Previous Chapters Next
Close
de_everfree4,698 words
de_ponyville6,872 words
de_apple7,242 words
ar_appleloosa3,652 words
cs_wonderbolts6,075 words
de_castle3,376 words
EXTRA: de_ponyvillenight281 words

de_castle

CT: 0 - T: 0

"No... no, no, no, no, no!" Twilight repeated. "They can't be here!"

"Sister!" Luna appeared quickly with the Wonderbolts and a group of royal guard with her. "We have successfully rescued the Wonderbolts from harm! It is strange, though, the beings suddenly disappeared and..." She noticed the blue-clad on the side of the throne room. "...oh, dear."

Spitfire and Soarin', along with Fleetfoot and Rapidfire, stood behind her warily gazing at the idling blue-clad soldiers. "They aren't going to... shoot us again, are they?" Soarin' asked.

"That remains to be seen, my little pony," Celestia said.

"Your Majesty!" a voice shouted from outside. "Something has appeared on the side of the astronomy tower!"

"What is it, guard?"

"It's... I think it's a crudely painted 'A'! Colored in orange and slapped directly on the side of the tower for all to see!"

"So they have returned to their standard antics, then." Celestia looked to Twilight, and past her, the blue-clad. "We must go quickly now, Twilight. Luna, stay here and guard this room. We shall begin the preparations for using the Elements of Harmony for banishing these humans from our world."

"As you wish, sister," Luna said. "Guards! Maintain observation on these humans at all times! And keep your distance away from the bomb sites!"

"But, ma'am, we don't even know where the other one is!" a guard said.

"I know!" A unicorn guard burst into the room. "Bed... room... Princess Celestia's bedroom!" he panted. "Big... 'B'... door!"

"The Princess's bedchambers?!" Twilight inquired. "But... why? What's so important about that place?"

"You mean other than the fact that they're Princess Celestia's bedchambers?" Dash responded. "I don't know, I'd say that's kind of important. I mean, it's practically the only place where Celestia can get time for herself when she's not busy doing her Princess-y stuff."

"Rainbow Dash is correct," Celestia said. "These... 'terrorists' must have a grim agenda indeed if they wish to strike at my only bastion of solace. We must stop them! Come, to the courtyard!"

"Alright, let's go." The blue-clad sprung into action and ran out of the throne room. It took not more than a few seconds before their gunfight started.

"They're in the courtyard! All of them are!" another guard shouted from the second floor.

"We must take this chance, Twilight. Strike them all down at once while we still have the chance!" Celestia commanded. Twilight nodded and looked to her friends, who nodded back at her in turn.

"Then let's kick some flank!" Applejack said.

The Elements of Harmony all ran outside, and feeling the ancient and powerful magic within them well up, invoked the Elements to appear on them. Twilight's eyes glowed with pure energy as the six ponies slowly rose into the sky as the humans below them continued their firefight unbothered. An explosion of light engulfed the courtyard, a direct blast that would have left no evil standing.

"Agh, I'm blinded!" one of the tan-clad shouted.

Twilight gasped as she fell to the ground. "It... the Elements... they... they didn't work?" She looked to Celestia, who awaited on the steps behind them, and slowly closed her eyes in failure. The most they could do was only temporarily inconvenience them with Equestria's most powerful artifacts...

"I had feared as such..." Celestia said. "These humans are no normal threat. If they should go unstopped, there is a good chance that all of Equestria will be permanently threatened by their games... and we may have to relocate the country entirely to escape them."

"Relocate?!" all six mares and baby dragon shouted in unison.

*bang*

The blue-clad soldiers won this preliminary victory against the tan-clad in the pistol match.

Counter-Terrorists Win!

CT: 1 - T: 0

"No, we are not in danger of relocating, so long as we still have options," Celestia said. "Quickly, come with me. We must venture to the vault!"

"But, Princess," Twilight said, "I thought the vault was for the Elements of Harmony?"

"That was their original purpose, yes, but in time, that purpose expanded." Celestia motioned them to follow, and they obliged. Galloping through the halls of the castle, Celestia continued her explanation. "The vault is home to many powerful magical artifacts gathered throughout Equestria, dozens of them. There may be the slim chance that at least one of them might work... and if they should not, then I am afraid that not even my sister and I can deal with this threat so long as their nullification field remains in effect."

"Did you gather them all, Princess?"

"No, not necessarily... but let us just agree that those Daring Do books may as well be considered autobiographies of a certain adventurous mare under my employ, and we'll leave it at that."

