The Swift Spear of Street Justice

by pertelote345

Detective Work

Street had not managed to find a beer on the train. I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad about that.

A four hour train ride will wreak havoc on you. I even had to use the bathroom on the train... It was okay though I kept handy disinfecting wipes around just for such eventualities.

I knew on some level carrying those around was surrendering to my anxieties. I also knew that the fact that there was still a tiny niggling part of my brain that was attempting to trace all of the particles of fecal matter (that had inevitably spread over my hooves no matter how much I washed or disinfected them) was not in fact a healthy part of my brain and I had not deeply violated that old mare when she brushed past my hoof carrying on her suitcase.

I sighed. I needed to learn that we lived in a society where there was an accepted amount of poo you could spread around and I was well below the limit.

"Far, far below it..." I mumbled.

Street tilted her head. "Did... You say something?"

I blinked. "W-what? No! I'm just... Adjusting to our surroundings." I made a show of looking about. Honestly I probably should have done that sooner.

The station was far from bustling, but that was no surprise. Appleoosa was a barrens town. Earth ponies settled in places like this pretty often. Their breed of subtle magic was ideal for reinvigorating the landscape. They were brave and capable, but they could also be a little insular. I eyed the bow wearing ex-cop warily.

I gulped. "Say, Street... Maybe you should let me do the talking here."

Street raised an eyebrow and hauled out her duffel. "Really..?"

I winced. Oh boy... Time for a delicate conversation. "Look, I'm not saying you're not more experienced in the field, and I respect that. It's just that we're pretty deep in the sticks and-"

"BRAE!" Came a shout from behind me.

A sharp blue blur streaked past as a pale blue pegasus stallion scooped up an earth pony in a massive hug. The earth pony dipped his hat and chuckled. "Well hey there partner, what took ya so long."

The blue stallion rolled his eyes. "The tour got held up three times! I'm sorry sweetie, I really need to find another jo-"

The earth pony grabbed the other stallion and drew him into a long, passionate kiss. Then gave him a nuzzle. "We can talk about it later. I'm just glad you're here."

Absolutely no one batted an eye... Except for one mare who looked like she was in some sort of kawaii fuge state.

I was genuinely shocked. "I... Uh..."

Street gave my shoulder a pat. "Kid, you've got a lot to learn. Starting with the fact that it ain't the eighties." She made her way down the platform. "C'mon. We're burning daylight."

#

After the rookie had repeatedly apologized for being a bigoted a-hole against the townsfolk (to me for some reason) we'd made our way to Appleoosa's only (but not too shabby) inn.

I spread our files out on the bed. He was still twiddling his hooves. "You know we could have gotten separate rooms."

I sighed, "Kid, I promise to keep your virtue preserved. Besides, we aren't exactly rolling in bits. Now can we focus on changing that situation?" I pointed to the picture of our target. "Now, what do we know about this guy?"

He shrugged. "This is the first time he's been on the run I guess? He doesn't really have much in the way of family so he can't lean on them. Honestly he's probably just improvising."

I nodded. "Not a bad start, hey you want anything from room service?"

He blinked. "This place has room service?"

I picked up the little cardboard menu on the side table. "You mostly just shout down that tube in the hall and they'll bring you something. It's all pretty basic, but... Oh hey, french toast! You want some french toast?"

He looked at me like I'd just grown a second head. "Uh... No thanks."

I shrugged. "More for me then I guess." I went out, place the order and walked back in. "So anywho what else?"

The pegasus blinked. "Uhh... He hasn't had taken any money out of the bank and he left in a hurry so... He's probably short on funds."

I nodded. "Keep going rookie, you're getting there."

He raised an eyebrow. "Wait, do you know something? Is this a test?"

I shrugged. "I might have an idea, but I genuinely want to hear your thoughts."

He narrowed his eyes. "Okay... No money and no family means he'd want a job. Definitely not in finance because folks in that industry could watch for him."

I nodded. "Go on."

He put a hoof to his chin. "He'd want something simple, but not agriculture, he'd probably think he was above that. Preferably it would be a job with a couple luxuries, maybe even a room."

I smiled. "Now you're talking. Keep that stick of yours handy eh?"

He grabbed his staff, a sturdy looking thing with a steel grip in the center and copper on the ends. The action was rote, the kind of thing the military drilled into you. Only after he had it gripped in a fighting stance did he blink. "Wait, what? Why do I need my staff?"

There was a knock at the door and the delicious wafting scent of french toast filled the air. "Room service!"

I opened the door. Our target walked in with two plates of french toast and a big pitcher of orange juice.

I thanked him, then cuffed him.

Comments

[pertelote345]

6436285

Well... She's technically not bad at her job...

[Ms_Fruit_Bat]

Wow, Street is one "clever girl".
Such, a smart ass.
I love her.

[NicLove]

french toast! You want some french toast?"

Don't you mean *puts sun-glasses on* prench-toast