Years before Littlepip stepped from Stable 2, the Wasteland greeted all ponies with it's usual contempt. Tome Tale and his silent partner, Stranger, live day to day on their next bag of caps, until they stumble into something bigger than themselves.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I feel the writing is leading up to something, I quite enjoy stories that begin in the middle/end. This is a good intro. One suggestion I could make is avoiding long bursts of commas and semi-colons in a sentence. It only happened once, but it's something to keep an eye on ^^ Great work all around!
Usually, no one ever makes genuine use of structure to tell a story, but this intro seems to embrace structure and use it to give pointers about the narrator, even though they tell very little about themselves as a character. Nuances like the way Tome frequently makes single statements into their own separate paragraphs and their choice to describe themselves first as a smart pony after their own name are hints at their personality.
I cannot claim to know Tome as a character yet, but it still remains intriguing to take a guess based on their narration style.
A solid introduction.
Its not often that prologues tell so many details about the main character, and that being between the lines none the less and not outright stated. Bravo I say, you have my attention!
Nitpicks:
" it lit the floor up all yellow and warm." Unless Tome is a Stable pony should it be the ground, he was outside after all.
I am not a fan of knowing "stats" of the characters, make it seems more like a game, less like a story, would properly give the chapter a better flow by moving his stat block to the end of the chapter
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Thank you so much. I rather like the stats, but I do see your point. I am glad you're enjoying it, I can only hope you continue to read, comment and review. Please don't hesitate to critique, I can't know where to improve unless I know where I go wrong. (Though try not to spellcheck me so much, I am well aware there are a LOT of errors. XD I've got a lot of comments about it. Lol)
Please enjoy the story. :)