"Whoa! You mean Daring Do actually exists?! And she steals ancient treasures for the Princess?!" Dash said excitedly. "Oh, this is so awesome! I want to meet her!"

"In due time, Rainbow Dash," Celestia assured her. "But for now..." They passed into the high-vaulted arch ceilings that the vault room contained. "Now... we must act!" She quickly unlocked the vault door using her horn, and within lay a huge number of weirdly-shaped and random magical artifacts.

"Um... Princess..." Applejack said. "You sure it's alright to just grab these things and start usin' 'em? Do we even know what they do?"

"All of them have confirmed spell properties labeled out to me when they were turned in. All of them have direct magical effects on targets as one of their functions. All the user must simply do is to will it to happen, and the effect shall appear. Quickly now, I'm afraid we don't have much time."

The bomb has been planted!

"Definitely not much time," Rarity said, picking up a sizeable jewel bordered in a gold-plated frame adorned with more jewels. "I think I shall take this one. Oh, look at it, isn't it just beautiful?" She accidentally pushed one of the jewels in the frame and activated it, producing disco light patterns from the gem and smashing the stained glass in the room with a high-pitched noise. "Well, I'm sure this might do something."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Dash said, picking up what looked like a flail with sharp pointy edges. "Uh... how's this one work?" She tapped it on the ground and produced a shockwave that threw her backwards into the wall. "Ugh... yeah... so that's how it works... I'll take this one."

Fluttershy picked up a small wand with her mouth. When she activated it, it produced a small wisp of light that quickly disappeared. "Um... I shink I'll take zhis one," she mumbled.

Applejack picked up something more old-fashioned: a well-crafted set of enchanted horseshoes. "Now this looks mighty interestin'." She bucked a wall and produced a huge crater in it. "Well, I ain't sure if we can hit these guys this time 'round, but better to try than not."

"Ooooooooooh, lookie, everypony!" Pinkie appeared from the vault wearing a crown vaguely made to look like a cake. "I think this looks great!" She closed her eyes and concentrated hard. A single giant cake appeared at the end of the hallway, then prompted exploded with thundering force, earning uproarious giggles from Pinkie. "Exploding cakes! Now how about that?"

Twilight looked around in the vault. "Surely there must be something I can use..." she mumbled. Finding nothing of use, she picked up a small orb-shaped object that had 'M67' inscribed on the side. "This looks promising, if a bit small." She read the instructions on it. "Hold down priming spoon, pull pin to arm, and then throw... well, that doesn't seem too hard. Where'd this one come from, Princess?"

"Hmm?" Celestia had picked up a giant sword, and used her telekinesis to test its weight. "Oh, that thing? I'm not entirely sure as to what it is. Daring had said in her report that she found it in some strange ruins in the middle of a rainforest somewhere. She also mentioned that there were a lot of wooden boxes sitting around, as well. I'd assume it does something after you throw it, though, so be mindful of everypony else when you do."

"Okay..." Twilight gave it to Spike, who looked at it with curiosity. "Don't play with it, Spike. Remember, everything that we're using here is a weapon against the humans."

"Right, right." Spike lowered his arm with sphere still in hand and looked at Twilight. "So I guess that means everypony's good to go, then?"

"Indeed," Celestia said. "And now, we march!"

*BOOM*

"The tower! The tower has been destroyed at the base!" a guard's shouted echoed in.

Terrorists Win!

CT: 1 - T: 1

"So, remind me what we're supposed to do again?" Dash asked, peeking over the sandbags.

"We're supposed to stop them as soon as they show up," Rarity said. "These ruffians have caused enough trouble for everypony around."

"And when this is all over, we can have a party!" Pinkie said.

The three sat at the end of the hallway, directly in front of Princess Celestia's door, accompanied by two royal guards who maintained their posts. Twilight and the rest had gone with Celestia to try to stop the humans from destroying the astronomy tower yet again, though the sight of it instantaneously reconstructing itself shocked even the Princess.

"Human! Twelve o'clock!" Pinkie shouted, and shut her eyes. A fluffy frosting-lined cake appeared at the foot of the tan-clad approaching down the hallway and exploded. "Yeah, take that you... uh, Dashie? Rarity? I... I don't think it did anything!"

"Take this, you ruffians!" Rarity held up her jewel above the sandbag level and activated it, sending bright and color beams of strobe lights down the corridor. "Haha! Fear the might of this incredible jewel!" The tan-clad were blinded and began running in random directions, while some of them simply stopped and crouched as they waited for their loss of sight to subside.

