready to strike.
8554558
It's not just the mental age regression that's concerning and uncomfortable. There's also the way Harmony (?) seems to censor everypony's perceptions and thoughts, which is apparent during the supervillain sections. Not even Celestia is immune. Having yourself permanently mentally handicapped is not something nice to look forward to if Alice continues to naturalize.
8554914
True. I have the bad feeling about later. I mean, when he first started turning into a filly I thought: "Okay, well Harmony isn't malicious right, so they might find a way to help him somehow." Then I remembered this is about a male getting turned into a filly so that was a bit wrong to think. However now, I have the bad feeling that Harmony is being malicious in a GOOD way, if it can be taken like that. As you said, ponies around his transformations are merely taking it with a grain of salt, meaning while the major princess' are concerned, the majority don't care. Also, I have the sneaking suspicion that by the end of this, instead of him being "himself" again,
he'll be a permanent filly with no memory of his transformation and smile it off like the controlled ponied of "Our Town"...
8554403
I might not have explained myself as well as I should have. I didn't mean for Alice to slowly forget who she is and her past life as her mind slowly regresses. I know that will eventually happen, but the story has it written so that the princesses will somehow store his memories so that he won't lose them when he fully regresses. I figured that Alice would then grow up as a foal and when she was mature enough to handle it, the princesses would show her the memories.
What I was implying was that her emotions could slowly regress to those of a foal, so that while she might mentally be an adult, emotionally and physically, she'll be a foal. What this means is that she'd still have her intellect and personality, but the way she reacts to things will be more childlike, such as developing an irrational fear or perhaps allowing a lullaby to put her to sleep.
great update. Still don't get the ages of the children, it just doesn't make sense to me but i can somewhat ignore it if i pretend they are all in the 10yr old ranges lol
8554959
Ah, that does seem like a competent method of "saving" if all else fails. Since this story does love to play on tropes from various sources, taking from asian light novels, a pseudo-transmigration-esque will be a fine idea. Alice will still be whoever she'll be now but infused with the memories of her past.
It also makes sense that she'll sometimes lapse out of character out of nowhere, like what's been happening recently.
why do you always have to end on a cliff hanger
8554774
Another facet that complicates this is that change is natural and all things being equal, it's to be expected. We might call it growing up, maturing, or just fitting in-- the last option is what this whole story is doing. You, me, everyone reading this, are not the same mind we were in the past. The effect is even more pronounced in youth which our human, turned alicorn, is going through. I'd really like to know if he never went to Equestria, would he still be questioning his identity or just ignore it as "growing up"?
Does he/she still have to worry about losing themselves to a new body? Sure, go for it if it'll make him feel better. Eh, maybe I'm too easy going and working myself into a bubbly froth over drama. Life's too short to hate and despair, enjoy it while you can and try to be a good person.
8554177
It's all in good fun. Then again, there aren't really any synonyms I could use without it looking weird
8554093
Believe me: Bulwark's jealous. From a story perspective, I think I left her out because her knowledge of River's secret would have complicated things a bit.
8554343
Too many things are strange about River for Pestle to give up just yet. I have the wings coming in on a fairly defined timeline, though that may not be impossible if I change things around. River has one more party to attend in the meantime. Although it would be pretty evil to have Alice ascend in front of everypony at Annuity's birthday bash
8554774
Yes, that was a dream.
8554914
Actually that "censorship" is the work of the world's general silliness. There's also Love, which enforces romantic cliches.
8554938
I don't mind saying that I won't mind-wipe my protagonist. That device is only truly viable if you're writing horror or clop. However, the big debate underlying a lot of this is how many of the changes are River's own decision and how many are her being changed.
8555316
You can be fairly safe treating it like that. All you really need to know is that River's current age is the second youngest in her class, while Bulwark is nearly an adult.
8554660
8556483
8554959
Don't mind me. I'm just busy loving this discussion
8555598
I do it to prevent the chapters from being 30,000 words long. Also, it lets me procrastinate on writing certain scenes
8557676
However, the big debate underlying a lot of this is how many of the changes are River's own decision and how many are her being changed.
