• Member Since 13th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Mar 21st, 2018

Arboreal Blue Leaf


I am a french unicorn who likes to write stories. I do hope you will enjoy reading them as much I enjoy writing them!

E

Sunset Shimmer is coming to Ponyville for a few days, and she will be staying at my castle. Needless to say, I wasn't expected to receive my human counterpart as well.

If I do understand, the human Twilight loves Sunset Shimmer, who is actually loving me.

What was supposed to be just holidays in turning into a love triangle I can't escape.

Special Thanks:
Majestic Hamster
XxTheFlufflyTeddyxX

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 28 )

This sounds very interesting.

6422104

Well, I hope I will be able to make the story interesting until the end! You can expect the chapter three around Sunday =) Thanks you for your comment!

The premise for this fic is sound, but the fact that English is your second language really shows: spelling is ok, but errors in tense and grammar, along with weird word choices, are to be found throughout. I recommend some real work with the editing. In it's present form it's difficult to gain a sense of immersion when I'm being pulled out of the narrative mentality correcting errors.

Please don't be discouraged though, it does have the potential to be a lovely fic; it just needs a bit more polish :twilightsmile:

Again, grammar needs serious work. Weirdly, it's at it's worst with Twilight's dialogue; she sounds completely unrecognisable. As with chapter one, this really needs some tender love and care from a good editor.

6434852

Thanks you for pointing the problems, A British Gentleman, this is very nice of you.
I have asked for help this morning, and some people have already offered their help! I am going to rework all the published chapters, and be sure I will not publish an other chapter before I am sure it is in a proper English! Your observations have helped me to see where the real problems were! Thanks again!

6436624

It is my great pleasure :twilightsmile: I must say, I'm delighted to receive such a positive response. Your fic has lots of potential; it was only really language issues holding it back. I shall look forward to seeing how it evolves now :pinkiesmile:

6436636

It is my pleasure to have people who enjoy what I am writing and also willing to help me to improve! I don't know how I could have gave you a negative or aggressive answer!
Anyway, I will try to update the story as soon as possible, I have find people who can help me with the grammar mistakes!

Wow. That was something else. I can't wait to read more.

6485754
6498991

I am very glad you are enjoying this story so far ^^
The fifth chapter is under writting, as I reworked it several times. It will be much longer than the usual 1.3K words by chapter, as I originally planned to do this chapter in two separated part. But, with or without editor, I will probably publish it this Sunday ! Stay tuned ;)

And my sorry for this late answer ^^'

Very interesting chapter. I'm curious as who Sunset will end up with: Princess Twilight, Human Twilight or both?

6508657

I'm happy you liked this chapter. And to be honest with you, I'd love to know how it will end too ^^' I am no clue about the end of the story, even if I have more and more ideas about the end.
I think that in one or two chapters, we might have the beginning of an answer ;) So far, I think one quarter or one fifth of the story have been written. I hope you will like the futures chapters !

6508751 Ah okay. I sort of didn't think you had a solid answer yet. I can't wait to read about that. Honestly I would prefer Princess Twilight with Sunset since she was the one who changed Sunset for the better and they talked to each other during the sleepover in Rainbow Rocks. Human Twilight I won't acknowledge yet until they make her character better in the 4th film not that I'm saying she's bad. She needs to be more social just like how Pony Twilight started.

6508764

You have some good points here. As far as I can tell in my story, there is the same link between Human Twilight and Sunset as their is between Sunset and Princess Twilight: in both cases, one have saved the other from the demonic form - even if Human Twilight hadn't chosen to transform.

This story is taking place a few months after the Friendship Games, thus Sunset Shimmer and Human Twilight developped closer ties. Sunset and Princess Twilight have only been talking through a book. It is two kind of relationships I want to explore. On one hand, Sunset Shimmer is idealising Princess Twilight; maybe she is more in love with the ideas that Princess Twilight represents for her than about Twilight herself. On the other hand, Human Twilight and Sunset have a more common relationship. As every friendship, they have shared experiences, memories...

At this moment, for Princess Twlight, Sunset is just a friend, surely a close friend, but there is no more about that - but maybe it will change when she will learn about Sunset's feeling - and Human Twilight is... Well... A sort of enigma. I am really looking for the part I'll be able to write a discussion between the two Twilights.

In conclusion, I might say that I'm going to have to dive deeply into the characters and their relationships in order understand what are the real links that bound them !

But, there is one thing I actually know: it is going to be a very interesting experience! ;)

6508919 Oh okay. That makes a whole lot of sense. I'll just have to see what you come up with.

I just finished reading the last chapter. I'm really interested with how the story will go. I'll be keeping an eye on this one :raritywink:

6517830

I'm glad you like it! Thanks for your comment!

Hope Sunset goes for Human-Twi. No offence to the Equestrian one but I just find Sci-Twi much cuter...

6566885 Only the future will tell us how this story will end. The 6th chapter is on the way, and I think some answers about the end will be given ;)

And here is the title's punchline. Btw, I'm cheering for SciTwi X Sunset.

7050447
Truth to be told, that was one of the few things I had planned since the very beginning of the story. Also, the final ship isn't decided yet, it's just a matter of chapters before it is settled thought!

7050486
Yay! :yay:

Well whichever ship you choose my friend, I want to see this story to it's end! Keep the good work. :pinkiehappy:

7050540
I'm going to publish one chapter every two weeks until the end of the story now - and trying to write my other story at the same time. But thank you for your interest!

Nothing like being in a love triangle :twilightoops:

7065710

And there's nothing like writing it ^^ The next chapter is being written and I must say I'm feeling the difference between before and after this chapter! Thanks you for your comment. :)

Easy way out of this is you both date her, its not weird you are basically the same pony/human.

7197533

That could be a way out but I don't think Twilight and Human Twilight would do it, since sharing someone you love with basically someone who's almost you but not you would be a little bit creepy ^^

Where did you go?? Go back and finish this story, please :fluttercry:

Login or register to comment