Dash hopped over the sandbag and charged towards them, slamming the flail into the ground and sending her flying into the sandbags. It had a pronounced effect as it did the same for the tan-clad, and propelled them to the end of the hallway to begin their advance anew.

"Haha! Look, it worked! We can stop them this way!" Dash said, readying the flail in her mouth again.

Pinkie laughed like a madmare. "Take that, you crazy wackos! Hahaha! Have some exploding cake! Get the buck out of our land and never come back! You jerks are going to ruin Equestria and now I never want you here again forever! And on that, I PINKIE PROMISE!" She lapsed for a moment and turned around. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! OW!" She whirled back around with her angry face. "Alright, let's do this!"

Dash gave a war cry as she charged forward into the incoming crowd, swinging her mace wildly while Rarity continued her light-beam onslaught. Pinkie's exploding cakes combined with the other two produced a hugely disorienting effect on the small group of tan-clad, numbering three, and stopping them from advancing towards the bedroom.

Now, the real test was in how long they could maintain their defense...

***

"Do you see anythin', Twi?" Applejack asked, poking her head into a nearby bush and seeing nothing.

"I don't see anything at all, Applejack. What about you, Fluttershy?"

"I... I don't see anything... and the animals here tell me that everything is fine... oh, for now, at least."

"Wait! I see somethin'!" Applejack said, leaning forward to get a better look. "A bunch of them fellers are comin' into the courtyard now!"

"Look for the one with the bomb and stop him!" Twilight followed the instructions on the green sphere and threw it into the incoming group of tan-clads. She nearly jumped when it exploded, leaving a huge cloud of smoke in the aftermath. "What... what was that?!"

"I think that was a bomb, Twilight," Applejack stated.

"But I didn't know that! Oh, no, did I just kill them?" She started hyperventilating. "What if I'm--" A bullet whizzed past her ear as the tan-clad fired at her. "What?! They're still alive?!" The humans exited the smoke with only minor damage done to them, quickly turning around to engage the blue-clad squad taking up positions within the castle walls.

"Is it just me, Twi, or are there more of them this time 'round?" Applejack asked, jabbing at a tan-clad but only having her hoof phase through the form. "Buck! I was so sure that would work." She tossed off the horseshoes and rejoined Twilight and Fluttershy. "Well, ain't this a pretty sight? It's a straight-up hoedown right in the middle of the Princess's castle."

"Four... five... six.... seven... You're right, Applejack! There are more of them! This is getting really bad." Twilight turned around only to run into a group of blue-clad. "What?!"

"T-Twilight..." Fluttershy said. "They're... everywhere...!" Fluttershy shuddered and a single wispy mote flew forth from her wand, only for it to collide harmlessly against the blue-clad.

She whirled around to see the entire courtyard engulfed in a massive battle. In almost every outcropping or window, there was a human manning the station. Why were there so many? Where did they all come from? Why were they even here in the first place?!

"Twilight!" Celestia bounded over a pair of humans fighting each other with knives. "We're running out of time! Quickly, follow me! I've instructed Luna to bring the rest of the Elements of Harmony with her."

The bomb has been planted!

"But, Princess, the--"

"Now, Twilight!"

Twilight begrudgingly followed, leaving the tower to its ill fate as they met up with Luna and her group at the vault.

"Sister, what do we do?! These humans are nigh unstoppable, and all of our efforts to deter them have little effect!"

"They shot off my cake crown..." Pinkie whimpered, holding the pieces of the crown in her hooves.

"And my giant ball-on-a-stick broke!" Dash grumbled.

"This jewel ran out of power!" Rarity said, poking her now-gray jewel.

"The guards are quickly exhausting the remainder of the artifacts," Celestia said. "It won't be long until all of Equestria is engulfed in this!"

Then, as if by divine intervention, the vault glowed with a holy light from within, as an angelic choir voiced the appearance of something deeply important within. Celestia carefully ventured into the empty vault, only to find a single object on the floor, one that had a small note sitting on top of it.

(===)

Princess Celestia,

I figured you needed some help, so use this. Hit them with it and they'll go away.

-GabeN

P.S. Once you're done with it, leave it in the vault. This is a short-term loan, and I'd like to have it back.