Exactly what I'm chatting about; the whole Nature versus Nurture debate. The former is out of anyone's control and that makes it scary, if not horrifying to some. Nurture is just moving to a new place and mimicking the natives (I'm strange in that I never picked up the New England accent while growing up there and I will probably never take on the Southern accent now that I live in down here in the bible belt).
8557676
I think you got me and Mix-up, mixed up
I want the scene that Alice purring when Alice's sister pet her.
Just tell them truth ... at least part of turth , Alice.
Not enough.
So, tell the thing to class is not terrible , just tell them.
Besides , you are becoming younger too, you can not hide forever.
========
Wonder .., will Alice tell Beakington III and Bulwark about she is becoming younger.
And it will be easy to play role as Celestia for the play when Alice grows wings and she can change color.
8557676
I just figured that Alice would manage to make it through the current school year while managing to hide her regressing age and during the summer break, she'd finish regressing. From there, I suppose, if you wanted, you could end the story and start a sequel that detailed Alice's new life as a foal and princess.
8558012
So like a New Game+
The end of a character and the journey of the person that takes their place? I don't see a problem to the main plot, it does however make the overall progression and end of the subplot in Alice's home dimension awkward if she's ever to return.
Unless the whole point of it was to show that humans can eventually decide on their own, as a whole, to accept changing their species, thus opening the eventual plot progression of doing a mass exodus to Equestria, seeing as they might not be able to attend the board meeting on time. Thus might explain why Harmony is so invested in forcing Aaron to become Alice the alicorn. He's so driven to help his people, to even sacrifice himself, making him good material for a selfless ruler, to eventually oversee any humans that come.
Thankfully Alice won't get anymore chaos magic, she could have possibly turned into a filly sized cat.
Oh.
Fuck.
NOW FOR THE WINGS!!! And a longer horn. I want to see Annuity change her tune then deal with the hate she has sewn.
Now to start getting those lovely long legs like Cadance.
Alice now will no longer be an alicorn. She has to be a changeling queen.
No pony caught this? Alice, your human is showing.
Compared to humans, ponies learn very slowly.
Now to introduce Ogres & Oubliettes.
Banjo Kazooie?
Ugh, some people in one of the gaming Discords call me Pony Boy. And I need to stay golden.
Does Alice even know these names?
Oh, I have the perfect music for this!
There isn't anything to worry about, Twilight and friends took care of it just like Celestia planned.
"ZHU LI!! DO THE THING!!"
I want "do the thing!" to be His thing! Ot would be just great.
'Out from the backstage area, we could hear him shout "Do the Thing!!" And we all knew, that was our que to pull the backdrop into place.' It would work so well.
I enjoyed the dream sequence, Yackety Sax FTW!
8560892
That whole second paragraph is contradicted at the start of this fic. Go back and reread the first chapter and you will see Celestia scanning the 'magical resonance' of the humans through the mirror. Most of them are animals like fruit bats, dogs, etc., or god-awful things like plants, fleas, etc.
The chapters prior to school starting have always been my least favorite of this fic. The idea that Equestria's "Harmony" isn't impacting Aron's brain functions breaks down when you remember how many beings have been transformed into non-sapient plants or animals through the princess' actions in the past. Pretty scary stuff - nightmare fuel in some cases (like being transformed into a sprig of oat stalks in a land of tiny horses...).
8583316
Ah but then you forget that everyone's magic is "infested" by Harmony's influence. From 'stray' bursts of magic, to being conveniently in the path of filly's potion of true self or a child's prescription of horn cream, those are all examples how something with no true intelligence but connected through all like some amalgamated gestalt, is capable of doing what it wants. It not having a true concious means it is not malicious, it is not cruel, it is merely an organic system that does what it can to help Equestria or decide how new beings will fit.
