My true alias is Dreagonight, the Dreaded Dragon Knight, but my friends just calls me dreago, the reckless Mystic Dragon-Knight
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Trixie challenges Twilight to one last magic duel, to prove she is the better mare at magic. Only to be dishearten to find that not only is Twilight an alicorn, but has become a princess as well, completely surpassing her at every level. Twilight herself has had enough of Trixie's assertive action, so she decided to confront Trixie to see why she is so ambitious at proving her magical ability. What Trixie tells her is a little more than shocking...
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A very nice little story. I like it.
Not the 1st time I read a story in which Trixie is related to Star Swirl. But none the less this was a great story and I fully enjoyed it.
6435782 Thanks, I'm glade you enjoyed it.
6435942 Really, if you don't mind and still have it, can you pm me a link to one of those stories, I have yet to read one myself.
Nice story. Good to see your take on what makes Trixie tick.
Two thoughts I had during it: first, the Ursa incident wasn't Trixie's fault. Even if Trixie had been telling the truth about being able to take care of an ursa it was Snips and Snails' fault to bring it to Ponyville. I can understand Trixie blaming herself for it but Twilight should have made it more clear (she sort of blaced the blame on those two but never acknowledged not beign Trixie's failt).
Second, Trixie being Starswirld's ancestor was a nice idea and Twilight reacted accordingly. Though my more cynical part urges me to point, since I'm already posting this comment, that since it's been so long it's very possible Starswirl is an ancestor of most currently living ponies (those who aren't immortal or have absurdly long lfe spans), much like almost every other pony of his time.
All in all, I think I'll keep the image of Trixie requesting a final duel, but not causing any kind of trouble. Just honestly wanting to measure her magic abilities with Twilight's. It's what I liked the most.
I Love It!
I see why you don't do one shots you leave us wanting more. can you give us more cause that was good.
6437069 I don't know if I can, but I could try.
After one or two of my fic are finished that is.
6437049 I'm glade you've enjoyed it.
6436847 Lets see: One, I see what you mean. Twilight wasn't directly blaming her for the Ursa Minor, but more of saying, telling false stories could land you into trouble which other think you can solve because of what you've said.
Second, True, there could be a lot of pony related to him, but I'm sure only a few actually know this. Like if you hear you was related to the great wizard Marlin, yeah, probably not going to believe it and scuff it off as a fib while someone else believe it. Then over time only a few families know those, while the others are left in the dark.
And Trixie, I'm sure she going to try to challenge Twilight again.
Hmm. Interesting story, as 6435942 said not the first one with Trixie as a decedent of Star Swirl.
Good concept. Decent execution, except the grammar, particularly verb tenses. I'll go out on a limb and say that your first language is not English. You may want to find a proofreader to help in that area. There are several groups on the site for just such things, Authors helping Authors is one of them.
In all, you project a good sense of character and the story felt quite authentic to the show.
6441813 Thanks, sadly English is my first language, just never had any teacher to help me learn to write better(by that I mean actually teach me). That said, this was more of a test to see if I can make it by without the help of my editors. and yes I do have a couple of editors. And thanks, I tried my best to have this match the show as much as possible.
6441857 Wow, I've dealt with several ESL and non-native speakers. The consistency with which you made the same flat tense error had me thinking you were using google translate at times. Still your concept made it through despite that. Keep up the good story telling.
6441991 Hehe, thanks
. Little fact, if you was to actually hear me, I sound a bit...foreign.
6442031 Oddly, enough so do I.
6442234
Not too bad. As 6441813 mentioned the only real problem was the grammar/verb tenses, but not enough to take away from the story.
6477239 Thanks, wish my sense of grammar were good enough for me to spot them on my own. I should ask one of my editors to look over this for me
.
6478354 6477239 The story is definitely worth the clean up.
I liked it but you need someone to edit it I think. I know that's hard, I don't know anyone who could edit my stories, most people don't know I'm a Brony, but it would really help. The grammar is just too distracting to get fully into the story. But you definitely get the characters and the pacing is a heck of a lot better than my stories, it's just the grammar that's the issue.
Speaking of grammar I think I just repeated the same thing 3 times. Woops XD
6480381 I'm trying, but my editor hasn't been on in a few days for me to ask.
6480594 That's alright, good job with the story anyway :3