(===)

Celestia lowered the note and looked upon the ornate weapon. It was a hammer, a very large one at that, made of resplendent steel and gold-trimmed with a large fiery gem on the pommel. On the handle read a strange word, one that Celestia had never seen before.

"Ban... hammer...?" she voiced out loud.

*BOOM*

The tower fell yet again in the distance, as the guards streamed into the room with their own used-up artifacts, only to stare at the object in wonder with the Princesses and the Elements of Harmony.

Terrorists Win!

CT: 1 - T: 2

"Stay here, Twilight!" Celestia picked up the hammer with her telekinesis, swinging it around like she had with the sword. It had a meaty weight behind it, and would most certainly deliver divine justice to these intruding humans. "I shall go out and deal with the threat myself."

"Are you sure it'll work, Your Majesty?" a guard asked.

"This is our last chance. It must work."

She walked outside and watched the chaos unfolding. Jumping into the fray, she raised the hammer, and took a swing at one of the humans.

*poof*

The human disappeared instantly, as if he were never there, equipment and all. Celestia smiled and began swinging the hammer wildly as she hopped around the courtyard, quickly dwindling down the number of humans 'till nothing remained.

"Sister!" Luna walked out of the vault room with her own hammer. "Look! The fun has been doubled!" She turned to her right and smacked the nearest group of humans, banishing them all with a single swing. "Haha! Surely they cannot hope to stand against us now!"

They quickly ran through the castle, frolicking as they brought justice swiftly to every unfortunate human found throughout the castle. Some of the guards were absolutely horrified that the Princesses were gaining some sort of enjoyment from it, but after having to deal with the humans in a prolonged period of time, it was better to just deal with it.

"And is that the last of them, sister?" Celestia asked.

"Indeed. I have scoured the last of the scoundrels from Manehattan. I believe our lands are safe once more. Shall we return the hammers to the vault, then?"

"Ah, yes, speaking of the vault... the letter stated that the hammers will only be returned if and only if we have banished all the humans from our realm. This GabeN entity has been the greatest boon for us. Perhaps we should thank him?"

"I'll do it!" Pinkie hopped forward. "We can send back a whole box of cupcakes!"

"Then a whole box of cupcakes it shall be, then," Celestia said, chuckling. She levitated the hammer into the vault, and placed her own hoof-written scroll on top, a correspondence of thanks to their unknown savior. Pinkie stepped forth with her mysteriously materialized-out-of-nowhere box of cupcakes and placed it on top.

"Thank you, mystery pony!" Pinkie said. "I hope you enjoy my cupcakes!"

They shut the door, sending the room into pitch blackness for but a moment until they opened up the doors again, only to find the hammers and the cupcake box gone.

Meanwhile, at Valve Headquarters...

"Whoa!" Gabe Newell jumped back from his seat as the hammers materialized out of thin air and slammed into the floor with a hard thud. "Right... well, at least the prototype for the actual portal gun is working just fine." He moved the hammers into his secret weapon stash located right behind his massive shelf full of knives, and kicked it shut. "Oh, look, cupcakes!"

He picked up the box and rolled over to his desk on his squeaky office chair, ready to enjoy Pinkie Pie's most delectable cupcakes in all of Equestria. Opening the box, he accidentally knocked over his portal gun, and opened a single portal towards the early evening moon that shone in the sky, and looked inside.

"Wow, these look really nice!" He picked up one and dropped the box. "Oh, crap..." He flung himself forward to catch the box, but only ended up stepping on the portal gun again, opening the entry portal in the floor as the room as the vacuum of space began to rush into his office.

"Oh... noooooooooo!" He quickly grabbed the portal gun and keyed the release on it, deactivating the portals and flopping to the ground. Taking deep breaths, he struggled to regain his air, but was thankful that at least some of the cupcakes were intact.

Standing up and taking the bite of the first cupcake, he noticed something missing. Something important. Something that should have been sitting at the edge of his table. That something was integral to Valve's next release, and now he had just blown it all down the drain by throwing it to the moon. There was no going back for that one. Perhaps moving the entire source code for Half-Life 3 on to a hard drive was a pretty stupid move.

But the internet was after him! They almost caught him, and he had to make sure no one, not even anyone at Valve, were aware that it existed! He stored all the files on the hard drive, wiped all the extra copies, and mind-wiped everyone in the office to make sure. Only he knew the secret. And now it was out... in the middle of space.

"Aw, damn it."

MATCH RESULT: N/A
All players banned from game by admin Princess Celestia

6,007 views

410

Previous Chapters Next