It's not hard to guess that while Celestia's scrying isn't influenced but the instant she started scanning, Harmony stepped in to join along. It's already been following the narrative, she's been concerned about the mounting managerial duties that not even Twilight can cover for, and the quiet yearning for a student, a child. What better way can Harmony do that than to join in on the scan to find a candidate worthy to transform into an alicorn foal? We can even see that it intrinsically knows on a certain degree, of foresight, of what lies on the other side of the mirror and plans accordingly for that.
8583645
If that were true, then Harmony "knowingly" (as much as such a proposed entity could do so) influenced Celestia and Luna into bringing sapient beings into Equestria that were then forcibly transformed into objectively awful things. In addition, it means that Harmony intentionally created a Breezie tyrant, amongst other issues that have occurred because of this whole process. That's almost worse than everything just being random.
8583742
I know, isn't that terrifying?
8583316
Unless the transformation that quill did changes their equivalent, mabe he's turning them into an extinct species.
While it didn't feel so at first, "Harmony" changing the protagonist feels rather insidious. Making someone who they aren't against their will doesn't seem like it would work or that they would accept it unless painstakingly changed on every level. Plus there's the fact that who/what they become may despise the change independently for whatever reason. It really seems like its going to drive Alice into some form of Cutie Mark Failure Insanity.
8625417
Our protagonist is being changed on every level though. I think it's been made abundantly clear that her changes have greatly affected her psyche, and not just her body.
8630503
The real dilemma is that, if the changes are positive, are they right, despite the lack of choice?
And while the physical changes are certainly not controllable, psychological ones are a bit more nebulous. Sure, living with a bunch of ponies is changing how he/she sees the world, but so would living in a rough neighborhood.
In some ways, he/she does have some choice - the choice to embrace the world around her, or shut herself away and be unaffected by it.
Harmony, or magic, or whatever may have forced the physical changes, but the psychological ones are all on her.
Of course, that is neglecting brain chemistry, but from my analysis of her behavior, I haven't really seen that much of a change.
I like this kind of story for this reason. It makes you think.
8637095
Of course the full extent which Alice's mind has been affected is unclear but it doesn't take a biology major to realize changing species, gender, and age will have a big influence on hormones. As anyone who has experienced adolescence can attest, (or been pregnant) hormones can have a big effect on your mood or even your entire outlook on a situation.
8637129
Of course. I expect that to affect Alice quite shortly.
The hormone side of things makes things even more muddled on what is "right." Especially since something like "destiny" having this much control over things is incredibly creepy to most humans in general. How much is choice, really?
Anyway, that's only going to be clear later on.
Great Story!!! Can't wait for the next chapter!!!
8669205
Have you considered phonetic english symbols? (If it's going to come up again anyway.) They have widespread software support look almost familiar but still really odd - which would kinda fit the way you describe the pony language.
Discord's famous line as an example: ˈmeɪk ˈsens? ˈəʊ ˈbʌt ˈwɒt ˈfʌn ˈɪz ˈðeə ˈɪn ˈmeɪkɪŋ ˈsens?
https://easypronunciation.com/en/english-phonetic-transcription-converter
https://www.phon.ucl.ac.uk/home/wells/phoneticsymbolsforenglish.htm
Might be a pain to use, but you don't use them very often.
Aaah!squees happily I'm relevant! I get so excited every time you mention meeee. Thank you!
8675616
I somehow missed this comment when it was first posted. That would be very far down the rabbit hole to use phonetic symbols.
I already have a niche audience. I don't want to confine myself to linguistics lovers
I was very surprised by Iron Jill's secret AND the fact the girls all knew Alice is a filly.
The Tantabus, however, is what really caught me by surprise.
I assume there will be a way to get Alice to Ponyville for Luna's town wide dream
I see every author here are looking for an excuse to use The Word. Well, can't blame any one of them.
9810830
), it was used properly, and not just for a punchline or pun!
But I have to say that not only is it a good word (Good word. Good word! Who's a good word? 'Defenestrated' is, yes it is!
LOL funny thing about the bear and bird in a story with bears and a bird...
Damnit, Pinkie! Why did you have to dream about having a party with all your friends while hosting a tantibus?